“Mr.?”
“Carter, but please call me Ryan.”
“Well, Mr. Ryan Carter, to what do we owe the pleasure?”
Ryan looked my way again. “I’m here to convince Ms. Jensen to give me another chance.”
I put my hand over my face. He was so, so dead.
“Ah … so you’re interrupting my class in the pursuit of love, or perhaps lust?”
Who uses words like lust anymore? It didn’t matter, I was so beyond embarrassed.
“Definitely both, sir”, Ryan answered. The whole class laughed.
I looked at Ryan incredulously.
He looked at me innocently, but seriously.
“By the look of it, I take it, Ms. Jensen, that you’re torn by his request.”
I whipped around to face my professor. “No … I’m not.”
“Well, the way you lean toward him, tilt your head, and blush, says something entirely different. So where is your conflict coming from, Ms. Jensen?”
“Please, sir, I’d rather not discuss that.”
“Intriguing. Well, class, how would you like a real life demonstration today, in couple’s therapy?”
There was a murmur of approval. My professor looked delighted.
I looked at Ryan, who also looked happy. I was so the opposite. “We’re not doing this,” I informed him.
“Please, join me up front, Mr. Carter and Ms. Jensen.”
I felt like I had been caught passing notes in class. “Professor Yost, please, this isn’t necessary. Ryan was just leaving.”
Ryan stood up, to my relief, but then he held out his hand to me. “Shall we, my dear?”
The class laughed at his attempt at wit. His little gem was anything but funny.
“Come now, Ms. Jensen, we are wasting valuable time,” my professor called out.
I stood up, but not before throwing Ryan the dirtiest look ever. He laughed and followed me down, touching the small of my back. Professor Yost set out two chairs for us that faced each other. Ryan and I each sat down at the same time. I didn’t want to look at him, which was saying a lot. He was beautiful, but I was furious with him. I liked this class, and now I was going to have to drop out of it.
“As we are not in a private setting, I will not ask you to go into any intimate details,” my professor said quietly to us.
That didn’t make me feel any better, considering that wasn’t even an issue. Ryan winked at me. I’m sure he was thinking the same thing.
“Class, please take notes on posturing, mannerisms, and tone. As you can see, Ms. Jensen is a bit tense, and her posture suggests she’s on the defensive. Mr. Carter, on the other hand, is eager and even relaxed. So our first job here is to make Ms. Jensen feel comfortable, make her feel like she can open up to her partner.”
Ryan smiled at the title. I grimaced at him.
“Did you notice that class?”
Great, I was in a fish bowl, and I felt like I was on trial and losing.
“So, Ms. Jensen, tell me about your first date.”
I turned to him, surprised. “What? Why?”
“Very good question, and I’ll answer after you do.”
He was no longer my favorite professor. In fact, I was going to login to ratemyprofessor.com after this and give him the worst review ever. I took a deep breath and thought back to that perfect night back in July. I felt so stupid doing this, but I looked at my professor and felt like I didn’t have a choice. I closed my eyes for a moment. “He took me to see a One Republic concert.”
“We need more detail.”
Ok … “It was at Red Rocks in July. Before the concert, we had dinner.”
“And do you remember what you ate?”
“Grilled salmon salad and apple pie with ice cream.” I felt myself smile at the sweet memory, but then I looked at a grinning Ryan and frowned.
I looked at my classmates who were furiously taking notes … on me.
“Good choices, Ms. Jensen. What do you remember most about that night?”
I let out a deep breath and thought about lying, but I couldn’t, not about that. “It began to rain just as the concert ended, and we ran back to his car. When we reached the car soaking wet, he pulled me to him and kissed me and then apologized for being too forward.”
“Awww,” I heard someone say.
It really was sweet.
“Someone, please tell me what you noticed when Ms. Jensen spoke.”
Several hands went up, and he called on a random person in the first row. I still couldn’t believe this was happening. Ryan sure looked like he was enjoying the show.
