Gwen slid the plate across the table. She loaded up her tortilla and ate it while they filled their plates.
“Okay, so here’s the deal. Chase wants a new house for the two of them and asked for my help.”
Gwen smiled, her mushroom paused in the air, as though she had just received the answers to all of life’s questions. “And you delivered?”
“It looks that way,” she said, taking a long sip of wine before diving back into her food. She would go over there right after dinner and surprise him. She was also aware of how happy that made her, seeing him smile, being able to help him like this.
“So you’ve had to spend a lot of time with him these last two weeks?”
She rolled her eyes and stabbed her fork into a mushroom. “Just as I have with you.”
“Except she’s not Chase,” Lily said with a wink.
“And during that time things have been strictly platonic?”
“Of course.”
“All right I’m going to cut to the chase, good one, isn’t it? Everyone can see the chemistry you two have. Please tell me you’re not going to ignore that.”
“I will admit that Chase is…hot. And I will admit that I’m attracted to him on many levels. I love Maggie. But what’s the point in any of that? In three weeks I’ll be long gone. I can’t get attached to him and I can’t let Maggie get attached to me. Those two have had so much disappointment and it will kill me to hurt that little girl.”
“What if you didn’t go back?” Gwen said softly. “Don’t you miss it here? I thought when you left it would be temporary, but I always pictured you coming back for good.”
Julia finished the rest of her wine and tried to wash down the guilt and the ache that Gwen’s words brought on. “I know. I’ve gotten used to my life out there.”
“But you’re all alone.”
She shrugged. Alone, in a lot of ways, was easier. “I’ve gotten used to it.”
“You’re too young for that. Besides, if I had a man like Chase after me—”
“First off, Chase isn’t after me.”
“He’s been after you since the night you came home. I saw the expression on his face when he hugged you and whispered something in your ear in that deliciously deep voice of his. He looked like he wanted to inhale you.”
She poured the last of the wine from the bottle into her glass. “You’ve been reading way too many romance novels. ‘Deliciously deep?’” Okay, so she wasn’t about to admit that that was the perfect description of his voice and that she remembered the shiver that had rushed through her when he’d whispered in her ear.
“That’s actually what his voice sounds like,” Lily added, not helping her at all.
“I think we’re supposed to be talking about the improvements you wanted to make to your new unit,” she said, sliding the file folder filled with design ideas she’d brought along with her across the table.
Gwen snatched it and slid it to the other end. “That can wait. What cannot wait is you admitting what you’re really afraid of so that we can tell you not to be afraid and then convince you to stay.”
She leaned back in her chair and eyed her sister-in-law, wondering if she’d always been this nosy. “I’m not afraid. I’m a realist.”
Lily groaned. “Just talk. I can’t take this torture anymore.”
Julia rolled her eyes. “Nothing is happening. It’s not just me. Neither of us are on the market.”
“Chase is in the market. You’re peering through the market doors and frankly if he is the produce, you should be adding him to your cart.”
Julia stifled her laugh at Gwen’s analogy. She couldn’t encourage this.
“That man is like the finest piece of beef.”
Julia held up her hand, choking on her wine. “You guys are ridiculous. What am I supposed to do? I’m not staying here. He doesn’t need someone walking into their life only to leave in a few weeks.”
“So that means if you weren’t leaving in a few weeks this would be a possibility?”
She leaned back in her booth and stared at the pine boughs hung on the doorknobs. She couldn’t keep denying that she had feelings. “Okay, fine. There is something there.”
“Obviously.”
“He deserves someone like you.”
She folded and unfolded her napkin a few times. “What about other women in his life?”
“What women? After Sandy left that was it.”
Her heart stopped for a second, thinking back to what he’d said at the house. She thought he meant there was no one now. Not…ever. “That was four years ago.”
“Yup. That’s not for want of trying from every single, and not so single, woman in the county, mind you,” Gwen said. She pushed her plate away. “Okay, I need to stop eating.”
“But this dip is sooooo good,” Julia said, loading up another tortilla.
“The best in town. These are partly to blame for my twenty-pound weight gain,” Gwen said with a laugh that didn’t exactly sound funny.
“Don’t start again,” Lily said, dipping a chip into the creamy dip.
“Gwen, you look great,” Julia said.
Gwen frowned at her. “Sure. Which is why I haven’t been out with a guy in like…years. Years!”
Lily rolled her eyes. “It’s not because of your weight.”
Gwen wiped her mouth and frowned at the platters of food and then took another tortilla chip and dipped it in with a theatrical sigh. “Of course it is.”
“Or maybe it’s because you aren’t confident anymore. You wear baggy clothes and are always making fun of yourself.” Lily softened her words by placing her hand over Gwen’s.
Gwen’s eyes filled with tears but she waved her hand, complete with loaded tortilla, in front of her face. “Stop it.” Globs of artichokes fell onto the tabletop as she spoke. “I know what I am and it’s a problem.”
Julia leaned forward. “I don’t know why you’re making it sound like you’re so repulsive. You’re gorgeous, Gwen. Big deal, you put on a few pounds.”
