by Cooper, R.
The lights were on as he came in the servant’s entrance, even the lights in the kitchen, though there was no sign of a disturbance. He could hear no laughter, or any other indicator of a guest, but the flowers must have arrived sometime during the day, and someone had put them out in the entranceway. The house smelled of lilies.
Will went to the bedroom first, but it was early yet, so seeing it empty did not surprise him. Seeing the bed neatly made did. The bathroom floor had been cleaned as well, though Will could see dried specks of shaving lather and felt his shame anew.
With the rest of the house, save the upstairs, unoccupied, he had one more room to check. He found his master behind his desk in his study, staring down at an opened book. He did not seem to be reading at all. He was not even wearing his glasses.
“Was there anything you needed, sir?” Will broke into his gentleman’s thoughts as meekly as he could but Charlie lifted his head and stared at him so intently that Will could not help shifting from foot to foot. An icy, anxious feeling settled in Will’s stomach, along with a flutter. He should have straightened his collar, smoothed down his hair, but it seemed one morning of being a proper valet was all he could manage.
Not even that. Not even one morning. Will would have lowered his eyes but something in his master’s gaze would not allow him to.
“You came back,” his gentleman murmured, too warmly considering Will’s mistakes. Will tried not to shiver.
“I am here as long as you need me, sir.” Will could deny it no longer though it emerged on a sigh. “I am of little help to you but I am here.”
“I could ask for no better help. You are everything to me.” The words were low and heartfelt and created another chill in Will’s stomach. Charlie straightened the moment he spoke them, and tightened his mouth into a firm line. Will looked away and then back to him. His eyes were stinging as they had that morning. The chill would not leave him.
“Sir, you do not need to protect my feelings.” Will could not stop trembling. “I cannot even prepare your toast. I know nothing of politics. And I cannot stop thinking of you, sir.” He swallowed a gasp to hear himself then gave a quiet wail of despair. “I cannot control my tongue. Your sisters do not care for me and rightfully so.”
“My sisters think the world of you.” Even knowing him, knowing his gentle nature, his master’s scowl was intimidating. His master pushed himself from his chair, sending it rolling back from the desk. He put his hands out. “Where did you hear otherwise?”
“Sir?” Will could not fully believe was he was hearing. “Miss Ann said—”
“Ann credits you with my recovery, as do I.” Charlie raised his voice. He stopped to clear his throat, then directed his eyes at the wall. “You are not perfect but neither am I. Your efforts are genuine and I could ask for no better help. To know that you will be here every morning, even with just biscuits, makes me want to get out of bed. That you admire my work so much makes me work harder so I can be what you think I am. Will, I—” Charlie ended his own words with a strangled cough and pushed one hand flat against the surface of the desk. A few seconds later he turned away. “I’m embarrassing myself. I apologise. If you wish to leave your position, Will, I would not blame you.”
“Leave my position?” Will hurried forward, the only motion he seemed capable of. He crossed the room in a rush, stopping when his gentleman was in front of him. “You want me to leave you?” he demanded a moment later when his master would not look at him. “Do not send me away, sir, please. I can do better.” Will did not believe it but he promised it just the same.
“Do better?” Charlie faced with him narrowed eyes. His voice was first incredulous, then fierce. “How could you possibly do better?” He could have been confused, but his air, his very bearing, made it an order for the truth. Will moved without thinking, hiding his stinging face against his gentleman’s shoulder.
“A real valet would not do this,” Will told him. It should not have to be said. But of the things that should not be, his fingers crawling up to curl into his master’s cravat were the bigger sin. Yet Will could not make himself release it. He was a true disappointment in all respects.
His gentleman was scarcely breathing. “Will,” Charlie whispered after too many moments, “Will, you must want more than me, than this.”
Will lifted his head, aware he was not at his best. His nose would be red, like his eyes. His hair was out of order. There was nothing of allure or temptation in him. He did not care. There were scant inches’ difference in their height, but he stared up and remained as still as he could with his cheeks wet and hiccoughs escaping his chest. After a moment he shook his head. “No, sir.”