“Her eyes were bright when she spoke and she smiled often. She also inadvertently looked at him when she remembered being kissed.”
I did?
“Very observant. And what does this say to you?”
“If I had to guess,” my classmate said, “I would say that she still has favorable feelings toward him.”
“I would agree with you, Ms. Hart.” Then he turned to me. “When couples would come to me for counseling, Ms. Jensen, a great way for me to gauge if there was any hope for the couple was for me to ask them to tell me about their first date or the day they got married. If they responded negatively, that was usually a good indication that counseling might not be very helpful, but when someone responded like you just did, it was usually a good tell-tale sign the couple would be able to work things out.”
Ryan smiled wide. I wasn’t sold on the idea.
“Mr. Carter, please tell Ms. Jensen what you believe your biggest obstacles as a couple are.”
I wanted to say we’re not a couple, but I wanted to get this over with more, so I didn’t object. And I knew how therapy worked: when it was the other person’s turn to speak, you were not supposed to interrupt.
Ryan leaned forward and toward me in his seat. His eyes were warm and inviting, just like I loved them. “Charlee, honestly I don’t see any obstacles other than you being willing to give us another chance.”
I refrained from rolling my eyes, but that just wasn’t true. I had a laundry list on the tip of my tongue, just waiting for my turn.
“Hmmm … interesting,” my professor said. “Now, Ms. Jensen, it’s your turn.”
I sat up straighter. “For starters, he’s in love with his ex-wife.”
“I’m not …” Ryan interrupted.
“Sorry, Mr. Carter, it’s not your turn. And Ms. Jensen, you need to address your partner, not the class.”
I smirked at him. “You are in love with your ex-wife, you took her to your parents’ home for Christmas instead of me.”
Ryan tried to interrupt again, but was stopped again by Professor Yost. There was also a gasp heard among my classmates after I revealed that little tidbit. That’s right, I wanted to say. He’s not as wonderful as you think.
“And at the fire station, you went to her first, even though I was the one in the accident and the one you were supposed to be with.” I tried to keep my voice calm and steady, but it was difficult. I also felt completely embarrassed, which reminded me. “I know you’re embarrassed of me and our age difference, among other things.” That was enough. I still couldn’t believe I was bearing my soul in my class. I was never coming back.
“Is it my turn now?” Ryan asked eagerly.
“Not quite,” Professor Yost smiled. He turned his attention back toward me. “What is your age difference?” he asked me.
“I’m eight years younger.”
“Are you a mother, Ms. Jensen?”
“No,” I said almost regretfully. “But why do you ask?”
He pointed to my necklace. “The only women that wear homemade necklaces like that are moms.”
I looked at a smiling Ryan. “This was given to me by Ryan’s son, Josh.”
There was a low murmur among my classmates, and my professor, by his look, also found it interesting.
“So, there is an added dimension to your relationship.”
Ryan and I both nodded.
“Mr. Carter, am I correct in assuming your ex-wife is the mother of your son?”
Ryan nodded again.
“Obviously, your ex-wife is an obstacle for Ms. Jensen. Why do you think she feels that way, and why do you feel it’s not an issue?”
Ryan faced me again. “Charlee, first of all, Victoria didn’t come with us for Christmas. You don’t know how sorry I am that I didn’t ask you in the first place. Believe me, you were more than missed. And the day of the accident, you’re right, I should have gone to you first, but I had conflicting emotions. When I saw you standing there, you were so strong, as always, and Victoria had already been threatening to take me back to court over Josh because of you. I panicked when I saw her crying and yelling at you. I was trying to keep both of the people that mean the most to me in my life, but I failed.” He reached out and took my hands in his, and I didn’t pull away. “And I’ve never been embarrassed of you. I’ve just acted very poorly out of fear, but I’m done with that because what I fear most already happened when I lost you.”
“Awww …” seemed to be the consensus of the classroom.
I pulled my hands away and thought for a moment. I wasn’t sure if I could believe it. I had seen the way he looked at her, and I told him I loved him and he didn’t say anything back.