Gwen rested her half-eaten chip down on her side plate. “Twenty.”
Julia shrugged. “Yeah, so what? You wear them well.”
Gwen rolled her eyes. “No one who is 5-5’ can wear twenty extra pounds well.”
“Stop, you’re being ridiculous and way too hard on yourself.”
“Really? Well, why didn’t either of you put on any weight? You both had it just as hard. Julia even harder.”
Julia rolled her eyes. “I couldn’t eat. Besides, I think the problem is your parents. Since I’ve been back in town, what two weeks, I’ve gained five pounds!”
They all laughed.
“It’s true. That house…after everything happened…I think we all turned to eating. I mean, the house was suddenly empty. Our lives were empty. It was just the three of us, night after night. Then Dad with the cancer. It was so depressing. All of it was overwhelming and I had no time for myself anymore to walk or work out. I was so focused on taking care of them that I forgot to take care of myself.”
“You made them a priority, and you should be proud of that. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I should have been around to help you out.”
Gwen shook her head. “No, Jack should have been around.”
The table went silent. She glanced over at Lily who was looking away. “Yes, he should have been around. Coming back home for Christmas is too little too late. I’m sorry, Gwen. I know you’re all looking forward to him coming home.”
“Don’t apologize. If I were you, I’d be ready to strangle him the second he walks back into town.”
Lily gave a little laugh that didn’t really sound all that happy. She took a sip of her wine. “I might have to do that,” she said, with an edge to her voice.
“How about you and I start walking in the morning before the day starts getting busy?” she said to Gwen. Her sister-in-law smiled and raised her glass to toast.
“Okay, let’s do it. Here’s to a great Christmas and
fresh starts.”
The three of them clinked their glasses.
“Now, enough about me. I’m supposed to be convincing you to take the plunge with Chase, and then move back to Shadow Creek.”
Julia almost spilled the contents of her wine glass. “Oh, is that all?”
Gwen nodded. “Yep.”
“Me too. Move back. Look how much fun we’re having. We can do this every Friday night if you moved back. Tell me you met better friends back in the city?”
She tapped her index finger on her chin and tried to keep a straight face. “Well, there is Sarah and Theresa from the agency.”
She burst out laughing when Gwen threw a bread bun in her face. Thankfully, it missed her wine glass. “Fine. Joking. Of course there was no one better than my two nosiest friends.”
“And no better guy than Chase,” Lily said, raising her glass.
“Very sneaky of you, already raising your glass.”
“You’re a tough one to fool.”
She reluctantly raised her glass as well, hating that they were right. She glanced at her watch, her stomach flipping over gently at the thought of seeing Chase tonight.
Chapter Six
Chase stared at the white dishes in his hands and refused the urge to just chuck them in the trash can instead of washing them. It’s not that he didn’t do dishes. Hell, he’d been doing dishes since he was five and had learned the hard way that if you wanted something done in life, you had to do it yourself instead of waiting for someone else to do it for you. That was one of many lessons he’d learned at a young age, as the only child of two alcoholic parents.
His childhood had been a classic episode of Hoarders. It was why he hated clutter. He couldn’t let dishes sit in the sink, couldn’t let crap pile up around the house. The memory of his childhood home would flash in front of him every now and then and he had to remind himself that he would never have to live like that again. When he’d been old enough to realize he couldn’t save people who didn’t want to be saved, he’d walked out of that house, and never looked back.
Maybe that had been part of the reason he’d wanted to be a cop. He wanted to defend and protect the people that wanted safety and order. But every single time he got called out to a place with kids, it hit him on an emotional level, that even years of training and experience couldn’t interfere with. He also knew people didn’t really change. Had he felt guilt when he’d left his parents in search of a better life? Hell yes. That didn’t change his life path, though. He’d been born with killer survival instincts.
Being around his parents made his gut churn, made him angry, made him feel worthless. He couldn’t afford to let himself feel like that. He had a daughter who depended on him to be solid, engaged, and whole. He had citizens who needed him to be strong and fearless. He couldn’t do that by having a relationship with people who didn’t value him as a person, or as a son. As a father, he could never understand how his parents could have failed him on such a basic level. He would give the world to see that his little girl grew up in a happy, healthy, safe home. That was his biggest goal in life, to raise a girl that would one day be a strong, happy, independent woman.
Sandy leaving had sent him into a backward spiral, and it was only because of his desperation to raise his daughter differently than he’d been that had kept him from abusing the bottle. It was never far from his thoughts that he was always only a bottle or two away from following in his parents’ footsteps. He’d read the stats on addiction being hereditary. He saved it for his worst nights and even then, his limit was two glasses. Sandy’s leaving their family was a reflection on him. He still blamed himself for marrying someone so selfish and irresponsible. He would never be able to make that up to Maggie.
He glanced over in time to see Maggie bang her head against the kitchen table theatrically. “How’s the homework going, Maggie?”
“It won’t even be finished in time for Christmas,” was the muffled reply.
“I’m sure you can get it done.”
