Her brain swirled with colors and sounds. Lightheadedness threatened to overtake her, and she’d never been more willing to give in to a loss of control as she was at that moment.
In fact, willing would be too weak a word. She welcomed it. More than that. She desired it. She was desperate for it.
She writhed uncontrollably under his attentions, arching her back and moaning loudly. “God, it feels so good,” she gasped. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
Her hands flew to the back of his head, urging him downward. It was one thing to live in the moment and be content, enjoying what was happening without diluting it with the past or the future. That was an admirable goal, but that philosophy just didn’t apply right then.
No, what she needed was to give into her body’s demands—and those demands were very simple and very clear. She had to feel Eli’s hands cupping her breasts from below. She had to feel his hot, insistent tongue flicking her nipples. There was no substitute for that—nothing else would do.
To her immense relief, he complied with her unspoken wishes and sped his journey down to her hard, aching nipples. He took one of them in his mouth and then the other, applying the most maddeningly gentle suction, but then ramped up her arousal by flicking them inside his mouth with the hard tip of his tongue.
She cried out. She couldn’t help it. There wasn’t room in her brain to think about anything except the waves of mindless pleasure sweeping through her.
Her fingers moved through his hair as he swirled his tongue around and around each of her nipples in turn. Even the feel of his hair under her fingers gave her that unsettling so-new-yet-so-familiar feeling of déjà vu that she hadn’t been able to shake since the minute she’d seen him in the gym. She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if she somehow were dropped directly into this moment without context, just the feeling of his hair entwined in her fingers would be enough to let her know that it was Eli.
He was imprinted on her muscles, in her nerves, on her heart and her soul. Her body knew him, inside and out. That wasn’t something that even a decade could shake loose.
They were connected on a soul level. They always had been. Nothing—not time, or distance, or heartbreak, or other people—had been able to sever that connection. She knew that nothing ever would.
Without breaking the suction that his mouth held on her nipple, Eli slid the flat of his palm down her belly, not stopping until his hand settled between her legs. She barely had time to register that it was coming before the sensations hit her—Eli sliding his fingers up and down her outer lips, spreading her juices along her pulsing seam, moving his fingertips in small circles around her sensitive opening.
And then, the icing on the cake—the thing that made her shudder and come apart—Eli pressing the pads of his fingers in a small, pulsing motion over her sensitive pleasure button.
White light exploded behind her eyes, and she lost control of her senses. She couldn’t believe that anything in the world could feel this good—although, of course, it could. It was Eli. Nothing was impossible.
Her body shuddered and that loss of control it had been aching for just moments before overtook her in a jarring rush. Wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her, and she lost herself in them.
She knew she didn’t have to worry, though. She didn’t have to be in control. Not with Eli. He was the one person she didn’t have to be strong with. Her logical brain hadn’t quite caught up with that idea yet. It threw up roadblocks, asking her, how will you survive if he hurts you again?
But right there, right then, in that moment of ultimate vulnerability and ultimate pleasure, she knew the truth, she’d managed to survive without him all this time. And at least now she’d have these memories to hold onto. And closure. Closure and orgasms. That was all she was expecting to get out of this, and she was already halfway there.
Chapter 13
‡
Eli couldn’t believe this was happening. After all these years, he was touching Mackenzie again. It was hard to reconcile that with reality.
Part of his brain was in disbelief. The other part of his brain—and his entire body–had known all of this was inevitable. He and Mackenzie were meant to be together. There was no stopping it, not that he would’ve wanted to.
He felt a slight twist in his gut as that thought crossed his mind, though, because that wasn’t entirely accurate. It was what his instincts told him, that there was no stopping it. And it was what he wished were true, that it was entirely inevitable for them to be together. But it wasn’t the actual truth.
The reality was, he knew that there was something that stood in their way. One glaring problem that could prove to be an insurmountable obstacle: she didn’t know the truth yet and he couldn’t tell her.
