by E. Davies
“And for my part…” Charlie trailed off, setting aside his glass and lacing his fingers with mine, “I’ve just been adjusting to the idea of being in a relationship again. I’ve thought of myself as single—or widowed, kind of—for so long that… I’m almost afraid of being happy.”
“Because you might lose me?” I asked, as gently as I could.
Charlie flinched and looked down, and I gave him some silence and space to figure out how he felt. “Partly that,” he finally said, leaning into my shoulder again. “And partly, I guess… if I’m happy with you, what does that mean about me and Hugh?”
I bit my lip and forced myself to acknowledge the moment of emotion in my chest. It wasn’t jealousy—I knew that much. I was just afraid of being the inferior option. In my job, I’d been the backup boyfriend—the emergency last resort for guys who were desperate. I didn’t want to be that in a relationship, too.
“How so?” I asked, trying not to get defensive.
“Like, if we were… you know, soulmates… but then I’m with you, and I feel like we click just as much as I did with Hugh in those early days…” Charlie’s brows knitted together.
I grimaced. Soulmates—there was no worse word, in my opinion, but Charlie clearly valued something about the idea. “Yeah?”
“I guess I’m just challenging what I believe love is.” Charlie’s voice was quiet, but he looked at me steadily now.
My heart nearly skipped a beat. “Was that a—do you mean…”
“I love you,” Charlie said softly. “It’s early days yet, I can tell. But it’s going to grow, if we’re careful. And I think it could be a long-term thing. I’m invested in you in a way that… kind of scares me.”
I took both his hands and squeezed them. Poor Charlie had only been trying to test the waters, and he’d tripped and fallen into… well, me. That would throw anyone off. “For what it’s worth, I think I love you, too. I haven’t really felt like this about someone else.” I struggled to put it into words for his sake. “Like I want to be there to see them grow and become the person they were meant to be. Like I… I just want to be around them all the time. I couldn’t even be away from you for a day,” I laughed, resisting the urge to cover my face with embarrassment.
“Someone wants the D,” Charlie teased.
That broke the mood and made me laugh. “You jerk,” I scolded, smacking his knee. “I was trying to be serious.”
“Sorry.” Charlie’s lips twitched as he clearly hid his grin.
I snorted. “The moment’s over now!” I declared, but I threw myself into him and let him catch me with a quiet, Oof! “Take me to your friends.”
“Aye aye, sir.” Charlie kissed my cheek. “I’d be delighted to.”
29
Charlie
“My roommate drinks all the milk at night.” Darren folded his arms and pouted. “Imagine no cereal in the morning, ever.”
Kev high-fived him. “Mine eats all the Lucky Charms marshmallows. God, it’s annoying.”
I laughed at the way Kev and Darren had immediately bonded over crappy roommates. Even so, I sensed Kev didn’t hate Adam. Especially not after he’d tried to come to his rescue, awkward as it had been for him. It was just a series of little annoyances, and it was good for him to finally have an outlet.
Darren held up a finger. “No, I can still one-up you here. He always told me he was lactose-intolerant.”
Kev and I gasped at the same moment before I shook my head. “Shit. That’s dedication.”
“How the hell did you end up with a roomie that bad?” Ben wanted to know. He looked confused and alarmed at all these stories. “And why haven’t you moved out?”
“Oh, money.” Darren waved a hand. “I need to split the bills with someone. Better the devil you know.”
“Even the ex you know?” I asked, quirking a brow. I wasn’t sure about it, but I’d gotten the impression from the way he talked that his roommate was his ex.
Kev gasped again. “No.”
“Yeah,” Darren said with a sigh and a roll of his eyes. “Fine, I admit it: we’re exes.”
“You’re living with your ex?” Ben exclaimed. “Dude.”
I winced. “I think Darren wins the pity drink of the night.” I flagged down the waitress to ask for one more round, on me. I didn’t want to get too drunk before bringing Kev to meet Hugh’s parents, but a couple drinks would sure steady the nerves.
