by E. M. Gayle
Another deep sigh escaped me. The luxury of the tub was heavenly but what I really needed was another heart to heart with Alex. We’d skirted the issue with his family, but he’d opened up to me more than he ever had in the past. Then he’d gone and confessed he loved me and I couldn’t see beyond the probability that he knew I was pregnant.
Frustrated, I hauled myself from the deep tub, grabbed a towel, wiped dry and stalked to the stupid box on the counter. Enough already.
This time stage fright did not stop me and afterward I laid the stick back on the counter and checked the clock. The instructions said to wait five full minutes. I drummed my fingers along the cool granite and watched thirty seconds go by impossibly slow. Five minutes was going to kill me. Maybe if I went and scavenged for some kind of clothing to wear it would go by faster.
I stepped into the bedroom and immediately noticed the items laid out for me on the bed. A long, filmy white sundress and a small square box sat waiting for me along with a note.
A smile tilted my lips as I picked it up and began to read the familiar scrawl.
Harper my love,
I have provided everything here that you will need for tonight. Prepare quickly and then proceed to the dock. I eagerly await your arrival.
Alex
I traced my finger over his name and fought back the bittersweet emotions threatening me. He sometimes wrote me notes such as this with his instructions and I’d savored each and every one. As I would again with this one. I folded the paper neatly and tucked it into my purse, now sitting on the nightstand. I then turned to the small box and lifted the lid.
Inside, wrapped in bold blue tissue, I found a stout silver anal plug with a gorgeous clear crystal embedded in the end. I rolled my eyes. Some women got earrings, I got butt jewelry.
Still curious, I lifted it from the box and examined it closer. What the toy lacked in length it more than made up in thickness. I’d feel every inch of it when it went in and it would keep my mind occupied while I wore it. Alex had never kept his love of toys a secret. Between the rose crop I received for Valentine’s Day and the different cuffs he used to restrain me, I more than got the picture that he liked to experiment and play. This new gift kind of felt like a promise of many more to come. His creativity knew no bounds.
Some of the fear I’d been harboring dissipated a fraction. My Master had a knack for knowing exactly how and when I needed his grounding. The simple ritual of preparing for dinner at his explicit instructions with his chosen garments had a profound way of calming my mind and giving me the confidence to continue our earlier conversation over a meal.
Anxious now to see what Alex was up to I quickly finished getting ready. I stopped in front of the mirror and stared at my reflection. My mouth gaped open. With the sun-kissed glow of my skin from our afternoon on the beach, the dress Alex had chosen for me complimented my coloring perfectly. It made me think of an odd mix of innocence and seduction. Not to mention the dress fit my figure perfectly. The snug halter cupped and supported my breasts while the skirt skimmed along my full hips instead of clinging to them.
I also couldn’t deny the fabric felt divine against my sensitized body and I’d never felt more beautiful or seductive in my life. Is this what pregnancy did to a woman?
That sobering thought brought my mind back to the fact the test still waited for me in the bathroom. I’d give it a quick peek and then I’d head out to the beach for my rendezvous with Alex.
Chapter 21
Harper
I stepped out onto the long wooden dock that wound across the water’s edge to a secret spot shrouded from my vision by a clump of trees. The giant orange orb of the sun was already sinking behind the horizon. I’d taken longer to compose myself than I’d thought. But the last thing I needed was to show up for dinner with red, puffy eyes from crying.
Alex and his all-knowing gaze would see right through me and the rapid-fire questions would begin. God. Part of me wished I’d never taken that stupid fucking test. I’d foolishly thought the hard part was the not knowing for sure. I’d been wrong.
As more of the sunlight faded, small solar lights began lighting the path before me. In any other moment in time I might have found all of this incredibly romantic. Just the two of us alone on a tropical island… Instead my nerves fluttered wildly as I took one step after another toward Alex. At the first curve of the dock the lighting changed. I found candles lighting my way and—
Was that—?
I bent and plucked a small red petal from the ground. My heart clenched. My man had gone all out for whatever he had planned. Sunset, candles and now a path of rose petals for me to follow. The urge to run swelled inside me. Except run where? We were on an isolated island with no one else around. I had no choice but to keep moving forward and face the reality of my fears.
At the last bend I straightened my spine and took one last calming breath before making that final step to the right. When I did, the first thing I noticed was Alex. Of course. He stood there waiting for me as if he’d known I would arrive any second. Dressed in black tailored slacks and a white button-down shirt he looked even more amazing to me than the first night I’d met him. He’d left the top buttons of his shirt unbuttoned and my gaze was drawn to the tanned patch of skin with its sprinkling of hair below his throat. My body clenched. It was my very favorite place to kiss.
I sucked in air and continued taking him in all the way to his bare feet. Like me he’d dressed impeccably and without shoes. I lifted my head to find him staring down at me with his mouth quirked in a slight grin and a deep five o’clock shadow that lent a dangerous quality to his look tonight.
“Do I meet your approval?” he asked.
“You’re gorgeous,” I replied, a little breathless.
