“What? Why the hell would I go away and leave you here? If I go anywhere you’re going with me.”
“I’m not going to argue with you, D. I’m angry, my fucking car is blown to shreds, and my head hurts like hell. If you stay here you’re a target and I need time to figure this shit out. I need you to listen to me for once and stop being so damn stubborn.”
She sat there with a blank stare. I was waiting for her to yell, cry or do something other than sit in silence. I could see how this was affecting her. Diamond had always been strong, since I’d known her, anyway. That was one of the things that attracted me to her. I knew that she wouldn’t let a nigga run over her. Now, things were different. She was falling apart and I didn’t know how else to patch her back together other than killing this nigga. Soon a single tear formed in the well of her right eye, slowly rolled down her cheek, and dropped onto the sheets.
“I’m losing my mind, Black, I can’t take this shit. I thought I was built for this. It’s much easier when you’re the predator. I can’t believe that I was so stupid.”
“Don’t beat yourself up about the past, okay. I need you to think realistically, babe. You shot that nigga and he could have lived. Shit, if that were me, I’d be doing the same shit. I know him well and if it’s him I know he won’t stop until he gets what he wants. I would lose my mind if I lost you.”
After a few seconds of silence she spoke again. “Okay, I’ll go.”
“I’m glad.” I smiled as I reached over to hug her. I wasn’t trying to get sentimental but on some real shit, I needed her in my life. She was the balance that I never had before. I know that it may sound fucked up since she was once and still may be my best friend’s wife, but he didn’t deserve her. Hell, he didn’t give a fuck about her. I remember the first time they’d had sex up in the box at the Sixers game. No sooner than he closed the door behind her he was boasting. I had never been one to brag about getting ass, but Kemp, he needed to feel like a king. That day she had finally gotten his attention. She’d been trying for weeks and he knew it.
“I need to make her sweat. Shit, that gold-digging bitch ain’t about to get a piece of me that easily.” He laughed. “She’s sexy as shit but I know the game.”
“How you know she playing you? She could really like you.”
“Bullshit, Black,” he began to laugh. “That bitch just got out of jail, she’s broke as hell and who the fuck goes around practically stalking a nigga if it ain’t about money. You sound like one of them. You ain’t getting soft on me now, are you?”
“Soft, come on man, I’m far from that. I’m just saying, you gotta stop treating every female you meet like a gold digger just because you rich.”
He continued to laugh, “What you trying to say, it’s real love out here?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“Nigga, I’ve been married twice and I’m divorced. These bitches only see the dollars. If I was a chick I’d be the same way.”
“You’re divorced because you think like you do. You only got married ’cause you’re selfish.”
“And I already know that shit, man. I lock ’em down, that’s how you gotta do it. And Diamond, she’ll be number three. If you know one thing about me it’s that I keep my promises, and I promise you that shit.”
He couldn’t wait to clown her after he fucked her with all of us sitting a few short feet away. She left out of the room with a huge smile on her face. As soon as the door was closed, everyone but me burst into laughter.
“You ain’t right, man,” I spoke loudly. Everyone turned to look at me as if I was speaking in another language. To them, I was. There were just some things that I couldn’t accept as right—shit, I had three sisters.
“Yo’, you been acting like a bitch lately. You act like you want to fuck her. You know me, nigga, I don’t cock block. If that’s what you want by all means go for it,” Kemp yelled. Everyone turned to look at me and soon erupted into laughter.
“Come on now, don’t try to play me, nigga. You know it ain’t that. I’m just saying, why you gotta come out here and boast. Everybody knows you get pussy!” I was getting annoyed. If it was one thing I hated, it was to be put on blast, especially in front of a bunch of niggas.
“Stop tripping, man, if it makes you feel any better I’ll refrain from talking about pussy around you.” He continued to laugh.
I didn’t even respond. I just nodded my head and took a sip of my Corona. Soon the attention was off of me and back on the game. I sat there wondering how this dude even got to where he was at that point. I mean, he was street smart and he had the wit to get all of the shit he had, but keeping it—that was a whole different story. That took more than what he had and I could see him losing it even back then. I didn’t envy Kemp but I did always want to claim his spot. Even as his friend, there was something in the back of my mind. I could see the future and was ready to jump in his place as soon as it was open.
Chapter 7
Diamond
Permanent Monday
Who the hell was at the door so damn early? I thought while crawling out of bed. Black was asleep next to me and hadn’t budged even after the bell rang a fourth time. I put on a robe and headed downstairs. I looked out of the peephole and spoke.
“Who is it?”
“Hey, Diamond, it’s your dad. Can I come in and talk to you for a minute?”
“Right now isn’t a real good time, you should have called first.”
“You didn’t give me your number.”
Damn, I wasn’t ready to talk with him yet but I knew that he’d keep trying until I did. “Okay, let me put something on, give me a minute,” I replied, hoping that by the time I got back down to the door he’d be gone. Once I got up to the room, Black was sitting up on the side of the bed.
“Who’s at the door?”
“My father.”
“Did you let him in?”
“No, not yet, I came up to get something on. He’s still standing outside.”
“You should have just let him in.”
