by S. M. Shade
“Sorry, man. Has to be done.”
The sound of the crowd reaches my ears before they’re in sight. I don’t doubt for a second that Alicia updated her social media to show her visiting her “boyfriend”.
Clark steps in front of me when we reach the gated entrance, laying a hand on my chest. “Wait here while I get your guys together.”
My curt nod sends him on his way, and he returns with a few more men. They walk in front of me, keeping the crowd back. “Grab me a couple of paps with cameras,” I instruct one of the security officers. He chooses a man and a woman and allows them past the security line.
They start barking questions, and I hold up my palm. Fuck, I hate these people. They quiet, and I begin. “I’m not answering questions. I have an announcement. If you want your story, point the cameras at me and shut up.” I’m being a dick, but they deserve it. Both of them follow my directions, and I face their cameras.
“I have an announcement to make. It’s not anything I should have to say because it’s no one’s fucking business, but here we are. I am not in a relationship with Alicia Leath. We’ve been apart for some time. So all those rumors you’ve been spreading are bullshit. Nobody is cheating on anyone.”
As I turn to go, the woman calls out, “Are you involved with Kinley Matthews?”
I want to say yes, but I know it’s not what Kinley would want. These lowlifes follow her around enough as it is. Finally, I just shake my head and answer, “I’m not seeing anyone.”
I’ll have to explain that later. The last thing I want is for her to think I’m ashamed or don’t want people to know about her. It’s true we aren’t seeing each other at the moment since she won’t answer my calls or texts, but I intend to remedy that soon.
I want more than a summer hook up.
I want her.
The questions continue, but I’m no longer paying attention. Clark accompanies me back through the gate and asks, “Do you really think that’ll stop them from printing lies about you?”
“No, but it might get them off of Kinley’s back. I had to do something since word got out that Alicia was here.”
Clark stares at me for a moment.
“Stop looking at me like that. I might think your hatred is lessening.”
His head falls back as laughter booms out. “Can’t have that.”
We split up in the lobby, and I head to Kinley’s office, hoping once again to catch her and explain, but she’s not there. I have no idea where her suite is, and I also don’t want her to feel like I’m stalking her, so I haven’t asked anyone. She can’t avoid me forever.
I’m met with a surprise when I step off the elevator on my floor. Anavrin leans against my door, glaring at me with her arms crossed. Great, are there any women I haven’t pissed off today?
“Is Kinley okay?” I ask, unlocking the door. “She won’t talk to me.”
“Really?” Anavrin smirks. “That’s probably a side effect of finding your not girlfriend in your bed.”
She follows me inside. “Nothing happened, but she won’t give me a chance to explain.”
Anavrin sighs and leans against the wall. “Kinley has some family shit going on right now and the last thing she needs is for you to jerk her around. So, I want to know. What do you want from her? You obviously have no shortage of women willing to fuck you. Why are you after her?”
My first instinct is to tell her to go fuck herself. I’m sick of others thinking my life is their business, but she’s Kinley’s best friend, and if anyone can help me right now, it’s her.
“Because I like her. She’s fun and doesn’t take any shit. I like being around her, and I miss her when she’s gone, okay? It’s not about sex.”
Though she’s spectacular in bed. I’m sure that comment won’t help my cause right now.
“Until you move on to the next city, then what? Do you really think this is good for her?”
My hand runs through my hair as I take a seat on the couch. “Look, it’s a long story and I’m trying to sort some things out, but I won’t be going anywhere soon. I won’t have to leave if she doesn’t want me to.”
Anavrin scrutinizes me for a few moments before a small smile forms on her lips. “She’s not the only one catching feelings, is she?”
My gaze darts to hers. “Did she tell you that?”
She shrugs and takes a step toward me. “She didn’t have to. I can tell she misses you. I just want to know you aren’t going to hurt her if she follows her heart instead of her brain.”
“I’m not going to hurt her.”