He stepped forward and took my hand. “Thank you.” His eyes softened. “I hope you know how beautiful I find you.”
When a blush began to creep up my neck I turned my head to the side. “You have exquisite taste in clothing as usual, Mr. Woodman. I love my new dress.”
“A perfect gown for a perfect night.” He cupped my chin and lifted my head at the same time he stepped aside and I got my first glimpse behind him.
His friend Jeremy stood behind him in similar attire as Alex. Waiting.
Taken aback, I glanced between the two men. “Jeremy? What are you—” My gaze settled on Alex. Had he set up another night of the three of us without my knowledge? “What is he doing here?” I whispered.
At the sound of another person’s throat clearing I turned and took in the rest of the scene. There were literally hundreds of candles lighting the small space and a man I didn’t recognize stood not far from Jeremy in a black suit with his arms crossed in front of him holding a book. The message of his intent started to sink in when my eyes landed on the white collar at his neck.
I pulled my hand from Alex’s grasp and staggered back a step. “What the—?” I felt a sudden loss of balance as if the proverbial rug had been pulled from under me.
Alex smiled and got down on one knee in front of me. “I already told you how I feel about you. Now I need to make it official. Harper Allison, will you marry me?”
My mouth dropped open as my gaze flitted from one man to the next. Any words I might have said died behind the sudden lump in my throat. What? How? Why? Every question I’d ever had about Alex bombarded my mind all at once.
“I know it seems sudden.”
“Oh my God.” My hand covered my mouth as the realization of why this was happening finally dawned on me. “This is because of the baby.” I took another step away. “You knew all along, didn’t you? You went through my purse and found the test and now you think you have to marry me because of a pregnancy.”
I turned away, the horror of the truth slicing through my insides. I couldn’t face it anymore. More pain lanced through me at the loss of everything I’d ever wanted. He didn’t really love me. It had all been a ruse. The moment he’d seen the test in my purse he’d gon
e into action. The island, the sex, the talk. All designed to keep me around for the baby. Not me. The baby.
Black dots began to waver in front of my face as the horrible truth once again ripped me to shreds.
“Harper, what the hell are you talking about? What baby?”
I heard him speak, but the words made no sense. I had to get out of here. In what felt like slow motion, on shaky knees, I started back toward the house. There had to be somewhere to hide. Or a way to escape.
“Just leave me alone, Alex.”
“Stop!”
The very loud and sudden command gave him the desired effect. It stopped me cold. Frozen in place. In an instant his voice had turned dark and insistent. No way in hell could I not respond.
“Present to me. Now.” The chilled slice of his command engaged an almost autopilot response I’d held close to my heart for weeks. I turned to face him, dropped to my knees, placed my hands palms up on my thighs and cast my watery eyes to the ground.
“Gentlemen, leave us. It looks like we aren’t quite ready for this. As previously arranged, my pilot will take you back home. Thank you for coming at the last minute, however, my submissive and I need to be alone.”
“Alex, I don’t think—”
“Everything will be fine, Jeremy. I’m not going to hurt her. I love her. But obviously there has been a major communication breakdown that she and I need to work through. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
No further words were spoken. And there wouldn’t be. Every ounce of who he was came through loud and clear with every syllable he uttered. I listened to the telltale signs of both men shuffling past me and the sounds of their steps moving down the dock until the air around us grew quiet and we were once again alone.
“Alex, I’m—”
“Did I ask you a question yet? Did I give you permission to speak?”
I felt the anger in his voice clear to my bones, but it was the bleak thread of something else underlying his words that tore at my heart. He stood quiet and motionless in front of me with only the sound of his breathing punctuating the silence stretched between us.
I stared at his feet and waited as the seconds turned to minutes and my knees began to ache from the wooden deck digging into my flesh. I welcomed the pain. It served as my reminder of how screwed up things had gotten and it was the only thing that kept my tears at bay. The situation between us had spiraled out of control and I had no idea what came next.
“Can you stand and talk to me without running away?” His quiet question came out so differently than I expected. It was as if the anger had disappeared and all he had left was sadness. It shattered my heart to hear him like that.
Yet, I still had to suppress the childish need to ignore him. I took a deep calming breath and blew it out slowly until I could answer without sarcasm. “Yes, Sir.”
He gently grabbed my forearm and helped me to a standing position. “Look at me.”
Despite my trepidation in facing him, I obeyed only to discover the pain from his voice echoed across his beautiful face.
“You’re pregnant and didn’t tell me? What the hell, Harper? First a break-up and now this? Fuck. What is happening?”
“I thought you knew or guessed. You went through my purse and I just assumed you’d seen the test. And then I walk into this?” I gestured around me. “I mean why else would you spring a wedding on me?” A wedding. I was beginning to get my footing back and I didn’t like these kinds of head games any more than he did.
“Maybe because I love you and want you in my life permanently? Or because I thought it was a romantic gesture. Does that not even enter your mind a little?”
I shook my head. No, it couldn’t be that simple. I couldn’t be that wrong. Now I had to tell him the truth. “It’s not true. It was all a mistake.”