“It sucks, but whatever. The regret-fueled sex is hot.” Darren smiled, but none of us missed the hint of bitterness. “Anyway, you two are too cute together. Restoring all of our faith in true love, etc.”
“Seconded.” Ben toasted that. “I have a good excuse for my next foam party. I might just meet The One in Friction, too.”
I laughed. “Well, we didn’t exactly…” I traded looks with Kev before shrugging. “Yeah, I guess we did.”
“I know damn well you met in front of me,” Darren said, smirking. “I knew you two would get along.”
“Yeah, right!” I laughed. “You shooed him away!”
“Before I could even give him my name,” Kev added, punching Darren’s arm lightly. “Asshole.”
“We always want a taste of the forbidden,” Darren said sagely.
Ben snorted. “You’re so full of shit,” he told Darren, who just flipped him off and laughed. The two of them were getting along just fine, too.
It made me smile. I’d suddenly formed a little friendship group. Not many strong, but so far, so good. Maybe I wasn’t as bad at this friendship thing as I’d thought.
All that talk got my mind turning, though. As much as Kev seemed secretly fond of Adam, would it make his life easier if he didn’t have to share a place with him? My house was a hell of a lot nicer. I just wasn’t sure when normal people would ask each other to move in. Hugh and I had waited a couple years, after all.
But was it too soon? God, I wished I had a relationship guide—other than the ones sitting in front of me, with Kev right there listening in. My instinct told me that every relationship was different, and judging this one by my last successful relationship wasn’t a good idea.
I had to follow my heart, as hard as it was for me.
When we were finished our drinks and several rounds of goodbye hugs, I finally escaped the place, leaving Ben and Darren to keep flirting outrageously.
“So, that’s Ben.”
“You didn’t tell me Darren was gonna be there.” Kev grinned at me. “Did you know each other from before, at the bar?”
I chuckled. “Nope. That was the first time we’d met, too.”
“Weird how life works out.” Kev took my hand as we waited for the Uber. “You can go out night after night and then find yourself with a new friend and a boyfriend all at once.”
I noticed his faintly possessive tone when he took my hand. “Mmm.” I squeezed his hand and smiled. “Now for the tricky part.”
“At least you don’t have to meet mine,” Kev murmured, but he was gazing down the street. I could tell it was a bittersweet victory, having cut them out of his life.
“And I’ve got two sets. That’s more than enough to go around,” I murmured. Kev swayed into me and I snuggled up against his back, wrapping my arms around his waist.
“Charlie?”
“Hm?”
Kev’s voice was soft as he covered my hands with his own, resting his arms along mine. “Thank you.”
“No,” I murmured. “Thank you for being you. I’m the luckiest guy in all of Brooklyn. And Manhattan, too. All five of the boroughs.”
Kev laughed and rubbed his thumb along mine. “Whoa.”
“I believe it,” I insisted. “And one of these days, so will you.”
“I hope so. At least, I hope Hugh’s parents believe it.”
“You’ll be fine,” I assured him and kissed behind his ear as we spotted the Uber heading toward us. “They’ll love you.” I just hoped like hell it was as true as I made it sound.
“Welcome! Co
me on in.”
As always, Linda greeted me with a hug, and Chris said hello with a handshake. This time, they extended the same courtesy to my new boyfriend.
God, this was a weird moment, but if anyone else felt awkward, they didn’t show it.
“Pleased to meet you,” Kev told them. That charming megawatt smile was turned all the way up, but it didn’t feel fake.
He listened with interest as Chris whisked him off to describe the barbecued meal he was preparing, and Linda took me to the kitchen to serve drinks.
“I’m so glad you brought him to meet us,” Linda whispered and passed over the fancy drinking glasses. “We’ve been waiting for so long.”
I sighed and shrugged. “So have I. But if I hadn’t been, I wouldn’t have met him at the right time, so…” I picked up the tray of glasses and brought them to the table. I eyed her as I set them by each place.