“I am going to let him in, damn!” I yelled. He looked at me and shook his head.
“I’m sorry okay? I know it’s a sore subject.”
“I’m sorry for snapping. I’m going to go see what he has to say to get this over with. He’s not going to leave me alone until I do.”
“Well, I’m going to jump into the shower and head out. If you need me, holla!”
“Where are you going? You’re not supposed to be in the streets. The doctor said to rest for a week. It’s only been three days, Black.”
“Go ahead and talk to your dad. I’m fine, okay.”
I didn’t respond, I just grabbed my shorts and slipped them on before leaving back out of the room and down the stairs again. I glanced out of the peephole again to find him patiently waiting on my return. I took a deep breath and opened it.
“Thanks a lot for talking to me, Diamond. There are some things I just have to explain.”
I took a few steps back to give him room to enter. As soon as he did he looked around with a pleased look. I guess he was proud of what I had accomplished—well, at least I hoped that he was. I always wanted his approval after he’d gone away. I blamed myself for his departure. I thought that I wasn’t good enough. I prayed for him to come back so I could prove that I was. Maybe this was my chance and the longer I thought about having the satisfaction of being loved by him the happier I got.
“This is very nice, Diamond, you’re doing well. I’m happy about that,” he said as he walked into the living room and sat down.
“Thanks,” I replied, joining him on the sofa. “So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?” I went straight in. I’d waited for this day for so long and now that I was ready to know the answer I couldn’t wait any longer.
“Well, it’s about us and why I left.”
“Us? What do you mean by that?”
“About me being your father.”
I sat there
still unsure of what it was he was trying to say. “Okay and what about that?” I asked with a confused expression on my face. I was hoping that he hadn’t come to bullshit me. I wanted him to get to the point and stop beating around the bush.
“That I’m your biological father.”
“What? Mom told me that I was adopted.” Okay, so now I was getting annoyed. I wondered if this was just a ploy to get close to my money.
“You were adopted, by her.”
“I still don’t get what you’re trying to tell me. Excuse me if I’m a little slow this morning, but I need you to get to the point.”
“After your mom and I were married, I had an affair. It lasted about two years and I didn’t tell your mother about the infidelity until my mistress became pregnant. It hurt her and I had never felt worse in my life. Well, Nila couldn’t have children and she’d always talked about adopting. Pam, the woman I had an affair with, didn’t want children but I convinced her to go through with it promising that I’d leave Nila. Once you were born she tried to be a mother, but it wasn’t in her. She couldn’t take care of you, especially without me. I couldn’t and I wouldn’t leave Nila at that time so we all decided that we’d let her adopt you and Pam would move on with her life.” He stopped for a few seconds. By then, tears were flowing. If this was all true that made the fact that he’d walked away from me even worse. I was his biological daughter?
“I don’t know what to say. I mean, that still doesn’t explain why you walked out on me.”
“Because I was in love with Pam and Nila promised me if I walked out on her I’d never see you again.”
“So I’m assuming that means you chose her over me, right?” Now I was angry. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Nothing was making sense.
“I didn’t choose her over you, I love you and I’ve always loved you from the day you were born and I held you in my arms. I wasn’t happy and I couldn’t be the father you needed if I stayed.”
“I still can’t believe what I’m hearing. It really took you ten years to tell me this?”
Just as he was about to speak Black came down the stairs. My father stood up to greet him.
“Black, this is my father Jim, this is Black, my . . .”
“Fiancé, I’m Black her fiancé,” he interrupted me, while reaching out to shake his hand.
My fiancé? Was I missing something? When the hell did that happen?
“Nice to meet you, Black, is that your real name?”
He had nerve, like he wanted to act like a father now. What the fuck did he know about being a father?
“Naw, my real name is Keshawn Black but everyone calls me Black.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Well, it was nice meeting you, Jim. Babe, I’m gonna run, call me if you need anything.” He leaned in to kiss me. I didn’t know what he was thinking but I’d definitely discuss it with him later.
“Okay,” I replied. I didn’t want to let on that I was upset. I was trying to be strong.
Black left and I immediately turned my attention back to my father. He had sat back down on the sofa but remained quiet.
“So what do you expect from me? I still don’t understand the purpose of this meeting.” I wasn’t slow but I just didn’t know how he could walk in here after all this time, tell me a story like he’d just done, and think I’d run and jump in his arms like I used to as a child.
“I wanted you to know the truth. You haven’t asked about Pam—do you want to know what happened to her?”
“Why? She didn’t want me. Why should I give a damn about her?” My face was twisted so tight my head was beginning to hurt. What kind of woman would do that? Here I believed that my mother was weak for falling apart like she did. Hell, who wouldn’t under those circumstances?
“That’s not true, she loves you.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I’ve been married to her for the past eight years, and she’s only stayed away because she thought you wouldn’t want to see her.”
“That’s bullshit! You know I can’t believe that you all lied to me. My whole fucking life’s been a lie.” I stood up from the chair and paced the room. “So what’s next, huh? I guess you’re going to tell me you had kids, right? I mean that’s next right?”
