There was a faint fluttering inside and she put her hand protectively across her bump. Her baby was moving, letting her know that he or she was in there. How different her life would have been if she’d not got in the family way. She would still be in the WAAF, probably been promoted again, and would be an independent woman with nothing to worry about but herself.
Her lips curved. She didn’t regret anything. Things happened for a reason and she believed she was meant to be here helping in a different way. Going to church every Sunday had made her begin to think that there might be a God after all. If she hadn’t come to this village then she wouldn’t have met David and he’d become very important to her.
*
David slotted into his new position without difficulty. It might have been almost a decade since he’d worked in a casualty department but his knowledge and skills had remained. The Royal Free was now only using the ground-floor wards and those only for casualties of which there were a growing number.
Bombs dropping in the vicinity were a regular occurrence and everyone just carried on regardless of what was happening around them. He worked, sometimes for thirty-six hours, without sleep and had learned to catch thirty minutes in whatever corner he could find whenever he had a moment to himself.
He had digs nearby but was rarely there – he just returned to change clothes, wash and shave whenever he got the chance. Things couldn’t be more traumatic even on the frontline and he didn’t regret for one minute making this decision. Finally, he was doing something useful.
There’d been no time to form a liaison with a suitable young woman even if he’d wanted to. As soon as he’d left Chalfont Major he’d understood he was in love with Nancy – it wasn’t lust but love he felt for her. He’d decided that as Nancy wasn’t available, he’d remain celibate. The idea of a casual affair no longer appealed to him.
He’d deliberately not written to her although he’d started to write a couple of times before things got too busy. Better that the connection was severed completely as he doubted that he’d have the strength of will not to act on his feelings if he did see her again.
He was well aware that she was about to become an unmarried mother and that she might be tempted to accept his offer of marriage for the sake of her child. He’d be prepared to take her on any terms but it wouldn’t be fair. She deserved better than a marriage of convenience.
One morning a few weeks after he’d taken up his post a bomb dropped on the Church of Scotland, near the medical school, where a conference was being held. God knows why the clerics decided to meet there when the area was being bombed every day.
The seriously injured were being stretchered in and soon he was up to his elbows in blood and guts trying to save the lives of the unfortunate clergy who’d been caught in this attack. The consultant paediatrician, Ursula Shelley, had been dragged from her outpatients’ clinic with a couple of students in order to help. All medical staff were needed this morning.
There was a clergyman in bloodstained robes, his face plastered with dust, kneeling in the middle of the casualty department, getting in everybody’s way and praying like a maniac for God to save them.
Ursula tolerated this for a while and then stepped in. ‘Pray to God, man, but for God’s sake, pray quietly.’
This did the trick and he subsided into a defeated heap. A porter grabbed his arm and half-walked half-carried him out of the way.
Twelve hours later the last of the injured had been dealt with and the bodies of those who hadn’t survived had been taken to the morgue. He’d been working without food or drink for twelve hours. He was knackered – but so was everybody else.
He needed to pee, eat and sleep in that order. The night shift had taken over and he was free for a few hours at least. He stumbled into the canteen and after three mugs of tea and three sandwiches he had just about enough energy to drag himself to his digs.
When he pushed open the door to his room he stepped on an envelope that had been pushed through in his absence. He glanced down and recognised the writing. Nancy had written to him; seeing this letter lifted his spirits in a way nothing else could do. It had been a bloody horrible shift. Dozens had died from their injuries and even more had been killed outright in the blast.
He kicked the door shut and ripped the envelope open. It was a short letter but he was smiling by the end of it. She missed him – that’s all he wanted to know. He’d been holding back but now she’d instigated the reconnection he was free to move things forward.
Not bothering to remove even his shoes he flopped down on the bed, the letter still in his hand, and was instantly asleep.
14
Nancy had posted all three letters on her way to work two days ago but didn’t expect any replies for a while. Officially she didn’t have to be there until seven thirty but was always there before seven. It was dark, the air icy and the puddles crunched under her feet. She’d been lucky to find some sturdy boots, almost as good as new, for the winter when she’d gone into Chelmsford to pay the bills at the end of last month.
She was about to take the path around to the back but noticed the front door was ajar. At first, she was merely puzzled but then her stomach turned. The only person who used the front door and left it open was Violet. She rushed in expecting to find Polly in the kitchen on her bed but she wasn’t there.
This confirmed her worst fears. The dog would only be out if she’d followed Violet. Before she panicked unnecessarily, she tore upstairs and into the back bedroom. The blackouts were still drawn so she put on the light.
Her hands clenched. The bed was neatly made as if no one had slept in it but it had been occupied when she’d left work last night. The clothes that she’d left on the chair were gone so at least Violet was dressed.
On opening the wardrobe she discovered this was empty – the suitcase that had been on the shelf was gone. The constriction in her throat eased a little. This wasn’t a random wandering into the darkness without thought, but a planned departure.
Whatever it was, she had to wake Dr Jones and tell him the bad news before she went out to search for both Polly and the missing woman. As the door was open it was quite possible the dog had just gone out and the two things weren’t connected.
