Misadventures with My Roommate

by Elizabeth Hayley

  “These assholes keep ordering one drink at a time,” Gavin overheard Dana say to Blake.

  “Okay, take them this one, and then I’ll call it.”

  Dana nodded and took the Captain and Coke to the group. Once it was delivered, Blake yelled, “Last call, everybody.”

  “We still got half an hour,” one of the guys yelled.

  “Yup, half an hour to nurse one more drink,” Blake called back as she continued to do what she needed behind the bar.

  “That’s bullshit. We’re not ready to go home yet.”

  “Didn’t say you had to go home. Plenty of after-hours places in the city,” Blake returned, still keeping her attention away from the pool table.

  “Forget her, Al. We’ll leave when we’re good and ready to go,” one of the others said.

  Gavin gripped his glass a little tighter. These guys were pissing him the fuck off.

  “Where’s that waitress? I want another drink,” rang out from the direction of the pool table.

  Gavin saw Dana deflate and start in their direction, but Blake waved her off. “I got it.”

  His eyes widened as he watched Blake round the bar and make her way over to the guys. She had to pass him on the way, and Gavin reached out and tugged on her wrist. “You want me to go over with you?”

  A slow smirk overtook her face. “Not unless you want to piss them off.”

  “Well, no, I don’t want that. Not that I care if they’re pissed off, but I don’t want—”

  “Gavin,” Blake interrupted.

  “Yeah?”

  “I got this. But you’re cute when you’re worried.”

  Gavin scoffed. “I’m cute all the time.”

  “Very true. I’ll be right back.”

  Trying to watch Blake out of his periphery without appearing like he was staring at the group of dickheads was a little difficult, but Gavin managed.

  The sound of balls clacking together, followed by one rolling down a pocket, filled the room. “What do we have here? A pool shark?” Blake asked.

  “Yeah, he wishes,” someone joked.

  “Don’t we all. Then I wouldn’t have to have a group of guys trying to make my life difficult,” Blake responded.

  “Aw, darling, we’re not trying to do that. We’re just having a good time.”

  “Well, good. I’m glad you guys had a nice night. Why don’t you tell me what else you want to drink, and then I’ll have Dana close out your check?”

  “You trying to get rid of us?” one of the guys said with a teasing lilt in his voice.

  “Yes,” Blake replied, which made all the guys laugh.

  “Okay, sweetie, we’ll close out.”

  “Thanks, guys.”

  Blake returned to the bar and picked right back up with what she’d been doing. Quite a few scenarios had played out in Gavin’s mind for how he thought that interaction was going to go, and all of them ended with the police being called. He couldn’t believe the guys had backed down as soon as Blake had gone over. Though the more he thought about it, the more he understood.

  Blake had an air about her. A confident you’re-not-going-to-get-one-over-on-me-so-don’t-bother-trying air. She was somehow charismatic and intimidating. Those guys had probably been drawn to her while all the same being unwilling to tick her off.

  It wasn’t more than ten minutes later that the group abandoned the pool table and headed for the exit. One guy, a fairly tall guy in a dark green Henley, detoured over to the bar and leaned his forearms on it.

  Blake looked over at him. “You need something?”

  “Yeah, I was hoping to get your phone number. Maybe take you out sometime?”

  Blake smiled, but Gavin was happy to note that it didn’t reach her eyes. “Sorry, but I’m already someone’s sugar mama.”

  Gavin’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Only Blake would say some shit like that.

  Green Henley guy laughed. “Guess it’s my loss then.”

  “Guess so.”

  The guy knocked on the bar with his fist once before making his way to the door.

  “All right, you two. That’s your cue to leave,” Blake said to the remaining guys at the bar.

  “What about him?” one of them asked as he tilted his head in Gavin’s direction.

  “He’s my bodyguard for the evening,” Blake replied. When neither man made any attempt to move, she sighed loudly. “He’s my roommate. He stuck around to walk me home. Now go away so I can lock up.”

