“That must’ve been devastating. How have you gotten through it?” she asked with great despair in her eyes.
“It’s taken a few years of therapy and meeting someone new who opened my heart to love again. I hadn’t dated anyone for almost three years. Then I met an amazing man who has completely swept me off my feet. Opening myself up to him has helped me to let go of my old boyfriend.”
“I’m glad you’ve been able to move on. I guess I just kept thinking we’d get back together. I know that was silly of me. We’ve been apart for ten years, leading our own lives. But when we reconnected and I found out he’d never married, I figured it was just a matter of time before we were together again,” the woman said, rubbing her arms.
“It’s understandable. Letting go of love is the hardest thing to do. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not like you knew he would be in an accident,” Kate said, trying to console the woman. She understood what she was going through. She’d blamed herself for David’s death for years.
“It’s hard not to blame myself. I left him and then expected him to come chasing after me when he told me flat out he wouldn’t. I didn’t realize how foolish I was being. I took love for granted and missed out on years of happiness with Tim. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be,” she said, gazing off into the distance for something that wasn’t there.
“Oh, you can’t blame yourself. One of the reasons I needed to go to counseling was because I allowed the guilt of David dying to stop me from living. It’s been really helpful to work through that incorrect assumption. It gave me closure.”
The woman grew quiet for a few moments, seemingly deep in thought. Kate didn’t say anything else. She turned to her brother, whom she’d forgotten about. He was listening to his iPod, oblivious to the conversation that had taken place. Must be nice to be a guy sometimes.
The flight attendants came around with drinks and peanuts. Kate got a Sprite. She didn’t want anything with caffeine, as she already felt jittery enough. She sipped on it for a few minutes. Then she decided she would take out her Kindle and read. When she opened her purse, she saw the album she’d taken out of Neil’s car. She had so much on her mind she’d forgotten all about it. Opening it up, she was expecting to see pictures of Neil. Her eyes widened, not believing what she was seeing. The first picture was of Neil and a woman she assumed was Elizabeth, in Italy. Normally, this wouldn’t be surprising, but the resemblance between herself and Elizabeth was uncanny. She was a ringer for Neil’s dead wife. She sat there staring at the picture, not sure what to do. Emotions were crashing over her like the waves in the sea.
“When did you and your boyfriend go to Italy?” the woman asked, glancing at the album.
Kate didn’t know what to say. She was speechless. Should she just make something up? She really didn’t want to disclose she was the look-a-like for her boyfriend’s dead wife. But she couldn’t think of a good lie, so she told the truth. Telling a complete stranger seemed harmless somehow.
“This isn’t me in the picture. I took the album out of my boyfriend’s car when he dropped me off at the airport. He doesn’t even know I have it. I found it in the glove compartment when I was looking for a tissue,” she said, running her hand through her hair.
“Oh, she just looks so much like you. Who is she, then?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s his wife. She died of cancer not long after they were married.”
“Did you know you two looked this much alike?”
“No, this is the first time I’ve ever seen her picture. It’s pretty shocking. Neil doesn’t have any pictures around the house. It didn’t occur to me to ask to see a picture of her. I guess I just didn’t want to bring up any painful memories for him. I haven’t shown him any pictures of my boyfriend that passed away. But, of course, they aren’t practically twins.”
“Well, why would it occur to you to ask to see her picture? You didn’t know him when he was married.”
“This is so unsettling. I don’t know what to think right now. Is he only with me because I look so much like her?” Kate said aloud, not expecting an answer.
“Well, try to give him the benefit of the doubt until he can explain himself.”
Kate nodded, but she didn’t say anything else. That sounded like good advice. She continued to look through the album. The pictures in which Elizabeth’s hair was up didn’t resemble her very much at all, but other angles were spot on. Her mind was reeling from this new development. Their next conversation was going to be a critical one. She was relieved to have time on the plane to process the newest drama to unfold in her life. What else was going to happen? Her life had gone from three years of complete boredom to a raging tornado over the last couple of months.
“Some of the pictures don’t look much like you at all. Has he ever mentioned you look like her?”
Kate tucked the album back into her purse after seeing the flight attendants coming around with dinner menus. After glancing at the choices, she opted for the Thai chicken salad, figuring she would be eating somewhat out of her normal routine while staying with her relatives.
“No, he hasn’t. But I’m sure he’s noticed. It’s hard to miss. But I will give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s been really good to me. I feel very fortunate to have found love again after losing my first love.”
“Well, take a page from my book. I never got over Tim and I regret the decisions I made. I took him for granted, assuming he would come around or it would be easy to find someone else I was compatible with. Now I don’t think I’ll ever find love again.”
Kate put her hand on the woman’s arm. “You’re a beautiful, intelligent, kind woman. You can find love again. You might just need to get some help like I did in counseling. My counselor helped me to get through the grief.”
“How long did you see your counselor?”
“I still do. I’ve been seeing Dr. Cox for almost three years. I might stop seeing him soon. I think it’s time. I finally feel whole now.”
