by Derek Haines
As Glutz was reading his order from Dirrth, his office door opened and his grand father in-law made an unannounced visit.
‘Oh! Good morning sir,’ Glutz said in surprise.
‘I need to know whose side you’re on,’ Overload said without returning the greeting.
Dirrth meanwhile considered his two contradictory orders. One from Lefroy Overload, the President of the Grand Council, and the other signed by six Grand Councillors with an annex announcing the impeachment of the President. Both ordering the finding and return to Gloth of February Gregorian, but under very different circumstances.
‘How are you feeling this morning?’ Atoth said as he arrived and found Feb in deep conversation with April and Snurd.
‘Very well indeed Atoth. Thank you,’ Feb replied.
‘Excellent news. So we can carry on then?’
‘Atoth?’
‘Yes?’
‘I must get back to Gloth.’
‘Yes. I understand,’ Atoth replied. ‘How soon?’
‘Very,’ was all Feb said.
The Long Way Home
‘To Erde?’
‘Yes Feb. I’ve arranged for your passage aboard an Erdean Salmon Conglomerate supply vessel. It’s arriving the day after tomorrow and it will leave thirty-six hours later.’
‘And then from Erde?’
‘That’ll be up to you February. But I’ve arranged for you to be accommodated at the….’
‘Cavern of Clavius?’ April interjected.
‘Yes.’
‘Quite a tour we are receiving,’ Snurd added.
‘I trust you’re enjoying it,’ Atoth replied.
‘Good morning all,’ a still yawning String said as he arrived a little later than normal for breakfast and was greeted with hellos and smiles. ‘Adiddle certainly likes to play Canasta until very late,’ he added.
‘Yes indeed he does,’ Snurd said. ‘By the way. I have yet to see him this morning. Has he over slept?’
‘Oh no Snurd,’ Atoth answered. ‘He is running a few errands for me. He should be back soon.’
‘So, it seems we’re going to Erde String,’ Feb said.
‘We’re taking the long way home then?’, String said with a smile. ‘I’ve never been to Erde.’
‘You are like me String,’ Snurd added. ‘We have never been anywhere.’
‘Speak for yourself Snurd. I’ve been to Alternus!’ String said proudly.
‘Yes. I recall you told me. For a school excursion, and it rained all the time you were there.’
‘Well, one more planet than you,’ String smiled back.
‘Yes String. Seems that you will always be one planet ahead of me,’ Snurd admitted.
‘Well, Erde will be an adventure for you both,’ April added.
‘So it seems everyone is happy to go to Erde then’ Feb said. ‘So do we just wait for the supply vessel Atoth?’
‘Oh no. Definitely not. I’d like to use the time to take you through the Establishment and Renaissance periods and brief you on your stay at the Cavern of Clavius.’
‘Yes. Very well Atoth. Better than sitting around I suppose,’ Feb admitted.
‘Um. Any chance of some TR dancing for me?’ String asked.
‘Still not keen on history lessons then String,’ Atoth laughed. ‘Sure.’
‘I would quite like to know a little about Glothic history,’ Snurd said.
‘Looks like you’ll be dancing by yourself String,’ Feb grinned.
‘Oh no Feb. I’m sure I’ll find some nice partners.’
As impatient as Feb was to return to Gloth, he was very happy that Atoth had been able to make the arrangements he had. At least he could get much closer to Gloth, and with a good chance of not being noticed. It was only a short trip from Erde to Gloth, and there were regular commercial flights. A chance to visit the Cavern of Clavius was to be considered a bonus, although he was only planning a very short stay. As the others were finishing their breakfast, Feb went to his room for a while. He took out the small black box that contained the riddle written on the small inciphilite scroll. He carefully rolled it up and retied the blue ribbon in a small bow and then closed the lid for what he hoped would be a very long time indeed. Ready to return to Greg-Greg Gregory Gregorian. It also reminded him to ask Atoth how this Greg-Greg was related.
It was a long but informative day, and Snurd had particularly enjoyed learning about early Gregorian history and especially the implementation of Glothic administrative processes on the conquered planets of Sun System Five. April and Feb however were ready for more current history. And how to rectify it. On their way back in the tunnel, Feb remembered what he wanted to ask Atoth.
