by Lass Small
To her, Tom was a rock. Rocks don’t have emotions. Rocks are around to support the fragile needs of others. They’re used to build safe places. She felt secure knowing the rock who was Tom would keep her secure and safe.
Who would make life secure and safe for Tom?
Ellen spent her time scrubbing and mopping and straightening and ironing. It was all a learning experience. Ellen began to understand one of her friends who complained about her mother making her do so much—stuff—around the house. And the mother had heard and came into the room to explain, “If you don’t know how things are done correctly, how can you direct someone else in doing them?”
Mothers always say things just like that, and it’s generally years until her children understand. That’s when they’re teaching their children.
However, Ellen’s mother had never taught her children anything. She had married a rich man and decided her children would live at the top without getting their hands dirty. How stupid. If you don’t know how to do something, how can you teach or correct someone else?
As Ellen worked, she became stronger than she’d ever been. And she was eager to attack anything. Her life was so different! She’d had no idea how busy a body could be. She met so many other people, and they were friendly. The men smiled. The women laughed and shared the gossip.
But their sharing wasn’t gossip as such, it was how wrong gossips could be! That was the lesson. Never believe what you hear—or see. Even one’s own eyes can be wrong because the brain can be wrong, and its analysis isn’t altogether correct.
Life is baffling. Fascinating. Fooling. Ellen was gradually learning that. How strange that she had to come clear out there to Mrs. Keeper before she began to heal.
She understood that she had been “ill” for a long time.
It wasn’t her mother’s fault. She was just so busy with her own group that she hadn’t noticed her children. But understanding that something had to be done, her mother had sent Ellen to the Keepers.
Their name. Keeper. Ellen had always thought they just never let things go. They were keepers. Now she was understanding that the Keepers knew how others should keep their lives on track.
It was a thoughtful revelation for someone to understand.
To be in touch with the world in the right way, Ellen watched the Keepers to understand exactly how they did things. That they mixed people. That they listened. That they maneuvered people. That they had the room and patience to allow people the time to understand their own lives.
At the Keepers, Ellen was still hearing about Andrew Parsons. She had met Lu, Andrew’s sister. Lu was already a solid woman. Andrew had had a longer time of—evolving.
Then Ellen wondered thoughtfully, did the Keepers keep those odd ball guests around to entertain the crew clear out there on the tableland?
She observed the Keepers. She could do that through Tom. She noted that the senior Keepers really liked each other. They shared temper, love, hilarity and concern. They were a couple.
They also liked their children.
It was only then that Ellen realized her mother had worried over her, and had found this haven for her.
How amazing for Ellen to realize in this frantic time and this peaceful, busy place, that her mother loved her and had found someone who could help her.
Look how long it’d taken Ellen to understand that. So she looked around at all the busy people and began to look beyond herself.
But the interesting part was that she called her parents. She told them what she was doing, and she thanked them for sending her out there. Her mother cried and her daddy blew his nose. “Do you have a cold?” Ellen interrupted herself.
Her daddy said, “I love you.”
Her mother said, “Me, too.”
When Ellen finally said she’d call again and hung up the phone, she sat thoughtfully.
Tom emerged from another room and watched her carefully. He asked, “You okay?” He’d heard her half of the entire conversation.
She smiled through tears and replied, “I have such nice, kind parents. They love me.”
“Anybody would love you.”
She considered him. Then she said to Tom, “When I get all straightened out, I do hope you’re still around.”
“If you keep tabs on me all along the way, you’ll be sure I’m waiting.”
She tilted her head sassily and smiled smugly. “I’ll see to it.” She stood up and looked around as if she was just seeing the place. Then she looked at Tom.
He hardly breathed.
She smiled gently. She told him, “I’m glad I know you and your family. You all are especially kind.”
His lips parted and he drew in air as if he was a shrinking balloon that needed air especially. His eyes were naked and he watched her.
She smiled.
He told her, “We’re not always this lucky on guests. I’m glad you’re here. Who’s making you do slave work this week?”
She tilted her head and lifted her eyebrows. She said, “I’m holding the creatures who need medical help.”
“Wow!”
“I get gloves that are padded. A vest that also covers my throat. And I wear a face mask that is not vulnerable to scratches.”
Tom gasped, “Who the hell is—”
“I chose to do this.” She told him that quite aloofly. “It is an experience at first, then you become very involved with the creature. It is sick or it hurts, and they’re being helped.”
“It scares me spitless to have you in danger.”
She boshed, “Naw. The medics are all very involved with the creatures. They do all the work. All I do is help.”
Tom frowned at her. “Don’t get hurt.”
“I won’t. They tell me exactly how to hold which creature, and I do it. They are very pleased with me.”
“Double your wages.”
Ellen grinned. “I do it free. This is fascinating for me, and it is giving me another look at life.”
Tom cautioned, “Be careful.”
She guessed, “You don’t want a one-eyed woman?”
“I’d take you blind. But I’d hate for you to not see the things that are as awesome as the sun set or the new calf or—”
“Tom—”
“Yeah?”
