by J. L. Murray
“I have had no village for a great long while,” said Eleni. “It was I supplying the village, not the other way round. I can survive without them. They could not survive without me.”
“Aye,” said Fin. “True enough.” He sighed. “I was told not to tell you this. That you would not be ready to hear this yet.”
“But you are going to tell me anyway,” said Eleni. She was so tired that it felt as though she had to push the words out to talk.
“I suppose I am,” said Fin. He smiled with his eyes. Eleni liked seeing him do that. “The friend I'm taking you to see, her name is Magda. She can help you find your mother.”
Eleni narrowed her eyes at him. “Another lie?” she said. “To get you what you want?”
“No,” said Fin, offended. “The truth.”
“Why would she do this for me?” said Eleni.
“Not for you,” he said. “For her, too. She's been looking for your mother for a very long time.”
Eleni shook her head, confused again. “Why is she looking for my mother?”
“Because Magda is her sister.”
Chapter Six
Fin took Eleni to the spot where he'd made camp. To an outsider it would look just like any other part of the forest. There was no indentation in the patch of grass where he slept because everything he touched grew back as it had been. He drank from the stream and he made no fire. He ate from his traveling pouch and any food he noticed in the woods along the way. He could be as invisible as he needed to in the forest. It wasn't his natural home, but he felt comfortable enough there.
Eleni had stumbled a few times, but ignored his offers of help. She lay down in the grass where the sun met the shade. Exactly where he had been lying only hours before. The sunlight shone on her face and she closed her eyes. For a moment, for the first time since Fin had met her, Eleni looked happy. She looked tired to the marrow, but happy. Then she started to snore.
Fin heard her rustle the grass when she woke. He felt it when she jerkily pulled at the tent of ivy he had grown around her. He knew when she lunged out of the shelter and into the brisk air.
He was sharpening a knife on a stone and didn't stop when he heard her. The wolf was resting by his side, watching the movement of the knife as he slid it across the stone. The animal's eyes shifted to Eleni, but Fin didn't turn. This was her chance to run if she wanted to. He wasn't going to force her to come with him. The wolf made no move to go to her. Fin sensed her looking towards the thick of trees at her back. If she ran she would never find out what had happened to her mother. He could almost feel her thought process. Weighing her options. He wondered if she had ever had options before.
Fin stopped sharpening his knife. Without turning around, he spoke to her in a low voice. “Feeling better?”
“Yes,” said Eleni. “Much better.”
“I'm sorry if the plants scared you,” he said. “I was afraid you'd be scorched by the sun.”
“They didn't scare me,” said Eleni, her voice defensive. Fin smiled a small smile.
“Are you going to run?” said Fin. “Or are you going to come with me?” Eleni was silent. “I can't make you come, you know,” he said. “You are free to do as you please. But I think Magda can help you. And it might not hurt to meet some of your family. No one should be alone in this world.”
Eleni walked around him and crouched. She picked at the long grass. The moonlight fell on her pale skin and gave the impression that she was glowing from within. Perhaps she was. But when she looked at him, her eyes were disarmingly pale. Fin felt she was shooting ice into his chest when she looked at him with those eyes. They were such a pale blue they were almost white. “Are you alone?” she said.
“Aye,” he said. “I am. Now.”
“Have you lost someone?”
Fin didn't look at her. He looked away toward the direction of the moon, rising in the sky. He may have gotten angry at anyone else who asked such a blunt personal question. But Eleni didn't know anything of social niceties, though he was sure she could understand his pain. “My brother,” he said. “And two sisters.”
“So many,” said Eleni. “Can one have that much family?”
Fin snorted. “Apparently not.”
“How did they die?”
“You ask a lot of questions,” he said, looking at her. She looked down into the grass.
“You leave me with a lot of questions,” she said.
He nodded, frowning. “I suppose I do. Must be hard, not knowing the world. We can remedy that. I can take you anywhere you like. If you want.”