As quickly as that thought popped into his brain, though, he shook it off. He filed it away. The ability to compartmentalize was the very thing that had kept him alive over the years, so he put the idea out of his mind and focused on his next task.
That task was to bring Kenzie as much pleasure as her body could handle. She was so giving, so nurturing. She’d stepped in to care for Kenny when her mother left. Her father and grandmother were emotionally absent. It had all fallen on her tiny shoulders.
Since he visited Kenny every month, he knew that she was in constant communication with Happy Trails and the assisted living home that her grandmother was in. She’d always worried about taking care of everyone in her life before herself.
Not tonight. Tonight, he was going to take care of her. That would be the only thing on his mind. He would make sure of it.
From the way that her body twitched and trembled under his touch, he knew that he must’ve been doing a pretty good job at fulfilling that mission so far. Fuck, it was the biggest turn on, knowing that his caresses affected her body in such a visceral way.
Everything about her movements told him one thing and one thing only—she enjoyed this every bit as much as he did, and that was so damn intoxicating.
Not to mention the way that her nipples had sprung so readily to life in his mouth and how unbelievably wet she’d been when he slipped his fingers between her thighs.
But nothing compared to the moment when she exploded with a powerful orgasm almost as soon as his fingertips touched the sensitive nub at the top of her mound. It was as if she was a rubber band stretched to the limit and his fingers barely even needed to brush it to make it snap with a powerful recoil.
As soon as he felt her start to come, he knew his next task. This one went beyond just bringing her pleasure. Now his job was to prolong her pleasure.
At the peak of her release, he slipped two fingers inside her and worked her body from an angle she’d always loved, moving them forward and back, caressing her from the inside again and again while his thumb continued to move in insistent circles, replacing where his fingers had just been. Her hips rolled as her body clamped around his digits.
Her nipples beaded harder as he continued to move his tongue over them. He flicked them, bit them, and sucked them into his mouth as he drew out her climax as long as he possibly could.
He reveled in every second of it. Every single moment that her muscles shook uncontrollably under his body he treasured it for the rare gift it was.
When her movements finally began to slow, he adjusted his rhythm right along with her, matching her pace stroke for stroke with both his tongue and his fingers, bringing her down as gently as possible.
When she finally opened her eyes to meet his, they were glazed over and far away. Her beautiful body was covered in a sheen of sweat and the breaths she drew in were thick, ragged pants.
Eli moved up her body and framed her head with his arms. Leaning his head down he gently kissed her forehead, then her cheeks and chin, in order to slowly bring her back to reality. Back to the time and place where she was, right here, with him.
Gradually, he felt her movements become less instinctual and reactionary and more deliberate. Rather than
her arms grasping at him, he felt her fingers trailing down the side of his face. Rather than her legs mindlessly pushing into the mattress, he felt them rise up and wrap around his waist.
That’s when he knew she was truly back in the room with him, mind, body and soul.
He pulled up, brushing her damp hair back away from her forehead and smiled affectionately at her. “Hi, beautiful,” he kissed her forehead again as he pressed his throbbing shaft against her wet center. “Are you ready for more?”
Heat flared in her golden eyes as she arched her body into him. “Yes.”
“Good,” he said, a cocky grin taking over his face. “I want to taste you.”
With that, he shoved his sweats down and off and sat back on his knees. His hands covered her knees as he pushed them, spreading her wide open. He wanted to look at her, to examine every inch of her, to drink it in and commit it to memory, her beautiful, glistening wetness.
Even though he’d just explored every inch of her with his fingers, that wasn’t enough. He had to study every inch of her with his eyes, as well. Then, finally, lowering his head down to envelop her entirely with his mouth, he began to explore every inch of her with his tongue.
“This is so good,” she gasped. “So amazing. How can this possibly feel so good? How is this real?”
