“I forgive you.” Cassie didn’t really see it as her place to give or withhold forgiveness. She’d come to expect criticism for her incompetence in all things and accept it. Her fury had been all to defend Griff and she’d burned that off long ago. Red had the black eye to prove it. The events of the day had left her too exhausted to hold much anger.
“Thank you. I know I talk too much. I plan to study my Bible again tonight. Red reminded me of the verse, from Luke. Part of it says, ‘That which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.’ I certainly learned that lesson today. My words were a sin and I hurt you with my sinning. I am sorry.” Muriel gave Cassie an awkward hug.
“I’ve never heard that one before.” Cassie wondered if what she thought in private would be proclaimed from the housetops. If that was so, God was going to be very hard on her on Judgment Day, because Cassie’s thoughts were sinful beyond redemption. She usually kept them to herself, but she’d shouted at Red and hit him. Her stomach twisted when she thought of how he’d retaliate later…in private. It took a terrible effort to keep from breaking into tears.
“Do you need help changing?” Muriel looked doubtfully at Cassie’s heavy silk dress, the skirts held wide with petticoats and a bustle. At least the row of tiny buttons ran up the front, or Cassie most likely couldn’t have dressed alone.
“I can manage, thank you.” Cassie blushed to think of Muriel or anyone being near her while she was in her under-things. Griff was always chastising her if he caught so much as a glimpse of her throat or ankles. To her knowledge, Griff had never—day or night—seen even a bit of Cassie’s skin except her face and hands. He’d stressed the decency of that, and Cassie had learned to never flaunt herself.
Muriel pressed a brown paper–wrapped package into Cassie’s hands. “This is a wedding present. I know the bank is takin’ everything. So you’ll need this. Red’ll be good to you, Cassie. He’s a good man. Leave the silk behind. I’ll get enough for it to settle Griff’s bill. This calico is better for life out here anyway.”
After Muriel left, Cassie missed the motherly lady. Except for the gossiping at the grave site, Muriel had been nice to her since Griff had died. She exhibited none of the cool politeness that had always been between them. Griff said Muriel and Seth were common and beneath them, so although Griff had to do business with them, Cassie kept her distance. But Cassie had leaned on Muriel since she’d come to town for help. She’d stayed in her rooms above the store, and what bit of food she’d eaten, Muriel had prepared and served.
Remembering those shocking words out at the grave site, Cassie realized that Muriel and Seth actually looked down on Griff. It was such a shift in Cassie’s world that she turned her thoughts away from it.
Without Muriel, Cassie had a long struggle to get changed. It had taken forever to get the black silk dress on earlier today. Cassie didn’t see the dark blue silk she’d worn to town. Most likely it was mortgaged, too.
Finally she donned the blue calico. It took only minutes. It was far too big, but that was a good thing or it wouldn’t have fit over her stomach.
Cassie left behind her stylish black hat, the reticule, and her lace handkerchief. She had several heavy petticoats. She left them, too, keeping only her shoes and her chemise and stockings. The stockings were silk, but they were the only ones she had, and modesty required she keep them. Then Cassie remembered the solid silver pins in her hair. She removed them and left them for Muriel, letting her heavy dark hair drop into a plain braid down the center of her back.
When she emerged from the back room, pounds lighter in the simple dress, Red and Seth were debating something heatedly. Red saw her come out and fell silent for a moment as he looked at her. Then he shook his head sharply, spoke again to Seth, and turned to her. “Let’s head out.”
Before they could start toward the back door, the bell over the front door rang and drew their attention.
A woman walked in whom Cassie had never seen before. A strange woman, wearing a riding skirt and a flat-topped black hat with a silver band. She pulled her gloves off as her boots clunked on the wooden floors. Spurs jingled with every step. A woman wearing spurs?
“Howdy, Belle.” Seth moved to stand behind the counter. “I’m mostly done with your list.”
“Thanks, Seth. The wagon’s out front. Sorry to bother you on a Sunday. I appreciate you opening up for me.” Belle tucked her gloves behind her belt buckle.