“But I have to see this Magda first?” said Eleni. “I prefer to do what I like.”
“And what would you like to do?” said Fin, looking at her.
Eleni looked up at the sky. The moon was bright, hanging round and heavy in the sky. She pushed her matted hair from her face. Finally she looked back at Fin, who hadn't moved. “I would like to meet Magda,” she said. “If she was sister to my mother, she must know things about her. Things that you cannot tell me. Or things you don't know.”
Fin looked down at the blade of his knife, trying to hide his relief. “That's good,” he said, finally. He was genuinely surprised she had agreed so easily. He had braced himself for a long discussion. Maybe even days of following her. Possibly weeks.
“I make no promises,” said Eleni.
Fin shrugged. “Nor do I,” he said.
“We are agreed,” said Eleni. She stood up, stretching. “When do we leave?”
“Whenever you like,” he said. “It isn't far. A day's walk.”
“After we eat then,” said Eleni.
“I have my meal right here,” said Fin, holding up a pouch.
Eleni looked at the small bag, confused. “You have meat in there?”
Fin smiled. “No. I only eat meat on feast days.”
Eleni frowned. “Then what do you eat?”
“There is more food in the world than meat,” he said. “I eat roots, leaves, nuts, seeds, berries. This here is a horrible bread that Magda's people sent me off with. Filling, once you get past the taste. It's precious to them, though. They don't have much.”
“I am going to get some meat,” said Eleni, eying Fin. He laughed.
“Hope to see you again,” he said. “Wake me if you come back.” He tipped his head back against the rock, picking up his hat from the grass. He shook it out and placed it over his face. The wolf was at Eleni's side.
“I will come back,” she said. She stepped into the forest with the wolf at her heels.
Chapter Seven
Fin had found an old dress in one of the unburned huts. He had known that Eleni wouldn't go back. It would remind her of how trusting and naive she'd been, even when she knew they were lying to her. At any time, she could have searched for her mother, but she had not. She had allowed herself to stay imprisoned, allowed herself to be used. It would never happen again. She vowed to herself not to trust words. Words were unreliable. From this day on, she would need to see with her own eyes.
She did regret Alin's death. She could have saved him, but he stopped her. He had been her only friend, though he had lied to her, too. He said it was for her own good, her mother's good, but she had a hard time believing that. And more than anything, she couldn't think of Krasna without thinking of her mother. She really had left her. Eleni ground her teeth and felt like burning things when she remembered.
Except for Alin, she felt nothing when she thought about those who were killed. She was sorry that Alin had to die, but he had always told her it was important to welcome death when it came. And she was was almost grateful to the Reivers. She felt angry about her mother, about believing the lies, but also an unmistakable feeling of relief that she had been freed.
Eleni looked at Fin. He squinted in the darkness. The clouds had rolled in and covered up the moon. He wasn't used to seeing at night like she was. The wolf walked along beside her like a shadow. She had been half afraid the animal wouldn't follow her if s
he went with Fin. She was relieved that she was traveling along with them, her shining golden eyes a comfort to her.
They had been walking at a steady pace for hours now. Eleni could sense the distinct feeling of the Reivers as they went. At one point, she sensed where they had changed from wild monsters to men.
“You know, usually people that travel together talk to each other,” Fin said. “It is a pleasantry. Would you care to try?”
“Pleasantry?” said Eleni. She snorted. “What do you want to talk about?”
“You choose,” said Fin, smiling. “I like your questions. I'm sorry I was short with you earlier.”
“Very well,” said Eleni. “Where is the raven?”
“Oh,” said Fin. He shrugged. “I suppose it must have flown home to Magda,” he said.
“Along with the Reivers,” said Eleni. Her tone was cool.
Fin seemed to be lost for words. He stopped and stared at her. Eleni slowed and turned to look at him. “You did not think I would not know, surely,” said Eleni. “I have tracked boars that left less of a trail than they did. And we are following exactly in their wake. You think me stupid.”