There was no need to wake Mary and Fred; this wasn’t their problem. She tapped on the door and heard movement on the other side. ‘Doctor Jones, Violet has packed a bag and left. I’ll wait downstairs for you,’ she whispered.
‘I’ll be there in a minute.’ His reply was equally quiet and she was confident no one would have heard her.
She riddled the range and filled it up with the waiting fuel. Once it was roaring away she opened one of the heavy, iron lids and put the kettle on the hot plate. As she’d only half-filled it, it boiled quickly and the tea was brewing when Dr Jones came in.
He rubbed his chin and grinned. ‘Thought it best not to stop and shave – don’t look so horrified, Mrs Smith. I’ll do it before my first patient arrives.’
‘In the circumstances I don’t think they’d care what you looked like as long as they were able to see you. I’m going to drink this tea quickly and get off. She’s taken Polly’s lead so the dog’s definitely with her.’
He sat at the table and drank his tea before answering. ‘I’m pretty sure she was there when I went up around eleven last night as there was a light under her door.’
‘The light was off this morning. What bothers me is that there are no buses until the first one at eight o’clock. Do you think she might have been meeting someone?’
‘It’s possible. I’ve a nasty suspicion that her disappearance is because she overheard us talking about having her committed. We’ve assumed she’d not been following anything as she never spoke but we could have been wrong.’
‘That’s dreadful – we should never have talked about her like that. She’s obviously not as muddled as we thought.’
‘That’s all very well, Mrs Smith, but don’t forget the bread knife. I can only
think of one reason she’d be taking it upstairs and that was to self-harm.’
Nancy shuddered. ‘I don’t want to think about it. Do you think she was intending to commit suicide? That could mean she’s gone somewhere else to do it.’ She jumped up so suddenly her chair crashed to the flagstones. ‘I’m going to check the knives and that…’
‘She packed a suitcase, my dear Mrs Smith. I don’t believe anyone intending to end their own life would bother to take a change of clothes with them. Whilst you’re on your feet why don’t you see if her ration book is with the others behind the tea caddy?’
It wasn’t and the lump in her throat disappeared. ‘She’s taken that. Blimey, and the housekeeping money.’ That too was gone. ‘There was more than twenty pounds in there. I didn’t even know she was aware I kept it in the Toby jug.’
‘It’s not your fault. I think we’ve all misjudged Mrs O’Brien. I believe she could have been planning this for some time. The blank expressions and the refusal to speak might have been a ploy to deceive and when she overheard us talking about an asylum, she put these plans into action.’
Nancy sat down again. ‘I don’t understand why she wanted to do that. She wasn’t a prisoner here and could have left at any time if she’d wanted to.’
‘Good grief, I’m not suggesting she’s of sound mind. If she was well then she wouldn’t have behaved as she did. What might seem as logical planning on the surface is, I think, part of her mania. If you’ve finished your tea, let’s find our torches and go in search of her.’
‘That makes more sense. No one in their right mind would leave in the middle of the night like that.’
‘I’m going to leave a note on the table telling Mary where we are. If I’m not back in time for the first patient then at least she can tell Mrs Andrews what’s happening.’
Outside the first glimmer of dawn made it possible to see without the torches but he’d said to take them anyway as they might need to look in sheds and outbuildings and these would be dark.
There were lights in the windows of quite a few houses. The village was waking up and soon they could ask others to join in the search but she prayed that wouldn’t be necessary.
She called the dog, whistled and stood still to listen for any sounds in the gardens or the fields beyond. ‘It doesn’t make sense for us to be searching together, Doctor Jones. We’ll cover more ground if we separate.’
‘That’s perfectly correct but – how can I say this without alarming you? – I think you’re going to need me when we do find her.’
‘You think she’s done herself in? I thought you said that no one intending to commit suicide packed a suitcase?’
‘I did indeed. However, I fear she might have been out here for hours and with the temperatures well below zero it’s possible she has hypothermia.’
*
The appalling weather conditions had prevented the nightly arrival of the bombers and David was able to eat a meal in the canteen undisturbed and then return to his digs to actually undress and get into his pyjamas for a decent night’s sleep.
He wasn’t due to start his shift until ten o’clock the next morning unless, of course, there was an emergency and then everyone was called in.
As he was leaving the next day the telephone rang loudly. Whoever was nearest always picked it up – all those living here were doctors and the calls were always for one of them.
‘Doctor Denny speaking.’
‘David, thank God. Violet has disappeared. She vanished some time the night before last and we’ve had the whole village searching but there’s no sign of her. Even worse – she’s taken Polly with her.’
‘Things are quiet here today so I’m coming down. Don’t worry, Nancy, we’ll sort this out.’
He could hear her crying. ‘Sweetheart, it’ll be all right. None of this is your fault and my dog will find her way home.’
‘I hope so. I really need to see you. It’s been horrible these past two days. The children are distraught and I thought they didn’t care about their mother any more.’
‘We’ll talk about it when I get there. I’ve got to grab a couple of things, ring the hospital, and then I’ll be with you later this morning with any luck.’
