by Ashley Jade
Blood rushes in my ears and my heart thuds in my ribcage like a warning drum.
“Oakley.”
It comes out like a plea, but I don’t know if it’s to beg him to stop or to keep going.
His voice is pure gravel. “Tell me what you need.”
If only it were that simple.
My mind reels and my breath grows shorter.
It would be so easy to give in and lose myself in him.
Use him to escape from everything I’m scared of.
But I can’t.
My throat feels like sandpaper as I give him my response. “I need to go home.”
Chapter 37
Bianca
Incessant knocking on my door has me bolting up in bed.
I glance over at my alarm clock and curse.
Anyone who knows me, knows how much I value sleep, therefore waking me up at the asscrack of dawn is a sure-fire way to get under my skin.
Grumbling, I stomp to the door and swing it open. “What the fuck do—”
The rest of my sentence falls by the wayside when I see Stone standing there…looking like someone killed his puppy.
“Hi.”
He shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Can we talk?”
I’d honestly rather have a root canal, but I know we have to do this.
Stepping aside, I gesture for him to come in. “Do you want some water—”
His kiss takes me by surprise and for a moment my brain temporarily fritzes out.
I gently push him away. “Stone—”
“No,” he says. “Just let me get this out before I lose my nerve.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I love you, Bianca. And I hate how things have been between us lately.” He gets down on one knee. “But I’ll do anything, and I mean anything to fix this…fix us.”
Oh, boy.
I appreciate that he’s finally acknowledging there’s been something off with our relationship, but I’m not ready to walk down the aisle.
“I’m not ready to get married,” I confess. “I should have told you earlier, but I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Or admit that I made a mistake by saying yes in the first place.
Especially after I fought my family tooth and nail to be with him.
“Let’s postpone the wedding then,” he says. “We can wait until you’re ready and work on our relationship in the meantime. Get things back on track.”
There’s a weird twinge in my chest.
He might be offering to put me in a bigger cage now that the wedding is off the table…
But it’s still a cage.
I give him complete honesty because it’s what he deserves. “Stone, I can’t even remember parts of my life. Everything is so confusing and—”
“I know it is.” He thumps his chest. “Because I was there, remember? I was the one who was there when you were trying to put yourself back together. I was the one helping you pick up the pieces of your life.” His eyes narrow. “Not him.”
I can’t deny that.
Not only was Stone there for me every step of the way, he took me under his wing and made me feel safe and protected…something I needed after the accident.
But I’m not so sure he’s what I need now.
I also have to make one thing abundantly clear to him.
“This has nothing to do with Oakley.” Heart full of lead, I take off my engagement ring. “I’m sorry—”
“No,” he chokes out. “Don’t give up on us.” Burying his head against my stomach, he peers up at me with teary eyes. “Give me another chance. We don’t have to get married right now, but don’t end this, Bourne. I need you.”
My own tears threaten to break free as he continues.
“I’d fucking die for you, Bianca. Rip my beating heart out of my chest and hand it to you on a silver platter if that’s what you wanted.” He pushes my ring back on my finger. “Don’t give up on me. Please. Not yet. Not until I prove why it should be us…why it’s always been us.”
Oh, God.
His words. The sheer desperation in his eyes.
The fact that I still care about him deeply…despite all our issues.
The nagging feeling in my gut telling me not to end things between us without at least trying to work it out first.
“Okay,” I whisper.
I find Oakley cleaning an empty classroom after my psych class lets out.
“Hey.”
His lips curve into a smirk when he sees me. Almost like he was expecting me to come find him.
“Hey, you.”
“So,” I begin, walking over to him. “I was thinking we could catch a movie tonight. You know, venture outside of my dorm room for once.”
“Tired of keeping me your dirty little secret, huh?” he teases.
He’s not exactly wrong, but he knows I have my reasons for it. “Very funny.”
His blue eyes roam over me like lava. “We can catch a movie.” White teeth sink into his bottom lip, almost like he’s thinking. “As long as it’s not a chick flick.”
Rolling my eyes, I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “Fine. No chick flicks. We can see the new action—”
Words die in my throat when his blue eyes narrow on something and his expression shuts down.
I blink. “What’s wrong?”
His jaw hardens and he goes back to sweeping. “You’re still wearing his ring.”
I suddenly feel exposed, like I’m standing stark naked in a room full of people.
It’s a struggle to find my voice. “Yeah, I…Stone came by my dorm this morning and we kind of worked things out. I mean, the wedding is postponed, but…”
I let my sentence trail off because I’m babbling like an idiot.
Oakley clutches the handle of the broom so tight his knuckles turn white. “Good for you.”
It’s clear he doesn’t actually mean the sentiment.
Suddenly, he walks past me like I’m nothing more than a piece of furniture.
His anger is so palpable…so intense…I can taste it.