Anavrin pushes a lock of hair behind her ear and mumbles, “She’s going to kill me for this.” She takes a deep breath and continues, “Foster and I are having a little birthday celebration for her tonight in her suite. I think you should come.”
Laughter seeps through the door of Kinley’s suite, and I hesitate just outside for a moment. She doesn’t know I’m coming, and I know she isn’t going to be happy to see me. I’m setting things right with her tonight, letting her know this is more than sex to me.
Anavrin flings the door open when I knock and grabs my hand, leading me inside. Kinley sits at a table, a pink drink in front of her, giggling with Foster. Her laughter dies, and I hate the expression that steals over her face when she sees me.
Anavrin holds her hand up before either of us can speak. “Kinley, I love you, but you’re stubborn as hell. You two need to talk so I invited him tonight. Work your shit out and then we’ll get drunk.”
Kinley glances at Foster, who shakes his head and leans back. “Don’t look at me. I had no part in this ambush.”
Forcing a smile to my face, I approach the table. “Happy birthday, Kinley.”
Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, and she murmurs, “Thanks.”
Silence descends, and Anavrin breaks the awkward moment by grabbing Foster’s arm. “Come on. Help me make another pitcher of margaritas.”
He reluctantly gets to his feet. “But we’re going to miss all the good drama. You know I live for this. How can you steal it from me?”
Anavrin rolls her eyes and pulls him out of the room.
“Kinley.” I take a seat next to her. “I called you.”
“I watched it ring.”
Ouch.
“Nothing happened with Alicia.”
Her eyebrow climbs her forehead, and she drains her glass. “She was half naked in your bed.”
“I came home from the studio and jumped in the shower. Sully gave her a damn key and added her to my visitor list. As soon as I saw her, I kicked her out and asked Clark to ban her from visiting again.” I run my hand through my hair. “Shit, Kinley, this is exactly what Sully wanted to happen. We’re just playing his game.”
Sighing, she shakes her head. “I’m not playing anyone’s game. None of this is a game to me.”
“That’s not what I meant. I didn’t break our agreement. He set me up. I didn’t know she was coming, and I didn’t realize you saw her until she rubbed it in my face on the way out the door.” I grab her hand and look her in the eye. “I didn’t touch her.”
Her shoulders relax a little and a relieved smile appears on her face. “I believe you.”
“Good.” I press my lips to hers and she melts under my touch, but it doesn’t last long.
“Holt,” she says, breaking the kiss and getting to her feet. “I can’t. I’m not angry. I just can’t. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“What wasn’t supposed to happen?” She hesitates and sucks on her bottom lip. “Kinley, just tell me what the problem is, so we can figure it out.”
She scoffs and paces back and forth. “The problem is my mother just rose from the dead and all I could think about was you!”
Okay, I’m lost. No idea where to go with that one. She regards me as I approach her. “Your mother is alive?”
“Yeah, my dad lied. She’s alive, and I met her. It’s been a crazy few days. I have important decisions to make, and I’m nowhere near coming to terms
with any of it. And while I should be figuring out how my life somehow turned into a bad eighties nighttime soap opera, instead, I’m thinking about you. About what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with when none of it should really matter. We aren’t serious, and I’m not going to be that clingy, crazy girl who can’t understand that.”
Pain glazes her eyes as her gaze meets mine, and her apologetic tone breaks my heart. “I have feelings for you, Holt. I thought we could just…entertain each other for a while, but I’m not capable of it. I’m sorry. We need to stop.”
It doesn’t even enter her mind I might feel the same way. Her lips part to speak when I tilt her chin up with my finger, but I stop her words with a slow, soft kiss. She responds with a low hum, her hand sliding around the back of my neck.
My arm finds its way around her waist, pulling her body against mine, and if time stopped us right there in that moment, I couldn’t be happier. Her smell, her taste, her touch, all seem to reveal to me something I didn’t even know I’d been missing. You can’t feel the absence of something you’ve never experienced. I don’t know if it’s love or lust or infatuation, but I know I never want it to end.
