Eventually, I had to tell her and everyone else when I found out that I was pregnant. My mother was pissed. I didn’t understand how I’d managed to sleep with five boys, numerous times each and hadn’t gotten pregnant. I was practically shaking when I told her that I had missed my period. She sat across from me, quiet, while continuing to smoke her cigarette.
“So you missed your period? I guess that wouldn’t mean anything unless you were out there screwing. Is that what you’re telling me? You’ve been out there fucking those little boys?” I was silent, afraid to look her in the eye. I was afraid of seeing the disappointment. What mother would be proud of her teenage daughter carrying a baby? “I don’t hear anything. I just asked you a question.” Her voice was louder than it had been a few seconds ago, which to me showed fury.
“I’m sorry, Mom, I didn’t think I could get pregnant.”
“Why not? Don’t you learn that shit in school? As soon as you get a period you can get pregnant. I’m so disappointed in you, Diamond. I expected so much more from you.”
Hell, I expected more from me. I also expected that I’d always have a father around that loved me, but obviously that wasn’t the case. I didn’t know what to say or do. I did know that I wasn’t ready to take care of a baby.
“I’m not ready to take care of a baby, Mom.”
“Who said anything about taking care of a baby? I’m taking you to the clinic first thing Monday morning to get rid of it. I’ll be damned if you’re going to embarrass me.”
I sat there with tears forming in the wells of my eyes. I was scared. I didn’t think she would force me to get an abortion. I thought we could probably give it up for adoption. I knew my mother very well and what she said was pretty much what happened. There wasn’t anything that I could do to make her think any different. Then I thought about it a little more. It was the right decision for all of us. Johnny definitely didn’t want me to have the baby. He felt that it would ruin both of us and he probably was right. That Monday morning when she dragged me down to the clinic in the frigid weather, all I could think about was getting my life back to normal as quickly as possible.
The clinic was packed and most of the girls there were around my age. I guess I wasn’t the only one dumb enough to think I couldn’t get knocked up. After filling out all of the paperwork, we sat in the waiting room for hours. It was almost noon when they finally called my name and we’d been there since seven-thirty in the morning. They led me down a long hallway that had bright white paint like you see on TV. My mother stayed out in the waiting area with the other mothers and young girls waiting for their turn.
The nurse took me into a small room that had two changing stalls and a bathroom. She handed me a clear bag that contained a hospital gown, socks, and a cap for your head. She instructed me to take everything off, put on the things in the bag, and fill it with all of my belongings. I could barely get my pants unbuttoned I was so nervous. I didn’t know what was about to happen to me. They hadn’t explained it to me, only saying that my mother wouldn’t sign for me to be put under anesthesia. Was that a form of punishment? How could she force me to be wide awake when they ripped my baby from the womb? I almost thought about running out of there and hitchhiking a ride home. The nurse startled me when she returned and reached out for my bag of belongings.
“Come with me. I’ll put your things in a locker. I’m going to take you into the procedure room and prep you. Do you have any questions for me?”
“Is it going to be really painful?” I was scared shitless, still unaware of what was about to take place. I mean, I knew that I was going to leave here not pregnant anymore but I didn’t know what would happen between now and then.
“It will be a little painful but doing it without anesthesia is the best way to do it. You won’t feel groggy or possibly have any bad after-effects. Don’t worry, I’ll be in there with you the whole time. You can hold on to me and squeeze my hand if you need to.”
I felt a little better after that but I was still a little uneasy. The procedure room was freezing cold. There was a table in the center surrounded by a bunch of machines. I assumed that most of them were to monitor your vital signs and things of that nature. Just from TV shows and things I saw in school, I saw the resemblance. I lay down on the table and tried to relax as I placed my feet in the stirrups and scooted down to the edge of it.
The doctor entered the room a few minutes later in a blue gown and gloves.
“This will be over before you know it. Scoot down a little more for me.”
I was so uncomfortable. A grown man who was a complete stranger had his face down in my young pussy. I had never even been to a gynecologist before so this was all new to me. I followed his instruction and slid down so that my butt was at the end of the table.
“Okay, now you’ll feel some cold fluid. I’m cleaning the area. Now a little pinch.”
I damn near jumped off the table. A little pinch, my ass. Whatever he had just done hurt like hell. “Okay just a few more pinches.” I held in the screams as he continued to stick needles in me. Tears were rolling down the sides of my face and landing on the paper that covered the table beneath me. Next came a loud machine and then I heard what sounded like a vacuum. My stomach was cramping beyond belief. Not even my worse day of PMS felt that bad. After a few more minutes of cramping, the loud machine stopped and the experience was over. I was so weak that I could barely stand when the nurse helped me off of the table and into a wheelchair. I recovered for about an hour before I was allowed to get dressed and meet my mother outside. Once she saw me, she walked around to the driver’s side of the car and got in. The ride home was completely silent. She hadn’t even asked how I felt. I guess she didn’t care since I’d gotten myself into the situation in the first place. I didn’t even have the energy to try and spark up a conversation because she probably wouldn’t have joined in anyway.