“I don't,” said Fin, defensively.
“You must,” said Eleni. “It is of no consequence. Most make the same mistake.”
“Don't liken me to the animals in your village, Eleni,” said Fin.
“Why should I not?” she said. “You lie just as well as they did. I do enjoy your company a great deal more.”
“It wasn't me,” Fin said. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes kept shifting away as if it were hard for him to keep them looking into Eleni's eyes.
“What was not you?”
“I didn't send the Reivers. I didn't want them to come. I asked Magda not to send them. I told her I could convince you. The Reivers are low, as low as the humans get. Barely human, in fact. I don't care to have anything to do with them. But you cannot argue with Magda. It's useless. And she heard you say your mother was in there. I suppose she just had to be sure.”
Eleni frowned. “They came for my mother?” she said.
“You must understand, Eleni,” said Fin. “Magda has been looking for her sister for twenty-five winters. Twenty-five. She's desperate to find her.
Eleni was silent for a moment. “I can understand that,” she said. “I would have done the same, were I in her position. She did right.” Eleni narrowed her eyes as if concentrating on something. “How did she hear?” she said. “Was she with us?”
“No,” said Fin. “The raven. It's her eyes and ears.”
“Like the wolf,” said Eleni.
“I don't think so,” said Fin. “Not exactly. The raven is literally her eyes and ears. She sees and hears everything the raven does.”
Eleni nodded. She would see Magda soon enough. She would see for herself. “Why did you come?” she said. “You came before you knew about my mother. Why did you come back for me?”
“Because I couldn't leave you here,” he said. His voice was low. “You were locked in a metal box. You're too special for that.”
“No other reason?” said Eleni.
“Things are dangerous now, even for us. Especially for us. I talked to Magda and she agreed. You must be brought to safety. Alone you would be a target.”
“For what?” said Eleni. Fin was silent. Eleni shook her head. “You have seen me,” she said. “You have seen what I can do. How could I possibly be a target for anything? People run when they see what I am.”
“These aren't people, Eleni,” said Fin. “They're something very different.”
“Monsters?” said Eleni. She snorted. “I killed monsters every day before you came and scared them all off.”
“Not monsters either,” said Fin. He looked scared, nervous, just from the talking.
“Just tell me,” said Eleni, exasperated. “What should I be so afraid of?”
Fin swallowed. He breathed noisily out of his nose as he looked at her. “God-eaters,” he said.
Eleni shook her head, confused. “God-eaters?”
“They stalk the gods,” said Fin. “I don't know how they do it, or how they learned, but they've found a way to absorb a god's power. It is supposed to go out into the universe and the god starts all over again in some fortunate woman's belly. But they have learned how to take the essence, the soul. Everything that makes that god a god. And they get stronger with every kill. Their targets keep getting bigger and stronger.”
“This is the danger you were talking about?” said Eleni. “You think I am the target for these...these creatures?” She laughed. “I am no god, Fin.”
Fin was quiet for three heartbeats. Eleni knew because she could hear her pulse in her ears. She didn't know why. She felt like she had just run through the forest. “Eleni, when were you born?”
“I told you,” she said. “After the fire.”
“I just want you to think about that for a moment,” said Fin. Eleni couldn't tell if he was angry or worried or scared. Maybe all three. “You were born just after the fire. Just after the death of Zaric, the great god of fire. Just after his power, searching the earth for a place to go, burned everything in its path so deeply that it took ten summers for anything to start to grow again. That is how powerful he was.” He looked at her, intensity in his eyes that Eleni didn't quite understand. “And that is how powerful you can be.”
“Stop it,” said Eleni.
“It's the truth,” said Fin. “You keep asking for the truth, but you don't really want it. You want to run around the forest with your wolf. You want to believe your mother is being held prisoner. You want to believe that you don't need anyone else. All those things were fine before. But now it's too dangerous, Eleni. You are angry with me for saying this, but it's the truth you want, and it's the truth I'm giving to you. You cannot beat these god-eaters. If they find you, if they sense you, they will come after you. And you can't fight them on your own.”