That action drew Cassie’s gaze, and she realized that the woman was with child. Not as round as Cassie but definitely expecting.
The woman, Belle, looked up, and her gaze froze on Cassie, moved to her belly, and then their eyes met.
Muriel had been standing in the hallway to her living quarters, behind Cassie and Red. Now she squeezed past Cassie and went to Belle. “This is Cassie Dawson. She and Red got married today.”
Belle’s eyes slid between Red and Cassie, and Cassie had the strangest urge to throw herself into Belle’s arms. She had no idea why. The woman was a bit older than she, but not that much. Still, the woman had the look of a mother, a warrior mother.
“Today?” Belle asked Muriel, but her eyes stayed on Cassie, flickering to her obviously round stomach again.
“Her husband died, just yesterday. Lester Griffin?”
Belle snorted and Cassie caught way too much meaning from that sound. Here was another person who thought ill of Griff.
Red shifted a bit closer to Cassie as if she needed protection. But there was no danger to Cassie from this woman.
Belle walked straight for Cassie then, spurs ringing.
Muriel gave way like dust in the wind, and Cassie had a shocking urge to smile.
Red held his ground, but Belle ignored him and spoke past his shoulder straight to Cassie, “Was this your choosing? This marriage?”
Cassie was speechless. Her choosing? What did that have to do with anything? “Wh–What do you mean?”
“Belle, it’s done.” Red leaned as if to block Belle from Cassie, but she glared at him so hard he straightened, shifting so they stood in a circle in the hallway of the store.
This woman had made a man move aside with a single look. Cassie’s heart started pounding. She’d never heard of a woman who could do that.
Belle turned to Red. “Yes, it’s always done, isn’t it? Done to a woman. No one gives us a choice. Look at her. She doesn’t even know what I mean by ‘choosing.’ ”
Muriel came up behind Belle. “It’s all right, Belle. She had to pick a man. You know that.”
Belle rested her hand on her belly. “I don’t know any such thing.” Her jaw tightened, but kindness was there, along with anger. “You can come home with me.”
Red shook his head. “She’s a married woman.”
“She belongs with her husband, Belle,” Muriel said.
Belle ignored them both and spoke to Cassie. “You can come home with me if you want. I’ve got a husband who spends most of his time hiding from work and three daughters who would love a big sister. When that baby comes, I’ll have one more. We’ll pray it’s a girl. And I’ll help you; you’ll help me. We’ll get by. What do you say?”
Cassie almost launched herself at Belle, grabbed her, and clung to her.
Some of that must have shown in her eyes, because Red stepped close and slid his arm around her shoulders. “We were married before God and man, this very day. My wife stays with me.”
Muriel’s eyes snapped with satisfaction. Cassie didn’t understand that.
Cassie nearly shook as she realized she’d bound herself to a man she didn’t know. A man she’d have to obey. Tears burned her eyes. This was a way out. She knew if she said the word, Belle could make it happen. Just as Red was strong enough to snatch her out of Mort Sawyer’s arms, Belle was strong enough to settle things her way. Cassie marveled at the woman, her strength, her confidence. Muriel had a glimmer of it, but this woman looked like she’d stand toe-to-toe with any man and come out the winne
r.
“Let me talk to her, Red.”
So Red and Belle knew each other? Why had Cassie never seen this woman before? There weren’t that many women. Surely Cassie wouldn’t have forgotten one.
“You can talk to her, Belle, but she stays with me.” Red’s shoulders relaxed. “If it helps any, maybe you should know Cassie gave me this black eye.”
Belle’s head whipped around to stare for long moments at the purple bruise. “Well, maybe she will be all right.”
Muriel snickered.
Red let Belle come close. Belle rested a work-roughened hand on Cassie’s shoulder. Cassie felt the calluses through her dress. The hand was scarred and brown and so strong, Cassie wondered what Belle could hold on to with that hand.
“I know you took vows,” Belle said quietly, “but just tell me, if there’d been a choice, would you have married again today, a day after …” Belle fell silent, shaking her head. “Lester Griffin, worthless excuse for a man. Dead now. No surprise. How old were you when you married him?”