Following the abortion, Johnny was afraid to touch me. Honestly, I wasn’t so anxious to have sex either. I’d be damned if I’d go through that shit again. Things between us remained the same and I was extremely happy that they did. I’d be lost without his love or the love of any man for that matter. Being fatherless screwed me up and pretty much set the tone for the way I’d search for a replacement. Of course I’d never find a man who would love me the way that he did, but at least I could dream about it.
Chapter 4
Black
Me and My Bitch
Besides Diamond, Trice was the only chick that knew how to make me come back for more. Shit, pussy was pussy but every once in a while you run across one that’s exceptional. I wasn’t ready to go home just yet. I was still trippin’ about Kemp and if I’d gone home that’s all Diamond would end up talking about. I needed to relax and what better way to do so than getting some bomb-ass head. I’d spoken to her earlier that day and told her I’d be by later that night so I knew she’d be ready. I parked, hit the alarm on the keypad, and headed to the door. Trice opened it wearing a pair of tight-ass shorts where her ass was hanging out of the bottom and a T-shirt that showed her hard nipples. She hadn’t even pushed the door closed before I stuck my tongue in her mouth and grabbed hold of her ass. I was horny as hell and anytime I wanted sex with no strings attached, this was the place to be. Trice playfully pushed me away. I stared at her as she backed away.
“You’ve been a bad boy. I’m not really sure you deserve this pussy.”
I smiled for the first time in a few days. She knew exactly what I liked. I loved her playfulness especially when I needed a boost for the day.
“A bad boy, huh? Well, tell me how I can make it up to you because I definitely want the pussy.” She moved closer to me as I now stood in front of the sofa. She gave me a push that forced me to sit down on the sofa. I sat looking up at her with a huge smile on my face. My dick was already damn near busting through my jeans. She slowly removed her T-shirt and shorts to revealed her naked body underneath. I wanted to grab hold of her and pull her on top of me
but I didn’t, I let her continue to lead.
“You see this? All of this is for you. Do you want it?”
“Of course I want it.”
“How bad? I need you to make me believe it. If not, you won’t even get to sniff it.”
I let out a laugh. She was funny as hell but I knew that she meant it. As bad as she missed me, if I didn’t convince her that I missed her just as much she wouldn’t budge.
“More than ever, babe, I was thinking about you all day. Couldn’t wait to get here.”
“Oh, really, what were you thinking?”
“About those juicy-ass lips and that soft ass that I couldn’t wait to touch.”
She turned around so that her ass was facing me. “Go head and touch it.”
I smiled and pulled her closer while rubbing my hands across her ass. It was soft as a baby’s ass and I couldn’t resist planting kisses all over it. She moaned and stuck it out a little further. I took one hand and massaged her clit from behind. Her juices were damn near pouring out. I couldn’t wait to shove my dick inside of her. Her ass was still facing me as I stuck my finger inside of her. Within seconds her body began to tremble and the moans were even louder than before. I was afraid that she’d wake the kids, she was so damn loud.
“So that’s how you feel?” she asked, smiling. I nodded but remained silent. She got down on her knees in front of me and loosened my belt before unzipping my pants and letting my dick breath. She put her lips on the head and planted a kiss that immediately made me sigh. She followed with one lick up the shaft and back down before deep-throating it, catching me off guard. That was damn near enough to make me bust right in her mouth. She smiled when she looked up and noticed the faces that I was making. I couldn’t take anymore. I pulled her up from the floor, turned her around so that her back was facing me, and made her sit down on top of me. Her pussy was soaking wet as my dick made its way inside. I lifted up off the seat to meet her as she moved up and down on it. I knew I was about to disappoint her because it felt too good to do a marathon that night. I held onto her hips and my cum for all of ten minutes before I exploded inside of her. My body shook uncontrollably for a few seconds. That was just what I needed to relax. I sat there on the sofa with my head back after she went upstairs in the bathroom. She returned with a hot washcloth, which she placed on top of my dick, which forced me to open my eyes. I was about to grab hold of it until she began to wipe me off. Damn, I thought, if I didn’t love Diamond as much as I did, she’d be mine again.
I fell asleep and hadn’t even looked at the time before I did. I felt my cell phone vibrating and knew it was Diamond before I even picked up. I let out a little sigh before rolling out of bed and pressing talk on the phone.
“Hello?”
“Why haven’t you answered any of my calls?”
“Because I was busy, Diamond, what’s up?”