‘Just one thing Atoth?’
‘Yes?’
‘How is this Greg-Greg Gregory Gregorian related to us?’
‘Ah. Funny little man. Singular Sniddleydoop’s assistant.’
‘Keeper of the Key I was told.’
‘Yes he is. That’s how the name came about. As the story goes, it was Singular’s father who held the key for many years, and before he left Terranova Two to open new mines on Scallickdor in Sun System Eight, he gave the responsibility for the key to his youngest son Twosome.’
‘Twosome Sniddleydoop,’ April said with a broad smile approaching a giggle.
‘Yes,’ Atoth replied. ‘And he was so proud to be the official Keeper of the Gregorian Key that he changed his name.’
‘To Greg-Greg Gregory Gregorian,’ Feb replied.
‘Yes.’
‘So he and Singular are in fact brothers?’ April asked.
‘Yes. So no relative at all. Just a Gregorian loyalist and fan one could say,’ Atoth smiled. ‘Now. I trust Adiddle has prepared something for us.’
After dinner, String, Snurd and Adiddle readied for their game of Three-Handed Canasta. ‘Would you like to make it four Feb, April?’ String asked. ‘Be great if we could play partners like Adiddle has explained to us.’
‘Oh I’m not very good at games,’ April said. ‘And I’d like an early night as we’re leaving tomorrow.’
‘Well, if you don’t mind a complete novice,’ Feb said thinking it would help him pass the time.
‘Oh not at all Feb. You’ll be my partner,’ String said proudly.
‘And I believe Adiddle and myself will make formidable foes, will we not Adiddle?’ Snurd replied.
‘Indeed Snurd. Indeed,’ Adiddle agreed.
Once the scurrying to clear the table had finished, and the Canasta players retired to Adiddle’s room, April and Atoth sat quietly sipping theirs after dinner nip of Gurshlic, a liqueur made from the flowers of Gursh Moss. Only found in the cooler northern polar regions of Terranova Two, Gursh Moss only flowered on average every four hundred years, so it was considered a rather decadent indulgence.
‘Would you care for a walk in the evening air?’ Atoth asked. His cheeks reddening ever so slightly with the possibility of being embarrassed by April’s refusal.
‘Oh, um,’ April hesitated. ‘I really should have an early night.’
‘A short walk only then?’
‘Well Atoth. Just a short walk,’ April agreed. Happy that she had not said yes immediately. But very pleased to have received the invitation.
As there were really no such things as evenings on Terranova Two, Atoth’s invitation was clearly missing a vital element. Somehow though, neither Atoth nor April seemed to be disappointed as they left the tunnel entrance and wandered out onto the canyon floor. Neither uttering a word as they walked. Both were too busy with their minds racing with expectation.
‘I didn’t notice the beautiful cactus flowers when we arrived,’ April said as she looked towards Atoth and nowhere near the flowers she was mentioning.
‘Yes, it’s amazing what we miss,’ Atoth replied quietly as their eyes met, and a silence of intensity froze them like stone, until a mere hint of a sigh from April told Atoth that the moment had finally arrived. Taking the half step across an unknown univ
erse towards her, he took April in his arms. She fell into them, as she knew she would.
‘April,’ he whispered,
‘Yes Atoth,’ she whispered back a moment before their lips met for the first and most wondrous time. A second kiss, and then their eyes told each other their stories.
After a long eye conversation, Atoth reached into his pocket and handed April a small back box, edge lined in gold.
‘What is it?’ she whispered.
‘Open it,’ Atoth whispered back as he still held April close. With her hands at Atoth’s chest, she opened the box to find a golden heart-shaped locket on a fine gold chain necklace.
‘Oh Atoth. It’s beautiful.’
‘Open it,’ he said quietly. April opened the locket to find a simple message engraved. ‘I love you’. A small tear escaped.
‘I love you too Atoth.’
After an hour, hand in hand they walked back.
‘So it was your idea to get Feb to the card game then?’ April smiled.