“Oakley.”
He pauses. “On second thought, tonight doesn’t work for me.”
With that, he stalks off.
Taking pieces of my heart with him.
Chapter 38
Oakley
I shouldn’t be mad at her.
I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to be friends.
But goddamn it, I’m fucking furious.
Even if she doesn’t find her way back to me, no way in fuck should she be with him.
The douchebag is all wrong for her.
Anyone who’s paying close attention can tell she’s not nearly as happy as she’s pretending to be with him.
“You can take your lunch break now if you want,” my boss informs me as I place the mop and bucket back into the closet. “You look like you need one.”
I don’t say a word as I slam the closet door and start trekking across campus.
Resentment mixed with pain simmers in my gut as I head toward the lake.
My head tells me to walk away from the bullshit…
But my heart tells me to fight for her.
Because she’s worth it.
Because I love her.
Because she went down fighting for us.
“You better stay the hell away from her,” someone snarls.
When I look up, I realize I’m face to face with the biggest scumbag on the planet.
Unfortunately, he picked the wrong day to confront me.
“I suggest you walk the fuck away before I rip your puny arm off and bitch slap your ugly face with it.”
I want to wipe the arrogant smile off his lips when he leans in. “Last time I checked you were technically a faculty member, so I suggest you stay in your lane unless you want to lose this piece of shit job over assaulting a student.”
Jesus Christ. What a fucking pussy.
He’s too scared to approach me without a safety net because he kn
ows I’ll beat the living shit out of him and make him regret the day he was born.
Edging away, he pops the collar of his shirt. “Like I was saying, stay away from my fiancée, chump.”
“Ex-fiancée,” I remind him. “Or did you not get the memo?”
He bristles before he recovers. “You mean the memo that she’s still wearing my ring.”
He’s got me there.
However, I’d rather die than let him know how much that guts me.
“Not for long,” I muse.
Taking a step back, Stone cackles like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. “Bianca’s a smart girl. Do you really think she’d give up everything we have to be with some murdering junkie whose biggest accomplishment in life is becoming a janitor?”
Pure wrath races through my veins and my hands are wrapped around his throat before I can stop myself.
He starts coughing and choking, but that only makes me tighten my grip. I want nothing more than to squeeze every drop of life out of him and get rid of this problem forever.
Closing the distance, I bring my lips to his ear because I want him to hear what I’m about to say loud and fucking clear.
“I might be a murdering junkie, but you’re nothing but a scared little boy whose balls still haven’t dropped.” I can tell I’m scaring the shit out of him because his eyes widen with fear. “And you have every right to be scared…because she doesn’t look at you the way she looks at me.”
She never will.
This weasel is just a pathetic, piss-poor understudy.
I’m the man she loved first.
“Oakley, stop,” someone who sounds a lot like Dylan shouts.
Next thing I know, she’s trying to wedge herself between us and pry us apart.
“Oakley, please,” she begs.
“I’m gonna have you arrested,” Stone wheezes when I release my grip. “Say goodbye to your freedom, asshole, because you just signed your ticket back to jail.”
Goddammit.
I flip him the bird. “Suck my dick, you pussy motherfucker.”
“Not so fast,” Dylan says when Stone brings his phone to his ear. “You’re not calling the police.”
“The fuck I’m not,” Stone argues.
I step toward him. “Do it, bitch. I don’t give a fuck. I’ll finish whooping that ass before the cops show up.”
It will suck to go back to jail, but I’m sure as shit not gonna let him think he’s got my balls in a vise.
I can see the panic in Dylan’s eyes as she places her hand on my chest. “He’s my family, Stone.”
Stone starts pressing buttons on his cell. “I don’t care.”
I seriously regret not popping his head off like the goddamn weed he is.
Dylan snatches his phone away. “If you do this, I’ll be upset…and you really don’t want to upset me. Because if you do? You’ll upset Jace. And we all know what happens when Jace gets upset.”
Yeah…he puts people in the hospital.
Like Stone’s piece of shit brother Tommy.
He seizes his phone from her hand. “Whatever.”
With that, he runs off like the little bitch boy he is.
Dylan turns her furious glare on me. “What the hell is wrong with you, Oak? Are you trying to go back to jail?”
“He started it.”
She cocks an eyebrow. “Seriously? What are you, five?”
“It’s the truth,” I growl. “I was minding my own business and he started with me.”
She rubs her forehead. “And somehow your hand ended up wrapped around his throat because…”
“He’s a motherfucking piece of shit pussy bitch baby.”
Exasperated, she throws up her hands. “Gee, that really clears things up.”
“I’m serious, Dylan. The douchebag can’t deal with the fact that Bianca doesn’t want to get married and called off the wedding, and he thinks starting with me will fix it.”
Dylan opens and closes her mouth like a fish. “Bianca called off the wedding?”