“What’s up? Nigga, I’ve been calling you for three fucking hours.”
“I said I was busy, what’s up?”
“Somebody’s been calling here, threatening me.”
“Did you call JB?”
“Why would I call JB, you’re my man, not him!”
“I’ll be there in a little bit Diamond all right. I’m sorry, okay.”
“Not as sorry as that bitch next to you will be if you don’t answer my calls next time”
Click!
“Wifey’s pissed, huh?”
“Yeah, I gotta go but I’ll holla at you later.” I leaned over and kissed her before getting up to get dressed. I didn’t want to argue with Diamond but I knew that it was inevitable. I thought that going over to Trice’s would keep me relaxed but the second I felt the vibration of the phone the relaxation was over. Things were great with Diamond and me up until this shit with Kemp started up. I mean, I could definitely understand her frustration but, shit, I was in it just as deep as she was. Not that I was scared of Kemp, but I’d known Kemp a lot longer than she had, which meant I knew what he was capable of. I always felt that I was stronger than him in many ways because for one, I knew how to keep my anger under control and two, he had more enemies than any nigga I knew. To him, that was power but to me it was foolish. Not that I wanted to be everyone’s friend—that wasn’t it by a long shot—I just knew that when it was time to go to war it was better to have more niggas ready to fight with you then take your ass down.
I pulled up in front of the house and sat in there staring at the house. Kiki’s car was in the driveway, which was never a good sign. See, Kiki was drama. Though she was Diamond’s best and pretty much only friend she still got on my last nerve. At times she’d been the word of wisdom and I could appreciate that since Diamond normally didn’t think before she made a dumb decision, but then there were times like these when I knew that she would only make things worse between her and me. I was hesitant going in but I had to make sure that things were under control. I knew that she was afraid and deep down I was afraid too. Not of what could potentially happen to me but what could happen to her. Regardless of the ups and downs, I cared about Diamond more than I’d cared about any woman. It just pissed me off when she didn’t believe that I would do whatever I had to, to protect her.
Entering the house I could hear Kiki’s ranting about me. I could hear Diamond, in a low voice, telling her to hush. I almost turned back around and left but I wanted to look her in the eye with a stare so she’d know I’d heard what she’d said. When I walked into the living room, she rolled her eyes and turned to hug Diamond before getting up and heading toward the door. I stood there silent before shaking my head and going into the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator door and as I bent down to grab a Corona from the shelf I heard the sound of Diamond’s shoes tapping against the marble floor. I stood up, looked at her, and turned to open my beer. I brushed past her and walked toward the living room to sit down.
“So what are you planning on doing, Black?”
Damn, I didn’t even get a second to plant my ass in a seat. She had already started. “I don’t know yet, Diamond.” I sighed as I spoke to let her know that I wasn’t in the mood for this conversation.
“What do you mean, you don’t know? You have to know. Are you just going to allow him to sneak up on you?”
“On me? Have you forgotten that you are the one that shot him? And you don’t even know that it’s him anyway.”
“Who the hell else would it be, Black? It’s the only thing that makes sense. When are you going to be a man and stand up to him?”
“What?” I was pissed. I got up from my seat, slammed the beer down onto the coffee table, and walked in her direction. I knew that she could see the anger on my face because she was backing into the corner of the sofa. “Be a man? Shit, I’m the man keeping your ass afloat. You wouldn’t know what to do without me.”
“Really? Well, you wouldn’t have shit without me!”
Slap.
Before I could think about it my hand had landed clean across the side of her face. She placed her hand over her cheek, which had quickly turned red. For the first time since we’d been together she’d pushed me to the limit. Now she sat across from me crying and I felt like shit.
“Babe, I’m sorry,” I tried to reach out and grab her.
“Get the fuck off me!” She pulled her arm away and stood up from the sofa. I was going to try and apologize more but she gave me a stare that said if looks could kill I’d be dead. I never wanted her to see that side of me. In the past I’d snapped a few times and hit a woman, which is something that I wasn’t proud of. I didn’t even know what to say to fix it. Shit, I yelled. I sat there for the next half hour not even looking at TV. My mind was going in circles. I was pissed that I’d let this nigga ruin everything.
I remembered the first time that I saw her—I couldn’t wait to get closer. I knew that I was going to be with her from that moment. I had come too far to fuck it up. I knew that I couldn’t make it up to her tonight. I was so fucked-up about it that I called JB and told him to take car
e of the pickups that night. I didn’t want to leave for fear that she wouldn’t be there when I got back. At one point I crept upstairs and stood outside of the door listening to her cry. I was close to turning the knob and going in but it would probably have just made it worse. I had almost drifted off to sleep when the telephone rung. I jumped up, and glanced at the clock that read 4:00 A.M.
Black Diamond [Book 2] Page 4