“F–Fifteen.”
“I was fifteen when I first married.”
“First?”
“William was my first husband. I’m on my third. I tend to marry stupid and they all tend to die, although Anthony seems to be hanging around so far.”
“She might have married fast, Belle, but she didn’t marry stupid.” Red settled his Stetson on his head and his voice sounded warm. Considering how tough Belle was, that warmth didn’t make sense to Cassie. It was almost as if he…pitied this woman.
Belle snorted. “I’ve decided married and stupid are the same words. I’ll bet if we had a dictionary, one would define the other.”
Muriel coughed and covered her mouth.
Cassie was shocked and almost smiled at the nerve. What would she give to have the courage to speak so to a man…to anyone?
“What’s done is done. I’ll take care of her. And you should have known better than to marry Anthony anyway.”
Belle jabbed her thumb over her shoulder at Muriel. “Except I had people like Muriel saying a woman has to have a man.”
“Well, she does, Belle.”
Belle turned around and glared at Muriel. “I didn’t.”
“Cassie does.”
Belle, her back to Cassie now, stood solid, staring at Muriel.
Finally, Belle gave a harsh jerk of her chin as if it was decided. Belle turned back. “I reckon she’s right that you needed someone to take care of you, and I live a long way out. No one would have thought to come for me.” Belle’s brows formed a straight line, with deep furrows between. “But I’d have taken you in, Cassie. No woman has to have a man. But I reckon you needed someone. If you ever need a place to run, come to me. I live in a mountain valley through the gap worn by Skull Creek.”
Cassie realized she believed this woman. If Cassie needed a place, Belle would take her in. Tears burned her eyes as she nodded. “Thank you.”
Belle turned her eyes on Red. “You treat her decent. I’ll come and check, and I’d better like what I see.” With a deep sigh, she shook her head. “Seth, you got my order ready?”
“I’ll be at it awhile, Belle.”
“I’ll leave the wagon out front. I need to talk to the blacksmith, then I’ll stop by Herschel’s and see if they’d feed me on a Sunday.” Belle turned to Red and shot him a look that could have nailed a two-by-four to a fence. “I will stop by. Do you hear me?”
A smile bloomed on Red’s face. “I hear you.”
Belle’s expression softened. “You’re right. I never should have married Anthony. What was I thinking?”
Red tugged on the brim of his hat. Belle turned and weaved her way around Muriel. Seth handed her a wooden box full of supplies and followed her out, carrying another one. At the door, Belle froze. Seth almost ran into her from behind.
Cassie saw Belle staring out the front window of the general store at a building at the far end of Divide’s modest Main Street. Cassie saw the words Golden Butte painted over the swinging doors to the building. The banker had said something about Cassie’s silk dress being worn by the ladies of the Golden Butte and then he’d looked nervous.
A dark-haired man had stepped out of that building on the arm of a woman dressed in a shocking red dress, starchy with frills and lace, cut up to nearly her knees in front.
Seth said, “I’m sorry Anthony stepped out just now.”
Belle turned her head with a hard jerk as if she had to physically tear her eyes away from the sight. “He’s in town more than he’s home, Seth. I’m used to my husband shaming me. I don’t care anymore.”
But Cassie saw the downward turn of Belle’s mouth and knew Belle did care. This hurt, and Cassie knew all about being hurt.
“What was I thinking?” Belle shoved the door and stepped out.
Cassie watched as the dark-haired man noticed her. The woman in red stepped out of his arms and flounced back into the building. The man—it had to be Belle’s husband, Anthony—turned and walked quickly in the opposite direction.
Belle went to her wagon as if nothing had happened and set her box inside. Then she walked directly away from Anthony with the thud of boots and the clink of spurs.
Red and Muriel exchanged long glances. Cassie remembered the pity she’d sensed in Red and knew Belle’s husband with another woman on his arm was a usual occurrence.
Settling his hat more firmly, Red rested his hand on Cassie’s back. “Let’s head out.”
