I pull out of my girl and set her on her feet, her legs shaking a little. We right our clothes, then I pull her into my arms. She sighs as she rests her head against my chest. I kiss her and breathe her in. “I love you,” I tell her honestly.
“I know.” She giggles. I smile. As long as she knows and doesn't doubt my love for her, that's all I care about.
I won't tell her what I'm about to do. I won't have her worrying about anything until there's something for her to worry about. If I can keep this all from her and fix everything without her finding out, then I will. God help me, I will.
Chapter Twelve
Willow
I haven't seen anything of my dad and brother this week, hardly anything of my brother-in-law, and less of Hammer. It sucks that I'm asleep by the time he gets home, and he's gone by the time I wake up. It's starting to piss me off.
I'm slowly going crazy stuck in this house, that's why today I'm going to work. Fuck what I've been told, I cannot stay in this house doing nothing.
I know I shouldn't risk it after what happened last time I snuck out, but I can't be a prisoner. I just can't. I'll be careful this time, I'm stupid. I won't risk my safety, but I won't stay in this house looking at four walls any longer either. Besides, my boss is expecting me now.
I'm up and showered, dressed in a navy two-piece skirt suit, white blouse, and matching pumps. My hair tied up in a ponytail, my makeup light. I like to look professional for work. Even though I don't technically need to dress so formal, but I like to now and again.
My dad will be beyond pissed when he finds out I left the house and went to work, and Hammer will go ballistic and likely lock me the fuck up like an actual prisoner and not let me outside until this whole thing is over, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
How long do they think I can call in sick? It could be months before any of this is sorted. I'd lose my job! I worked hard to become an elementary school teacher, I want to keep the job I love.
It was bad enough that Hammer made me call in and tell them I need a little more sick time because I wasn't quite ready to go back. My boss was understanding, but she won't be forever.
Are we meant to hide away like rats in holes because of the threats surrounding us?
I know it could be dangerous, I know the Razor Hogs are doing anything in their power to get to and end the Snakes for good. But I won't bow down to them.
Nova has even postponed her wedding, dad said it wouldn't be safe to go ahead yet. I don't see why they can't just get married here at the house. Our whole family is here. It could be huge, and so beautiful.
But my sister doesn't want to get married here at the safe house. She wants the wedding she planned. It has to be perfect for her.
I don't know, I think I'm just feeling out of sorts. Everything is getting to me. I feel like a prisoner. I hate it. I came to this damn house to keep my dad and everyone else from worrying. I don't want them to be concerned about me, but I won't put my life on hold.
If almost dying taught me anything, it's to live each day as if it was your last. I'm not going to do anything reckless, I'll have a prospect follow me to work to make sure I get there safely. They can even wait for me to finish work if they want, but I won't be a prisoner here. I won't!
The only person in the kitchen when I get down there is my sister. Ember's not with her. That's unusual. I grab myself a coffee and take a seat at the table opposite her.
“Why are you dressed up like you're going to the office?” She asks with narrowed eyes.
“I don't work in an office,” I chuckle. “But I am going into work.”
“You think that's a good idea after everything dad said?”
“It's my choice, Nova. I have a mind of my own, and I'll be careful. I'll get Buzz to follow me and make sure I get there okay. Then I'll tell him what time to be there to follow me home again.”
She looks at me for a second then smiles. “As long as you have it all worked out.”
“I do. Why are you sitting in here all by yourself?” I counter back.
“Ember's with mom and Taylor in the garden, so I'm just thinking.”
“About what, sweetie?”
She suddenly starts laughing. What the heck is she laughing at? She's laughing hard, so hard she's wiping tears from her eyes.
“What's so funny?” I'm smiling because I can't help myself.
“Did you have fun last night?” She winks at me and instantly my stomach drops. I feel sick. I am so embarrassed. She heard me!
Hammer woke me up last night by touching me, turning me on in my sleep. We hadn't seen each other in days, I missed him. He must have missed me too. I woke up and begged him to fuck me. And he did, he fucked me so hard, the headboard was crashing against the wall and I was screaming like a damn banshee!
As soon as it was over, I fell asleep in his arms and he was gone again by the time I woke up. We didn't even get the chance to talk.
I am never going to live this down!
“I tell you what, sissy, from the way you were screamin', I'd say he was a very, very big boy.” She laughs again at the fact my mouth is hanging open in shock. Oh god, if she heard me, then everyone else is bound to have.
“Don't be embarrassed, Will. It runs in the family.” She winks again. I'm not sure if she's referring to the size of Tank's cock – which I don't want or need to know about – or the fact she's a screamer like me.
I bite my lip and blink back the tears threatening to fall. I won't cry, but I am just so damned embarrassed. I don't know what to do.
“Oh, Will, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.”
“It's fine,” I get out of my seat and smooth down my skirt. “I have to get to work.”
“Are you angry with me, Will?”
“Of course not, Nova. I'm just embarrassed. If you heard no doubt everyone in the house did. I'm not going to be able to face people.”