He nearly shut his eyes at the cool press of a metal thumb against his cheek and spent a moment foolishly marveling at his master’s control that the touch could stay so gentle.
“I am a fool.” His master’s rough voice made Will stop crying to glare. Of the two of them, Will was the fool here, and opened his mouth to say so. He was silenced by his master’s mouth on his, the softest of pressures yet enough to take his breath. Will clutched weakly at the cravat. He thought he’d closed his eyes, then thought they were open again, but swore to nothing. It could not be real, his gentlemen sliding his mouth to his ear and back to his mouth, giving Will short, careful kisses that were sweet enough to make Will shiver and arch his neck for more.
“Will,” his master breathed against Will’s throat, his mouth hot, one of his hands cool. Will shuddered and turned his cheek into that hand. His master frowned and seemed puzzled when Will only shuddered harder, wracked with pleasure by one stern look.
“Have I displeased you, sir?” Will asked him slowly, desire heavy in his voice. He was not sure at the moment what answer he would prefer.
Charlie exhaled. “No.” He was harsh but only for a moment. His thumb again swept over Will’s skin, brushed his mouth. Will parted his lips to receive it and drew another startled whisper from his master. He watched the thoughts crease his gentleman’s forehead, watched him struggle to breathe though he could not feel what Will’s mouth was doing to the metal thumb. “No, but Will you should not. I should not. I will not use you.”
“You want me.” It was all Will could think. He slid his mouth away and swallowed the taste of iron. He stared at Charlie, at his gentleman, in confusion. “If you want me, sir, use me.” He pulled the cravat pin and tugged loose the cravat itself until he felt it slide between his fingers, over his wrists. He put his mouth to the base of his master’s throat, kissed it as he had dreamed of doing. “If you won’t, then let me use you.” His thoughts had vanished with the scent of Charlie’s shaving soap and the taste of his skin. He pressed in, finding buttons and freeing them with ease. He did not look up, but he did not have to; he could hear Charlie’s ragged breathing and feel his body tense under his hands. That was all, aside from his master’s frantic heartbeat. Will lowered his voice, less certain that he had been a moment before. “Please, sir, I have waited so long.”
“Will.” His gentleman said his name as no other said it, exhilarated. His master’s hand slid to the back of his head. It was Will’s only warning. Then his back was to the desk and he was receiving a fierce kiss. He parted his lips. His hands came up only to linger on Charlie’s arms, his chest. His moan was helpless. He was panting in seconds, begging moments after that, thinking only that he had been mistaken to think his master a man restrained in his passions. His master took his mouth most assuredly. He was welcome to the rest of his body.
Will opened his legs for him and let out a pleased murmur when his master stepped between them. “Yes, sir, please.” His lips were buzzing and plump, a temptation it seemed his master could no longer resist. He pressed Will to the surface of his desk, pushing aside papers without care, and bent down with him to keep their mouths together. He kissed hungry. Will held tightly to him and shivered to find the desk firm against his backside. “Yes, sir, please,” he begged again. This was everything. There was a br
uising ache at his hip where one of his gentleman’s hands held him down yet he could not make himself think it anything other than arousing. He whimpered at the bit of pain and met a troubled, dark gaze. His master pulled back.
“You do not have to call me sir,” his gentleman’s voice rumbled over him. Will opened his mouth and could not tell if he pulled his master down to him or if his master came down to kiss him again on his own because Will wriggled for him and licked his swollen lips. “My name will do.” His master spoke between kisses and his master had teeth, teeth he scraped over Will’s jaw and collarbone to drive Will mad. “Or Charlie, as you said once.” His master followed every rough caress with a soft one. Will might never know which he preferred more, too gentle or not gentle enough.
“Charlie, sir,” Will murmured for him, writhing at the heated look this earned him, at the hot hand of flesh and bone that slid into his trousers. “Charlie, sir. Charlie.” He could not stop the words from spilling out of his mouth now. He was supposed to be giving his gentleman the use of him. Instead he was weak for the press of his gentleman’s mouth and shivering with need for the weighty iron keeping him in place. His master only kissed him further, at his ear and down his chest, around his own fingers.