My forehead rests on hers as we catch our breath, and I cup her jaw, running my thumb across the smooth skin. “I feel the same way, bug. I know the timing isn’t great for both of us, but I’m not walking away from this. We have something…different. I know you can feel it.”
“I do, but we have wildly different lives, Holt. And I can’t see anything changing, can you?”
Stepping back a little, I smile down at her. “Actually, I plan to change a lot of things very soon. I’m stuck in a contract right now, but only for the next few months. I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen any more than you do, but I know I’m tired of not going after what I really want. And I really want you. We’ll find a way around whatever obstacles get in our way.”
Her lips twitch up into a cautious smile. “Are you sure about this?”
“I’ve never been so sure. I just need you to stop avoiding me when things get tough or I screw up. Because—spoiler alert—I’m definitely going to fuck up again. It’s in my nature.” And in the damn deal I made which I have no idea how to explain. Things have gone too far.
Her laughter brightens the room. “We have that in common.” She squeezes my hand. “I saw your announcement to the paparazzi.”
“I hope it helps keep them off your back. And I hope you understand why I didn’t say we were involved.”
“Yeah, I’d rather that not be public yet. Not because I’m ashamed or anything. I just don’t want the attention.”
Pulling her into my arms again, I kiss the top of her head. “Don’t worry. I get it.” I step back and run my hand down my chest. “There’s no shame in being crazy about all this. Anyone would be.”
“Fucking A.” Foster’s voice comes from the doorway, quickly followed by the sound of Anavrin slapping his chest. “Sorry, didn’t meant to say that out loud.”
Anavrin places a pitcher on the table. “Okay, now that you’re all made up, let’s drink so I can kick everyone’s ass at Monopoly.”
I accept the offered drink, take a seat, and pull Kinley into my lap. “You’re spending your birthday playing board games?”
“As opposed to what? Clubbing? Not my thing.”
“It’s not mine either. And I dominate at Monopoly, so bring it on.”
Foster grabs a drink and sits across from us while Anavrin gets out the game and doles out the money.
“I’m the dog,” I announce, looking for the token.
“Seems about right,” Anavrin quips. “But we don’t have the original tokens.”
“How do you lose all the pieces?” I tease. And why not buy a new game?
“We’ve had this game since we were kids. And we replaced them with other things we like,” Kinley explains, placing a tiny plastic book on the board. Anavrin follows suit with a miniature blow dryer, and Foster plunks down a little green lizard.
“You love books?” I murmur, running my lips over Kinley’s ear.
“Yeah, I always have. I read a lot.”
“Romance?”
Anavrin snorts, and Kinley glares up at me. “Horror. And some crime books. A little sci- fi.”
I dig in my pocket and produce a guitar pick. It goes on the board alongside their choices, and I grin, draining my glass. “Let’s play.”
I’d like to say I wiped the floor with them, but it’d be a lie because Kinley is absolutely ruthless. One by one, she takes us all out until I’m the only one left, mortgaged all to hell and praying not to hit one of her monopolies that all sport hotels.
“Foxhaven wasn’t enough for you, you had to put hotels on everything,” I grumble, when I land on Boardwalk again.
“Never play Monopoly with a business major,” Anavrin laughs.
“It’s over, dude,” Foster adds.
“Fine, I concede.”
Giggling, she starts picking up the pieces and arranging them in the box. “It’s not like we had a bet on it.”
“No, I learned my lesson there. Little hustler.”
Foster and Anavrin look at each other, then at Kinley. “What did you bet?”
Kinley shrugs, a smile growing on her face as she continues to sort out the game. “I said I’d show him my nipple rings if he won the Nerf war and I kept my word.”
Sitting back, I shake my head. “She took them out first.”
They all burst out laughing. The alcohol has flowed all night, and everyone is feeling good. With my buzz, I almost forgot about her gift.
While they clean up the game, I reach into my back pocket and pull out an envelope with Kinley’s name. “Here, bug. Happy Birthday.”
