“Damn right,” Ghost slams his hand down on the table.
“I don't care what y'all think of me for this. I know I'm a paranoid fuck. But I almost lost my daughter to cunts we believed weren't as much of a threat as they were. I will never risk another woman's life if I can help it. No matter how small the risk.”
“You're doing the right thing, Prez.”
Shepard tips his head at Gunner, big bastard of a guy. Loyal as fuck to every member of this club.
“Right, just one woman left to convince.”
“And who's that, Jett?” Whoever it is we have to convince her to go. But short of kidnapping her – which we'd never do after the hell Willow went through – there's not much else we can do. We can't force anyone to do anything they really don't want to do. Although I know Jett will if he feels it's what's best for them.
“Willow.” My eyes dart to Jett. Did he just say Willow?
“When we spoke to her this mornin' she told us in no uncertain terms that she wouldn't be going anywhere. She doesn't give a damn about anyone hurting her. The girl's crazy.”
“Why would she refuse to go? She has to know this is for the best, that she'll be safer at the compound than here where anything can happen to her? She of all people should know what could happen.”
“I don't know, Tank, but I can't have her...” I tune them out.
Shit, this is all my fault. She won't go because of what I said to her. I made her think I regretted saving her. Fuck! I was angry but I didn't fuckin' mean it. She thinks I blame her for Cindy's death. I don't blame anybody but me.
Yeah, I'm pissed that she didn't tell me that she was with Cindy the day she was taken. I still don't understand that at all. But she has to know that if she'd died that day, the day Crack slit her throat, it would have killed me all over again. She's the only bit of light left in my life. The only thing that keeps me from losing myself to the darkness completely.
Then why be such a cruel bastard to her, asshole?!
“Hammer!”
“What?” Shit, I wasn't paying attention, again. I wouldn't be surprised if Shepard kicks my ass right now.
“You're no good to me like this. I need your mind on what's going on. Whatever the fuck is on your mind, let it go, before you get yourself or one of us killed!”
“You're right, Prez. I'm sorry. I'm one hundred percent focused, I swear it.” He gives me a concerned look before finally nodding.
“Get the women packed up and ready to leave for the safe house by nightfall, I want them all on lockdown as of right now. Drive your ladies down in the trucks. The rest of you will follow on your bikes. I will not lose another woman to fuckers who think they can threaten this club. As for those cunts? As soon as I have all the info, we'll attack. I want those bastards wiped off the face of the fucking earth. We are the Mother Charter, I want them to know exactly who the fuck they're dealing with!”
The cheers are deafening. I'd join in if I could find the enthusiasm. But all I can think about is getting to Willow and making her understand.
I've been searching for her for hours. Fuckin' hours and she's nowhere to be found. I'd told Shepard that I'd talk to her about going to the safe house. I will not fuckin' leave her behind. I will not lose her! I said some mean shit to her, but there is nothing I won't do to protect her.
I've called the few friends she still talks to, none of them have seen her. She's not with her parents or her brother, the last place to look is Nova and Tank's.
My brother opens the door and leads me into the modern kitchen with all the mod cons that Nova insisted on and hands me a bottled beer from the huge ass fridge. She's here, I can hear her talking with Nova in the next room. That alone eases my weary mind.
“Thanks for callin' and lettin' me know she was here,” I state sarcastically.
“She's been here five minutes. I was about to let you know when you knocked on the door.”
“She goin' with the others?” He shakes his head. “Why the fuck is she being so damn stubborn?”
“I don't know, brother. Something must have happened. I haven't seen her this deflated in weeks. I thought she was getting on with things. Moving forward, ya know?” I nod my head, even though I have a damn good idea what's bugging her.
Yeah, you, you cunt!
“She has to go, Hammer. We can't have her left behind while we're fightin' these motherfuckers. I thought Willow of all people would have been the first one to agree to go.”