“I will not use you.” The words from his master were granite but his mouth was kisses so tender Will could not bear it. He had not prepared for this, his gentleman holding him down to give him pleasure. Even the chafe of a dry palm only made Will gasp for more.
“Master.” His face was hot. His eyes were burning. The shocked inhalation from Charlie could not stop Will from jerking his hips up and begging for the release that was so near. He did not know whether to reach for Charlie or leave his hands flat on the desk. He thought either would please and the freedom was heady. “Master Charlie, sir, please.”
“Yes, Will.” Charlie would never know what his voice did to Will, the honest confusion at how Will could think so of him, how quickly it melted back to lust when Will immediately came, moaning grateful for every stroke of his master’s hand.
“Master?” Charlie repeated moments later while Will was fighting for breath and struggling to keep his eyes open. Charlie’s hand was still inside Will’s trousers. His gaze was serious. Will turned his head toward him and waited a moment before nodding. His gentleman seemed to need more. “You begged.” A need to understand and a desire to hear more warred in his master’s handsome face, desire to be wanted that much, confusion that Will should beg for him. People should be begging for him always. Will could not seem to articulate that with their skin touching and his gentleman only now ceasing to milk drops of his seed from him. Will whimpered when it became painful and Charlie stopped before straightening and pulling away. He sat down heavily in his chair
Will tried to stand and felt his unsteady legs carry to him to the floor. He did not mind, despite how his master expressed concern and tried to help him. Will slid between his master’s legs and grasped at his thighs to stay up. He did not bother with a pillow for his knees and he was shameless when he took his master’s stained hand and brought it to his mouth to clean it.
“Will. Will, I will not…” Charles Howard, esq. was a most honourable man who would have to be made to understand how much Will adored him. Will was determined now. He finished cleaning his seed from his master’s hand and then focused on pulling his master’s trousers open. He immediately felt clumsy fingers in his hair, a strong grip at his shoulder. But at the moment Will’s strength was greater, and he would not be denied any longer.
“Charlie,” Will murmured into his master’s stomach, Charlie because it had pleased his gentleman to be called that as well as master, and took his master’s cock into his mouth. He dragged his palms over Charlie’s thighs and ducked his head, offering his mouth for use. He had thought his mouth his one good trait, aside from his tight arse, until now, with Charlie petting feverishly over his ear and his jaw, caressing Will’s open lips as though not sure of what more would be accepted, as though unwilling to risk anything that would drive Will from him. It was the first time Will had ever thought his master less than brilliant.
“Will.” Charlie’s voice was husky, not entirely drowning the whirr of moving parts in his arm, the urges his nerves read that he tried to deny. He did not understand how high Will was for this and did not until Will swallowed around more of him and moaned. Then his master’s hips came up and his hand rested at Will’s crown and Will was sucking him. Will would not let him pull away, not when he gagged, not with spittle at his chin, and not a few minutes later with spunk hot in his mouth. He took it, because he wished to and because his master needed to see that he would, and gladly. A weak groan from above finally made him pull off, but only to lick up the rest of the mess and swallow that too.
Some of his hair caught in his master’s other hand. Will put his mouth to Charlie’s thigh and made a series of grateful noises into the muscle while Charlie gently freed him.
“You should not call me master.” It might have been a scold in his master’s voice. It might also have been need. “I am not so much.”
“Shut up,” Will told him, refusing to look up. “You are my master and I am happy.” His gentleman knew everything of him now, what Will felt and what Will wanted from him. Will caught his breath as he waited, though he was too hot and drowsy to move. The tension humming under his skin instantly eased the moment a warm hand slid back into his hair. The metal one followed it, curving against Will’s cheek. Will let out a sigh.
“You like the title?” His master was exceedingly lovely in his caution. He did not understand Will, but he wanted to.
Will rubbed his face into a steel palm. “I enjoy knowing I have pleased you, sir. I enjoy it very much.” He imagined his gentleman’s face as he absorbed that explanation and struggled to understand it. He endeavored to explain more. “And when you are frustrated, sir, I often wish you would make use of me, instead of throwing a pen or book.”
