by Amy DeMeritt
As I’m walking back down the hall to IT, I spot Alex at the copier. She looks up as I’m about to pass her and she smiles. “You look like you are on a mission.”
“The VP is about to transform into a Cerberus if I can’t get his laptop fixed in lightning speed.”
“Three headed dog? Sounds vicious. Was it Hercules that captured him from the Underworld?” I smile, impressed she knows a bit about Greek mythology. “Wow, I can’t believe you know that. I better get going.”
“Good luck. Send up a flare if you need a demi-god hero to rescue you.” I laugh and nod. “Thanks.”
I hook up the laptop to another laptop that we use for running diagnostics and start a deep virus scan. While it runs, I work on a couple other quick tickets. The scan actually turns up four viruses. They’re not really security threats, more of just annoyances that would cause the issues he was seeing. I run a few more tests and test out the programs he was using. Everything seems to be working properly now. I install a virus protection pack to his computer and turn on settings to automatically scan all attachments he opens from any email or internet source. Typically, when a user has that many viruses that get passed our firewall and virus programs, it’s because they’re opening or looking at something they shouldn’t be. Since he’s the VP, and has a psycho temper, I can’t exactly say this to anyone so I have to take other steps to try and prevent it without him suspecting anything. He should only know something is different if he’s trying to do something he shouldn’t be on his work machine.
When I get back to his office, he’s pacing outside the door watching down the hall. Really dude? Now I wish I had dug deeper into his computer. He’s acting like he’s worried of what I might find. He looks at me with a very forced smile. Yeah, he’s guilty of something. Bastard was probably looking at porn.
“You should be all set now. I found four viruses that were causing the problems. Everything looks like it’s working well now. Do you want to test it out for me?” He takes the laptop and shakes his head. “No, that’s not necessary. I’ll just buzz Regina if I have another problem.” He doesn’t wait for a response before he walks into his office leaving me alone. Gross.
I head straight to the bathroom to scrub my hands. I don’t even want to know what he looks up on that thing. Our company has pretty lax security rules for upper management and I never understood it. But now I get it; they made the rules lax for themselves so they could look at whatever they want to. Disgusting.
Just as I’m turning the corner to head back to IT, the Cerberus resurfaces and nearly knocks me into a wall as he appears next to me with a deep red face. “What did you do? I can’t open an email attachment now. I get an error that it’s a security threat.”
“I had to update your security suite because of the types of viruses I found on your computer. If it won’t open, then it probably has something malicious attached to it or its content does not meet the company security policy.”
“Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are? What are you accusing me of?” I notice out of the corner of my eye that Alex and a few others coming down the hall have all stopped and are watching this encounter. “I’m not accusing you of anything. Viruses and malicious content can attach themselves to seemingly innocent attachments and you won’t know it’s there till it has infected your system and causes you problems. I can bypass the virus scan for a particular document, but if its infected, I’ll need to clean your computer again.”
“No, just remove whatever you did. I’m not going to have some program babysit what I do.”
“I’ll need to get approval from my manager to remove it.”
“Do you know who you’re talking to?” He quickly turns and starts heading down to IT. I inhale deeply and roll my eyes. I catch Alex’s eyes as I turn to follow him and she looks terrified, which makes me smile. I walk over to her and the rest of the gawkers clear out.
“That flare is about to go up any minute. When I finish with this idiot, you want to take a walk with me?” She smiles in a supportive way. “Absolutely, just let me know when. Good luck with him.”
When I get back to my department, Regina is standing with her hands on her hips, leaning forward slightly, giving back just as much attitude as Dog Face. “No, I looked at the ticket and the types of viruses you had on your machine are too big of threats to take the risk. Bring it back here and we will take a look at what you want to open and see if we can open and clean it before you put it on your machine.”
“You don’t need to see what I’m trying to open.”
“Then neither do you.” Oh, shit. I can’t believe she just said that. His face gets so red that I’m actually worried he might have a heart attack or stroke right now. “Bring your laptop down here or ask the person to scrub their attachment and resend it to you. That’s all I can do for you. Our job is to protect the security of the company, not coddle egos.” He literally growls at her as he storms out down the hall.
“Jordan, get your ass in my office.” I follow her inside, thinking she’s going to cuss me out for not warning her about what I did, but instead, she starts laughing hard. “Oh shit, that was genius. That perverted bastard is going to be stuck having to wait till he gets home to look at his porn now. Good work. But next time, give me a heads-up when you decide to castrate a bastard like that. Got it?” I laugh and nod. “Got it. I’m going to take a quick break. Just text me if something urgent comes up.” Regina may be the tiniest woman I’ve ever met, but she is one fiery woman not to be messed with. I would hate to see what she could do in the boxing ring.
I send Alex an instant message and she immediately responds that she’s free to take a break now. I meet her by her office and we walk out the back door to where there is a little walking path in the square between all the tall office buildings. It’s actually a nice place to go when you need to get away from your desk. The sidewalk forms a large double square with two overflowing gardens in the center of each square, and benches staggered throughout. It’s such a beautiful day out that there are a lot of people out here today.