He was entitled to time off. He wasn’t in the services, but like most of the medical staff at the Royal Free they worked whenever they were needed. He explained why he was going to be taking time off for a few days, and didn’t allow his boss to refuse permission, but just hung up.
Violet disappearing, even his dog going missing, wasn’t as painful as hearing the woman he now accepted that he’d fallen in love with crying. Several times he’d started to reply to her letter but what he wanted to say couldn’t be written; it had to be said face to face.
This domestic emergency was the perfect excuse to take a couple of days’ leave – God knows he was owed ten times that amount – and return to Chalfont Major. It probably wasn’t the best time to begin his courtship but he might not have another opportunity. He’d narrowly missed being killed by falling masonry the other day and this had focused his mind wonderfully.
This bloody war was likely to go on for years and he wasn’t going to waste another moment. If people disapproved of him wanting to marry a girl whose supposed husband had only been dead a few months, a girl who was pregnant, then so be it. He’d wasted three years of his life moping about after Julia had died and he had no intention of wasting another minute if he could help it.
He got the underground to Liverpool Street and then was lucky enough to find the Norwich train waiting to steam out. A porter practically pushed him head first into the train as it was moving off and then slammed the door behind him.
‘Just made it then, mate. Doubt there’ll be another one for an hour or two,’ a soldier said as he shuffled his kitbag along the floor to allow him to find himself a space in the corner.
‘Thank you – sorry if I stood on your toes.’
‘Not on his, but you did on mine.’ The speaker was a young officer, ten years his junior, who was staring at him as if he might be something unpleasant that needed scraping off his boot. ‘Conscientious objector I presume.’ This was said with a sneer and David lost his temper.
‘It’s none of your bloody business, but I’m a doctor at the Royal Free and am getting a couple of days off for the first time in six weeks. When did you last save someone’s life?’
There were half a dozen soldiers crammed into the corridor and they’d all heard the exchange. He heard a murmur of approval. They couldn’t speak out openly against an officer but several of them made it clear they supported him.
The man he’d snarled at was opening and closing his mouth like a fish in a bowl. Colour was seeping up his neck. Then he recovered sufficiently to answer. ‘I beg your pardon. I think that chaps like you are doing a fine job.’
‘What you think is irrelevant. I suggest you mind your own business if you don’t want someone to punch you on the nose.’ His fists were clenched and the unfortunate officer recoiled. He snatched up his kitbag and shoved his way past the soldiers and vanished down the passageway.
‘Good for you, Doc. I wish you’d smacked him one. Jumped-up little prick,’ one of them said with a broad grin.
‘I’ve not punched anyone since I was at school. I apologise, gents. I’m not usually so belligerent.’
‘Since we got back from Dunkirk there ain’t been nothing to do but drill, training and more of the same. He’s straight from Sandhurst – no battle experience at all. God help us when we’re in action again with stupid bastards like him in charge,’ another one said morosely.
‘I’ve nothing but admiration for those of you who survived that evacuation. I’m more use in London as a civilian. At the moment I think I’m more likely to be killed than he is.’
He became quite friendly with the group and learnt a lot about life on an army camp for an enlisted man by the time he disembarked at Chelmsford. They were transferring to Colchester where there was
a big barracks.
Again, fortune favoured him and the bus that he wanted pulled in five minutes after he arrived at the bus station. He checked his watch. He’d left his digs at nine o’clock and it was now eleven thirty – two and a half hours wasn’t bad considering everything. There were several people in it whom he knew and, although no one mentioned it, he got several sympathetic looks. They all knew why he was returning so precipitously.
He smiled inwardly at the thought. They would be scandalised if they knew that his real reason for racing home was to declare his feelings to someone most people would consider a highly unsuitable candidate for his affections.
*
There was no escaping from the drama of Violet’s disappearance. Nancy couldn’t understand why no one at all had seen the woman wandering about with a suitcase and David’s dog. That Polly was with her should have made things better but in fact made them worse.
The local bobby had pedalled up and down looking official but had been of absolutely no bloody use at all. PC Arthur Black was in his fifties and so fat Nancy was surprised the bicycle didn’t collapse under his weight.
Billy was distraught and his constant crying and calling for his ma set Betty off as well. Mary was at her wits’ end trying to comfort them both. Probably they were both more upset about the missing dog than they were about Violet.
She’d rung David on an impulse and if he hadn’t picked up the phone she’d have hung up and that would have been it. Now he was on his way back and she didn’t know how to face him. He meant a lot to her – she thought she might be a little bit in love with him despite his being a lot older than her and not a bit like Tommy – and she’d let him down badly.
The dog was David’s last link to his wife as Polly had been a gift from Julia the year before she’d died.
He’d left her in charge and she’d made a mess of it. There was also the missing housekeeping money, which she’d not told the bobby about. She didn’t want Violet to be arrested when she turned up – if she turned up. David couldn’t possibly be here until late afternoon so she’d no need to tell anyone he was coming until after lunch.
The East End Girl in Blue Page 14
