by G Lawrence
“Our father encouraged me to it,” I assured her. “Fear not, father knows… He told me to persuade Percy to enter into an engagement.” I raised my eyebrows and flashed my black eyes at her. “Father said to me that by any means necessary should be sufficient.”
Mary looked at me and smiled a somewhat sad smile, although not so much for my news. She, too, understood the nature of our father. “That is what he said to me when the King first became interested in me,” she said. “It was not what he said when François was interested though… Do you remember?” Her eyes trailed away, seeing the past, just as I did… Seeing her fly across that room and hit the fireplace… Seeing the look of disgust in our father’s eyes as he looked down on us both, calling his daughters whores and liars.
“He is a courtier,” I shook my head, seeing the look on Mary’s face. “He does what he does to advance his family, as do we.”
“Sometimes I should like to do some things that are just for myself and my own pleasure,” she said ruefully.
“Your place in the King’s bed is not unpleasant?” I asked. “Surely not?”
She sighed. “No, he is a kind and generous lover and I get pleasure from him… I do not find it unpleasant, no.” She paused. “But I am less a lover to the King as I am… a convenience. He is a complicated man and he enjoys many things; I am one of those things. I know well how to please men and I know how to last long in the King’s bed. I know how to be everything he wants me to be and nothing more. I will be the whore he wants when he comes home restless from hunting, and I will be the romantic lady he needs when he wishes to write poetry. I am soft and gentle and demand nothing. I am his perfect lady, because I do nothing to upset him or unnerve him. I agree with all he says and does. That is my place, as his mistress.”
She looked at me and shook her head. “But I feel that I am less and less in this affair. I am there physically, but I am not there in truth. I am not whole when I am with him. I am not me. I am only what he wants of me. I derive pleasure from our encounters and I feel desire for him, yes Anne, but he does not in truth want me, only the convenience of this illusion I have designed for him. It is a winning mixture and it will keep me in his bed for longer than most, I think,” she looked at me. “But it is not love, Anne. That I know, and that is where I envy you and the look you have on your face. For I, who have known many men, have not known love. Not even for my husband, although he is a good man and I respect him. For love to happen, they would have to want me as I am, not only the parts of me they wish to see. And I feel that you, who know nothing of men in one way, have found a way to that which I desire most.” She shook herself and smiled sadly at me. In her own way Mary was as much a consummate courtier as George, my father or I. She wore a mask, and played a role, as we all did. I wondered on her words for a moment. So often had I felt jealousy for Mary that I could barely conceive she might feel the same for me. Perhaps it is the same for all sisters, or all people; that we always want that which we do not have.
“Come,” she said, taking my hands and shaking them as she smiled at me. “This is no way to behave! My sister is to be the Countess of Northumberland! This is a time for celebration!” She released me and poured a measure of wine into a goblet, handing it to me. “To the Lady Anne of Northumberland!” she whispered with glee. “May you find all the happiness you desire with your new noble station, and stallion!”
And with a flushed face and her words ringing in my ears, I drank to the marriage that, in a very short time, was to be no more.
Chapter Fifteen
Greenwich Palace
1523
One afternoon, perhaps a month later, Percy found me in the gardens with a group of courtiers including Tom and my brother and sister. It had been many days since I had seen him, and I was beginning to wonder what duties in the Cardinals’ household at York Palace were keeping him from court.
It was a glorious afternoon and the gardens were filled with the scent of rosemary and lavender. At the sides of the ponds, and near to the river, willow trees hung over the waters, their silver-green long pointed leaves dancing in the wind. A light, balmy breeze was blowing, and we sat in the welcome shade of some trees, reading over poetry that George and Tom had composed and rolling in our hands the lemon-scented wood sorrel that grew in little clumps in the shade. The summer roses had started to show their heads in delicate blooms of red, pink, and white, and as they danced in the little breeze, I thought of my mother. The sight of roses always reminded me of her. She was not at court much that year as a bout of ill health had caused her to return to Hever to take the healthier air of the countryside and recover in peace away from court. It was always when I could not see her face that I longed the most for her presence. When she was by my side I could barely see her through the throng and noise of the court, but when she was not there I could clearly see and feel the gap left by her presence. It is often the way, that when we love someone we feel their absence more keenly than we ever recognise our need for them when they are at our side.
When Percy came towards us, I was pleased and rose to meet him. Tom glowered, as he always did these days when Percy was near. Tom was bitter to see my affections for another man increase. Perhaps he wanted me to remain perpetually alone, because I could not be with him. Or perhaps he could see that my love for Percy was indeed real. For whichever reason, Tom was given to a dark face of jealousy when Percy came near. Tom often used his young rival as a subject for jests, which I liked not, and his spiteful japes hardly made me think better of him.