“You do not get to tell me that what I feel is a mistake,” he started.
I frantically shook my head. “No, that’s not what I meant. The baby. The pregnancy. I was certain I was pregnant, but I’m not. The missed period, the weight gain, the lack of sleep it meant nothing. I made a mistake.” There I’d said it out loud. All the pain and loss I’d felt the moment I looked down at the negative test result came rushing out. “I’m not pregnant.”
Chapter 22
Harper
I didn’t even realize I’d started crying until Alex pulled me in his arms and began wiping away the tears from my cheeks. I tried to contain the torrent of emotions and failed as I deteriorated into uncontrollable sobs. I hid my face in his shirt and lost it. The shred of hope I’d clung to for the last several days had left me and I didn’t know how to get it back. The idea of a child hadn’t once been a blip on my radar and then one tiny mistake made it feel like the loss of my entire world.
Once the tears stopped, the ache of loss intensified. For the first time in my life I couldn’t run and hide from my problems. Alex had trapped me on a tiny island with nowhere to run except to him.
“Dammit, Harper. Why didn’t you let me in? I should have known the minute you suspected.”
“I was afraid to find out for sure. After our last scene when you ignored my confession, I thought that was it. Our time had come to an end and I couldn’t hold a baby over your head. If you didn’t love me for me I had to accept that.”
He leaned back and gripped my chin. “First of all, I will blister your ass for that later. I hope you know that. Second, it was a setback and nothing more. Albeit a huge troublemaker for us. We really can’t do this again. You know as well as I do how important communication is in a relationship like ours. Although in this case I’m just as guilty as you in not holding up my end of the conversation. My idea to fall back and come up with the perfect strategy may serve me well in my business but is apparently not the right approach with my woman.”
“You think?” I couldn’t help it. After weeks of worrying it wasn’t easy to shrug it all off as one big misunderstanding.
“Now you’re just trying to get me hard again, you little minx.”
He scooped me into his arms and carried me to the end of the dock. Once there he sat us both down facing the water with me situated between his legs so I could rest my back against his chest. The sun had completely set but the sky still held enough of a glow for me to look out toward the horizon and enjoy the dim view. He was right, of course, about our lack of communication and my inability to sit still long enough to let him explain anything.
I didn’t know what to say so I continued to stare at the water, letting the sights and sounds of nature soothe the frazzled edges of my nerves. So far he’d made no move to exert his will over mine or to seduce me into giving him what he wanted. That’s not at all how it worked between us. He told me what he wanted and then he waited for me to offer it.
Usually.
Here in the quiet with the only sounds made by nature, I could finally think back over the last several weeks and remember more of the little things he’d done that made me a part of him. The small touches that often kept us connected whenever we were together. Or the way he held me to his heart when we slept together. Or like now when we sat together looking out at the sky, although that was usually in front of a window looking down at the city that never went dark or quiet.
“It’s gorgeous here.”
“I like the quiet,” he admitted. “We don’t get a lot of that in the city.”
His fingers threaded through my hair and I melted into him. How in the hell could we get past this mess? “For what little its worth now, I’m really sorry.”
“What, kitten? What are you sorry for?”
I drew my brows together and frowned. The man just never accepted the easy answer. So, what was I sorry for?
That he’d snooped through my purse and jumped to conclusions like I had? Not really. You go through a woman’s purse you get what you deserve. I stifled a giggle over that one before he made me confess that out loud. I had a feeling my punishment time had racked up so high I’d never see my lily white rea
r again. No need to make things worse.
“I’m sorry I put you on the spot that night during our scene. It wasn’t my intention, it just happened. The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them.”
“Is that what you’ve been doing all along? Holding your words? Hiding the truth because you were too afraid to be honest?”
I squirmed in his lap. “I wouldn’t call it hiding. More like biding my time while waiting for the right moment.”
He wrapped his fingers around my hair and tugged my head to the side, making my scalp erupt in a series of tingles. “And you don’t think naked and wet with my dick in your pussy the right moment? No, wait, don’t answer that. Just listen. A big part of why I love being in this relationship with you is specifically because I need to see that vulnerability. A woman is never more open than when her mind and body are in tune to her Master’s desire to give her pleasure. If I wanted you to hold back from me, we’d be playing a game of fucking chess. Ours is an intense and wildly sexual relationship and I think we both understood that some level of feelings and attachments would form over time. Although at the time we might not have admitted it. Even so, your honest admission caught me off guard and I needed some time to work through my feelings about the changes I knew were coming. Namely, you becoming a more permanent part of my life meant that I couldn’t keep you hidden forever. I’d have to expose you to some of the ugly parts and, dammit, I was right. If anything had happened to you when Viktor’s men took you, my world would have gotten a whole lot darker.”
Torn by the desire to comfort him and the need to protect my heart, I still turned toward him and touched his cheek. “I’m not made of glass and in some things I do not need your protection. Don’t you see? If you can’t trust me to handle the bad with the good, then what kind of relationship can we ever have? I may be your submissive but as a wife I would be your equal and I don’t think you’re ready for that.”