“Thanks for sharing that with me. I appreciate it. By the way, my name’s Michelle.”
“My name’s Kate, and I appreciate all you’ve shared with me too. You’ve made this flight go by quickly.”
“Yeah, it’s been great chatting with you. It’s hard to believe we only have an hour left. I’m going to find a counselor when I get home. I want to move on like you have.”
“Well, it’s a work in progress. Give yourself time and know things can get better,” Kate said. “They have for me. At least I thought they had until I swiped Neil’s photo album. Now I’m not sure if he’s in love with me or the fact I look like his dead wife.”
“Just because you look like her doesn’t mean he’s not in love with you. We all have a ‘type’ we like. I always go for men with dark hair and eyes just like Tim. It’s normal to be attracted to a certain look.”
“True, but this is more than hair and eye color. Elizabeth and I have a very strong resemblance to each other.”
Michelle nodded. “Do you know how you’re going to handle this?”
“I’m not sure yet. I’m going to ask him about it and take it from there. I do agree with you that we have a ‘type.’ There was a guy at school I was attracted to who looked so much like Neil he could be Neil’s younger brother.”
“Did you like the guy from school as well?”
“I did, but I could tell he was more of a womanizer. I chose Neil because he’s mature and established. Mark had a horde of girls following him around campus. I didn’t just want to be another notch on his bedpost.”
“It sounds like you made the right choice. Once you talk to Neil, you’ll know how to handle it.”
The pilot came on over the PA and announced they were on the final approach to the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport. They only had about fifteen minutes until landing. Kate would be able to talk to Neil soon. She felt nervous about how that conversation could turn out. What if her likeness to Elizabeth was the main reason he was with her? That would be
devastating. She was totally immersed in her new life. He’d taken her heart, body, and soul. She expected their relationship would become serious and permanent. She assumed they’d get married someday, but now, she wasn’t sure what to think.
She glanced over at her brother and saw he was sleeping. She gently rubbed his arm until he stirred. He took off his earphones, and she told him they would be landing in a few minutes. He’d slept since dinner.
“I hope everything works out for you and Neil,” Michelle said.
“Me too.”
“Are you nervous about talking to him?”
“I’m nervous about the outcome of our talk. This has the potential of being a deal breaker. I’m going to talk to my best friend Charlie first. She’s seen us together. I want her perspective before talking to him.”
“That’s a good idea.”
“I hope everything goes okay for you this weekend. It’s not going to be easy,” Kate said with a comforting smile.
“I know it’ll be hard, but you’ve given me hope I can move on. Thanks for that.”
“You’re welcome. I’m glad I could help.”
With that being said, the plane landed. As it taxied down the runway, Kate felt a pit growing in her stomach. The next few days were going to be difficult. She wasn’t sure if she was more anxious about her dad’s funeral or the impending talk with Neil.
The passengers began deplaning. Kate and Eric walked out with Michelle. When they made it to the waiting area, Kate hugged Michelle farewell, wishing her luck as she headed for her connecting flight to Fargo. Kate took out her cell phone and called her cousin John to let him know they’d landed. As he lived only fifteen minutes from the airport, he, his wife Cathy, and Aunt Donna would pick them up outside the terminal. Kate hadn’t seen her cousin since her last visit to Minnesota when she was thirteen, so she was looking forward to seeing her family. Almost twenty years older than her, John had been very close to her father, so she was eager to talk to him about her dad and learn more about him. She felt like she didn’t know the man who brought her into this world and hoped John could shed some light on why her father made the decisions he had made.
CHAPTER NINE
Kate
John called Kate to say they were in the line of cars picking up and Cathy was getting out to find them. The huge smile on Cathy’s face eased Kate’s anxiety. She’d always loved Cathy; she was a good woman and John was lucky to have her.
After everyone exchanged hugs, they headed toward John and Cathy’s home. Kate was distracted with thoughts of Neil, so she let Eric be in the spotlight. This gave her a few minutes to think.
After the brief drive to their home, Cathy showed Kate to the basement, where she’d be sleeping. Her spacious guest quarters, which included a private bathroom, provided Kate not only with some separation from the rest of the house, but also with much needed privacy too.
Kate took out her cell phone and sent a quick text to Neil to let him know she’d arrived safely, but couldn’t call yet. She wanted to spend time with her family. She and her brother spent the next two hours looking at pictures, reminiscing, and talking about their lives in California. John had made a DVD with photographs of her father’s life set to “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” It was the Hawaiian version by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, and it brought tears to her eyes. She definitely never had a somewhere over the rainbow experience with her father. She’d yearned for it her entire life, and her heart was broken because of what she’d missed out on. Her father’s pride and bitterness toward her mother had ruined any chance for that. She wondered if she’d ever get a happy ending. Her mind wandered back to the impending conversation with Neil.
She looked at her watch and stretched her arms upward, arching her back.
“Tired?” her cousin asked.
“Yeah, it’s been a long few days. I’m going to go to bed. It sounds like tomorrow’s going to be a draining day.”
John nodded. “Good night. I’m grateful you’re here.”
