by E. M. Gayle
That fateful night had introduced me to a whole new world. Something I’d never even known existed. I mean sure, I peripherally knew people had kinky sex lives. But it’s a whole lot different to think you know about it then to actually experience it up close and personal.
No amount of ‘knowing’ can make up for that first moment when you give yourself to someone else in a way that defies everything you’ve ever been taught because it feels right down to your core.
I sighed, pushing the memories from my mind.
Revisiting the past did nothing but make me feel sad and it absolutely did nothing to explain why someone would send something like this to me. This was an intimate gift. For a lover. Not a stranger.
He’d been a stranger back then too…
I rolled my eyes. I really had to get this out of my head. I was not into repeating my old mistakes anymore. The point of growing up was to move forward not backward.
“Well, whoever this is from, he somehow knew just the perfect gift to send. That visit got your head thinking about that party from college didn’t it?”
I ignored Zia’s insight into my mind and hastily rewrapped the paper around the crop and shut the lid on the box. “It doesn’t matter, I’m not going.”
“What? Oh yes you are. You’ve talked almost non-stop about that club for the past week. You aren’t seeing anyone. Haven’t seen anyone as long as I’ve known you, in fact. Plus the kitchen will be closed by six tonight. Seriously, you have no excuse.”
“How about the fact I don’t have the first clue who this guy is? He could be a freak for
all I know. Or dangerous. I’m not that young or stupid anymore.”
Zia rolled her eyes. “Give me a break. The Kat club is the most exclusive in Manhattan and you have to be nearly as rich as God to even belong there. Not to mention the strict rules.”
“Money doesn’t mean you’re sane and that kind of control isn’t something to be trifled with.” I tried not to burst into tears despite the need clawing inside me. That visit had touched something buried deep. A place I didn’t think I should open again because it hurt too much when it went unfulfilled.
“Harper, listen to yourself. You have an excuse for everything.” Zia held up her hand to stop me from objecting. “Uh huh. Not this time, doll. You’re my best friend and as said best friend it’s my duty to make sure you don’t wallow in your pathetic non-existent love life for another day. You’re going to go home early, change into that beautiful red dress I gave you for Christmas, which you have yet to wear so don’t think I didn’t notice, and you’re going to meet this mystery man right on time as instructed.”
“It’s a terrible idea. What if it’s not safe?” I almost had to hold back my bark of laughter over that one. Safety was an illusion. I’d married it once. And that had turned into the worst kind of disaster. I should have learned after that experience that safe was too overrated for me.
That didn’t make me brave, but hopefully it made me smarter.
These days I ventured out of my new comfort zone in business, not in my personal life. I ran a successful kitchen for Zia and recently added private catering to my repertoire. Taking on that venture in this city felt like more than enough risk in my life. Which meant taking on more risk for something like sex seemed almost trivial at this point.
“It’s a club with a stringent reputation. You won’t exactly be alone. They have cameras all over that place.”
“Yeah, that’s a problem too. What if someone I know sees me?”
“Seriously? Who cares? No one. That’s who. Plus, you know darn well you can leave at any time. No one’s going to lock you up and throw away the key.”
I had my doubts about anyone watching me too closely. It had been a long time since I’d run, but I couldn’t afford to be complacent. Could I?
“But I—”
“Nope.” Zia shook her head. “No more excuses. You’ve been in denial for far too long. And while I’m thrilled you got your head out of your ass over that husband of yours, you aren’t faring much better as a single woman. You’ve got needs. Hell, we all do. No one’s asking you to settle down and have babies for Christ’s sake. It’s a date and hopefully some damned good sex. When was the last time you had that?”
I wasn’t going to answer that. The truth would only feed Zia’s little plan for me she had going in her head. Pretty soon she’d probably start calling it Operation Get Harper Laid. That thought made me groan.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. So stop making excuses. In fact… I have an idea.”
Uh oh. Zia with an idea was a surefire recipe for trouble. The last time she’d had one of those, I’d ended up walking rescue dogs in the park, which was supposed to be a great way to get men to talk to me and only ended up with me picking up dog crap the size of my arm from the monsters she called dogs that really looked like small horses. No thanks.
“I dare you, Harper. No, scratch that. I double-dog dare you to go.”
Aww shit. No she didn’t. Game. Set. Match. I hadn’t even known I was in the game and she’d lobbed me with my personal kryptonite.
Chapter Three
Harper
I stood outside the Glass Kat and stared at the front door. I’d had all the time and opportunity in the world to change my mind. When I went home to change I could have deserted this mess of an idea. Or on the train ride uptown I could have gone anywhere my heart desired. Or even when I got off the train, I could have gone left instead of right and spent the evening at my favorite hole in the wall with a beer and a slice to keep me company.
Instead I stood here, my heart beating a rapid staccato in my chest, far above its normal rate. Fortunately, between the bulky coat and gloves no one would notice the trembling in my arms or hands. That at least remained my personal humiliation.
Screw it. I deserved some fun, right? Why should I stand outside and act like I don’t deserve one night of fun?