He was quiet. I shook my head and masked my tears with anger.
“I’m sorry, Diamond, I really wish I could turn back the hands of time and fix this.”
“Get out!” I yelled.
“Diamond, please.”
I turned my back and hoped that he wouldn’t speak another word. Soon I heard his footsteps and the door closing behind him. I burst into tears as soon as the door shut. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse he dropped that bomb on me. I didn’t know what to do or who to call. My mind was racing. My biological mother—the one I never thought of seeing before—and my asshole of a father had left me out to dry. Where the hell was he when my mom was strung out on drugs? Where the hell was he when I fell into depression after Johnny went to prison? Where the hell was he every time I needed him? I was hurting and confused. I sat down on the sofa and placed my face in the palms of my hands. The phone rang a few minutes later and startled me. It was Black.
“Babe, how’d everything go?”
“Crazy, my mind is racing over here. I told him to get out. I can’t believe the shit that he just told me.”
“Do you need me to come home?”
I wanted him to be there, but honestly, I needed time alone to clear my head. I didn’t want to end up taking my anger out on him. I was quiet for a second before speaking for fear that I’d say the wrong thing, which I often did when I was upset.
“Honestly, I just need to be alone right now. I appreciate you asking. I want to talk to you about it but right now I’m still trying to take it all in. I’ll see you tonight when you come in and we’ll talk then. Is that okay?”
“Whatever you want, babe. If you change your mind, call me. I’ll call and check on you in a little while.”
“Okay, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I’d never felt a pain as deep as the one I was feeling at that moment. I knew he wouldn’t listen and would probably be on his way back home to see what the hell was going on. Being alone was what I thought I needed but most likely wasn’t the case. I thought about my mother and how special she was. I mean, a woman who could take care of a child that her husband went outside of their marriage and created was extraordinary. I loved her before but even more at this moment. I tried to fit in and it never really mattered. I continued to cry until Black walked through the door and held me. Breaking down was a sign of weakness and lately I felt myself slipping. I felt like something was taking over me and I hated it. I struggled to tell Black all that I’d just heard from my father. He comforted me until I was calm enough to begin drifting off to sleep.
Chapter 8
Black
New Money
“Yo’, what’s taking this nigga so long? He called over an hour ago. How long does it take to drive from G-town?” I was getting annoyed. I was waiting on Kenyon to bring me the money from last night’s pickup. I should have stopped fucking with him the day I saw how he felt about Kemp but I let it slide because he was a good worker. JB and I were sitting inside the warehouse for way too long. I’d called his phone six times and hadn’t gotten a response yet.
“You want me to call him again?” JB asked, noticing my frustration.
“I already called that muthafucker six times, he’s gonna make me bust a cap in his ass for real!”
JB sat there quiet, glancing down at his phone. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. I felt like I was losing control of them since they believed Kemp was alive. I had to figure out a way to get my soldiers back in line even if it meant permanently getting rid of the bad seeds. One thing that stood out about this situation was a comment Kemp once made to me. It was back in 2002 and things on the strip had never been be
tter. We were killing all the other local crews in sales and were slowly taking over. Of course with more money comes more jealousy and envy. I always knew it but had never witnessed it myself. I thought that if there were any form of hate it would come from the outside. Everyone that worked for Kemp was paid pretty well—maybe not as much as he was or as much as they wished they should have been—but it was well in my books. They never wanted for anything, or at least that’s what I thought.
Back then there was a runner named Tony that handled most of the money pickups. He’d known Kemp since they were kids and had actually been one of his best friends. Money began to come up short and it didn’t take long to figure out where the money was going. Kemp confronted Tony when he came to the warehouse to drop off the money.
“How much is this?” Kemp asked. You could tell Tony was nervous but he tried to maintain his cool. Kemp remained calm.
“Ten thousand.”
“Ten? You sure?”
“Yeah, I counted it myself before I came here.”
“I called and got report and it should be thirteen so you sure about that?” Kemp got up from his chair. I was sitting in a chair off to the side, unsure of what was about to go down. Kemp wasn’t one to discuss what he planned to do. Most times I don’t think he even had a plan. He seemed to do things at the spur of the moment.
“I’m sure—who the hell said it was thirteen? I counted ten.”
“It doesn’t matter who said it, what matters is the three Gs that’s missing.”
“This is bullshit, Kemp, you know me better than that. Why would I steal from you?”
“I’ve been trying to figure that shit out and I’m stuck. I make sure you get dough and this is the thanks I get?”
“I keep trying to tell you I didn’t steal from you. If anything’s missing you need to holla at them niggas on the street.” Tony was now raising his voice. If there was one thing about Kemp that never changed it was that once his mind was made up it was pretty close to impossible to change it.
“Well, I don’t believe you,” he shouted while reaching to the small of his back and retrieving his gun. “I trusted you, nigga, and I guess that was me being naïve. I’m not about to let you get away with that shit. No one steals from me.” He was now pointing the gun in his direction. I was still sitting in the chair waiting for what would happen next. I mean, I was pretty sure what was about to happen but I wasn’t sure what Kemp would do afterward.
Black Diamond [Book 2] Page 6