Confused by that rare, frightening look at a woman who would stare a man straight in the eye and say her piece and feeling awkward about witnessing Belle’s shame, Cassie did as she was told and headed out, following Red. The way a woman was meant to behave.
She remembered the way Belle had looked at her, straight out along that hat brim. Eyes direct, speaking her mind, issuing orders that sounded like threats. Cassie felt like a huge world yawned at her feet. A world she might have entered if she’d had the nerve to go with Belle. But did that bold gaze and her strong words cause Belle’s husband to disgrace her?
Cassie would never follow Belle’s example. Instead, she obeyed. It was her place.
Muriel hurried and got the wrapped package Cassie had forgotten in the back room and handed it to Red. He walked beside Cassie to where Buck stood at the back door. He stored the gift in his saddlebag and slipped his hands under her arms and hoisted her gently onto the horse just as he had the first time. He hooked her knee around the saddle horn again, and she clung to it through the layers of calico. She had a much better grip without the silk and petticoats.
He jumped on behind, and as he did, Cassie dared a glance at his face. His jaw was set and his eyes flashed with anger.
Had it angered him that she’d listened to Belle? Was it the bills Red had paid? Was he remembering that she’d attacked him at the graveyard? It looked as if he’d wait and make her pay for misbehavior when they got home. She was grateful her humiliation would be, at least, in private.
She shuddered to think of the times Griff had been this upset with her. He hadn’t done it for a long time, but she well remembered the heavy belt he’d used almost daily when they were newlyweds, before she learned a woman’s place. Fear climbed inside her at what was to come until she could learn to please Red Dawson. Burning tears cut her eyes. Knowing men hated tears, she swallowed hard and stared at the horizon to keep them from falling.
They rode out of town in the opposite direction of Griff’s holding. Then Red leaned forward. She braced herself for his angry words.
“Buck is strong and you weigh next to nothing. I always run him flat out the whole way home, but we won’t be able to do that riding double. We’ll push hard for a while, though. I asked Doc and he said a gallop wouldn’t hurt the babe if you didn’t take a fall. But Doc said I shouldn’t trot, so we’ll take off fast. It’s a far piece to my land.”
She was so shocked at his concern for the baby she didn’t answer him. He rested one hand on her rounded wai
st to steady her and clucked at the horse. The short-legged horse shifted smoothly to a ground-eating gallop. No more talk was possible.
Although Cassie would have loved to enjoy the wild ride, she couldn’t relax until she’d received her punishment and made amends in whatever way Red demanded. She just held on and tried to make herself as small as possible.
It was the same thing she’d been doing since the day her mother died when she was twelve. Griff had become her guardian, and he’d helped her understand how much she had to learn. And though it was a terrible burden to him, he’d been left with the chore of being her teacher and wouldn’t shirk it.
CHAPTER 5
Cassie woke with a start to feel strong arms carrying her.
Still groggy with the first deep sleep she’d had in too long, she rubbed her cheek against warm, coarse cloth and used her arms to hold herself steady.
She almost went back to sleep, when she heard a deep voice say, “Are you awake, Cass? I’ve got to set you down. I can’t do the door one-handed.”
Cassie’s eyes flickered open and she looked into Red Dawson’s face. They stood on the ground, beside his horse, and he had her cradled in his strong arms. In a split second it all came back to her. Griff, the funeral, her wedding, all those bills, Red’s anger. And here she lay with her arms wrapped around his neck. She pulled quickly away from him and he set her down. She carefully folded her hands, fixed her eyes on the ground, and waited for him to mete out the punishment she had coming.
It took her a second to realize Red was gone. He had walked on without her and was wrestling with a wooden door in the side of a hill. He got it open and said, “This is home, such as it is.”
Cassie stood, transfixed, staring at the door, wondering where her punishment was.
Red waved her forward. “Let me show you what little there is to see, then I’ve gotta do chores.”
Cassie obeyed. He waved her in and she flinched when his hand got too close, but she quickly controlled herself. Griff had hated that and punished her more severely for it.
She walked into a cave.
Mary Connealy Page 5