‘Oh no. It was all Adiddle’s idea.’
‘He is certainly a very clever man isn’t he?’
‘Oh yes.’
When they arrived back, the Canasta game was clearly still in progress, so they decided to have another nip of Gurshlic. Probably to settle their nerves after their romantic walk. Their very first, and probably last for some time.
‘It will be difficult,’ April said after some moments.
‘Yes, I know April. But I know what’s in my heart.’
‘Yes Atoth. As I know mine. And will it be that I come here, or you to Gloth?’
‘Gloth of course April. It’s my home. This is no place to live.’
‘And your responsibilities here?’
‘That will be for my family April. There will always be one of our Gregorians here.’
‘Can I ask you to do one thing for me?’
‘Yes April. Anything.’
‘Wait until February has returned and succeeds in his duty.’
‘Until he is the Supreme Potentate?’
‘Yes Atoth.’
‘April. It must be that way. As it is February I must ask now.’
‘Ask?’
‘Yes April. I must ask him for your hand.’
‘Yes. You’re right. It is. But do I have any say in this?’
‘Of course April.’
‘Very well. I shall make you wait until then for my answer,’ she said with a smile and imagining Atoth on his knees in front of her. Proposing correctly.
‘I will wait forever April.’
‘As will I Atoth.’
It was quite early for the Canasta game to end, but everyone realised it would be a busy day ahead. They found Atoth and April finishing their Gurshlics as they entered the salon. In the moments before, April and Atoth had agreed not to tell Feb as yet as he had enough to concern him already. Their news could wait.
‘So who won?’ April said cheerfully.
‘I’m afraid Adiddle and Snurd were far to good for us,’ Feb said.
‘But we put up a good fight,’ String added.
‘Yes String. As we will do again starting tomorrow,’ Feb said and everyone noted his seriousness. Feb was readying himself for the fight of his life.
After the short journey in the Skimmer with Atoth early the next morning, they were at the landing field and the doors of the old building with its ‘Departures’ sign hanging by a thread to its place above the door. Singular Sniddleydoop and Greg-Greg Gregory Gregorian standing either side of the door forming a guard of honour so it seemed.
‘Good morning gentlemen,’ Feb said as he strode towards them. ‘Thank you so much for coming.’
‘Oh it is our pleasure sir,’ Singular replied.
‘Yes it certainly is sir,’ Greg-Greg added.
‘Oh! I nearly forgot. I have something for you Greg-Greg,’ Feb said as he put his hand in his pocket and then passed the black box to him. ‘I trust you’ll continue with your duty as Keeper of the Key.’
‘Oh yes sir. I am honoured that you wish me to continue. Truly honoured.’
They made their way through the building, past Singular’s office and towards the doors to the landing field with Singular and Greg-Greg leading the way. Opening the doors to the landing field very officially and leading their passengers to their craft. Atoth and April at the rear, hanging back and then just to the right of the open doors, moved long enough for one final kiss and an all too short embrace.
‘I love you April.’
‘I love you too Atoth,’ was all they had time to say before quickly catching up with the others. Their secret safe.
In front of them, a hulking grey-black vessel. Only a fraction the size of a Cosmic Cruiser and clearly designed with no consideration of design at all in mind. It was just bulky. A big grey-black straightened over-ripe banana would be as kind as one could be in giving it a description. Even at their considerable distance, it was also evident to all that it had a long history or transporting fish.
‘Not much hope of Luxury Class on this trip,’ String remarked to Snurd.
‘No String. Clearly not. However there may be a chance we will be fed on Erdean salmon.’
‘I think I’ve had my fill of salmon really.’
‘Yes. My sentiments as well String.’
Parting and farewells are always difficult and of course there were the usual thank yous, see you agains, it was great having yous and a lot of please come and visit us one day soons. For April and Atoth, their farewell was written in their eyes. Had anyone been observant, it would have been quite obvious, but luckily in the circumstances it was only Adiddle who noticed, and he turned to hide small welling tears that were on the verge of escaping. He resumed his composure just in time for one last wave as the entry hatch was closing.