With one last breath to steel my nerves I pushed my way through the revolving door and into the small luxurious lobby of one of the most elegant establishments I’d had the privilege to step into. With no other people lingering in the entry I crossed to the front desk, my heels clicking on the marble floors like a ticking time bomb to a fate I hoped wouldn’t be a disaster. The trim middle-aged man at the concierge desk stepped out from behind the counter to greet me.
“Good evening, mademoiselle. May I take your coat?” His smile and easy manner relaxed me a fraction as I pulled off my gloves and shoved them in my pockets. I began to shrug the coat from my shoulders and the kind man stepped behind me and helped me remove it.
A subtle waft of his cologne drifted to my nose, reminding me of the money that went into a place like this. However, despite all the opulence, I still knew that behind the elegant furnishings and decor lay in wait some of the most extreme sexual pleasures to be found anywhere in the city.
I’d heard the rumors, experienced a small thrill when I’d been here last week as an outside observer, and now I was poised to experience it for myself.
If I could go through with it.
During the cab ride over, I’d repeatedly reminded myself that I deserved a night of pleasure. A one-night stand if you will, might be just the thing I needed to get my head back into the game of dating. God knows, my libido certainly agreed with that chain of thought. Having gone more than a year and a half without sex did strange things to my mind.
When the concierge disappeared into the walk-in closet, I smoothed down the front of my new dress. I had to admit that I liked the way the luxurious red silk caressed my body in all the right places even if the length stopped shockingly high. What had Zia been thinking when she’d purchased this? Fortunately the black tassel fringe rimming the bottom of the dress gave an illusion of another two inches of coverage to almost mid-thigh. Hopefully that made my not so slender thighs less noticeable.
It wasn’t easy in my line of work to stay on a diet. But I did my best and I got a lot of exerci
se walking nearly everywhere I went. Not needing a car was one of my favorite things about the city. Walking helped, but it wasn’t some sort of miracle cure. Some bodies just weren’t meant to be stick thin. Some of us were born to be curvy no matter what we did.
“Can I get your name, please?” The concierge had returned to his station behind the desk while I’d been single mindedly focusing on the state of my dress.
“Yes,” I cleared my throat. “Harper Allison.”
“Ah, yes, Ms. Allison. I’ve been expecting you. I have your evening’s itinerary all set, however there are a few electronic forms for you to look over before you can be escorted to the private areas of the club.”
“Great. Can you tell me who I will be meeting?”
The concierge lifted his brow and frowned. “I’m afraid that is not part of the instructions I’ve been given.” He handed me a leather portfolio. “If you’ll read through this and then sign where indicated, you’ll be all set.”
It was my turn to frown. Not part of the instructions? Apparently my mystery date for the evening was going to play this out all the way to the end. I reluctantly accepted the folder and headed for one of the plush chairs in the corner where I could read through whatever my anonymous date had in store for me.
I opened the crisp cover and found an electronic tablet inside. With the swipe of my finger, the screen lit up and I read through the brief document. Unfortunately, I saw nothing specific to me or what I might expect. Instead I read what looked like boilerplate language detailing the rules of the club and all that entailed.
There were however, specific details about the safety precautions and screenings required of members along with notations regarding guests. Members were limited to a certain number of guests per year and while I was here I was to choose a safeword that could be uttered or signaled in any or all rooms of the club. These safeguards were in place to ensure a discreet and pleasurable experience for all members and guests alike.
I took this as a gentle reminder that every room would be monitored in some way. I would be protected, but it also wouldn’t be exactly private.
I took my time and reread the safety information and rules three times, ensuring I understood every word. I’d taken a pretty big leap by coming here to meet a stranger but it didn’t mean I’d go in uneducated.
Fortunately for me, it seemed the Glass Kat Supper Club took their patrons discretion and safety very seriously with attention to detail and some pretty high standards. After some of the dives I’d seen years ago when I’d first explored my darker desires, this was a nice change. It was amazing what money could buy even when it came to sexual deviance.
At the end of the document I scribbled in my safeword and signed my full name with the plastic wand provided. I then walked back to the desk and handed the portfolio back to the concierge.
“Do you have any questions?”
“Only the one.” I reminded him.
He nodded his head. “I’ll escort you to the dining room then.” He stepped in front of me and waved to indicate I was to follow him down the corridor.
The opulence surrounding us was not lost on me as we walked. The place smelled so expensive the walls might as well have been papered with money. And I wondered if the gold fixtures were actually made with real gold. It sounded ridiculous, but nothing would surprise me at this point. Rich people spent their money on the strangest things.
When they passed the dining room I’d worked the other night I hesitated. “Aren’t we…”
He turned and followed the direction of my gaze before shaking his head. “No, there is a smaller dining area you’ll be occupying this evening. But don’t worry. We are full service in any of our rooms so it’s fully staffed and anything you can think of is available for the asking.”
“Uh huh. Except for the name of the man I am meeting.”