Her face lights up. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” She opens the envelope and lets out a squeal. “Oh my god! I can’t believe you got these!” I’m tackled with a hug that nearly knocks me out of my chair. “Thank you!”
Beaming from ear to ear, she waves the tickets at her friends. “Hate to Love tickets!”
Foster gets to his feet and reaches for the envelope. “Holy shit. This was sold out in minutes!”
“How did you—" Anavrin stops halfway through the question as the obvious answer strikes her.
“I have a few connections.” I turn to Kinley. “Now, you don’t have to take me with you, but you know, tradition dictates that if your boyfriend gets you tickets, you shouldn’t leave him behind.”
“Of course we’re all going!” she cries, handing Anavrin and Foster a ticket.
“I could kiss you,” Foster exclaims, then grins at me. “Anywhere you want.”
“Not necessary,” I laugh, squeezing Kinley as she hugs me again.
Anavrin gets up and turns on some music, dancing around to it.
“Well, she’s drunk,” Foster announces. “It’s the only time she dances.”
Kinley downs her drink, stands up, and grabs my hand, tugging me to my feet. “I’ve seen you run around a stage and head bang, but can you dance?”
I grab her hips and yank her to me, moving my body with hers. “You should know by now I have moves. I’ll show you again tonight in case you’ve forgotten.”
Lust shines in her eyes, and she grinds against me. She brings her lips to my ear. “After I suck you. It’s all I can think about right now.”
I learned two things in that moment. One, I’m capable of getting hard in a split second no matter who else may be in the room. And two, Kinley can’t whisper.
“Don’t let us stop you,” Foster teases, dancing with Anavrin. “It’s your birthday. Expand your horizons and give us a little show.”
Kinley’s cheeks flush, and she flips him off. “You just want to see him naked.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
The song changes, and I’m suddenly the center of attention. It takes me a second to realize why. It’s a Jilted song, one of the most successful from the last album. It’s dark
and gritty, and I hate it, mainly because I can remember writing those lyrics right after my brother’s overdose. It’s not a place I want to revisit, but music has a way of doing that to you.
“Not really a dance song,” I volunteer. “Feel free to change it.”
Anavrin grins and cranks up the volume. She and Foster start jumping around and bumping into each other like they’re in a mosh pit. Kinley tries to do the same, but she bumps my hip and falls on her ass, laughing.
“I might be drunk,” she giggles, as I take her hand and help her up.
I sit on the couch, taking her down with me, onto my lap. “You’re a dangerous drunk.”
“This is fun. I’m glad you came.” She smiles up at me, and I plant a quick kiss on her lips. “And I really really can’t wait to get you naked.”
“Hey!” Foster calls out, breaking the moment. “Did you write this song? Because the lyrics are bad ass!”
“I wrote all of Jilted’s songs.”
“It’s about a break up, right?”
“Something like that.” It felt like a break up of my family. At the time I wrote it, we weren’t sure whether my brother was going to live or die. I’m glad when the song ends and something more upbeat begins to play.
“Hey,” Anavrin speaks up. “It’s warm out tonight. Let’s go swimming!”
Kinley raises her eyebrows at me. “Feel like drunk swimming?”
“I’m in. Got to stop by my room for some shorts.”
“We’ll skinny dip!” Foster says, grinning.
“Dude, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m not showing you my cock,” I laugh, as we stand up. Kinley wavers a tiny bit. I’ll have to keep an eye on her. The pool isn’t deep, but it’s easy to lose which way is up when you’re drinking.
Foster sighs, slinging an arm around Anavrin’s neck. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”
The pool is deserted when we get downstairs, and it does look inviting. The night air is thick with humidity, without a breeze to provide any relief.
Kinley looks amazing in a tiny bikini, and if I don’t get in the water, it’s going to be clear to everyone how much I appreciate it. She steps up to the edge and sticks her toe in. I take a few running steps toward her and by the time she glances back at me, it’s too late.