“Oh, I’ll save the interrogation until Chris gets in,” she assured me with a wink.
Just then, they both came in, carrying plates of home-barbecued food. Kev was laughing, and I managed to knock two of the glasses over. Thankfully, neither broke. Linda winked at me, which only flustered me more, but mercifully, didn’t say anything.
Even the dreaded careers conversation went fairly easily. “What do you do?” Chris asked after dessert, and before I could interrupt, Kev had his answer ready.
“I’m about to go back to school. I want to study psychology and political science.”
I blinked at him. “Poli sci?”
“You aren’t two-faced enough to be a politician,” Linda teased with a smile. “Our Charlie wouldn’t have you around otherwise.”
Both of us blushed—I knew from my own warm cheeks and the way Linda and Chris laughed at us. “Well, uh. Thanks,” Kev answered with another of those charming smiles. “But I don’t know. I think in local government there’s room for someone who really wants to make change. That’s more of a long-term goal, anyway. Politics doesn’t really pay until you get to a career track.”
“Too true,” Chris agreed. “And psychology?”
“Well, counseling. My college has a fast-track program. I was going to take another trade, but I’ve been thinking about my options. I may as well go for something I really want.” This must have been a recent decision. He looked at me with trepidation as he said it. “I made my mind up pretty quickly when I finally gave myself permission to go for what I want.”
Oh. He was drawing a parallel here, wasn’t he? I wasn’t going to stop blushing any time soon. “Um. That’s fantastic,” I managed with a smile, and leapt to my feet. “I’ll get the dishes.”
Everyone laughed at my hasty escape as they kept asking him about how he liked New York City. They were being gentle with him, and I appreciated the hell out of them.
“What about your family? Where do they live?”
I winced. Shit. I was too far away from them to be able to rescue him here, and all I could do was listen as I loaded the dishwasher.
“Tennessee, still, I assume. I unfriended them long ago.”
I raced to load the cutlery in the basket, but there was no need to hurry. Linda just gently said, “Oh. We didn’t realize—I’m sorry.”
“They can’t live with me, so I’m not gonna put up with that,” Kev said simply. “Not when I have a lot of life to live.”
“Good for you.” Chris scoffed. “Wish I could tell those kinds of parents what I think of them.”
When I came back, the conversation had changed to TV shows. Kev offered me a little smile when I took his hand. No disasters to avert.
So far, it had been so damn easy for Kev to fit into my life.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I’d expected. An interrogation? A litany of stories about Hugh and how he couldn’t compare to him? My friends and family weren’t those kinds of people. Even my blood relatives, distant though they sometimes were, loved me. They wouldn’t want to make more trouble for me.
And for this, I got to call Kev my boyfriend? All it had taken was the strength to stand up and admit that I wanted this man by my side. That was a price I’d pay any minute of any day.
“Speaking of career changes,” I told them, “I’m making one of my own.”
“Oh?” This surprised them more. “Are you getting out of architecture and joining the circus?”
Kev laughed along with them, and even I smiled. “No. I’m switching to a bigger firm. I’m starting interviews tomorrow.”
“Congratulations on moving up,” Chris told me. “What prompted this?”
I had a long list of possible answers, but in the end, it was simple. “I have to follow my heart. That much is easy to decide. I’ll let you know how I get on with the rest.”
“The two of you are clearly well-matched,” Chris finally concluded as he stretched. “Are you staying for wine, or would you rather get home?”
“I think we should get home for tonight,” I answered. “We’ve got a lot of plans ahead of us. Let’s take a raincheck on the wine.”
“Raincheck written,” Chris mimed writing one and handing it to me. “Kev, it’s such a pleasure to meet you. It’s nice to see Charlie happy with you.”
“I—I hope I can keep making him happy.” Kev audibly gulped. “I know it must not be easy for you, and you’ve been so gracious tonight.”
Linda and Chris exchanged looks, and Linda was the one to speak. “Honey, don’t you feel bad about what happened before you came into the picture. We’ll never stop missing Hugh, but that doesn’t mean we won’t welcome you.”