“Will, the only rooms on that floor are yours, mine, Jett's, the kids, and mom and dads. The kids were asleep, Tank was out of it by the time he came to bed. He and Jett had been drinking most of the night with some of the others. Jett fell asleep down here, and mom and dad didn't hear anything. Trust me, they were all loved up this morning. So I guarantee they had their own fun last night. Too much to hear you.” She laughs suggestively.
None of that makes me feel any better. Nevertheless, I hug her hard, tell her I feel better and leave for work. Not that I feel like going now, but such is life. I'm going to have this sick feeling inside of me all damn day now.
Thankfully the feeling subsides when I'm back in my classroom with my kids. Their happy, smiling faces make me forget what's going on back home. Teaching them music is the best therapy I could have asked for. We sing a little song before recess, we learn about Egypt after lunch and fly through a literary test right before the bell rings to summon the end of the day.
This was just what I needed, and I can't wait to do it all again tomorrow.
I'm about to throw up. My dad has been yelling for twenty minutes without letting me get a word in. Not only is he seriously angry about me going to work this past week – he should have spoken to me before now about it – and he won't be letting me out of the house again – but apparently, I've done the wrong thing by branding myself as Hammer's property without his permission.
I had no idea I was a fucking prisoner and needed to ask permission for anything, or that my heart belonged to anyone but me! I didn't know I needed his damn permission to love someone.
He won't let me see Hammer. He won't let me out of the room and I'm starting to panic.
How could he have not done this days ago?
Weeks ago, even.
Maybe he's already had this out with Hammer, but I wouldn't know because Hammer hasn't said anything when I've seen him.
To be honest, I haven't seen either my dad or Hammer in days. They've been really busy. Hammer hasn't been home in two days and I feel so fucking lonely in this huge house, even surrounded
by all these people.
I'm beginning to think Dad is keeping him away from me deliberately.
But I swear to God, I am so confused. Mom and Nova know about Hammer and me, we've even talked about it. A lot. Hell, we've even compared tattoos. I told them about Hammer's tattoo and how he marked himself as mine, and Nova joked how Tank better do the same thing.
Coral gave us her blessing. Everyone knows about us! Why is Shepard doing this to me now?
“I won't stand for this, Willow!” He slams his hands down on the table in front of me, making me jump in my seat.
“It's already done, Dad. I don't see what the problem is. Daddy, I love him. He takes care of me.”
“Not the point!”
Then what the hell is?
He's ranting again, but I can't hear him, the walls are closing in on me. This room is too small, I can't breathe. He knows I can't bear to be shut in. Not after what happened. Hell, I couldn't bear to close my bedroom door until Hammer started sharing my bed.
Jesus Christ, he's sleeping in my room here, when he's here. We have sex. We fuck! Hard. How could Shepard not have known about this? Or if he did, why on earth did he wait this long to bring it up?
What the hell does it have to do with him anyway? I know he's the president, but that doesn't give him the right to treat me like this.
I can feel the heat creeping up my chest and into my eyeballs. Sweat is beading along my hairline and I think I'm seconds away from a full-on panic attack.
“After everything that happened to you, to him –” What the hell is he talking about now? “I suppose I should have seen it coming. I guess it's one way for the two of you to keep Cindy alive.”
“That's not fair.”
“Isn't it?” He leans against the desk in front of me. “You were the closest person to Cindy other than Coral. You don't think Hammer wants you just so that he can feel close to the woman he was in love with? The woman he would have died a thousand times over for? The woman he would kill a thousand men for if it meant he could have her back? You don't think that if she walked through that door tomorrow he wouldn't drop you like you were nothing to him? Because he would. He'd drop you, because she's the one he still loves, Willow. You could never fill her shoes.”
Why is he trying to hurt me like this? What did I do wrong? This hurts like all hell. Why does it hurt so much?
Because I know he's right. If it was a choice between bringing Cindy back and me dying, I know who would win, and it wouldn't be me.
“Can I go now?” I ask, fighting back the sobs.
“Baby girl,” He tips my chin up so that he can look into my eyes. Shepard is a kind man, well, kind to the women and children. Any man crosses him and he's not so nice. Believe me. But I know he only has my best interests at heart. “I'm not doing this to hurt you. I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into. That maybe Hammer isn't as over Cindy as he makes out. And you are the one who will get hurt in the end. You've been hurt enough.”
I know he's right, that's why I just nod my head and try to fight back the tears threatening to choke me.
“I just want what's best for you, Willow.”
“But what if he's best for me, Dad? What if he really has put Cindy to rest, and now he wants to move on... with me?” He sighs and pulls away from me. I get to my feet and place my hand on his muscular arm. “I know you're just looking out for me, and believe me, I love you so much for it, Dad. But I love him.”
I blink and the tears fall from my eyes and down my cheeks. “I believed him when he told me how much I mean to him. I believed him because I saw the truth in his eyes. You know him, Dad, he would never have claimed me if he wasn't deadly serious about me.”
He breathes deeply and chews on his lip for a moment before smiling at me. “I do believe you're right.”
“I am?”
He cups my face. “I'm not gonna get in your way. Be with him,” I smile a full set of pearly white teeth in excitement. “But if he does anything to so much as upset you, I'll put a bullet in his head.”