“Yeah. Last I heard anyway.”
She blows out a breath. “Wow. I mean, I definitely don’t think it’s a bad thing.” She wags a finger in my face. “But what is a bad thing is you fighting.”
“The fucker deserved it.”
“That may be true, but you have a rap sheet now and the last thing you need is to be on the cops’ radar again because they will haul you back to jail.” She puts her arm around my waist. “Come on, I’ll buy you lunch and we can talk.”
We start walking…until I recall what she said the other week. “Dylan?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you really think I have what it takes to be a songwriter?”
She smiles. “I really do, Oak.”
I mull this over for a hot minute.
Stone’s comment about me only amounting to a janitor shouldn’t bother me.
But it does.
All my life I’ve always done the bare minimum. Never branching out.
Never believing in myself.
Because I’ve been too afraid of screwing shit up to even try in the first place.
“Do you think you can give that Landon dude a call?”
Chapter 39
Bianca
My heels clack as I make my way up the staircase leading to his apartment.
Oakley’s obviously upset with me, but instead of talking to me about it…he’s avoiding me.
And I’ve had about enough of it.
Making a fist, I bang on his door so loud my hand hurts.
I don’t give a fuck that it’s early in the morning or that it’s his day off, I need him to talk to me now, dammit.
The door swings open after my seventh knock.
I have to remind myself to breathe when he answers it wearing nothing more than a pair of gray sweatpants.
He brings the spoon from the bowl of cereal he’s munching on to his mouth. “Hey—”
“You promised,” I yell. “You pinky promised you wouldn’t leave me, yet the first time I do something you don’t like, you get upset and abandon ship.” I stab the air with my finger. “Not fucking cool, Oakley Zelenka. I know me being with Stone is hard for you to swallow, but you don’t get to stand there and get butthurt over the decisions I make when you won’t even tell me what happened between us.”
He takes another bite of his cereal, studying me carefully as he chews. “You done yet?” I watch the muscles in his throat work as he swallows. “For your information, I was gonna ask if you wanted to chill today.”
I clench my hands. “Then why didn’t you?”
His lips curve into a smirk as he glances at his watch. “Because it’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, and you’re not a morning person.”
He’s got me there.
“Oh.”
My stomach tightens when he takes a step closer. The look in his eyes is downright feral. “And just so we’re clear, baby girl. I don’t give a fuck about your little boyfriend.”
And just like that, he reduced Stone to nothing more than a crumb on a counter.
I’m about to suggest that maybe it’s best we don’t talk about him, but he says, “Let me get dressed and I’ll take you out to breakfast before we go on our adventure.”
Not that he didn’t already, but it’s safe to say he has my undivided attention. “Adventure? What kind of adventure?”
Back to munching on his cereal again, he simply winks. “You’ll see.”
I stare at the building in confusion.
When Oakley said we were going on an adventure today, I had no idea he meant doing something so…permanent.
I shuffle my feet nervously because the idea of needles and ink going into my skin doesn’t sit well with me. “Do I have to get one, too?”
He shakes his head. “Nope. You’re just here for moral support.”
“Aw,” I tease. “You need me to hold your hand?”
His eyes are so haunted it hurts my heart. “Always.”
>
With that, he opens the door and we amble inside.
I watch as Oakley gives some big burly dude behind the counter a fist bump. “What up, man?”
“I’m good to go whenever you’re ready,” the guy tells him.
My curiosity grows as we all walk to a room in the back of the shop.
“What are you getting?”
That mysterious glint in his eye is back again. “You’ll see.”
Oakley takes a seat on a big black chair and I plop down on the one across from it.
The man starts setting up shop, and a moment later I hear the buzzing from the tattoo machine.
I blink in confusion when I realize the guy is tattooing Oakley’s fingers.
“You’re getting your fingers tattooed?”
I’m not trying to judge, but that’s one hell of a place to be inked.
He merely nods like it’s no big deal.
However, it is a big deal. This is something that will be on his skin for the rest of his life.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because I want to,” he deadpans.
Feeling protective, I give the man doing his tattoo a warning glance. “You better not fuck up.”
The guy’s eyes widen. “I’m sorry. Who are you?”
Oakley laughs. “She’s my—”
“Bianca,” I interject. “I’m his Bianca, and your worst nightmare because if you fuck his tattoo up, I will shove my heel into your asshole.”
Oakley and the guy exchange a bemused glance before he goes back to tattooing him.
Walking around, I study the various pictures on the wall. There are so many different styles. Some bright and colorful, others dark and shaded.
As much as needles scare me, I’d be lying if I said the idea of getting a tattoo didn’t equally intrigue me.
It occurs to me that if I want one so bad…maybe I should go ahead and do it.
Take life by the balls and live a little.
“I want one.”
Oakley doesn’t look at all surprised by my declaration.
