by Aven Jayce
The clock in our kitchen reads nine as I frantically search the cabinets looking for some painkillers. My entire body’s sore and Hav was right, my fingers look like eggplants. When did I get undressed anyway? I hope he didn’t take off my clothes before he left. At least my boxers are still on. And where the fuck is my wife?
“Sophia,” I call out to a still penthouse. “You awake?” She’s never threatened to leave me. Christ, what the fuck did I do last night? “Sophia,” I yell on my way up the stairs, only to walk into an empty bedroom. What the fuck?
I find my phone in my jacket pocket and try her cell, but it goes to voicemail. Damn, I hate apologizing over the phone anyway and decide it’d be better to hang up. I try Haverty and he answers on his usual first ring.
“Feeling better?” he asks.
“Where’s Sophia?”
“She should be at home, unless she couldn’t stand the sight of you and decided to sleep at your parent’s place.”
“No, she can’t stand the sight of my father either. Did you bring her home last night?”
“Yeah, around three. Did you check all the rooms?”
“I’m doing that right now.”
“Need me to come over?”
“No... maybe... I’ll call you back if I can’t find her.” I toss my cell on the kitchen counter and check the pool and the terrace before heading over to my parent’s loft. My head is pounding and I regret the entire fucking night. Damn it, what’s gonna get me to stop drinking like a pussy and mistreating the people I love? And how many times can I have these same thoughts? Soph said it was okay to drink last night since I had a rough day, but fuck... I should be man enough to put all that shit aside and not drown myself in fucking whiskey. She’s right about going to rehab. She keeps mentioning it, and yet there I was last night, a complete mess, and falling head over heels for the woman because she gave me the okay to drink.
I approach my parent’s door and fix my dick so it’s not hanging out of my boxers. My mother’s heard enough about my sex life this week; she doesn’t need to see the thing as well.
As luck would have it my father answers the door, with his hair out of place and an expression of regret on his face. Looks like I wasn’t the only one who had a bad night. He peers at my fingers and reaches for me to come inside, but I step back.
“Sophia here? She spend the night with you guys?”
“No. Didn’t she come home?”
I walk away, still feeling deceived by him, and needing to find my wife immediately. My father catches up as I wait for the elevator.
“Haverty said he dropped her off at three,” I whisper.
“Check the lobby where she would’ve come in, then the garage to see if the car’s gone. What happened to your fingers?”
I refuse to look into his eyes and ignore his last question. I’ll have it out with him soon, but not now. Sophia’s more important than my father’s lies. He unbuttons his shirt, leaving his undershirt on, and hands it to me.
“I don’t need it,” I whisper.
“Cove, you’re wearing only boxers and you have a spot on your stomach that looks like dried cum. If anyone were to get into this elevator with us...”
“Alright,” I say, taking the shirt from him. “We need to talk soon.”
He nods and waits a few seconds before he responds. “I’m sorry, but you have to know I’m worried about you. You don’t look healthy... it’s unlike you to walk around in public, half naked, smelling so foul. And how’d you get that mark on your cheek?”
“Save it. An attempt at an apology isn’t going to make things better, and neither will a change of focus onto me. I’m not sure anything will,” I pause as the elevator opens. “Oh Jesus.”
Sophia’s sprawled out on one of the lobby sofas; she probably passed out, but thankfully she’s still fully clothed.
“Soph,” I whisper, with a light brush on her shoulder. Her eyes flutter open and she smiles for a brief moment, only to scowl after remembering what I dick I’ve been. I try to help her up, but she pulls her arm away and rises on her own.
“Did you pass out?” I question.
“No,” she responds, staggering half asleep to the elevator. “I didn’t drink a drop last night.”
“Look, I know you’re pissed at me, but you didn’t have to fucking sleep in the lobby. At least go to my parent’s or to Haverty’s next time.”
“I didn’t, you asshole. I fell asleep in our bed.”