She lifted her head with a start, the gleam in her eye visible across the kitchen. “How about we have a race? Let’s see who can finish first.”
He pointed his index finger in her direction. “Deal, but no sloppy work. I’m still going to inspect it.”
She nodded. “Same goes for you. I’ll inspect how clean the kitchen is.”
He chuckled. “Fair enough.”
“Care to make a wager?”
He leaned his head back and laughed. He loved her competitive streak. “No gambling, remember?”
She frowned.
He ignored her. “Ready. Set. Go!”
Barely a second later her head was down, and her pencil was to the paper. They worked like that for the next half hour, while Christmas music from the radio kept them company. Of course, give him a moment where he actually had time to think, and his thoughts went to Julia. The way she’d been standing in that house the other day, telling him her design ideas. Had he been asking her what she’d want? Hell, yes. He wanted to know. Maybe it was childish, foolish of him to imagine her there with him, but he did. He knew in his gut they were meant to be together. Now all he had to do was prove it to her before she left for good this time.
The doorbell rang and Maggie was out of her chair before he could even dry his hands on the dishcloth, so he dried them on the front of his shirt and followed her out.
“It’s Julia!” Maggie yelled as he stepped into the small entryway.
Sure enough, Julia was standing there, her cheeks rosy, her lips the color of her red scarf. Snow fell gently outside and she looked like a dream come true, standing there on his porch. She was smiling down at his little girl and his heart squeezed painfully at the sight. “Sorry I came by without calling, but I had some news and I was on my way home so I thought I’d drop by.”
“You never have to call,” his daughter said, beating him to it and then proceeded to yank Julia forward. He was laughing along with Julia as she entered the house.
“Thanks, Maggie. I love your Christmas lights out there,” she said.
“That was Daddy. I just gave the orders,” she said, taking Julia’s coat and hanging it on a hook beside the door.
“Yeah. Maggie is about as bossy as I am, so I know I don’t stand a chance arguing with her.”
Julia laughed, the sound filling up the small entrance. He found himself checking her out without her coat on. She was wearing one of those cardigan things that didn’t have buttons and was longer in the front. It looked soft and warm…much like the woman herself. Her dark jeans and the red shirt she wore under the cardigan hugged her curves.
“Come on in. I was about to put a pot of coffee on. Wanna cup?”
She walked forward, her arm around Maggie. “That would be great. It’s freezing out there.”
“I’m so glad you came. Daddy, does this mean I don’t have to finish my homework?”
Chase chuckled at the hopeful look on his daughter’s face. “Uh, nice try, but nope. Besides, I thought you were going to win the race?”
Maggie scrunched up her nose. “All bets are off due to interference.”
“Contest?” Julia asked.
Maggie nodded while he took out the coffee grinds and prepped the coffee. “Daddy and I were bored. I didn’t want to do my homework, because it’s soooooo boring, and he didn’t want to do dishes so we thought we’d have a contest.”
“That’s a great idea. But I interrupted?”
“That’s okay. I was going to win,” she said with a wink. Julia burst out laughing and he stood there wondering when his daughter had turned eight going on eighteen.
“What are you working on?” Julia asked. Maggie pulled on her hand and they sat side by side at the table while he waited for the coffee to brew.
“Math, which is so boring.”
“Oh I used to think so too. How much do you have left?”
“Five more questions! And then it’ll be bedtime! It’s like our teacher is the Grinch�
��s wife.” Maggie banged her head on her textbook dramatically once again.
He made eye contact with Julia who was covering her mouth, her eyes narrowed with laughter. He shook his head and leaned against the counter. He wasn’t even going to let himself think how perfect this was, Julia here, the three of them on this winter’s night, just hanging out like a family. God, this is what he always wanted—a good woman, a woman he loved, desired. A child. This is what he’d wanted since he’d figured out that good families really existed. He fisted his hands and forced his eyes away from the perfect picture the two of them made at the table. Instead he looked out the window and cursed himself for still wanting things that the boy inside him wanted. He knew better. He’d lived through shit and he’d seen shit, so wanting so much more was futile. It was juvenile to wish for things.
“Okay, how about this? If you hurry up and get through this, I can read you a bedtime story?”
His drama queen daughter lifted her head, looking like a new kid. She spread her arms wide. “Deal. Nobody talk to me.”
Julia stood as he walked over with two mugs of coffee. “How about we go into the living room and give Maggie peace and quiet while she works?”
“Perfect. I’m going to grab my file and I’ll meet you there,” she said, walking out of the room.
He followed her out, telling himself he shouldn’t be checking her out from behind, even though it was a great view. He placed the mugs down on the coffee table and turned on a table lamp. Julia was back in a moment and sat on the couch. He sat down beside her. The room was quiet except for the low sound of Christmas music playing from the kitchen.
“Do you still take your coffee with milk, no sugar?”
She nodded, reaching for her cup. “Good memory. Yes, this is perfect,” she said, taking a sip. “Okay. So I didn’t want to say anything in front of Maggie, but you got it, Chase.”
He put his cup down on the table and slowly stood. “What?”
Christmas with the Sheriff Page 6