Alarm made his master tense. Will gave a small shake of his head. “Not to throw me or hit me. Only that you be very firm with me.” He let out a shuddering breath. “You may be very firm with me, sir.” Will was emboldened by his master’s stillness. “My sir. You may hold me down again, if you wish.” How his master’s breathing quickened. Will glanced up in time to see the dark colour in his cheeks. But his gentleman remained silent. Will closed his eyes and leaned into him. “It is not using me if I beg you to. If you are gentle afterward. If you are mine. That is,” his voice broke, leaving him to whisper, “that is what I want, and what I have wanted, since knowing you, sir.” There was no answer, not for a long time, but Charlie’s hand stayed in his hair. After a while, the tension left Will. He recognized the silence now as contemplative, not repulsed. “You will not send me away.” Somehow, Will was sure of it.
“I couldn’t.” Charlie’s voice was rough. “But I am not presuming?” Only his gentleman would ask such a thing. Will had chosen well. “It will not be like your operettas.”
Will shook his head, mostly at himself. “If you do not mind biscuits for breakfast and crooked sandwiches then I do not.” Not as long as Charlie was his.
“Dull evenings at home and spilled bathwater, my sisters….” His master did not seem to hear him as he made his own list of faults. “Will,” Charlie added abruptly, “Will, I am sorry but I cannot spend another night in this chair.”
“Shite!” Will swore crudely and scrambled to his feet. He noticed Charlie’s red face and paused, then shook off the desire to kiss him so he could help Charlie to his feet. “Sorry, sir.”
“Charlie.” Charlie corrected him, watching him carefully.
“Charlie, sir.” Will grinned boldly at him, a distraction, but he was pleased when his master accepted that as well as his help. Will was taking some of his gentleman’s weight, but he felt as if he were floating. Charlie doubtless could have walked but Will could not let him go. Even when the reached the bedroom and the edge of the bed it was difficult to releas
e him. Will put his hands on the buttons of his gentleman’s waistcoat, the few buttons remaining that Will had not undone previously, and nearly jumped when he felt a tug at his shirt. He glanced down. The metal hand had dexterity but his master still had the trouble with buttons.
Will stopped, then looked into his master’s face before shrugging out of his coat. His master took that as permission to continue to slowly undress him. Will was shaking before he was done. “I don’t understand you, sir.” He could not keep his voice steady.
“I thought myself obvious.” There were crinkles at the corners of his master’s eyes, though he kept his head away and his gaze on Will’s skin as he slowly exposed more of it. He pushed Will’s shirt to the floor and Will shuddered lightly. He had never been anywhere near this naked before his master.
“You are never obvious, sir.” Will wanted to frown and could not, not with his master pulling down his trousers too. They tumbled down to Will’s ankles. He thought his master pleased and would have stripped his own clothes away if Charlie wished it, but the slow motions of Charlie’s hands kept him from moving. He thought perhaps his master had imagined undressing him like this. Will was not about to deny him.
His master seemed like a man made of fire. He always had, but now he was touching Will, laying hands on him with such intent that Will could not move. He was undressed and undone and all but in his master’s bed.
“You want me here too?” Will did not add sir. He could not though he got a frown that made his heart race. Charlie finally looked up into his face again. His gaze was dark and earnest and resolute.
“Do you think I would risk the wrath of my sisters for anything less?” Charlie spoke quietly, causing Will to recall Miss Ann’s words and feel a distant shock. His master only grew more passionate at Will’s silence. He struck like lightening, leaving Will to shiver in awe. “Do you think I don’t love you? I thought you know of the nights I have spent awake wishing you beside me, dreaming you were just as torn and aching as I was.” He didn’t seem to see Will’s desperate nod as Will tried to express the multitude of feelings in his heart. “Yes, I want you here. As long you want to be here I want you here.” At that Charlie paused and glanced away. His firm tone faded away. “If you are sure you want to be here. I will not punish you if you say no. I would understand.”