  Both men quickly rose and grabbed their jackets from the backs of their chairs. “You know we gotta watch out for our favorite bartender.”

  “Yeah, yeah, you just say that to get free drinks,” she teased.

  “You know it,” one said with a laugh before they both waved goodbye and left. Blake followed them and locked the door behind them.

  “That’s Ned and Carl,” she explained when she came back. “They always wait with me until all the customers are gone. Not sure what they think they’re going to do if something happens. I’m pretty sure my boobs weigh more than either of them.”

  Gavin laughed. “That’s nice of them though.”

  “Yeah, it is,” Blake said softly. She emptied her tip bucket, counted it quickly, and yelled for Joe.

  The older man popped out of the back a minute later. “How much?” he asked with his hand outstretched.

  “One fifty,” Blake said as she handed her tips over.

  Joe went and opened up the register. “Everything okay tonight?”

  “Yup.”

  “Good.” Joe put the smaller bills in the register, and then pulled out a stack of bills and counted some off. When he was done, he closed the register and handed the money to Blake. “Be safe.”

  “Always,” she said with a smile. She slipped the bills into her purse before looking at Gavin. “Ready?” she asked.

  “Whenever you are.”

  “Let’s go then. Have a good night, Joe.”

  “You too,” he replied before he went back behind the bar.

  Gavin followed Blake out into the night. It seemed a lot darker than when Gavin had returned after dropping Emily off. He looked up and saw that it was cloudier than it had been earlier. “Oh shit,” he said as he stopped dead in his tracks.

  “What?” Blake asked.

  “I forgot to settle up my tab.”

  Blake grabbed his sleeve and yanked. “Simon left more than enough. Don’t worry about it.”

  “I need to tip you at least.”

  “Oh, you’re going to give me a tip all right.”

  A laugh burst out of Gavin. “You’re such a pervert.”

  “Totally,” she said with a small laugh of her own.

  At that moment, Gavin felt a large drop of water hit his head. “Don’t even tell me,” he muttered. Seconds later, the skies opened up, and Blake and Gavin found themselves caught in a downpour. “Should we try to get a cab?” Gavin asked over the torrent.

  “Are you crazy? We’re only three blocks away. Let’s make a run for it.” Blake grabbed his hand and threaded their fingers together as they began to run down the sidewalk.

  Gavin easily kept pace with her shorter stride, though his breath was still choppy due to the simple fact that neither of them could stop laughing. They reached their building breathless, drenched, and smiling.

  Blake unlocked the outer door and threw it open so they could dive inside. Their laughter filled the quiet hallway as they dripped puddles on the floor. Gavin ran his hands through his hair, squeezing the excess moisture from it. He looked over at Blake, who was wringing out her shirt. Their gazes locked, and the laughter slowly died down. It was replaced by a searing heat despite the fact they were both freezing. Before he even had time to think about it, Gavin was on her, pushing her back against the wall and devouring her mouth.

  When he trailed kisses down her neck, she gasped, “You do the hottest shit.” She gripped his hair and forced his head up so they could kiss again.

  Gavin lo
wered his hands to her ass and hoisted her up, which prompted her to wrap her legs around his waist. He ground his hard cock into her as she gyrated against him.

  “Upstairs,” she panted. “Gonna…get…arrested.”

  Gavin gave her one more deep kiss before dropping her legs and giving her a swat on the ass. “After you.”

  “The hottest shit,” she muttered as she started up the steps.

  Gavin followed close behind, but was careful not to touch her. When he got his hands on her again, there was no way he’d be able to take them off until they were both breathless on whatever surface she wanted him to fuck her on.

  Opening the door tested Gavin’s patience since Blake dropped the keys twice before finally unlocking it. Gavin kicked it closed behind him as his hands reached for Blake. Their lips fused together as they ripped wet clothes from one another’s bodies and let them thwap onto the floor. Tracking water through the apartment wasn’t a concern at the moment.