“Thanks, John. So am I. You and Cathy opening your home to us means a lot,” she said, giving her cousin a hug. She hugged her brother and Cathy too and headed down the stairs.
The first thing on her agenda was to call Charlie and fill her in about the album. She needed her best friend’s advice about how to proceed.
Charlie was stumped. “So the pictures look so much like you the woman on the plane thought they were you?” she asked.
“That’s it in a nutshell.”
“Wow, I don’t know what to tell you. This is crazy. You needed more drama like you needed a hole in the head.”
“I know, right? I need to talk to him about this, but I don’t want to be out-lawyered by him. He negotiates and talks for a living.”
“No matter what, I’m here for you. Our second bedroom is yours if you need it. Mitch won’t mind. You know you’re like the sister he never had.”
“Thanks, Charlie. I might take you up on that. We did move in together really fast. It seems like my whole life now revolves around him. I’ve become completely dependent on him, thanks to Roger.”
“Well, it pretty much does. Working for him may not be the wisest thing you could do right now. You might want to check out other jobs.”
“Yeah, I have a lot to think about. I’ll text you after I talk to him and let you know what’s going on.”
“Sounds good. Call me if you need to talk.”
“I will. Good night.”
“Good night.”
Now for the call she’d been dreading. The call that could make everything in her life go sideways.
Neil picked up on the second ring. “Hi, baby. It’s so good to hear from you. How was your flight?”
“It went by really fast. I sat next to and talked with a woman who was sadly also travelling for a funeral, but for her college sweetheart. It made the hours seem like minutes.”
“That’s a strange coincidence. Was he very old?”
“No, he was only in his thirties. He was in a car accident. She and I had a lot in common.”
“Oh, I’m glad she made the flight go by quickly. How’s it going with your family?”
“Really good. It’s been too long since I’ve seen everyone. Aunt Donna is the only person on my dad’s side of the family I’ve kept in touch with.”
“Well, it will be a nice reunion.”
“Yes, it will. Hey, I have a weird question for you.”
“Fire away.”
“Do you think we all have a physical type that we gravitate toward? You know, certain hair color, eye color, things like that?”
“Most people probably have some preferences. I’m usually attracted to women with lighter hair and big brown eyes like you, my beauty.”
“Is that what Elizabeth looked like? Lighter hair and brown eyes?”
There was a long pause before Neil answered. “Where’s this coming from?”
“When I looked for a tissue today in your glove compartment, I found a photo album. I put it in my purse before getting out of the car, thinking it would be a comfort to have photos of you. I didn’t look at it until I was on the plane. The woman sitting next to me thought they were pictures of you and me.”
Neil was silent so she continued. “I have to say if I didn’t know better, I would think they were pictures of the two of us as well. But I’m pretty sure I’d remember going to Italy with you.”
Still, Neil said nothing.
“Obviously, Mac could see I looked like Elizabeth when he texted my picture to you,” she continued. “Could you tell on your phone I looked just like your wife?”
She decided to stop talking and wait for his response. He still said nothing. It seemed like an eternity before he spoke.
“Yes, in the photo Mac sent me I could tell you looked like Elizabeth,” he finally said.
“Is that the only reason you contacted me?”
“No, I was going to contact you anyway since I’d missed our meeting,” he said, sounding defla
ted.
“But seeing my photo gave you a sense of urgency to contact me?”
“Yes…I mean, no!”
“How much of you pursuing me is because I’m a ringer for Elizabeth? I need you to be honest about this, Neil.”
“At first, I was captivated because of your strong resemblance to her. But by the time we were on our third date, I realized I was crazy about you. It had nothing to do with her after that.”
Now it was her turn to be silent as she processed Neil’s admission.
“Kate, I’m in love with you. I don’t want you because you look like Elizabeth, but because you’re an amazing woman. Please tell me you believe me.”
“I don’t know what to believe right now. I need some time to think about all of this.”
“Kate, please believe me,” Neil pleaded.
“Neil, how would you feel if you looked just like David? Wouldn’t you feel kind of weird about it, particularly if I had pursued you as you did me? Wouldn’t you wonder if I was with you because I couldn’t be with him?” Kate could hear the sharpness in her own voice.
Neil was quiet again. “I guess I would,” he finally said. “But, Kate, I love you. You’re not a carbon copy of Elizabeth. You have your own unique traits that I adore.” Neil sounded wounded, piercing Kate’s heart. She wanted to believe him more than anything, but she didn’t want to be naive.
“I know you believe that, but I’m not sure what’s going on in your subconscious. I need some time to digest this.”
“You’re not breaking up with me, are you?”
“No, I’m not breaking up with you.”
“But that’s a possible outcome, isn’t it?”
She thought for a long moment. “I don’t know, Neil. I guess it is. I don’t know what to think or how to feel right now.” Kate teared up, but mustered the strength to stop them from flowing.
“What can I do to make this better, baby?”
“You can give me the space I’m asking for. I think it would be best if we don’t talk for the next few days. I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk.”
Taken by You (Killer Next Door #2) Page 7
