by Ashley Jade
On second thought, I should have taken my chances with Morgan because I’ve been spotted.
Sawyer’s big brown eyes cut to mine. I’m about to compliment her on her figure-flattering bathing suit, but she hisses, “Seriously?” Wide-eyed, she juts her chin toward the front door. “Oakley is right outside.”
Sawyer promised my secrets were safe with her, but I can tell they’re slowly eating her alive because she’s close friends with him too.
“It’s not my fault she got hungry.”
She pinches the bridge of her nose. “You have to tell him.”
I have every intention of informing Oakley about Morgan’s obsession with my cunt.
If the fucker ever decides to talk to me again instead of constantly avoiding me.
“I will…when the time is right.”
She shakes her head. “Not good enough. The longer this goes on behind his back the worse it will hurt him.”
I raise a brow. She’s got to be kidding me.
“Hurt him?” A laugh flies out of my mouth. “You know he’s not actually into her, right? They’re just using each other.”
Sawyer does that little nervous shuffle with her feet. “I have no idea how he feels about her. All I know is sneaking behind his back is wrong. He deserves to know—”
“Who deserves to know what?” Oakley interjects as he waltzes inside like he owns the place.
Given he’s renting the guesthouse and all…I guess he sort of does.
I glare at Sawyer, warning her to keep her trap shut.
My friend tries to clear the anxiety out of her throat but fails as she gestures to the envelope in her hand.
“I booked a spa day for me and Bianca for her birthday…but the only appointment I could get us was during Cole’s first game next season.” She looks at me accusingly as she shoves the envelope in my hand. “Bianca thinks I should lie and make him think I went and left early, but I told her that lying to people you care about isn’t cool.”
With that, she scampers off.
I have to stifle another laugh. There’s a reason my brother’s nickname for her is Bible Thumper. Not only does she regularly attend church—because she actually enjoys it—she’s one of the most generous, caring people on the planet.
With the exception of her stint with Adderall a little over a year ago, lying isn’t something you’ll catch her doing.
But I can’t worry about her conflicted feelings right now, because he’s standing right in front of me.
Eyes as blue as the ocean, dark blond hair that hangs just above his ears, well-defined cheekbones, perfect chiseled jaw, and a full bottom lip just begging to be nibbled on—he is utter perfection.
“Hi—”
“Have you seen Morgan?”
If I was anyone else, he’d have a conversation with me and Morgan would be the furthest thing from his mind.
But shit’s different between us now.
All because I caught feelings after a kiss that was never meant for me.
And the only thing he caught was the need to distance himself from me like I was poison.
“She’s in the bathroom.”
Wiping my pussy juice off her mouth.
An awkward silence descends until the bathroom door opens and Morgan comes bouncing out.
“Bathroom’s all yours, bitch,” she seethes, knocking her shoulder against mine.
I stick out my foot as she walks past me, relishing when she trips on her way to Oakley.
“I don’t need it. I was in there before you, remember?”
Morgan blinks, clearly caught off guard before she recovers. “Whatever.”
Rising on her tiptoes, she folds her arms around Oakley’s neck and plants a kiss on his lips. “What are we doing tonight?”
“Not sure.” He pulls her in for another kiss and I can’t help but notice the side-eye he gives me as he leans in. Like he’s intentionally trying to hurt me. “But I want more of these lips.” Reaching down, he grabs a handful of her ass. “You taste good, boo.”
I bet she does.
Smirking, I hold his gaze. “On second thought, maybe I should go fix my makeup since I never got a chance to...given I was getting my pussy licked and all.”
Morgan goes rigid.
Confusion spreads across Oakley’s face.
My smirk widens as I back into the bathroom and slam the door.
Mission accomplished.
Needless to say, things are the epitome of awkward after that.
Well, for Oakley and Morgan.
I’m happier than a pig in shit because I’m positive Oakley’s going to dump her ass before the night is over.
Happy Birthday indeed.
All smiles, I trot over to the grill and take a big bite of my veggie burger.
I wasn’t always a vegetarian, but ten years ago Liam decided he wanted to become vegan because his bleeding heart grew tired of people killing and eating animals.
The vegan stage didn’t last long though—the boy loved milk and cheese too much—but he pledged to stop eating meat altogether.
Jace and Cole would rather cut off their left arms than give up steaks and burgers, but I had no problem joining him in solidarity.
Because he was my big brother.
My favorite person in the world.
Given he’s dead, I suppose I could eat whatever I want, but breaking my promise to him feels wrong.
Absentmindedly, I reach for my St. Christopher pendant and the feather I wear on a necklace, but a familiar voice zaps me out of my thoughts.
“Happy birthday, beautiful!” Hayley cheerfully yells as she and some guy walk through the gate into my back yard.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Oakley tense up. Good.
Hayley is Oakley’s ex-girlfriend. Only unlike Morgan who was a mega cunt to me back in the day, Hayley’s actually a sweetheart.
Something tells me Oakley will always look at her as the proverbial one who got away.
