“Do you hear me?!” It's hard not to hear him when he's yelling so damn loudly.
“You're killing me.” It comes out quietly, but he heard me loud enough.
“Don't be so goddamn dramatic!”
“You're killing me and you don't even care. It's like I mean nothing to you. I know you think I disrespected you, but I didn't set out to fall in love with anyone, let alone him. But I did fall in love with him and you're just going to take him away from me. Why, Draven? Would it really be so bad for me to be happy with him?”
“You'll understand one day.” He doesn't even look at me, he has no intentions of talking this out with me.
I dig into my jacket pocket and grab the little plastic bag I stashed there containing the lone hair. “Here,” I hand it to him without looking at him. “Your sample.”
“How did you get this?”
“Snagged it of his cut when I got off his bike, he didn't even notice. I put it in the bag when I followed him inside.” There's no effort in my words, I'm completely deflated. I have nothing left inside of me.
He mumbles a thanks of some sorts and pushes the bag into his pocket.
“Is he dead?” I know I shouldn't ask, but I just need to know.
“If he is, you have no one to blame but yourself.” That was like a stab to my heart because I know it's the truth. And I know now what I have to do. All hope is lost and I have nothing left to fight for.
The car pulls up outside of the house where I am to be kept a complete prisoner. I go straight to my room, shower, and change for dinner. I pull on black pants and a black shirt. I do it almost robotically. I don't feel like I'm here. I'm dead in every way but literally.
I make my way down to dinner. It's just my cousin's and me tonight. Draven is sitting at the head of the table, Maria to his right, me on his left. I'm guessing he sent the sample off to the lab to be tested. He'll want the results tonight. God forbid he should have to wait until tomorrow.
Maria smiles at me slightly as I play with my steak. I'm not hungry, I haven't been since this whole thing started. Hell, I've lost a dress size because of it. Maria knows what this is doing to me, we've talked about it. She wanted to know what it was like to be in love with a man like Ghost, so I told her. She found our story to be so romantic.
God, I'm twenty-four and I feel a hundred years old.
Draven is talking like nothing is happening. Like everything is just fine when reality couldn't be further from the truth. He killed the man I love, and in doing so, he killed me too.
Am I so wrong wanting to be with the man I love?
Do I deserve to spend the rest of my life missing him, knowing he died because of me?
I know people say you move on, things get easier, you find someone else and fall in love. But I will never love anyone else as long as I live.
I honestly can't do this anymore.
I'm tired, but my heart is so broken, and I just want out of this life.
I'll meet Danny on the other side and we'll have all of eternity to be together.
We'll be timeless and forever in love.
I smile to myself at the thought, and I breathe a little easier.
No one notices me slip my steak knife under the table. I keep my eyes on them as they talk. I always wondered how anyone could cut their wrists. Do they flinch when that knife cuts into their skin? Do they hiss at the pain?
I don't know about other people, but I neither flinch nor do I hiss. It burns only for a moment, then I feel nothing. All I need to do is keep my hands beneath the table long enough so neither of them will notice until it's too late.
“Avery, you're not eating. That won't help, you know?” I look at Draven through suddenly heavy eyes and smile. My eyes feel a little glassy, his narrow. “Have you taken something?”
I'd laugh if the muscles in my mouth would work, but instead, I shake my head just as the knife slips from my now numb and bloodied fingers and clatters to the floor. Maria looks under the table and lets out a bloodcurdling scream. I can't keep my eyes open any longer.
I feel arms around me, people rushing into the room, someone grabbing my wrists and holding them together and above my head. I can sense their panic, but I feel nothing but calm.
Everything will be all right, Danny, I'm coming.
“You silly fucking little girl! Why would you do this?!” My cousin's voice hisses in my ear. He's a smart man, how can he ask me that?
“I love him.” I force out of my very dry mouth. “You... took him... from me. I want to... be with... him.”
“I am not letting you die, Avery!”
“Not... your choice.”
There is nothing left to say. My hearing is failing me. All is calm inside of me.
I'm on my way, Danny.
Chapter Fifteen
Hammer
I know it was a stupid fuckin' idea to bring the girl here, I should have known Vidal would find her. I kind of hoped he would. Thought maybe if he saw Avery with Ghost, he'd have a change of heart. But it backfired. Fuck.
When did I get so stupid?
I don't know if it did more damage than good to Ghost's state of mind. Now, Shepard is beyond angry.
Great.
“Do you have any idea what you've done?!”
“I know what I've done, Prez. But I thought... I don't know what the fuck I thought.” I scrub my hands over my face.
Shit really backfired on me big style.
How stupid could I have been? Playing games with a Mafia Don.
How did I honestly think this would end?
“You're an idiot! I was dealing with it, I had almost convinced him to let Ghost go!”
“To what, be without Avery? You've got no damn clue what it's like to love someone and not be with them. He might as well be dead!” Slamming my hands down on the table in anger won't make this any easier.
“He would've done anythin' for you, Hammer. You need only have asked.” What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Who would? “But by doing what you've done...” He shakes his head.
What does he know that I don't?