I examine her frowning face, tired eyes, and tense body. Fuck, I know what that means. I did this. She was sleepwalking and it’s my fault for stressing her out. It happens to her when she has a lot on her mind and she keeps it all inside. And sleepwalking is her term for it. I don’t think anyone’s ever diagnosed her with such a thing, or if it even exists. The reality is she wanders and I’ve caught her doing it before. She wakes up in a daze with no purpose or clue as to what she’s doing or where she’s headed, and when she’s tired again, she’ll lie down wherever she is and fall back asleep. It’s rare for her to walk outside of our place and it terrifies me that it happened to her last night. She was down here in the lobby for anyone in the building to... damn... the things that could’ve happened to her.
“You okay?” I rub her back only for her to pull away.
“Nope. And I’m not going to talk about this with your father present.”
We ride to the top floor in silence. I try to remember exactly what I said to her last night, but it’s a blur. Shit, I can’t recall much after Kaitlyn’s house. All I know is that I was a complete dick and I fucked her in the Escalade behind the bar.
She races ahead of us when the elevator door opens and struts into our place, leaving the door open and thankfully not slamming it in my face.
My father grips my arm before I can follow her inside. “Listen son, I messed up and I hurt you. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I am sorry for the mistakes I made years ago, and now your anger for me is affecting your marriage in some way. Don’t confuse the two. Keep what’s happening between us separate from your relationship with Sophia.”
I turn away, letting his words ricochet through the hall and boomerang back into my head. He doesn’t have a clue as to what’s going on and working things out with my wife takes priority over him.
Sophia ignores my presence as I walk inside. She takes a box of Saltines from the pantry and pours a glass of cranberry juice for her morning meal. I can’t say that’s nutritious, but she’s never been one for breakfast.
“I’m sorry, Dove. I was drunk...”
“Shit ass excuse, Cove. Try again,” she heads for one of the windows in the living area and keeps her back turned while looking over the city. If it were possible to let off the fumes trapped inside of her body she’d steam up our windows. Yeah, she’s that upset.
“You didn’t have to screw me in the back of a car to ask about my interaction with David. That fuck last night was pure hostility on your part. It was cruel. I know we play around during sex, but it was clear you weren’t joking this time. You really hurt my feelings and you fucking did that to me once before... in Vegas, but I let it go because at that time you were more upset with yourself than with me. You fucker... argh.” The side of her face is bright red. “Cove, you came on my stomach with David Rosen in your head! You fucked me to make me suffer, to subject me to the distress you were under. How could you do such a thing? Why would you want to hurt me on purpose?”
“I had a bad day,” I mumble, standing directly behind her.
“Another shit ass excuse. I should just leave right now. Get a hotel room for the night.”
“I’m trying to apologize, and don’t threaten me.”
She’s silent as she takes another bite of one of her saltines, still gazing out the window. I sit on the couch and watch the muscles in her legs twitch, and wonder how I can repair this mistake. Staying silent isn’t the way to do it.
“Sophia... God... I’m sorry I hurt you,” I say in my softest vo
ice while shaking my head. “Please talk to me. Tell me what I can do make this better. I took an evening of heavy drinking and sorrow out on you, placed you right in the middle of all of it, and I was inconsiderate. I’m sorry.”
“I know,” her hand shakes as she holds her glass. “So ask. Do what you should’ve done last night. Ask.”
“About David?”
“Yes, about David. Ask.”
I sigh and lean back on the sofa in preparation for something I may not want to hear. “Why didn’t you tell me he contacted you?”
“How did you find out?”
“Sophia... turn around and look at me. I want to see your face when we discuss this... please. Don’t make me apologize to the back of your head.”
She exhales as she turns, and I realize I’ve lost her trust. Her sadness breaks my heart. Why didn’t I see that last night? How could I not know this would happen?
“I should’ve followed after you, into the bar. Instead, I was ashamed and upset, so I had Haverty bring me back here.”