But then, that is often the way with the human creature, is it not? We become so blinded by jealousy that when it takes hold of us we cannot see that it is removing us still further from our goals with its malicious fingers. Had Tom been willing to put his feelings aside, had he been happy to see me make a good match for myself, then I might have thought him a greater man, I might have thought more of him. As it was, I by no means disliked Tom, but knowing that I could not give my heart or body to him, I could not allow myself to love him. But until he could stop loving me, there would always be a somewhat strained friendship between us. We had managed thus far by not returning to talk of it, but it was always there, unspoken, between us.
When Percy neared me, I could see that something was wrong. Across his handsome, boyish face there was a pale concern and there were lines of worry that should not have been there when a man meets his love.
“What is it?” I whispered, drawing him away from the throng. “What has happened?”
He looked up, as though to seek guidance from God for what he was going to say. “I… I sought the Cardinal’s help in asking for my father’s permission to marry you… as we talked of. I told him that you and I were engaged.” He coughed and looked about himself nervously, his eyes only daring to dart to my face. “I told Wolsey that we intended to marry as soon as we were able.” His voice wavered slightly as though he were terribly afraid.
The insecurity in his voice was unsettling; it made me afraid, and impatient in my fear. I wanted him to say something that would stay the growing fears of my heart. I sought to look into his eyes, but he kept moving them from mine. I stamped my little foot with sudden anger at him. “And what?” I cried loudly. “What happened?”
He looked at me now with concern and worry. He feared my anger and frustration. This made me angrier still, frustrated at this weakness I had never truly noted in him before. I grabbed his hands; they were cold to the touch. “What happened?” I shouted, almost shaking him.
At that, both Mary and George were suddenly at my side with Tom in tow. I could see Margaret and Bridget looking on from where they still sat in the shade of the trees with worried faces. Percy looked intimidated. I stared at him, wondering on the foolish look on his face. Until that moment I had never realised how much of a boy he really was, and right now, it did not seem as attractive as it had done before. The tone of Percy’s voice was causing fear to pump like blood through my heart. What was going on? Why was
he so afraid?
“The Cardinal went silent,” Percy said, “and he sent me from his chambers. He called for me the next day… and in front of many other servants, he began to admonish me for my words. He said that there could be no such marriage between myself and the younger daughter of the Boleyns, as I was already engaged and that engagement was approved by the King. He told me, or reminded me, that nobility does not have the luxury to marry where it wishes, that marriage for love is a fool’s wish, and that I and my father are vassals to the King and must do his will, not my own.”
He paused, swallowing hard at the furious look on my face. “I protested. I said that I was of an age to choose a bride myself, and spoke of your many virtues and your family’s standing within the court. I told the Cardinal of your descent from the Dukedom of Norfolk and the Earls of Ormond. I protested that the King honoured your family… But then, the Cardinal shouted at me. He shouted that you were nothing but a silly girl… that you were an unworthy match for a Percy. He said that he already knew of our plans… that the King knew of our plans to marry and was most displeased that I should think to go against his will. Wolsey said you were foolish and wanton to so over-reach your station and rank in life by seeking to marry me.” Percy’s voice was less hesitant now, but it was as weak as a dying lamb. “Wolsey told me that I should be ashamed of stooping so low as to seek to marry you. The Cardinal shouted that I would marry Lady Mary Talbot and be grateful that I still had a head on my shoulders after so displeasing the King.”
Percy looked at me. His face was almost grey and his hands shook. “Anne, it is over. I tried and I tried to placate the Cardinal, I told him that our promise to marry was known to many witnesses, that we had made promises to each other and the matter had gone so far as to be irremovable… but he only became more furious. Wolsey has sent for my father and he is come to court. I am ordered go and face him. I have only a moment spare to come and tell you this for I am called to my father’s apartments even now. No doubt the Cardinal has told him everything. Wolsey said to me that my father would order the match with Mary Talbot to go ahead, and that I would marry her, or face being disinherited and cast off. The King disapproves of our match and is most displeased that we attempted to become married without his approval or consent. I am to be banished from court. The Cardinal ordered me to send you to him, and your father wishes to see you afterwards.”
He swallowed. His hands were shaking. “It is over, Anne,” he said again and my heart dropped even as my eyes filled with tears.
“No!” I shouted, making him start and stare at me in horror. “No, it is not so! Come… We will go away, you and me… We will find a willing priest and we will be married now, this day, and none can tear us apart then! Come, fly with me and we shall be man and wife as we were meant to be. Hang the kings and cardinals of this world! What are they to us?”
“Anne!” exclaimed my brother, sister and Percy all at the same time. They all looked about them as though they feared my words would bring the great rage of the King down upon our heads. But I cared not. I was staring at Percy with desperation in my eyes. Tom was the only one who seemed unafraid. He looked as though he thought my idea was the right one.
“If it were me, Percy,” Tom said slowly, with pain in his eyes. “I would follow the lady.”
I looked at Tom with wild and grateful eyes full of tears as I held on to Percy’s hand, pleading with him to run with me. Percy swallowed on a dry throat, ignoring Tom; he looked at the floor near my feet. He could not even look me in the eyes. “No. You do not know what you are saying, Anne. We cannot, there would be nothing for us anywhere. The King would have us thrown in the Tower, or worse. My father would disinherit me… We would have nothing.”