  “My room,” Blake said, and that was all the direction Gavin needed. He backed her that way as he divested her of any remaining clothing and began groping and kneading her flesh in a way that demonstrated his rabid desire.

  She plopped back on the bed and he quickly lowered himself on top of her. There was no waiting, no buildup. Gavin needed to be inside of her like he needed his next breath. He settled between her thighs and pushed into her in one long, smooth thrust that left her moaning beneath him.

  “Harder. Fuck, please, harder,” she begged.

  Gavin sat back on his heels and lifted her legs, pressing them toward her chest before he set a rougher rhythm, pushing and withdrawing from her quickly and fluidly.

  Her one hand reached for her pillow, and she grasped it tightly as she groaned in pleasure. The other caressed her breast and tweaked her nipple. There was nothing sexier than Blake touching herself while she rocked with his thrusts. The sight was almost too much. “I’m close,” he warned.

  “Me too,” she whispered.

  He pumped his hips even faster, hoping to get her to crest the peak before he did. Seconds later, she was yelling out her orgasm, her nails raking down his abdomen. He rode her through it before his pace stuttered, and he pushed into her as deeply as he could as his own release shot out of him.

  He rocked into her gently until his cock was milked dry. Slowly slipping out of her, he let his body fall forward, though he was careful to brace himself on his elbows to keep from crushing her.

  After a few moments, Blake smiled up at him. “That was quite a tip,” she teased.

  “I’ve never gotten any complaints,” he replied before he lazily kissed a laughing Blake.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Shit. These things are never gonna dry,” Gavin called from the fire escape in Blake’s room. Their clothes had been outside since last night, and they were still pretty damp.

  “What?” Blake yelled from the shower.

  Gavin walked toward the bathroom, peeking his head through the doorway. He had to admit he liked that Blake had taken to leaving the door open when she showered lately. She’d told him that she couldn’t stand the way the small room steamed up when the door was closed, but he liked to think it had more to do with the fact that whenever Gavin walked by, he’d catch a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror, all wet and warm and…

  Suddenly, Gavin remembered he was supposed to be talking about something, but watching Blake rub body wash over her breasts and stomach had caused all thoughts of anything else to vanish. However, seeing Blake’s clothes on the bathroom floor made his memory come back to him. “I said our clothes are never gonna dry out there.”

  “How’s that possible? They’ve been out there for over a day.”

  “It was a little chilly last night.”

  “Oh yeah. That’s true.”

  “Plus, it’s still overcast. My jeans are pretty wet. And the white shirt you had on looks like it’s getting rust stains on it.”

  She let out a frustrated curse. “That’s my last Reed’s shirt that I haven’t ruined. Can you grab everything and throw it in a trash bag? I was gonna go to the laundromat anyway today. Give me whatever you need washed, and I’ll do it while you’re at work.”

  “That’d be awesome!” Gavin said. “You sure you don’t mind? If it’s too much for you to take—”

  “You’re acting like I’m offering to be a surrogate for your firstborn. I’m doing laundry.”

  The comparison she’d chosen to make was a strange one, but the point had been made all the same. She was a friend offering to throw a few things in the wash for him. “Okay, thanks. I’ll leave the bag in your room. I gotta get going. I’m cursing whichever manager decided to put me in charge of the daycare pictures today. Tabitha and Jamie are doing high school sports teams.”

  “Ugh, daycare pictures sound brutal. You should do more than curse them.”

  Gavin laughed. “When I need help thinking of my revenge, I’ll be sure to consult you.”

  “You better,” she said, followed by, “Have fun.”

  “I won’t,” he promised her. “You’re naked and wet, and now I have to leave. I hate this job even more now, and I didn’t think that was possible.”

  “Goodbye, Gavin,” she said. And somehow that made him smile.

  * * *

  “Morning, Linda,” Blake said after pulling open the door to the laundromat and slinging the gigantic trash bag full of clothes over her shoulder.