Which makes her an even bigger threat than Morgan, and I need to keep her far away.
It’s just one of the reasons why I’ve taken her under my wing and have her believing we’re besties.
Besties who hook up every now and then.
Because the more she wants me…the less she wants Oakley.
And the more I corrupt her…the more dirt I’ll have on her.
Dirt that will hurt him.
I smack a quick kiss on Hayley’s cheek. “Hey.”
My eyes flick over to the guy standing next to her. He’s average height. Medium build. Dark eyes and hair. Not bad looking by any means, but far from my type.
However, he’ll do.
“Who’s your friend?”
She gives me a knowing smile. “Zack.”
“Hey,” he says. “Hayley’s told me a lot about you.”
Has she now?
Zack holds out his hand, but I dismiss it. “Good things I hope.”
He licks his lips, appraising me from head to toe. “Very good things.”
Yeah, the three of us are definitely going to have some fun tonight.
I’m about to take Zack’s hand, but Jace beats me to it.
He shakes it so hard he practically rips Zack’s limb off. “I’m her older brother.”
As if on cue, Cole slaps Zack’s back. Hard.
“So am I.”
Annoyance bubbles in my chest. Fucking vultures.
Wincing, Zack nods. “Hi. I’m…” His voice trails off.
“My new boyfriend,” Hayley cuts in, coming to his rescue.
Jace and Cole exchange a glance.
“Then I suggest you keep those eyeballs on your girl instead of my baby sister, pal,” Jace growls before turning back to the grill.
“Unless you want to lose said eyeballs,” Cole threatens before taking a ferocious bite of his burger.
Poor Zack looks like he’s about to shit himself. Pussy.
“All right, dial the testosterone down, boys,” Sawyer jokes, sidling up to
her fiancé.
“Don’t mind them,” Dylan adds as she playfully swats Jace’s behind and kisses his shoulder blade. “They’re grumpy when they’re hungry.”
The anger in Jace’s eyes is quickly replaced by lust. Gross.
Sawyer plates two burgers and hands them to Hayley and Zack. “Here. They’re really good.”
Cole shoots her a death glare, but she rises on her tiptoes and kisses his nose. “Relax, Colton.”
My brother softens like butter in the midday sun.
If either of them are expecting a thank you from me for running interference they’d have better luck spotting a unicorn shitting glitter.
More uneasiness ensues when Morgan and Oakley walk over and load up their plates.
“Hey,” Hayley practically squeaks to her ex.
Oakley beams, dimples and all. “Hey. How you been?”
What the actual fucking fuck?
I’ve done nothing wrong to him, yet he’s treated me worse than the crud on the bottom of his shoes for the last two years.
But Hayley—his freaking ex—says hello to him and he acts like she painted a goddamn rainbow in the sky.
It’s not fair.
He’s the only one I want…and the only one I can’t have.
So help me God, I might just kill the bitch tonight.
I throw my paper plate and my half-eaten burger on the ground.
It’s not even my actual birthday yet and it’s already one of the worst ones I’ve ever had.
I’m so tired of not being good enough for him.
So tired of bleeding my heart out for someone who hates me.
All because of a kiss.
My mom was right.
No drug in the world screws you up more than love does.
“Maybe you two should give Bianca her present,” Sawyer urges my brothers, shooting me a sympathetic look.
I don’t want her sympathy.
I just want my family back.
And for the guy I want to stop treating me like I’m evil incardinate.
Jace and Cole exchange another glance before Jace wipes his hands off with a towel.
He looks nervous.
So does Cole.
Which means their present must be kick-ass and something I actually want.
Hands on my hips, I glare at them. “What is it?”
The suspense is killing me.
Jace blows out a heavy breath. “Well, after some consideration Cole and I decided you—”
“Have our permission to get a tattoo,” Cole finishes with a big grin.
“A small one,” Jace grits through his teeth.
“And nowhere skanky,” Cole adds.
Irritation races over my skin. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
The way their faces twist in bewilderment makes it clear they’re not.
“I’m eighteen,” I remind them, taking several steps forward. “Which means I don’t need anyone’s permission to do what I want to my body.”
Back when I was sixteen Jace, Cole, Dylan, and Sawyer all got matching butterfly tattoos in memory of Liam.
I begged Jace to take me to get one, but he refused.
He said I was too young. Even though he got his first tattoo when he was sixteen.
Christ. I am so sick of them constantly treating me like I’m a baby.
It’s like everyone has blinders on and no one can see or hear me…even though I’m standing in a room screaming my lungs out.
“Liam would have gotten me something amazing,” I whisper. “Something I actually wanted.”
Probably something to do with psychology—my favorite subject.
Because Liam knew me.
He wanted to.
Everyone else is too scared to get inside my fucked-up head, so they don’t bother.
Everyone else is so preoccupied with their own scars…they don’t give a fuck about mine.
Everyone else keeps me at a distance…because they can’t handle me.
Fuck everyone.
The pain etched on their faces tells me my words pierced through them like a silver bullet. Good.