Yeah, unless she's hoping to be taken again, hoping they kill her this time so she can finally be free of the guilt she carries. This isn't the way, dammit!
Maybe the only way for either of us to move forward, to finally let go of the guilt, is to be together. I've denied what I feel for her long enough. And no matter how angry I am with her for not telling me the truth about Cindy, I won't let her fuck with her own life like this. I don't give a shit what I have to do, she's going into hiding with the rest of the women or so help me!
“I'll make her go.”
“You can't make her do anythin', Hammer.”
“Wanna bet?” I lean forward, dropping my beer on the oak table in front of me. “She's my old lady, she'll do exactly what I tell her to.”
“Your old lady?” He looks at me skeptically. “Are you kiddin'? Since when?”
“Since right now.” I'm out of the room before he can say anything else.
I rip open the living room door, both girls jump a mile at the sudden invasion. My eyes lock with Willow's, she looks fuckin' terrified of me. I never wanted to see that look in her eyes. I don't want her to be scared of me. Not me.
I rake my eyes over her body, tight jeans, tank top, a choker around her neck, hair in a scruffy bun. Sexy as fuck!
“Hammer, is there a problem?” I don't even look at Nova, I'm not interested in her at all. She's a good friend, but she's my brother's soon-to-be wife and I don't need her interfering right now. Even if Willow is her sister.
I grab Willow's arm, physically lifting her off the couch and dragging her from the room whimpering in fear. I don't wanna scare her, but I need her to listen to me and listen good. I cannot, and will not, allow her to fuck with her life like this.
I vaguely hear Tank telling Nova not to get involved, that it's between Willow and me. But I'm not bothered at all about either of them.
Willow yanks on my hand, trying to get me to let go. This little slip of a woman has no chance against a man my size. “Stop fighting me, Will, it won't help you right now.”
“What are you going to do to me?” She all but whispers, stopping me in my tracks.
I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath. She thinks I'm going to hurt her. I would fuckin' cut my own hands off first!
“Get on the bike.” She shakes her head, fear swimming in her eyes. I relax my stance a little, letting the tension fall from me. I will not have Willow scared of me. Not her.
I smile softly at her. “I just want to talk to you.” I tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “There's a lot for us to talk about, don't you think?” She bites her lower lip nervously and nods her head in agreement. “Put this on.” I hand her the spare helmet from the back of my bike. I buckle it up for her as soon as it's on.
Her little hands clutch my waist tightly as we travel along the open road. Where the hell am I taking her? I don't even know. I just need to ride as fast as I can for a while. Her fingers flexing on my abs has me hard as nails. Dammit, they don't call me Hammer for nothing.
Okay, the size of my dick is not why they call me Hammer. But the fact I fuck with the force of a jackhammer and kill with the power of one twice as hard.
I love this woman, I can't deny it any longer. I want her safe. I want to be the man who puts a smile on her face every day. I want to be the man who dries her tears when she's sad. If I could take her hand in mine right now, I would.
Cindy wouldn't thank me for punishing Willow for what happened. She wouldn't want Willow hurt either. That gir
l loved Willow like a sister. Hell, they were as close as. They would have done anything for each other. She'd be ashamed of me if she knew how I'd treated Willow and what I'd said to her.
Somewhere inside me, I always thought Cindy helped me keep Willow alive that day. I felt her strength, her hand on mine around Willow's throat. I heard her voice in my ear telling me not to let go, that she wouldn't leave me or Willow. She'd keep us both safe. I had no idea then if I was going crazy, but I fully believe it helped me cope.
But after that day, I felt even more guilt inside of me. I realized that I was in love with Willow – yeah, I'm admitting it – and I hated myself for it because I felt like a traitor to Cindy.
But loving Willow doesn't mean I'll ever forget Cindy or the way we loved each other. And I did love her, she was everything to me. The love we shared was rare. Well, rare in my eyes. I'd never known anything like it. She was my soul mate. When I lost her, I lost half of me.