“No, you should’ve just come right out and talked to me, but you used your dick instead.”
My head bows toward the floor. I’m embarrassed and mortified now. I remember everything. She’s right. My plan last night with the fuck was to harm her, to force her to feel my pain. I didn’t want to be alone with such a wounded heart, and I thought she deserved to suffer like my father.
“You’re right, I screwed up.” I mumble. “Can I say something that may sound like an excuse, but that I believe is important? I need you to understand something.”
She nods and allows me to continue.
“I spent half my life with your father and his bodyguards, David Rosen’s sons.”
“Oh please don’t, Cove. Don’t bring my father into this conversation.”
I pause and look into her eyes. She can finally see how upset I am by my actions, and nods once more for me to go on.
“All I know from them is pain for pain. If people harm you, you harm them back, and to be honest with you Soph, most of the time I don’t feel like I’m able to function in this world because of my past. I’ve thought about it a lot. Who am I supposed to be? How am I supposed to act? Am I just walking through life putting on shows for everyone based on their personalities, and not my own? I mean; Haverty and I are vulgar fucks, no question there. When I’m with him I become some jock asshole, yet around my mother I try to be sensitive and considerate, but it doesn’t always work out that way. I don’t believe either of those personalities fits me. Then, I try to come across as a tough guy around my father, a man... but in the end I turn into a helpless little boy still searching for his protection.”
“And what about me?” she whispers. “Who are you when you’re with me?”
I rub my eyes with my thumb and forefinger and think. My teenage years were spent being sodomized; while other kids in this world were developing behaviors that helped them grow into healthy, young adults. It may be time to reveal myself to another person, yeah, a shrink, like I talked to my father about on the plane. It’s not fair to Sophia and she shouldn’t have to deal with any of this shit. My past and my anger control our relationship. I can’t answer her question. I just don’t know.
“I’m going to call someone tomorrow. A psychologist, like we discussed. But I need to go by myself for a while, if that’s okay with you. You know there’re things I don’t want you to hear and I need you to respect that,” I whisper.
I follow her feet with my eyes as they move from the window to the sofa. She sits next to me and gives me a sincere embrace that I know I don’t deserve.
“You’re strong, Cove. Just making the decision to go proves it, and I’m proud of you,” she says into my ear.
My hand touches her waist and she feels the wooden splints. She stares at them, wide-eyed and confused as to what happened.
“You know how dangerous David is,” I say in response. “You should’ve at least warned me that he was around. Why do you think Haverty’s been with us, even when we’re not at the Scarlett?”
“Oh shit,” she continues examining the amateur splints. “David did this?” she whispers. “Where did you run into him? Was he here?”
“No, it doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. Was he here? At our place?”
“No. He was at Kaitlyn Moore’s... and I know, I shouldn’t have, but I went over there because of Ivy and the article, and nothing else. I was shitfaced, looking for more information, and David threw out a line and reeled me in.”
“Are they broken?”
“Do they look broken?” I answer cynically. “I passed out when he did it, but I think the alcohol may have numbed some of the pain. And yeah, they fucking hurt. Sophia, I want to know why you’ve kept this from me.”
“There hasn’t been a good time to tell you,” she responds in a hushed tone.
She’s silent as I run my hand through my hair, stand, and pace next to the window; kicking a few magazines on the floor that are in my way.
“I apologized for being a dick to you last night, but that doesn’t mean I’m not upset about other things. You can be upset with me, but I’m pissed as well. Jesus Soph, we need to talk about this now, so let’s get it over with so we can move forward and figure out what we need to do next. Please stop pussyfooting around. It’s bad enough I have my father to deal with... and now this?” I exhale and head for the kitchen for a glass of water and some ibuprofen. My mouth and throat are both dry, probably dehydrated from the fucking liquor, plus my head and fingers hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. “You never told me about the money,” I mumble, glass in hand, returning to the sofa. She sits with her juice, and we stare at one another, taking slow sips in some dumbass stand off. Her legs cross then uncross, still in the dress she wore to the bar last night. It’s surprising she still has it on if she wasn’t drinking. Why didn’t she slip out of it when she got home? Seems uncomfortable and unlike her to fall asleep fully clothed.