They dealt with their guilt over Liam’s death and got their happily ever after’s in the process.
All while leaving me behind in this hellhole.
Alone.
Hurting.
Incapable of telling my secrets to a single soul.
Because I’ll break what’s left of our fucked-up family.
I love them enough I’d never do that to them.
Too bad they don’t love me enough to see past the façade.
The broken little girl living in the shadows.
All they see is the wicked bitch who will manipulate the hell out of your existence and break you before allowing you to get too close.
On instinct, my eyes flick to Oakley.
Fuck him.
I’m going to make him regret every second of hating me if it’s the last thing I fucking do.
No one says a word, but I can feel Dylan scowling at me. I’m about to walk over and punch that scowl right off her face, but my dad walks outside.
“Sorry for being late.” He chuckles nervously. “It’s awfully quiet for a party. Everything okay?”
The fact that he’s even here right now is mind-boggling.
It’s no secret he spends more time at work than he does with his kids.
So much so I’d listen to Jace before I’d ever listen to him.
“What are you doing here?”
Good thing he was smart enough not to bring his girlfriend Nadia, or it would have been a straight-up shit show in this bitch.
He looks at Jace. “Jace—”
“I invited him,” Jace utters, appearing uneasy.
I want to point out that it’s not really an invite considering it’s his house and all, but there’s something way more important happening here.
No one hates our father more than Jace does, so the fact that he invited him to be part of this is…strange.
My stare snags on my older brother. “Why?”
“Because it’s your birthday.” He averts his gaze. “I wanted everyone who cares about you to be here to celebrate.”
And just like that I feel like an asshole.
Because that is something Liam would have done.
I don’t particularly want Dad here, but Jace reaching out to our father is the equivalent of him walking across burning coals barefoot.
“Oh.” I peer up at our dad. “Hi, Daddy.”
His face lights up like the Fourth of July, those green eyes—eyes that look exactly like Cole’s and Liam’s—twinkling. “Hi, sweetheart.” Reaching over, he ruffles my hair like he used to when I was a kid. “Happy Birthday.”
I bite my tongue as not to point out that my actual birthday is still three days away.
“Thanks.”
I don’t know what to make of the look on his face. “I can’t believe you’re eighteen. Seems like just yesterday we were taking you home from the hospital.” A ghost of a smile curves his lips. “Your mother…” He swallows hard, not willing to finish that sentence.
My mother always wanted a girl.
She had to birth three boys before she got her wish, and when she finally did…she almost died during childbirth from the blood loss.
Luckily, she didn’t.
Unfortunately, I only had eight years with her before she did.
There’s so much agony in his expression it steals my breath. “God, you look so much like her.”
I stiffen.
Cole pales.
Jace’s jaw tics.
Before she fell in love and Daddy whisked her off to America, my mother was the most gorgeous and talented Bollywood actress of her generation.
With her tan, flawless skin, big brown eyes full of depth, high cheekbones, slightly upturned nose, long dark hair, full lips and dazzling smile…she was utterly perfect.
I consider myself fortunate to have ended up inheriting her looks, and you
bet your ass I use them to my advantage.
Beautiful girls have it much easier in life.
And despite what my mom did…I know she wanted the best for me.
However, she also wanted me to be smarter and stronger than she was.
Which—I can only assume—is why she made me promise not to fall in love.
Never let a man steal my heart because he’d ultimately shatter it and ruin me.
Men were toxic, and sooner or later they would fuck you over.
Therefore, it was important to use them while they used you and suck whatever you could out of them before it was too late.
Clearing his throat, my father takes what looks like a jewelry box out of his pocket.
“I got you something.”
I try to hide my annoyance as I snatch the box from him. Lord knows the man has given me tons of diamonds and jewels throughout the years and I don’t want any more.
I’m about to open it, but he halts me. “Wait.” He glances around at everyone. “Let’s take a walk out front.”
I eye Jace as we all start trekking to the front of the house. “What’s he doing?”
He shrugs, appearing just as confused as I am. “I have no idea.”
We’re almost to the driveway when my father looks at me. “You can open it now.”
Begrudgingly, I do.
Trepidation crawls up my spine as I finger the black key fob with a Mercedes logo on it.
Please tell me he didn’t.
Sure enough, there’s a pink Mercedes convertible parked in the driveway.
Instantaneously, panic claws at my chest and I reach for my pendant.
He knows I can’t drive.
He knows I’ll never drive.
I can’t…I don’t…
I don’t want to die like she did.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I croak.
Everyone looks baffled…everyone but Jace and Cole because for once, this is something they understand.
Pink Mercedes.
A Mercedes…just like my mom’s.
My stomach rolls as the sound of metal crushing against metal assaults my ears.
A fresh new wave of panic grips me by the throat and my knees start wobbling. I’m gonna die.
“I don’t—” our father starts to say until Jace cuts him off.
“Bianca doesn’t drive.”
“I know that, Jace. But I think it’s about time she learned. I found a top-notch driving instructor—”
I throw the key fob at him. “Take it back. I don’t want it.”