“Words,” said Eleni.
“What?” said Fin.
“All you have are words,” she said. “I have not seen anything with my own eyes. Why should I believe you? I am no goddess.”
“Then what are you?” said Fin. “Do you know any other girls that can wield fire? Any other mortals that can burn a village to dust in minutes? Anyone else that can spend all night fighting monsters and hunting and slinging boars and deer over their shoulders and carrying them for hours?”
Eleni looked away. “You mock me,” she said softly.
“No,” said Fin. “I am telling you who you are. You just don't want to listen.”
“I'm listening,” she said.
“Eleni, you have to trust me,” said Fin. Eleni looked sharply at him. “I know you're feeling betrayed right now. Everything you thought you knew was false. But I'm not lying to you. I'm here to help you. Do you understand?”
“I have been lied to all my life,” said Eleni.
“I know,” said Fin. “Mortals lie to make themselves feel better. They lie to each other, themselves, their children. But I am not a mortal. And neither are you. You're not even human. You are so much more.”
“I have always thought of myself as human,” said Eleni. She pushed a strand of hair off her face. “You do not think my mother is human either, do you?”
Fin shook his head. “She is not.”
“Is she a goddess too?”
“No,” said Fin. “Something more. Something more infinite. A mortal could never have carried Zaric in her belly. She would have been incinerated.”
“What is she, then?”
“One of the Sudice,” said Fin. “The Moirai where she is from. The Fates.”
“Then Magda is...one of these too?”
Fin nodded. “Yes. But they are separated. They are vulnerable when they are not together. Magda needs her sisters, just as her sisters need Magda.” He looked at her with raised eyebrows. “Does this mean you believe me?”
Eleni looked down at the wolf. She had been extraordinari
ly still at her side. She barely felt the animal's breath as she leaned against her leg. She looked up at her with yellow eyes and she felt calm. She knew she had to trust this man—this god, if he was telling the truth.
“For now,” said Eleni. “Until I see otherwise.”
“I can accept that,” said Fin.
Eleni shrugged. “You will have to.”
They walked much of the way in relative silence, Fin throwing her curious looks from time to time. They stopped to rest only once, and Eleni and the wolf went out of sight to hunt, coming back quickly with two rabbits. The wolf licked happily at blood on her maw. Fin ate his bread in silence as he watched Eleni skillfully skin and cook the rabbit, using only her hands. She gave Fin back his drinking horn. Fin protested, but Eleni simply shook her head.
“I tasted what you have inside. I did not like it.”
Fin laughed. “It's a treat where I come from,” he said.
Eleni looked up at the mountains. “It will be dawn soon,” she said. The lightning flashed, forking across the width of two mountains.
“That's the first one I've seen all night,” said Fin.
“What?” said Eleni.
“The lightning,” said Fin. “There must not be many to fight this night.”
Eleni frowned. “I do not understand.”
“You know what the lightning is, don't you?” he said.
“It is lightning,” said Eleni. “It just is.”
“Nothing just is,” said Fin. “ It's Perun up there in those mountains. He fights the gods who want to enter and won't take no for an answer.”
“Perun is real?” said Eleni. “I thought that was just a tale my mother told me.” But even as she said the words, a face flashed in her mind. An angry face with a white beard.
“Oh, he's real enough,” said Fin. He rubbed his left shoulder. “I've had my tangles with him, too. He hit me three times with that damned lightning of his before he realized I wasn't a threat. The gods call me the Traveler, you see. I help them all. I'm loyal to none.”
Eleni grunted, nodding and stuffing rabbit meat into her mouth. She wiped the grease with the back of her hand. She chewed thoughtfully and swallowed. “Why is he attacking gods that want to enter?”