My contemplation was interrupted by my professor. “What are you thinking, Ms. Jensen? You look hesitant.”
I looked directly into those eyes I’d loved for almost half my life. I noticed both hope and fear in his expression. “I don’t want Josh to be taken away from you because of me, and I’ve seen the way you look at Victoria. You look at her like she holds the moon and the stars in her eyes. You don’t look at me the same way.”
Ryan didn’t even wait for the professor this time. He scooted his chair closer, reached up and rested his palm on my warm, embarrassed cheek. He looked at me like we were alone. “You’re right, I don’t look at you the same way. I never felt for Victoria the way I feel for you. You are my sun. You make everything brighter and warmer in my life. Since we’ve been apart, the light has gone out of my life.”
A single tear drop fell down my cheek and onto Ryan’s hand. He smiled and rubbed his thumb gently across my skin. “And Josh isn’t going anywhere. If Victoria even tries … let’s just say, it won’t end favorably for her.”
I sat back and tried to let everything he said sink in. I was a mixed bag of emotions, everything from peaceful to confused. I was grateful Professor Yost decided to end his little experiment there. I didn’t know what to say in return.
Ryan and I both stood up. Ryan kissed my cheek. “I need to get back to the office, but I’ll see you later,” he whispered quietly in my ear.
I nodded numbly and took my seat back on the second row. I didn’t really pay attention to anything else that was said. I’m not sure if my classmates did either. I think they all took turns looking at me. After class, a couple of women remarked to me that if I were them, they wouldn’t let such a catch go and that I was a lucky woman. I sat there and thought about that for a moment.
“Ms. Jensen,” Professor Yost called, bringing me out of my swirling thoughts. “May I speak to you?”
I quickly put away my things and joined him at the front of the room.
“I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much today.”
“I’m sure I’ll eventually get over it.”
He laughed. “You will have to forgive this hopeless romantic for trying to help.”
“Don’t be surprised if I transfer out of your class.”
He smiled again. “Just in case you don’t come back, let me give you a few statistics you may find interesting. A majority of men choose younger women to marry the second time around. It can be quite beneficial, you know. Younger women like to talk more freely, and older men are more settled and better listeners.” He winked at me. “And you would be surprised how many men learn from their first divorce and try to do better the second time around.”
“Thank you, but Ryan and I have never talked marriage. He’s never even said he loves me.”
“Maybe not in words,” the professor said before he strode out of the classroom, leaving me standing there dumbfounded.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I don’t think I learned a thing the rest of the day. Going to my next class was completely pointless. All I could think about was Ryan, which wasn’t unusual, but he was all I could focus on. His words kept ringing in my head.
When I arrived home that evening, it looked like he was home. I didn’t know what I should do. Should I go talk to him? Should I smack him? It was a toss-up. I decided to do what I always did when I was stressed and unsure, I changed into some athletic pants, a hoodie, and my basketball shoes and hit the court. It was dark and cold outside, but basketball was like medicine for my soul. It helped me not go crazy with my thoughts. I started playing a stupid game in my mind … he loves me … he loves me not … but instead of petals on a flower, it was he loves me if a made a basket and he loves me not when I missed. If we went by that, he really did love me, but I was a good basketball player. I tried not to put too much in it, but I really wanted to.
After thirty minutes of shooting hoops, I noticed Victoria pull into Ryan’s drive. She had Josh with her, and as soon as he saw me, he ran to me. I took him up into my arms. He looked like he had grown in the month since I had seen him, and he had gotten his hair cut. I missed the curls, but he was still the most handsome little boy.
“Cherry,” he said as he wrapped his arms around my neck.
“Josh, I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you.”
His mother joined us, and I thought she would be furious, but instead she looked stoically beautiful. She looked like she was trying to be brave.
“Charlee, may I speak to you?”
I thought for a second. I felt like I was entering the danger zone, but I knew I could take her if I needed to. “Sure.”