“How did it go with the Cerberus?” I smile and chuckle a little bit as I tell her about how Regina handled it. “You really think that’s what he was looking at?”
“Probably. There’s been rumors floating around for years about his ‘insatiable appetite’ for the ‘lewd’ arts.”
“Ugh, gross. Do they have music playing out here?”
“Yeah, there are speakers hidden in the gardens.” She stops and steps closer to the garden and listens closely. After a moment, she smiles. “This sounds familiar. I think its Franz Liszt, Love Dream. He’s one of my favorite composers.”
“You like classical music?” She smiles and nods, getting back in step with me. “Classical and Jazz are my favorites, pretty much anything instrumental. I like just about any kind of music, but what really speaks to me the most is music without words. There’s just something so profoundly powerful about music that can make you feel and hear words when there are none spoken. It feels so much more personal.”
“What words do you hear or feel when you listen to this song?” She looks at me and smiles warmly. “With this particular song, I see a silent black and white film of two people that meet by chance and start to get to know each other. They become very close, sharing their likes and dislikes and becoming united at the heart in a way they’ve never been to anyone. They laugh and cry, and dance together, twirling in the sun and in the rain. They fall madly in love and spend the rest of their days doing exactly what they have always done together, sharing themselves and uniting as one heart.”
“That’s amazing that you can see something so beautiful just by hearing keys on a piano.”
“So could you if you just listen and let it speak to you. Music makes you see and feel your deepest desires and emotions in surprisingly detailed images, and to hear beautiful words in your mind and heart. It can make you relive your fondest or worst memories or encourage your hopes and dreams.”
>
“Yeah, I’m not sure if I’ve ever listened that closely before. I don’t really listen to music without words.”
“Well, try it. Go home tonight, turn on some classical music, close your eyes, and just listen to the power of the music.”
“So, if I do this, will those sweet music nymphs that inspire you come sing in my ears and make me see beautiful things?” Alex laughs and shrugs her shoulders. “Possibly.”
“I hope so. I could use some beautiful things to fill my mind instead of the horrible things I’ve been seeing and feeling lately.” She stops and frowns. “What do you mean?” I shake my head. “Nothing. Come on, I need to get back.” Alex grabs my hand and pulls me back. “Jordan, don’t do that; don’t put one foot in and one foot out.” I smile and wrap my fingers around her hand holding mine. “Tomorrow?” She smiles and nods. “Ok.”
When I get home after work, I turn my laptop on and find a “greatest hits” classical music playlist and put it on. I sit in my favorite chair and close my eyes while I listen to pianos, violins, cellos, and harps sing me their peaceful, and at times, edgy melodies.
I don’t feel like I’m doing it right. I’m not seeing anything like what Alex described. Its peaceful and relaxing, but all I can visualize is me sitting in this oversized arm chair with my head back and my eyes closed. How does Alex see and hear things that don’t exist? I start to picture her face, her eyes particularly, and try to hear her voice in my head, that sweet velvety voice. As the pianist softly splays their fingers across the length of the white and black keys, thumping out a soft slow song, like the one we heard today on our break at work, I start to see something vague appear in my mind’s eye.
I’m thirteen, wearing a baby blue sundress with my long black hair flying around wild as I run along the beach with the sun making my skin glow and tingle with warmth. I kick my feet in the water as it crashes against the shore and I laugh as a piece of seaweed gets stuck between my toes. It’s the first time I’ve been to the beach. It’s beautiful and I love the smell of the salty air.
“It’s beautiful here.” I turn around at the sound of the familiar velvety voice. She is younger and thinner, but those eyes are still mesmerizing. “Alex, dance with me in the waves?” She smiles, takes my hands, and we start twirling around in the cold wet sand with waves lapping at our bare feet and splashing our dresses.
“I wouldn’t have taken you as the dress wearing type.” I laugh and pull her in closer to me, wrapping my arms around her neck. “I never was. I wore shorts and a tank top before, but your music nymphs have painted me this pretty dress, and I love it.”
“You look lovely. Where are we now?” I look around us and the beach has disappeared and we’re now standing on a cobblestone street with brownstones on either side of us with colorfully painted shutters and wrought iron balconies brimming with hanging flowers. “I’m not sure, maybe New Orleans.” I look back at Alex and she looks like she has aged a couple years. She spins me around and pulls me in close as we waltz up the cobblestone street.
“I like it here, with you.”
She smiles and takes my hand, pulling me after her as she starts running towards a park full of beautiful white dogwood trees in bloom. The wind blows some flower petals free and we try to catch them in our hands. When we face each other, we’re older again. I pull her up to stand on a picnic bench and we hold our arms stretched out to our sides as the wind blows against us. We’re carried to the top of a lighthouse with waves crashing below us.