“You’re a good man.”
He looked at her with naked eyes. But she just smiled at him and turned away and...was gone.
Tom was fully aware of his mother’s busy office and how much she had to do. His daddy was out and about and as involved but in something entirely different from his wife’s busy life.
Tom didn’t think much about his own life. It was fascinating and busy, but he didn’t think of it as being so similar to another’s busy day. The—busyness—was equal. What women did was less—different. And until one is hurt or bedridden, how other people do things is not necessarily that interesting.
When the startled horse threw Tom all wrong, no one gasped in shock. They were just glad he wasn’t dead.
Of course, hearing Tom was badly hurt, Ellen fainted.
Fortunately, she was at the clinic helping the medical team cope with an ostrich, which is cumbersome at best. Why the grandparents had wanted ostriches on the land was something no one had ever understood.
As she was helping to restrain the animal, someone mentioned Tom Keeper was being brought into the clinic. And right then, two men carried Tom in on a stretcher and he was out cold.
That’s when Ellen fainted.
The ostrich escaped outside and had to be hunted down later. A really rude bird.
One of the men picked Ellen up and took her outside to lie on a bench ’til she came around.
Inside, Tom began to murmur softly. “Ellen?”
One of the doctors said smoothly, “She’s coming.” Then he looked at one of the interns stolidly and said, “See what’s holding her up.”
The intern left and found Ellen lying on a bench. He got some smelling salts and waved it under Ellen’s nose.
/>
She shivered and coughed and came to. She looked at the gathering around her and asked, “What happened?” Then she began to get up as she gasped, “Tom!”
The intern said, “Hold still. Just a minute. Don’t try yet”
But Ellen got up and staggered around as she said, “Help me get to him.”
Seven
White faced and frail, Ellen was staunch in going into the clinic. Two men went with her. They were serious and silent. That scared the very liver out of her. Why were they so solemn?
Ellen thought they were distressed about Tom and were worried about him. Ah, well, men are very strange and woman have to deal with them.
There’s nothing else around to substitute for men. The women had looked. Searched. Considered.
Someone led Ellen the few steps to Tom. He was on a gurney. There were a couple of doctors and a nurse all around and over Tom seeing what all was harmed.
One of the doctors glanced up as a pale white looking Ellen floated toward them. The doctor told Ellen, “He’ll be okay.”
Ellen knew he meant to comfort her. But when Tom gave no response she figured he would be a living disaster.
Ellen said to the doctor, “I can handle this. Do your best.”
She said that last so that they would understand she knew exactly how futile any help was, at that time. Tom was out cold. He was a mess. He was dirty and tromped on and probably horse rolled.
Ellen knew what to do and how to do it. She would spend her life taking care of Tom Keeper.
Her mother and father would understand. His parents, Mina and John, would be so grateful. Ellen would devote all her life and time to Tom. Yes.
From the stretcher, Tom said, “Where the hell is she?”
He could speak! Who...did he ask for? Who was the—she, Ellen wondered.
A very busy nurse said, “She’s here.”
Ellen looked around to see what other “she” might also be around there. But the place was mostly packed by male doctors and hands from on the Place. Males. They were not tidy and clean.
Neither was Tom.
Tom said again, “Where is she?”
The nurse was a little impatient, “She’s right here!” She looked at Ellen and said rather sharply, “Speak to him!”
Again, Ellen looked around. Then she asked, “Tom?”
Tom groaned, his eyes closed as he said, “Give me your hand. I hurt.”
Some male hand took her arm and pushed her right over by Tom! She gasped and was about to protest, but she was where Tom wanted her.
He said, “You’re here! I wanted to see you. Hold my hand. I want you here the whole, entire time. If you’re with me, I can be brave.”
Big, wet tears leaked out of her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She said, “Oh, Tom.”
That was all she ever did say. Just “Oh, Tom,” and nothing else at all. She didn’t comfort him or tell him he’d be okay or anything logical. She just moaned that “Oh, Tom” vocally and apparently that was what he wanted.
He passed out.
But his hand held hers or his fingers went rigid or something like that. And she thought he was dead for sure.
Somebody said quietly, “It worked. Let’s get him over to surgery.”
Some other medic said to Ellen, “Let go. We’ll fix him for you. You don’t want to go along.”
“Yes.”
They took that response wrong and thought she was logical and agreed with them. She was not at all logical nor did she agree with anything at all. She wanted to go with Tom.
Someone took Ellen’s arm and led her off. Whoever held her arm, did so in a no-nonsense manner. They put her where they wanted her to be. They directed her quite sternly to be still!
There was an elderly woman who did such and they dumped Ellen with that woman who said, “Now, honey, I know just how you feel. I’ve done this so many times that I could tell you exactly what is happening when. Your man will be okay. Don’t fret.”
Ellen said, “Hush.”
The old woman looked up in some surprise and asked, “You praying?”
“I want silence.”
The old woman replied, “Good. I’ll think kind thoughts his way.”
“Be quiet.”
“Ummmm.”