I never thought I'd start to heal. I never thought my heart would mend. I never thought Willow would be the one to mend it.
I never thought I'd ever feel anything for anyone again after Cindy, but I do. God, I feel so much for Willow. I have to make her see that she belongs with me. And I have to keep her safe, even if it kills me in the process.
Chapter Seven
Willow
We've been riding for almost an hour. I have no idea where he's taking me, but I'm getting a numb butt. I'm holding onto his waist so tightly, I'm scared I'm going to leave bruises on his abs. I'm not scared to be on the back of his bike, I've been on plenty in my life. It's just that I'm so nervous right now. I have no idea what he wants to talk about. Although I'm more than willing to talk about Cindy and my part in her death, I've beat myself up so much over it that I'm exhausted. I am seriously mentally exhausted.
No matter what happens tonight, whether he tells me he wants nothing more to do with me, or that – and I hope – he wants to forgive me so we can both move on, I'm willing to listen to whatever he has to say. The last couple days have been awful. Thinking he hates me hurt so much. I hope more than anything he'll forgive me.
We finally pull up outside the clubhouse. Not that I want to be here right now. He could have taken me to a bar or his place rather than here. And why the hell ride around for an hour before coming here?
Maybe he needed to clear his head and get his thoughts straight first.
He leads me inside, my hand in his. A couple of the guys at the bar yell an hello and wink at me. I smile and roll my eyes.
“Sit down.” I'm not even through the door of his bedroom and he's ordering me to sit down. Why couldn't we have gone to the main room and sat by the fire to talk?
I love this place. I've always loved it. It's like a huge house with many rooms, it's homey and clean. Which probably sounds weird for a bikers clubhouse. But my grandfather made this place a home for the brothers, a place that was theirs. Sure, they drink here, fuck here, even fight sometimes. There's a huge gym, a massive kitchen, the main room is like a huge den, all comfy and cozy, even with the bar at the back of the room. Then there's the actual bar room where most of the parties are held. The guys play pool and darts in there. They laugh and mess around with the club whores.
The place literally has eighteen bedrooms. Yeah, it's that big. The clubhouse has expanded over the years to accommodate the ever-growing club. The higher ranking members who don't have girlfriends and wives have rooms here. Lower members share. My parents have the master bedroom, as is expected of the President and his first lady, even though they have their own house.
The same for BlackJack and Taylor, a big room, I mean. Jack is my dad's best friend and has been in this club almost as long.
Hammer has his own room, it's a nice size. He doesn't have much in here, just his queen bed, a dresser with a lamp that sits on top, and a chair. Hammer has always been minimalistic. He always said that things were just things and they didn't mean anything.
I guess he's right. It's not like material things really matter. All a person needs in this life is the little things. A roof over their heads, something warm to sleep in, clothes to wear. But according to Hammer, a person doesn't need too many of them either.
“Can I get you a drink?”
I shake my head while taking a seat on the only chair in the room.
This has been Hammer's room for as long as I can remember. Yes, he has an apartment a few miles from here, but that's the place he shared with Cindy. They'd only been living together a month before she was killed. He doesn't stay there very often. I guess it feels odd without her. But then, I hate staying at my house now Jordan is gone.
Okay, I sound stupid as he's only been gone a couple weeks. But the place doesn't feel like home to me anymore. I guess I should look for somewhere else, somewhere I don't see his stupid face everywhere I look. Maybe it's time for me to get out of this town and find my perfect home.
“You're awfully quiet.”
I swallow hard while wringing my hands together nervously. I'm not scared of him, I'm just not in the mood to argue. Although, I am nervous about what's going to happen. He was so angry with me the other night, I'm worried he's going to tell me he never wants to see me again. If that's the case, he could have just told me back at Nova's. He didn't need to drag me here to do this.
“Look, I'm sorry about what I said to you, I didn't mean it, Will.” Okay, so he's obviously not angry anymore. He doesn't sound it anyway.