The concierge ignored my statement and continued toward the end of the hall. The sudden eerie silence surrounding me made me stop and think. We’d passed several doors as well as a bank of elevators and had yet to hear a sound not of our own making. I moved closer to one of the doors and placed my ear against it, listening.
Nothing.
A fresh sliver of fear worked over me. Despite the appearance of money and safety, doubts crept into my mind. Dare or not, coming here had been a pretty impulsive decision. Yet, the idea of getting my life back on track in the direction of my choosing appealed more than I’d expected.
It was time to put the last of my past behind me.
And it had been so long since a man had touched me in anything but a functional way. My husband had forced me to set aside many of my basic needs so that I could be the perfect preacher’s wife. His interest had been purely about having children as soon as possible. Especially sons. I thanked God every day for not getting pregnant. A child in the midst of that nightmare would not have been a blessing.
Now I had a chance to start over—with my rules. Or at least my expectations. One day hopefully, I would not be the one making all the rules.
I covered my mouth to stifle my smile. I needed to not get ahead of myself. This was only about one night and it was essential to keep that in mind.
“Every room is soundproofed, Harper.” I jumped at the unfamiliar deep voice directly behind me and whirled to face the stranger.
The rugged face behind me took me by surprise, but it was the immediate pull in my core that genuinely shocked me. Piercing blue eyes stared back at me, halting my breath. The expression in them gave me the sense that he understood what I was feeling. As if maybe he was too.
Thick, dark hair surrounded his face. A strong jaw, slightly crooked nose and a chin covered with the distinct growth of a five o’clock shadow all combined to scream this was a man in complete control of everything louder than I’d ever heard.
He was good-looking but not handsome. In fact, the first word that popped into my head was strong. A thought that sent chills racing up and down my spine.
But it was his full mouth that really caught my attention. The slight curve of a half-smile threatened to melt me into a puddle of goo, right there on the very expensive floor. It was almost as if that expression held a decadent promise I dared not believe in.
“I—uh—” I couldn’t begin to think straight with him staring at me like I’d just become the main course at an all-you-can-eat buffet. I found his gaze so unsettling, I had half a mind to look down and see if somehow I’d lost all of my clothes. I suddenly felt that naked in front of him.
“You’re late.” He did not sound angry nor did he pose it as a question so I simply took that as a cue and bowed my head in acknowledgment.
Even though I had a legitimate work reason for being tardy, I’d never been one to make excuses for anything. Plus, If I was going to do this I wanted to do it all in. If I could.
“Where is your rose?”
I cringed at his question. So much for all in. I’d debated all day long how to handle this. At the last minute I’d decided not to bring it with me as minor means of safety and now I regretted it. “I didn’t know what to do. I don’t know you.”
“That’s a shame really. I had such plans for you and your rose this evening. If we choose to proceed then you’ll have to be punished for that later.” He must have noticed the way my face fell at his words. He cupped my chin and forced me to once again meet his gaze. “I do however, find you quite brave for coming here tonight. I am not disappointed.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, my gaze shuttering closed for a moment of deference. I don’t know why I felt that necessary, but there was something in the tone he spoke to me with that I reacted to.
He stepped closer, filling my personal space with his broad body. He towered nearly a foot over my own five-four frame, which secretly thrilled me. I loved tall men.
“I couldn’t help but notice you here last week. The way you reacted to the different scenes taking place at the collaring ceremony. I suspected then you weren’t unfamiliar wit
h the lifestyle. I was right, wasn’t I?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“In fact, I noticed quite a bit about you while you watched. Like for example, you seemed particularly interested in the ménage play the newly collared sub was engaged in. You liked that too.”
My eyes grew wide and my stomach trembled as the scene he described filled my memory. The gorgeous sub on her hands and knees begging for both men to take their pleasure had resonated deep. And this man--he’d seen so much.
“You didn’t know anyone watched you as closely as you watched them, did you?”
I shook my head. Horrified that I’d been so easy to read.
“Don’t worry. It’s a very common fantasy. And one easily fulfilled at the Glass Kat. The question is… What are you willing to be—willing to do—to meet those longings I spied on your face that day?”
I swallowed thickly. Staring into this man’s face and listening to his deep commanding tone made me want to drop to my knees and offer myself up for his pleasure right now. Not my usual M.O. by any means, but in this day and age what did it matter? I was free to do whatever I wanted. Which meant in my mind the question became what wouldn’t I do?
“I don’t know what to say.” And it was true. The more he talked the further I got from my comfort zone. It was one thing to think about fantasies and another thing entirely to voice them.
Especially to a stranger, no matter how dirty and delicious he looked right now.
His lips curved into that delectable half smile again. My mind immediately imagined his lush mouth traversing every inch of my naked form. “Have you seen enough of the Kat to believe you are safe here?”
I mulled his question through my mind. Safe. That’s not exactly what I’d been thinking. Ravished maybe. Apparently this is what happened when you deprived yourself of sex for such a long time. I’d agree to just about anything. Sanity managed to penetrate my brain and I considered what little I knew. I’d created a safeword, but no negotiations beyond that had occurred.