“As far as we’re concerned,” Chris added, “we had one son, and now we’re blessed with three. You don’t get a lot luckier than that.”
I’d never seen Kev’s eyes water before, except in the great cup disaster. He quickly moved in to hug Linda and turn his face away from us. It was hard to watch, but even I was getting a little misty-eyed.
“Thank you,” Kev finally murmured.
When we made our escape to the Uber, Kev held onto my hand all the way into the car, and even afterward, he reached across the gap between seats to keep doing so.
“You good?” I asked once we were on our way back to my place.
“Yeah,” Kev murmured as we sped through the relatively traffic-free streets, his voice barely audible over the hum of road noise. “I’m really good. You?”
“I don’t know what I was worried about,” I admitted and smiled. “I guess I’ve been planning for contingencies, making up obstacles in my head…”
“No need to make it harder than it is,” Kev said. I bit back my grin, trying to think of a solemn response, but he joined in my snicker with a laugh of his own. “God, Charlie. Such a dirty mind.”
“I blame you completely,” I told him.
“Blame I’m happy to accept.” He ran his thumb along my palm, and I spent the rest of the ride planning all the sweet ways I could make love to him tonight.
Every building needed a solid foundation, and this night felt like the last cornerstone of ours. That deserved a celebration.
30
Kev
“Remember when I asked if you believed in love?”
Oh, boy. I tapped my water glass and winked at Charlie. “Changed my mind. I’m going to need wine for this conversation.”
“My pleasure.” Charlie laughed and went to grab the bottle and two glasses.
I followed him to the kitchen. Many of my most important conversations had happened in the kitchen. There was something about it that just seemed to lead to good conversations. “Yeah, I remember. What about it?”
“Well,” Charlie hummed, carefully rotating his hand to drive the corkscrew into the cork. “You seemed kind of skeptical of it. I don’t know if that’s the right word. But I wondered how that’s changed, if we’re… you know, in love.”
I should have expected this. He was whip-smart and had a great memory for everything involving me. I wasn’t used to people remembering my feelings—just my appearan
ce, or what I’d done for them sexually. It took me off-guard for a few moments. “Um… right. I did say things about that, probably.”
“You were concerned about not being Pretty Woman-ed or something,” Charlie reminded me as he handed over a wine glass.
I clinked it against his and sipped before smiling. We shared a taste in wine—simple and sweet, not fancy and dry and awful-tasting stuff you had to pretend to smell for notes of candy apples or some crap like that. “Yeah, that’s always been a fear of mine.” We headed back to the couch and snuggled in together as I cradled my glass against my chest.
“And is it still?”
“Yeah, a bit,” I admitted. Everything had gone fine with his friends and family—a bit too fine. “Especially if you believe in soulmates like you said earlier.”
Charlie looked as confused as I’d felt when I realized that having that idea challenged actually upset him. “Why does that worry you?”
“Because…” I breathed out a quick laugh, forcing myself not to joke and cover it up. If I wanted emotional vulnerability from him, I had to give it, too. “Because one guy has control over me somehow. I’ve fought since I was sixteen—longer, really—to be out of anyone’s control.”
“Love is vulnerable. That’s the beautiful part of it. You both have to bare your hearts to bear each other’s burdens.”
I swallowed hard around the lump that had risen in my throat. A little wine helped wash it down for now. “Yeah,” I managed hoarsely. “The last few weeks talking with you, so much stuff has unwound in my head. I realized you’re not trying to change me, you’re trying to help me be what I want to be.”
“Exactly.” Charlie smiled. “Whatever crazy thing you’re up to, I want to know about it and help and… you know, support, if you’ll let me.”
“I didn’t know how to take that,” I admitted. “I mean, I feel like I’ve just begun my real life. Like all those years back in Tennessee were just training. And meeting you almost right away… I mean, it’s actually a good thing. You’re patient and you’re experienced. And I like that you have a life history you haven’t run across half the States to escape.”