“Can I explain without you cutting me off or losing your cool?” she asks.
“I can’t promise I won’t be upset... but yeah, I’ll try to stay in control.”
“What I was trying to say is that there hasn’t been a good time to tell you. It seemed inappropriate to mention David over the phone while you were in Vegas, and when you returned we had the situation with the article, and then one thing after another with Ivy to deal with. I didn’t want to just sneak it in on top of everything else. Plus, if you recall, you flew off the handle yesterday morning when I brought up the article, I wasn’t about to mention David after that. Your reactions lately have been extreme, wouldn’t you say? A bit on the passive-aggressive side?”
She’s one to talk, but I let her comment slide. “This thing with David is more important than Ivy, and you haven’t been honest. I’m really disappointed in you, Sophia... and in myself, I don’t want us to lose trust in one another.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I should’ve told you about David before anything else.” Her words are sincere as her eyes well with tears. The waterworks are on the way.
I raise my arm as a distraction to her, as well as a loving gesture on my part. With a smile, she curls her body next to mine, her arm wrapped around my waist. I kiss her forehead and apologize for losing my temper, going to Kaitlyn’s, the nasty fuck, and getting shitfaced. She nods and continues the discussion about David without any further prodding.
“He called after my father’s estate was settled. Somehow he already got the money from my brother and now he wants my share. The guy’s a shitbag-sleazeball. Sorry, I know you’re related to him.”
“Not by choice, Soph.”
“Anyway, I hung up when he called, but he wouldn’t let up. I want to change my number.”
“He’ll just get it again. That’s not going to solve the problem.”
She brushes her hand gently down my leg and continues in a quiet voice. “Then, I saw him on the street the other day when I left our building. All I coul
d think to do was run back inside. He’s creeping me out and I wish I could go to the cops.”
“He’s friends with most of the guys at the station, plus...”
“I know, your father. I understand, but what do we do?”
“Just give him the fucking money. Who gives a shit? It’s not like we’re dirt poor or anything. We’ll be fine without it.”
“That’s not the point and you know it. The bastard had me locked in a room and tried to force his dick into my mouth when we were in Vegas, remember?”
“I know,” I whisper. She’s right. David almost raped her, and now after going through that experience with him, she has to hand over her inheritance? For fuck’s sake, I understand how she must feel.
“Why should I hand over a fortune to a person like that? Think of all the crap he put people through, especially you. And all of this could continue, even after he gets my settlement, you know? It doesn’t mean he’s going to leave us alone.”
I exhale and place my hand on my knee to remind her of my evening. She stares at the splints and shakes her head.
“You need to give him the money. It’s not worth it. I agree with you, but the fact of the matter is our lives are more important.”
She sets her feet on the coffee table and exhales. We sit with our arms around one another and watch low clouds travel across the grey urban sky. Every few minutes a small sliver of sunlight penetrates the dense sky.
“Cove, I’m tired and emotional, and all I want are my feelings to be known. I’m unhappy that I have to pay a man who abused both of us.”
“I know. Your feelings are valid, but your idea of keeping the money isn’t realistic. Not with whom we’re dealing with. How much is it by the way?”
“Twelve million, plus the loft next door.”
“Twelve million? That doesn’t seem like a lot considering all your father owned, then again, David did mention the cops seized most of it. So, your brother got the same amount?”
“Don’t know,” she shrugs. “I would assume so since he was the executor of the estate, but who knows, I think it’s fucked up we got anything at all. I mean, my brother never saw him, and it’s not like I was close to him in the end. My father would have killed me when the time was right, and given the opportunity, I just might have done the same.”