If they thought the supply vessel was ugly on the outside, it was quite a shock to be welcomed to the interior. There was no interior really. Just the inside of an empty, echoing, giant, fish smelling, metallic, over-ripe banana. The most interesting part was the floor. It was relatively flat.
‘Sorry for the lack of comfort aboard. Can I show you to the crews’ quarters?’ a smartly dressed co-pilot asked them. They all knew he was the co-pilot as he had introduced himself as they boarded. Co-Pilot First Class Heggix Concurian.
‘Yes. Please do,’ Feb replied.
Basic was a polite word for their quarters. A bed, a small table and tiny port hole. Two shared bathrooms for everyone, and a canteen that defied any concepts of the word canteen. But it was transport, so all accepted without complaint. Four days to Rom would pass. A little quicker thanks to Adiddle presenting String and Snurd with a double Canasta pack as a parting gift. Even April found a liking for Canasta as a way of passing the hours.
As April, String, Feb and Snurd whiled away their hours, games of a dirty kind were being played elsewhere.
‘Where the hell is he then?’ Alsiatious Umblicat barked into his Q’muniktor.
‘We have no idea. No one knows,’ an annoyed Major Snerlic replied.
‘You’re supposed to know Snerlic. You’re an officer in the Grand Council Guards. That’s your job you idiot!’
‘With respect sir, I’m not a baby sitter for the President.’
‘Just find him you fool!’ Umblicat snapped and ended his call. Then he called Glutz. There was no answer. Then he called Kortek.
‘Yes.’
‘Overload has disappeared,’
‘I heard.’
‘So, now what?’
‘Call an extraordinary meeting of the Grand Council and call for a vote for a new President.’
‘Can we do that? It usually needs a full High Council vote.’
‘I’m not waiting around for five thousand damn High Councillors to arrive,’ Kortek snorted.
‘But will it be valid?’
‘Pull yourself together Umblicat! Get Dagnion to call a meeting of the Grand Council.’
‘Alright. Alright! For when?’
/>
‘Tomorrow.’
‘So soon?’
‘Just do it Umblicat!’ Kortek snapped.
‘Yes. Alright. No need to lose your cool.’
‘I haven’t. Let’s just get on with this, and then we can take control of the Grand Council and the Gregorian Guard.’
‘And Glothic High Command?’ Umblicat asked Kortek.
‘After we have Dagnion’s idiot nephew invested as Supreme Potentate.’
‘And the twelve traits?’
‘We don’t need them just now. Later will do. If ever.’
‘But all that we’ve done,’ Umblicat said in surprise.
‘It’s all to the same end Umblicat. We’ll only need the December idiot long enough for him to give us control of Glothic High Command. When I’m elected Grand Council President and Dagnion is elected to fill my vacancy, we can change the constitution to allow an elected Potentate.’ Kortek explained.
‘You?’
‘And you won’t be happy being President of the Grand Council Umblicat?’
‘Alright. Alright. What about our other small problem? The fool February?’
‘What can he do now? Last I heard he was stranded on Terranova Two. By the time he finds his way home, all will be in place for us. If he ever makes it back to Gloth he’ll just disappear into a cell somewhere to rot away for the rest of his life.’
‘Are you sure about all this?’ Umblicat asked hesitantly.
‘Yes Umblicat! I am sure!’ Kortek answered sharply. ‘Now get on with the arrangements. No time to lose.’
‘Yes Kortek.’
One day out from landing in Rom, April had quickly mastered Canasta and was becoming unbeatable. No matter who her partner was.
When In Rom
It was sunshine and a gentle but cool autumn breeze that welcomed Feb and his three travelling companions to a late afternoon in Rom. A small but bustling city. All were thankful to be breathing air that was fish free, but knew that they had been very fortunate to have had an event free voyage. Not a Hoog or Noorlac in sight. Feb could only assume that those who had been busy chasing him around two sun systems hadn’t considered the possibility of him trundling around Sun System One in an oversized can of fish. Either that, or the smell kept them at a safe distance. Or on the other hand, perhaps they had given up and just forgotten about the whole Fifth thing. He thought for a moment about this last thought and decided he was probably wrong.