“We would be man and wife… as we were meant to be!” I wept, half mad with grief and half with frustration. “That cannot be nothing to you?” I hesitated and looked into his face, searching for answers and with a dreadful fear in my heart. “You do not…” I stuttered as I thought I saw a doubt in his face as he looked on me. “You do not believe what the Cardinal has spoken about me? That I am not worthy of you?”
He did not answer the question, but said instead, “it may be that I can persuade my father to relent and he can talk to the King. The only objection can be that we planned in secret to marry, and that can be apologised for… and then perhaps we can be together...” He smiled, weakly, and I did not believe him. “We shall be together anon,” he said. I knew in that moment that he was lying. I knew in that moment that he was trying to placate me, trying to run from this situation. He was a coward. He would not fight for me, or for love. He would hide in the bushes like an infant doe shivering for fear of the hunter.
I released his hands; mine dropped to my side and watched him walk away from me, hurrying towards his father’s chambers. I felt Mary’s hand upon my shoulder and I turned towards her with a heavy heart. “Wait, Anne,” Mary consoled gently. “It may still turn out well.”
But I watched Percy trotting like a lamb towards his father’s rooms and I knew then with perfect clarity that even if he was given the chance, he would not fight for me. He was too scared; too scared of his father, too scared of the Cardinal, of the King… of losing his inheritance. He was not strong enough to face their displeasure. Indeed, who was?
“No,” I whispered slowly, the tears drying on my cheeks as I felt an icy coldness spread from the hole Percy had left in my heart. “No, it is over. He will not fight for me.”
I turned from them and walked as though in a dream towards the Cardinal’s apartments to face my own fate. Behind me, I could hear Tom and George talking quietly to Bridget and Margaret, no doubt telling them what had happened. I felt as though my heart had become a block of stone. Mary scuttled to my side, taking her hand in mine. I could barely feel its warmth beneath the coldness that had washed over me.
Chapter Sixteen
Greenwich Palace
1523
I stood outside the Cardinal’s apartments with Mary for a long time. The Cardinal sought to make me realise how unimportant I was by making me wait upon him. Finally, I was called in. Wolsey sat behind a great desk, surrounded as always by the affairs of state on papers that covered his desk. As Mary and I entered, he raised his head and motioned to her as though swatting at a fly, rather than speaking to the King’s mistress. “You were not called, Mistress Carey,” he said. “If I were you I would not seek to be aligned with one who has incurred the King’s displeasure in such a fashion.”
Mary looked helplessly at me and then curtseyed to the Cardinal, turned and left. I stood alone, apart from the Cardinal’s servants, who stood near the walls wearing grave expressions like their master. In that moment, I hated them all. Hated their long faces and their disapproving eyes. But most of all, I hated the Cardinal who sat before me, exuding an air of superiority and virtue. Who was this man to look so upon me? A man of the Church who had a mistress and at least one bastard son? This man was to be the judge of my morals and virtue?
“The plans that you have made to marry the heir of Northumberland were arrogant, immoral and presumptuous, Mistress Boleyn,” he said slowly, not looking at me; continuing instead to read the papers before him as though I was of little importance. “You are banished from the court by the King’s order and are not to return unless summoned. You have acted wantonly, immodestly and rashly. The King does not welcome women such as you into his court. Your family is too low-born to be considered a match for the Percys and you have shamed both yourself and the Boleyn name in attempting to seduce and cajole a foolish young man into such a disadvantageous match for him.”
He looked up, his fat face stern and unmoving, but under the mask he wore I got the impression he was enjoying this. “You are nothing but a low-born slattern in truth; a silly, devious girl who sought to entrap a noble heir with wanton tricks and wicked ways.” He smiled, but there was no humour in it. “But of course,” he mused slowly, “your family must be so proud… to see you fo
llowing in the steps of your sister. And I have heard tales of your mother too, when she was a young woman at court. Bad blood breeds true enough, so they say.”
I swallowed, my face flaming and my temper barely under control. “I am no whore, my Lord Chancellor,” I said calmly, though my heart was pounding with rage. My anger pressed my lips to speak on, without thinking. “And my blood is more noble than you can claim.”
“How dare you speak so to me?” he shouted, rising from his chair and flinging the papers from his desk into disarray all over the floor. “You are banished from court, you are not to return. You have incurred both my displeasure and that of the King. That Percy dotard you have tried to trap will marry where he is told to, to a lady worthy of his title and his blood. Get out of my sight, and think yourself fortunate that the King has not thrown the both of you in the Tower for your treason and arrogance!”
I bowed stiffly to the Cardinal, and left, my face flaming and everything in my blood crying for retribution. I had never felt anger as I did that day. The Cardinal had taken my family, my future, my past, my reputation and wiped his filthy feet all over them. I was banished from court, my reputation was stained and the love-match and happiness I thought to be mine was ruined.