  Linda looked up from whatever trashy magazine she’d been reading behind the counter. “Well, if it isn’t the emo Mrs. Claus,” she said in the same monotone voice she used every time she spoke about anything. “I’d ask where your elves are, but I’m guessing even they find you intolerable.”

  Blake bit the inside of her lip to hold back a laugh, and only when she was safely facing the washers—and away from Linda—did she let herself smile. “You’re a trip, Linda. You know that?” She plopped the bag onto the metal table and began pulling clothes out of it. But she stopped midreach and looked over at Linda again. “Oh my God. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it until now,” she said.

  “I have no interest in knowing what you’re thinking of, but I know you’ll tell me anyway, so go ahead.”

  Blake could barely contain her excitement. “Linda Tripp. That’s your new name.”

  “Marvelous,” she replied with her signature indifference.

  “Ha!” Blake laughed. “I didn’t even see it until now, but the physical resemblance is uncanny.” She approached the counter where Linda was sitting on her wooden stool. “Straw-like hair, shoulder pads, a face that looks like a cross between John Goodman and Marilyn Manson.”

  “You done?”

  “Almost. Have you ever wiretapped a phone?”

  Linda stared at her, and the silence only amused Blake more. “I’m impressed you even know who she is. I’ve got feces in my large intestine older than you.”

  “Well, that’s…gross as fuck.” Blake hardly ever met people who were as odd and disturbed as she was, but she’d met her match in Linda. Which was one of the reasons she went to this laundromat over the one that was two blocks closer to her apartment. The strange Asian man who asked for her help with his crosswords wasn’t nearly as entertaining as the gem sitting in front of her.

  Blake returned to the washers and began tossing in some of the clothing. There were definitely at least two loads, and it crossed her mind to separate the clothing so that Gavin’s was in one washer and hers was in another. But she ultimately decided that if she could mix bodily fluids with the man, she could certainly mix laundry.

  “Whose boxers are those?” Linda called from her stool. She’d turned her head toward Blake, but her body was still facing the front of the store. She reminded Blake of an owl without the wisdom.

  “Your mom’s,” Blake said. The ridiculousness of her comment only made it funnier to her, but she managed not to laugh.

  Linda’s expression remained unamused. “I would’
ve thought you got yourself a boyfriend if I didn’t know what a miserable sadist you are. So I’m thinking it’s more likely that you started the transitioning process.”

  “You’re right about me not having a boyfriend,” Blake said. She finished loading the clothes and turned on the washer. Then she plopped down on a nearby chair, raising her voice so Linda could hear her over the noise. “The sex change does seem like the more likely option. If things go as planned, I’m hoping to have as much facial hair as you by winter.”

  “Well, you’re already a dick, so I’m sure it won’t be long before you have one too.”

  Blake couldn’t contain her smile this time, so she kept her head down where it had been directed at the phone on her lap. Over the course of the next half hour or so, Linda had to answer the phone twice and open the vending machine for someone when it didn’t give them the soda they’d paid for. It was the most Blake had seen the woman work since she’d started coming here over a year ago.

  “I almost didn’t recognize you without that stool stuck to your ass,” Blake said as Linda returned to her place behind the counter.

  “Yeah, well, I’m sure it’s better than what you’ve got stuck to yours most of the time.”

  Blake thought about asking Linda to explain her comment if for no other reason than entertainment value, but she decided against it. Listening to Linda talk about semen was not on the list of things Blake wanted to accomplish today. Moving the clothing from the washer to the dryer, Blake wondered if there was anything of Gavin’s that shouldn’t go in there, but she figured if he hadn’t given her specific instructions, then whatever she did was fine. She tossed the last of their things into the two machines and turned them on.

  “So you still never told me whose underwear you’re washing,” Linda said.

  Blake looked up from her Twitter feed. “I thought we already established that it was mine?”

  “I’ve decided that can’t be the case. You don’t look like the type to own underwear.”

  Blake stared at her blankly for a moment before finally responding. “Okay, that was a good one.”