I turn to look at Alex, taking her hands in mine. We’re now our current age. I look in her eyes and she smiles. “I’d say that song spoke to you in a profoundly powerful way, Jordan.” Her cool hand touches my cheek and she starts to dissipate in the wind.
I open my eyes with tears streaking down my cheeks and a smile upon my lips.
Chapter Three
When I get to work the next morning, I find a CD on my desk with a sticky note that reads, “Just something to help you discover the words and dreams you’ve been missing… (the good ones)”. I smile and feel my heart palpitate in joy. I immediately turn around and head down the hall to Alex’s office. I tap on her door frame and she looks over smiling broadly.
“How did your music experiment go last night?” Without the invitation, I take a seat across from her and her smile widens. “It took a few songs before I could finally see anything, but when the imagery started, it was moving, as you said it would be. I also slept better.”
“I’m glad. Do you remember what song it was that moved you?”
“It was by Debussy, Luna something.”
“Clair de Lune? That’s an excellent one. So, no nightmares last night?” I can almost feel her cool soft hand against my cheek, as she sits across from me looking at me in a way that makes me feel like she is swaddling me and rocking me on her chest. “I don’t remember dreaming anything, actually, but that’s a good thing compared to the night before.” I give her a quick recap on my lost day and night from a few days ago and my nightmare from the night before.
When I finish, Alex comes around her desk to sit in the chair next to me and takes my hand. “Jordan, I’m so sorry you experienced that. It sounds terrifying. What did you see when you listened to Debussy?” I smile and close my eyes, remembering it. “It first transported me back in time to the first time I ever saw a real ocean beach. Then I think I was in New Orleans. Then in a park full of beautiful dogwood trees; the ones with the pretty white flowers. It ended with me being at the top of a light house on a rocky shore.” I open my eyes and Alex is looking at me with a smile. “You were there. It was weird because we both were only thirteen on the beach, but we aged each new place we went and were our current age by the time we were standing at the top of the light house.”
“That sounds like a beautiful journey. I’ve actually never been to a real beach, a light house, or New Orleans, so thank you for sharing it and taking me with you. I do love dogwood trees though. My great-aunt has them on her property and I love to sit under one and just read a good paperback till the sun is too low in the sky to see the print on the pages.”
“What book?” She smiles and releases my hand before standing to walk to the other side of her desk. She pulls out a book from the top drawer of her desk and pushes it across her desk for me to look at. “Water for Elephants, what’s this about?”
“Well, the story is about a young man that runs away to join the circus, meets the love of his life, and meets tragedies and joys on his journey of learning how to truly live and dream. Years later, after his wife passes, he finds himself old and alone in a nursing home dreaming about the past and dreaming about living for real. In the end, he decides to run away and spend his remaining days with the circus. Essentially, the message is that we all dream, young and old, sick and healthy, but we all should choose to live above dreaming, and if while you are living you can realize your dreams, then you should.”
“That sounds like a sad story.”
“It has its sad moments, but the overall message is meant to uplift and inspire.”
“What if I don’t have any dreams to realize? What if this is all I am, just a short girl that is good with computers and a mediocre boxer?”
“I don’t believe that, Jordan. We’re never only what we see on the surface. You need to look deeper. Have you been to a lake or a pond before?” I nod. “Ever notice how when you look at the surface of a pond that you only really see what’s reflected in its surface, kind of like a murky mirror? But then a fish swims by close to the surface and suddenly, you not only see the fish, but you can see some vegetation you hadn’t noticed before. The closer you look, the more you can see. But when you stick your foot or hand in, you can see so much more with your sense of touch. It’s not just what you see with your eyes that matters; use all of your senses to see and it will open up a new world, a whole new you.”
“Will you teach me how to run away to the circus?” She smiles broadly and nods. “Absolutely. I have a meeting
this morning. Can I treat lunch today?” I stand to leave and nod with a smile. “See you in a few hours.”
I spend the next few hours working through tickets in a bit of a daze. What’s below my surface? Who am I aside from the slightly snarky at times, comedic at others, short boxing IT girl? What do I aspire to?
When Alex messages me that she’s ready to take lunch, I practically leap out of my desk and fly down the hall. It feels like this whole day has just been filler for what really matters – having lunch with Alex.
We climb into her car, after she insists on driving us today, and she asks, “What would you like to eat?” I look at Alex and shake my head. “Your treat, your pick.” She smiles and starts pulling out of the parking spot. A few minutes later, we’re parking in front of a place called The Farm Table.
“This is my favorite place to eat out at. They use only fresh all natural ingredients and use them in their purest form possible.”
“Sounds perfect. That’s how I always try to eat. Pure, simple, and whole.”
After we’re seated by a hostess, I look over the menu and smile. “I’ve never eaten flowers before. Have you tried this ‘chicken in a flower garden salad’?”
“Yes, and it’s one of my favorites. You should try it.” I promptly close my menu and push it slightly forward with a smile. “Whatever my dream guide or shaman recommends.” She laughs and places her menu on top of mine. “Have you thought about that since we spoke this morning?”