I sit back down in my seat in the room where we call church each day, our eyes locked. There's something he knows, something that he's been keeping from me. And it has nothing to do with what's going on right now. Don't ask me how I know, I just do.
“What ain't you tellin' me, old man?”
“Somethin' I swore to Titus that I would never tell you.”
My stomach twists at the mention of my father's name. Thirteen years after his death and it still guts me that he's not here. Fuckin' loved my old man, meant everything to me.
“But I don't have a choice but to tell you. If I don't, Vidal will.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Shepard?”
“Before I tell you what I'm about to tell you, I need you to remember that your parents loved you. Titus loved you, he fuckin' loved you so much. He raised you to be a good man.”
“Yeah. What's this got to do with anythin' right now?”
He sighs deeply, looking at me in a way that tells me he doesn't want to tell me this big secret he swore to never tell me. But tell me, he will.
“Titus... Titus wasn't your real father.”
I laugh. Literally laugh out loud. Although this ain't funny, it's laughable. “Come on, Prez. Jesus!”
“I'm serious, Sam.” My face drops. Callin' me Sam, the last time he did that was the day he told me that my parents had been killed.
My chest is heaving, my head is spinning, anger burns deep in my veins. The chair behind me hits the floor with a loud thud as I get to my feet, my fingers in my hair. I can't get my head around this! It's a lie, my parents would have told me!
“This is bullshit!”
“Your mother was married before she met Titus,” I don't wanna hear this shit! “He was a vile cunt who hurt her all the time. Listen to me, Hammer!”
I don't want to fuckin' listen! I need to get outta here.
But
he's in front of me, forcing me to listen to him. “She was friends with Titus for a while. They met in a store and he loved her instantly. She wasn't married for very long. She was with the guy for eight months altogether. Their wedding had been small, he never took her anywhere, or let anyone really meet her. She never did say why she married him.
“She fell for Titus, wanted nothin' more than to be with him. Her husband left her for his first wife, and Hillary was free to be with the man she loved. She was already pregnant with you, she never lied to Titus about that. But he didn't care, he loved you both more than anythin'.”
I look up at the ceiling, I feel sick.
This cannot be happening!
“They married as soon as her divorce came through, which was quick, but money talks. Titus was there through every step of the pregnancy, and the second you were born, he kissed your head and made you a promise that he would always love and protect you because he was your daddy, you were his boy.
“Did he ever treat you and Tank differently?” No. No, he didn't. “That man loved every bone in your body. Your mother loved you, they only wanted you safe.”
“They lied to me my whole life! And you wouldn't've told me the truth unless... Why the hell did you tell me?”
“Your birth father's children know about you. They're lookin' for you.”
Not gonna happen!
“I don't want to know them! What the fuck is going on? If my birth father knew about me, why the hell did he never come lookin'?”
“Because he was a piece of shit! And I paid to have those damn DNA tests he wanted faked to say you were Titus's!”
My eyes burn into his, wide and angry.
Did he think I didn't deserve to know where I really came from?
Who the fuck died and made him God?!
“Trust me, you don't want to know that man. His own children have nothing to do with him. I know this is a lot for you to take in,”
“You have no clue!”
“You are the key to saving Ghost, Hammer. My last resort. Your half-brother will listen to you. Family is everything to him.”
Family?
Brother?
Shit, my little brother, Tank. What the hell is he gonna think? I don't give a fuck about this half-brother, I don't need or want him in my life. Tank is my brother. Only brother I'll ever need.
But if what Shepard is saying's true, I have a chance to save Ghost. I can bury all of this shit until I get what I want for this club, it's members, our families, my girl. Once I've gotten what I want, I can cast out these half-siblings Shepard is talking about.
Something doesn't make sense, though. If Vidal is the one calling all the shots, what can this “Half-brother” do to talk him out of it?
Fuck! I could scream right now!
How could they keep this from me?
How could they lie to me about where I came from?
Who the fuck am I now?
I am Sam – Hammer – Marshall. Thirty-two years of age. Willow Violfet Jackson is my girl, my wife if I have my way, mother of my children one day. I am Sergeant-At-Arms, high ranking member of the Snakes Henchmen MC. Tennessee Charter. Big brother to Haiden – Tank – Marshall, and nothing will ever change that.
So Titus wasn't the man who knocked my mom up with me, he was the man who raised me, taught me everything I know. The man who loved my mother, my brother, and me. My hero.
I might not understand everything right now, but I'll talk to those who knew, Shepard and BlackJack, no doubt. They were Titus's best friends.
“How can this guy help? Vidal won't listen to us, what makes you think he'll take notice of this guy?”
“Because Vidal...” Storms through the door like he owns the place with a face like thunder. His eyes lock with mine, then shoot to Shepard as he continues, “Is your brother.”
The earth seems to shift beneath my feet, my heart is pounding in my ears, everything is silent around me all of a sudden.
What the fuck is going on?
This can't be true.
Vidal is my brother?
My brother is a Mafia Don?
Cage fighting, vicious killin', remorseless Mafia Don?
That makes Joseph Vidal my real father.
Fuck!