I laugh while wrapping my arms around his neck. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you more.” So he tells me every day.
“How did your talk with dad go?”
“It went.”
My sister and I are sitting on the small bench in the huge back garden that accompanies this even bigger house. Baby Ember is sitting on a picnic blanket munching on a cookie, Taylor's dog lying by her side, protecting her as he does all the kids.
Percy is a large golden retriever mix. BlackJack bought him for Taylor a short while after she suffered a miscarriage with their third child.
The miscarriage left Taylor unable to ever have another child. BlackJack thought having Percy would help with the longing Taylor felt inside. It did, along with her love for her sons, and the fact my mother made her best friend godmother to my baby sister, Sophie. Taylor really loves that little girl like her own.
I explain to Nova the conversation dad and I had. She isn't surprised at all by what he said and how he acted. It wasn't like he didn't give her and Tank a hard time when they first got together. Hell, I was there. I thought Dad was going to rip Tank's head off! Then he forced Tank to follow him to the clubhouse, leaving Nova, mom, and me waiting for them to return. Nova didn't want us to wait with her, she told us that dad wouldn't hurt Tank if he truly loved her.
She was right.
“You know dad only says that stuff because he loves us, right?”
I smile. “I know.” I breathe in the fresh air with a smile on my face.
For the first time in a long time, I am truly happy. After all these years, belong to the man I have always truly loved. The man who has held my heart in the palm of his hand since I was twelve years old.
What Shepard said about Hammer still wanting Cindy hurt. Of course, it did. Him still loving her in some way is obvious. I would never expect him to just cast what he feels for her aside, but I can't help but wonder if I'll ever mean as much to him as she did.
Will his heart ever truly belong to me?
Or will half of it always belong to a woman that's no longer living?
“Don't do that, Will.”
“Hm?” I was lost in thought for a moment.
“I know what you're thinking.” I chuckle. She always says that. Anybody would think she was psychic. “Hammer is not still in love with Cindy.”
I turn my attention to her. She really does know what I'm thinking. How crazy is that?
I smile as she takes my hand in hers, locking our fingers together. “Everyone knows how much he loved Cindy, the lengths he went to, to avenge her death.”
He hired an assassin to terminate those who killed Cindy. My little sister. No one knew only a handful of people what Nova was capable of. They kept her secret until the day she and the Snakes saved me.
“We also know what he did to bring you home. How it killed him thinking he'd lose you. We all saw weeks before the way he felt about you. How he forced himself away from you. Not only because of Trace but because he thought he needed to in order to protect you.”
“I know that he loves me, Nova, I don't doubt that. I guess I just wonder if I'll ever mean as much to him as she did, or will his heart always be torn between the two of us. I don't expect him to forget about her. I don't even want him to stop loving her, that would be beyond wrong of me. But I don't want to live in her shadow either.”
I sigh to myself. I sound so jealous and that's ridiculous too. Envious of my dead best friend. I am a terrible person.
Nova is going to say something else, but I'm done talking about this. Only Hammer can give me the answers I need, and I'm not going to let these doubts spoil the happiness I feel right now.
“Dad had the same talk with Hammer,” I tell her. “I'm not sure how it went, though, Hammer told me not to think about it. And he distracts me when he's here so I don't get round to asking him about it.”
“You mean, he fucks the shit outta
you every time you're together.” I nod and we both laugh. I love my sister, I'd be lost without her.
“Mommy, goggie!” Ember yells while pointing her tiny finger at Percy, who's now pooping next to the huge oak tree at the end of the garden.
“Disgusting animal.” I chuckle at the disgusted tone of voice my sister is throwing out. She is so not a dog person.
I don't think she's any kind of pet person, to be honest.
Poor Ember, she'll never be allowed a pet if Nova has her way.
Although Tank is a dog man, so you never know.
“Don't worry,” I laugh at her expression. “Take Ember inside and I'll clean up the mess.” I don't want my niece toddling over there and touching what she shouldn't.
“Thanks, sissy.” She sing songs as she grabs her daughter and leaves me to scoop the poop. And you know what? I don't even mind.
Chapter Thirteen
Hammer
Who knew getting an audience with a Mafia Don would be so hard. The asshole won't talk to anyone but Shepard. Motherfucker thinks he's too good for us. Cunt is nothin' special. And I ain't gonna stop until he speaks with me. I know where he'll be this afternoon. I'll go over there and I'll make the cunt see me! I'll light up his fuckin' restaurant if I have to, but I ain't leavin' till I've made him see that all of this is wrong.
Right now, I have someone else I need to see.
I straighten my cut and take a deep breath before opening the door and walking in. Ghost looks up at me from his seat on the bed. This is the first time I've seen him in weeks. He's been here days and I ain't been to see him. Now, here he is thinking I've come to drag him to the basement to finally end his life.
“I wondered when I'd be seein' you.” There's no malice in his voice, no real fear. He's had enough time to get his head around what I'm trying so hard to fix.
All For You (Snakes Henchmen MC Book 2) Page 11