“It's okay,” My voice is too quiet. I cough to clear the fog in my throat.
“No, it's not okay. Look at me, baby girl. Please.” I bite my lip and look at him, leaning back against the dresser. He's such a huge, powerful man, and he's so beautiful. In my eyes, there is no one who could hold a candle to him.
Jordan – Trace – is a handsome man, a very handsome man, but Hammer is rugged, gorgeous. Everything I ever wanted but knew I'd never have.
“What you told me, shocked me, Will. It shouldn't have knowing the two of you were like sisters. Closer sometimes.” He's right, we were. “I never should have said what I said to you.”
“I deserved it.”
“No, baby girl,” I swallow as he comes toward me, his hand held out to me. I look at it for a moment before taking it. He pulls me from my seat. I'm trying not to jump into his arms. I'm trying to be strong, but I don't know how long I can hold my strength.
“You didn't deserve it.” He cups my face in both hands. “I'm sorry, baby girl.” He kisses my forehead. “I'm sorry.” His voice gets quieter with each kiss and each sorry. And his kisses are creeping toward my mouth.
I want him to kiss me, but not like this. I feel guilty. I don't want to feel guilty. I want to be able to kiss him without feeling like I'm hurting Cindy. Yes, I know she's gone from this world, but is she watching us from the next?
He kisses the corner of my mouth and I whimper. I press my hands against his big chest and push as hard as I can until he lets go of me. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“Kissing you? Because,” He grabs my upper arms, pulling me against him again. I can feel his heartbeat against my chest. God, help me to be strong because I don't know if I can resist him as much as I try. “I am done fighting this, Will.”
“What?”
“I need you, Willow. I want you to be mine. My girl.”
“What are you talking about, Hammer? You're not making any sense.” Nothing is making sense to me at all. “Hammer?”
His lips hit mine, and I want to fight, but I can't. I have wanted this for so long. He slides a hand behind my head, holding me in place as his tongue dances erotically with mine. Every part of me is tingling, my legs feel weak with it. I moan so deeply into his mouth that a deep rumble from his chest rips through me all the way to my clit.
I grab at his shirt, pulling him closer, this giant bear of a man, and he deepens the kiss until we're almost tearing at each other. I melt into him. It's like we were meant to be. Something inside of me is telling me
that's exactly what we are, meant to be.
He pulls away gently, resting his forehead against mine. “We can hash this out till the cows come home, baby girl, but the fact is, you're mine, Will. My girl and I won't let you go.”
“I don't want you to let go.”
“This feels right, Will. You and me. I know in my heart Cindy would want us to be together.” He lifts his head and smiles while stroking my cheek with the back of his hand. For the first time in a long time, I see a twinkle in his eye. “We both loved her, but it's time to let her go. It's time for us to move on. Together. You believe that too, don't you?” I do believe that, and that's why I nod my head. He smiles a little wider. It's so good to see him smile like this. “Is that a yes? You'll be my girl?”
I nod my head and giggle, “Yes. Yes!” I wrap my arms around his neck, he lifts me slightly off the floor with his arms around my waist.
This feels right. It really does.
His girl. His old lady.
Old lady, I'm twenty-five.
I never, ever thought this would happen.
But he's my old man now – finally – and I feel so at home.
“As my girl, I need you to do as I ask you.” He says, setting me on my feet. I narrow my eyes at him. “Tomorrow morning, I'm taking you to get my brand on this beautiful body.” I giggle again.
I've never had a tattoo, but I'm really excited about getting the one I have longed for since I was a teenager. The one I didn't get when I was with Jordan. I told him I would as soon as he was a full patched in member. I guess I knew deep down I would never get that tattoo. I did where his leather, though. Which I burned as soon as he left.
“Then I'm taking you to the safe house. I need to know you're safe, baby girl. Tell me you'll go.”
All For You (Snakes Henchmen MC Book 2) Page 6