No wonder my mother kept that to herself. It ain't like I don't know the stories of that motherfucker. His own son had him cast out of their famiglia because of the things he did to women. I can only imagine what he did to my young mother.
Fuck it all!
My head is in my hands and I'm suddenly sitting down. Don't remember how that happened, but here I am.
“Here. Drink this.” I take the glass from Shepard and knock back the scotch. It steady's my shaking hands some.
“I told you to wait until I had proof.”
“You didn't need proof, I told you that. No doubt you got it anyway.”
I can hear them talking, but I can't seem to make myself speak. Of all the men in the world to be related to it had to be a fucking Mafia Don!
“I did get it, he is my brother. But I would've liked to do this later. There are more important things going on right now.”
“The death of one of my men.” It wasn't a question, and Shepard grunts in disgust. “Why are you even here, Draven? I get that you're angry about Avery being here today, but all of this isn't gonna solve anything. What do you want? You want me to kill your brother as well for bringing her here?”
“Touch one hair on my brother's head and I'll kill you myself!”
Bingo!
This man is nothin' to me, but Shepard is right, family is everything to him. He doesn't give a shit about the elders and what they say. This man is completely in charge of the famiglia and what he says goes. If he's willing to find out the truth about who I really am to him, biker aside, then no one can touch me. I imagine he'd kill them all if they did. I can spin this in my favor.
“What about Avery?” I get to my feet. Whether I like it or not, Avery is my cousin, makes this even more important. “You give an unwanted damn about me, a man you don't even know, a low down dirty outlaw biker, yet you don't give a damn about the cousin you've known all your life. You claim to be all about family, yet you hurt her like this? Kill the man who loves her so much he willingly stepped away from her and sits waiting for death to come for him.
“I get it. Having her with someone like us looks bad to people like you. But the thing is, we ain't much different from you. We dress differently, we talk different, but that's where the differences end.”
Cunt raises an eyebrow. He doesn't agree, thinks he's better than me and mine. He can think what he likes, but we really ain't different. We're all outlaws, he just knows how to get away with what he does, has more money than God and intimidates his way out of things. Nobody wants to go against a Mafia Don.
“There is one difference between us,” Apart from the fact he's an utter cunt and I'm not. “I would never treat a woman the way you do. Especially not a member of my family. You do what you want, brother, but you'll have to excuse me if I don't buy into your idea of family values.”
“What would you have me do, Sam?”
“My name is Hammer!” Son of a bitch! “What I would have you do is let Ghost live. His only crime was to love Avery. That don't deserve the death penalty in my book. But you already knew that.”
“I thought I was doing what was best for Avery.” He laughs sardonically while resting his expensive suit-clad ass back against the solid oak table where we hold church. “I have never been more wrong about anything in my life. And I'm man enough to admit that.”
I fold my arms around myself while Vidal – Draven – scratches his jaw with his thumbnail. “Avery tried to kill herself tonight.”
I close my eyes and roll my neck. Stupid girl!
“I should've seen it coming. I should've realized from the way she looked at me. I didn't and there's fuck all I can do about it now. She cut her wrists and told me she wanted to be with Danny.”
“She will be. Physically at least. Doctors have her sedated. Right now, I'm here to talk to Ghost. Actually, I came here to kill him myself.”
“He didn't do this,” I tell him. “You did. Your actions led to this. Ghost did nothing but love her. Yeah, he might have gone behind your back, but when you love someone that strongly, nothin' and no one will keep you apart. Do you ever stop being the boss?”
“No, little brother, I don't.” I grind my teeth. I am not his brother! “If I stop for one moment it could get me and mine killed. You think it's easy being me? Always watchin' my back just in case someone stabs me in it? Always wondering if today will be the last day I spend on this earth with my family? Always wondering if today someone will take them, torture them, kill them? I will never stop doing what I have to do to protect Maria and Avery, even you.”
“You think I don't feel those things?!” I yell because it's about time someone yelled at this prick. “You have no idea of the things I have lost!”
“I know everything, Hammer. I know about your girl and how she died. I know about Willow and how you almost lost her too. I never gave it much thought until Avery did what she did tonight. Don't get me wrong, I thought about you a lot over the months since I found out who you were. I just wish I'd known sooner, I could've saved you a world of hurt.”
He could've saved Cindy. My heart pounds at the thought. Then it aches with conflict I don't want to think about right now.
“There is nothing I will ever want from you, Draven. Just this,”
“I'm listening.”
“Let Ghost go. Let him be with Avery. Not just for him, but for her, too.” He breathes uneasily.
All he has to do is back down. It's really not that fuckin' hard. His men will listen to him, no matter what the elders say, Draven's word is law to those people. I know he has to save face, but fuck, isn't Avery's life more important?
“Doesn't Avery try to take her own life show you how serious this is?”
He doesn't say anything for long minutes. He locks eyes on me the whole time, and I refuse to look away first. It's too fuckin' hard to believe this man is my older half-brother. God, I feel like a traitor to my dad just being in the same room as him. Because no matter what happens in the future, Titus will always be my father.
All For You (Snakes Henchmen MC Book 2) Page 13