She walked closer and eyed her son in my arms. I could tell she wasn’t overly fond of it, but she didn’t say anything.
“Can we play basketball?” Josh asked.
I looked to his mom to reply. I wasn’t sure why they were there. Typically Ryan only had Josh Friday through Sunday.
“Sure, honey. Why don’t you play with the ball while I talk to Charlee.”
I set Josh down and handed him my ball. He was getting better at dribbling.
“Ryan called me today. It was the first time I think he’s ever been really angry with me, and after everything we’ve been through, that’s saying a lot. It speaks volumes about how he must feel about you.” She paused and looked off into the distance for a moment. Before she directed her attention back toward me, she let out a very long, drawn out breath. “This is really hard for me to say …” she said as she ran her fingers through her flawless red hair while grimacing at the noodle necklace around my neck, “… but I owe you an apology for my behavior toward you.”
I felt my own eyes dilate. “Thank you?”
“I’m going to be honest, I probably won’t ever like you, and I’ll always be jealous of your relationship with Josh and maybe even Ryan, but my mother and Ryan reminded me that I had made choices and there are consequences to them, and I’m fortunate that Ryan has found someone that loves Josh and treats him well.”
I looked over to my big guy dribbling so well. “I do love him.”
“I know,” she said somewhat coldly. “I know you love Ryan, too, and he deserves someone that loves him the right way and for the right reasons.”
Her forthrightness was throwing me for a loop. I wasn’t quite sure how to respond, but I don’t think she was looking for a response. I think, in a way, she was warning me.
“Come on Josh, your daddy is waiting for you.” She stared at me with that peed-on-Cheerios look of hers. “Don’t forget, I will always be Josh’s mother.”
“I’m not looking to take your place.”
She held her head up, to
ok Josh’s hand, and began walking him over to Ryan’s, but not before Josh waved and said goodbye to me.
“Bye, big guy.” Saying those words didn’t hurt now because I felt like they weren’t permanent. It was a see you later.
I ran my ball back into my house and waited for Victoria to leave. I stood there, for just a moment, looking at his house, asking myself if I really wanted to give us another chance. I rushed next door. I barely knocked before I found myself being pulled in and wrapped up in Ryan’s arms … where I belonged.
“I was just coming to get you,” he whispered low in my ear.
He felt warm against my cold body, and I sank into him. Josh wormed his way in between us, and we just stood there in the perfect silence, not saying anything for several moments. I think Josh went as long as he could. “Can you please make me some pspghetti?” he asked.
Ryan and I both laughed and reluctantly pulled away from one another. Ryan wiped at my cheeks. “I hope those are happy tears.”
I nodded in response before looking down on the little man in my life. “Are you ready to make some spaghetti?”
“Yeah!” he shouted.
I took his little hand in mine. His daddy pulled me to him for a hard, but brief, kiss.
“I’ve missed your lips,” he said as ours parted.
“I look forward to making up for lost time.” I grinned seductively.
He smiled sexily at me. I hoped Josh was tired tonight.
We spent the perfect evening together doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company and, of course, eating. It took longer than normal to get Josh to go to bed. He had a lot to tell me, from his trip to D.C., to all of his Christmas gifts, to school. And of course he had to be read three different books. It was funny watching Ryan be almost exasperated at his son prolonging bedtime.
“Are you anxious for something?” I teased as Ryan raced through the third book.
He looked up at me with those passionate eyes, and the butterflies said, Ahhh.
As soon as Josh was tucked in, kissed, and sang to, we made a quick escape. The moment Josh’s door was shut, I found myself being picked up and kissed thoroughly as he walked us toward the couch. I never knew he was so talented to kiss, carry, and walk all at the same time, but dang, he was good. I think my toes even curled as he explored every inch of my mouth, face, and neck. We settled nicely on his couch, and there we stayed for several more hours as our lips got reacquainted. Not a word was spoken, even after our lips finally parted. I sank against him and just enjoyed being near him.
Trouble in Loveland Page 30