With that last comment, the old woman hadn’t spoken but she hadn’t been quiet, either. Sometimes people need other people to talk them through something. Ellen did not want anyone talking.
What Ellen wanted was all in her busy brain as her imagination showed her all sorts of pictures of disaster happening and Tom right in the middle of it all.
He would be.
He was that kind of person.
He gave too much of himself in every damned thing that happened around whereever he was!
Ellen quarreled with her guardian angel and his, and she scolded God and talked to the Devil telling him to get on off, this was a good man.
The whole, entire time was exhausting.
Somebody brought her tea.
Somebody else brought her cookies. She nibbled on one. The tea got cold. It was replaced with a glass of water. She could drink water and did sip it endlessly. The water seemed endless because somebody kept refilling it.
People spoke to her but it wasn’t about Tom... And she realized that his parents were there. They were sitting with her. Mina held her hand!
Ellen closed her fingers around Mina’s hand so that the older woman would know she was not alone.
Mina said, “He’s okay.”
How like Mina to soothe someone else. Ellen nodded as if she agreed with Tom’s mother. Mina would need Ellen to help take care of Tom. How devastating for the parents of such a fine young man. Ellen would help them. She’d stay with them all and do her share.
Time passed in the waiting room, and Ellen lay back and slept without knowing she did that. Her body apparently decided she needed to sleep. How strange a body can be. In control, it can do as it chooses.
She then wondered about Tom’s body and what all it was doing, and if it could do...anything at all?
He’d looked so—broken.
With her eyes closed for privacy, she felt the hot tears seep out from under her eyelids and run down her cheeks.
Mina gently blotted Ellen’s tears with her useless, tiny, lace handkerchief.
Sleeping helped. It was some time later when sounds came into Ellen’s ears. They were ordinary sounds. With her eyes closed, Ellen tried to figure out where she was and why she’d been—out. A wreck? The sounds weren’t those of her bedroom not even with the door open into the hall.
She opened her eyes to a carefully softened light. She was in a very small rather tacky room she did not know. She was on a sofa that was staunch and uncomfortable. Mina was watching her.
Ellen licked her lips as she remembered why she was there. She asked Mina, “Are you all right?”
Mina nodded. “Tom is doing very well.”
Tears filled Ellen’s eyes and spilled over onto her cheeks to take the dried, previous paths down her face and onto her neck. It wasn’t something she wanted to happen. She didn’t know how to comfort Mina or John. She said questioningly, “I was asleep?”
“Yes. They are still putting Tom together. He was badly hurt.”
“Will he live?”
Mina assured her, “Oh, yes. It’s just bones and flesh. His vitals are all right.”
His vitals. What all in a man is—vital?
She decided it would depend on what a man wanted to do. Did he want to move, to control his life? Get married and have children? Drive a car? Speak? What would a man...choose? To be able to walk? To hear? To do the things he’d always done so carelessly without considering the magic of such a move?
How could Ellen ask such questions to his mother and father? What all did they now know?
Without Ellen’s questions, Mina said, “He’ll be all right. It’ll take a while.”
“Do you know what happened to him?”
“N
ot exactly. Everybody is rather tilted. As far as we know, it was a horse that was spooked.”
“Oh.”
Mina said, “They aren’t sure what did it. But they’d heard a whine of—something. They’re going out to see if they can find anything.”
Ellen said, “Someone told me Andrew Parsons, the man who clipped the wire fence and invaded Keeper land, spoke about hearing a rush of air just before his horse was shot. It was a bullet from a highpowered rifle.”
“Yes.”
Ellen asked, “Was it that? Again?”
“We’ll find out.”
But Ellen pushed, “Was Tom shot or his horse?”
“As we understand it, it was just the sound. Whatever the sound was, there was no bullet in the horse or Tom or in any of the other horses or the men. It was a passing sound. The horse apparently is okay. He did buck and pitched Tom.”
Ellen gasped, “Tom was pitched?”
“Yep.” That was John Keeper. “And I’m sure Tom is very annoyed that it happened. It’s been years since he couldn’t stay on a horse that pitched.”
Even teary-eyed, Mina Keeper smiled over such.
Ellen drew an unsteady breath. “He’s still in surgery?”
“Yes.”
Ellen told the Keepers, “I believe I’ll go out and walk around. I feel odd.”
Mina said, “Go into the lavatory first. You may need to throw up.”
“Thank you. I shall.” And quite somberly, Ellen got up and walked to the rest room. She washed her face and hands. She looked at herself in the mirror and thought it was a good thing Tom couldn’t see her looking like that!
She went outside and found two men following her. They were from the ranch, and Mina had probably told them to watch out for Ellen Simpson. That was a drag. She was adult and able to take care of herself.
Where was she to go—to cry—alone?
There was no such place handy, so she went back inside the tiny hospital—which mostly took care of the place’s animals. It must be odd to be a human patient of such doctors.
The doctors could do anything. Not just foolishness, but they could actually fix just about anything. They hadn’t found any stumbler as yet. And they didn’t seem at all stymied by the shocking harm to Tom.