He didn’t take the time to answer her questions. He didn’t want to move his mouth away from the job that it was doing. He didn’t figure those questions needed answers, anyway. Her body would answer them for her ten times better than words ever could. And even if that wasn’t the case, he wouldn’t be able to explain how this could be real any more than she could.
Eli was just as amazed by this development as she was. The only difference was, he didn’t plan to take the time to wonder about how they’d gotten here. He was just determined to enjoy the fact that they were.
He redoubled his tongue’s efforts, swirling around her hard nub with increasing speed and intensity. His goal wasn’t to give her the best orgasm of her life. Not anymore. Now it was to give her two or three of the best orgasms of her life. And he wasn’t someone who gave up on his goals.
“Yes. Right there. Don’t stop,” she pleaded as her hips rose to meet him, pressing her center against his mouth as she fisted the comforter in her hands. Her thighs trembled as she whimpered over and over again, “Please don’t stop.”
The sounds of pleasure made him hard as a rock. Harder than a rock. She was such a strong girl, and that had always been one of the things that attracted him to her most. It was a hell of a turn on.
But there was also part of him that found it hot as hell to see the vulnerable center behind those strong walls. He knew that she was more than capable of taking care of herself but when she let her guard down it was the one opportunity he had to take care of her, and the only thing he’d ever wanted to do was take care of her.
When he felt her getting close to a second orgasm, he slipped two fingers inside of her and repeated the G-spot stimulating motion that had been so effective in the past.
It came through for him again. Before he’d even completed a half-dozen strokes against her inner walls, she exploded against his mouth, her thighs squeezing tight against the side of his head. Her fingers dug into his back as she rode out the climax and those small pinpricks of pain, far from detracting from the pleasure that he felt, only served to enhance it.
Her second orgasm rocked her body even more powerfully than the first. When the tremors that rolled through her muscles like tiny earthquakes finally subsided, he kissed his way back up her belly, running his hands up and down her sides as he went.
He continued up her chest and then her neck until his mouth was right next to her ear, then he whispered, “Are you ready for number three?”
Her body tensed. “I don’t know if…I’m not sure if…I’ve never…”
Lifting his head, he stared directly into her eyes and he could see the uncertainty there. “Is that a challenge?”
“Yes,” she breathed as her eyes lit with a renewed flame of arousal. “That’s a challenge.”
He grinned as he reached over and pulled a condom from his drawer.
Her eyes were wide as he ripped the package open and slid the latex sheath over his raging erection. He took his time pushing it down, squeezing his rock-hard shaft and watching her chest rise and fall as she stared at his movements. When he finally moved back on top of her, she reached between them and eagerly grabbed his cock, putting the tip into perfect position at her entrance.
“Are you ready?” he grinned down at her, and she nodded her head furiously.
With that, he plunged inside her, her inner walls wrapping around him like smooth, velvety butter. At that moment, it felt like they were connected by more than just sex. Like there was an invisible bond growing as energy passed between them and fused their souls together.
Every muscle in his body tensed with the effort to control the pleasure that coursed through his veins. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to feel good. Fuck, of course he wanted to feel good. And there was nothing that felt as good as being inside this beautiful woman. This woman that he’d wanted, missed, and longed for for so many years.
But he knew that if he didn’t control his body’s natural responses, this was going to be one of the shortest sexual encounters not just in their history, but history, period.
When he finally felt ready to move inside her without losing control, he drew his pelvis back until he’d almost pulled entirely out of her, and then thrust inside her again.
“Oh yes,” she whimpered. “You’re so hard. You feel so good.”
He had to bring the force of his steel will down at the sound of her words. They affected him almost as much as the feel of her body. Hell, maybe even more.
So he gathered all of his reserves of strength and control and pumped in and out of her again. And then again. And again.
He started slow, speeding up gradually as he went. He tried to follow her lead in setting the pace. But that didn’t last very long before she started whispering in his ear. “Faster. Harder. Harder. Harder.”
His powerful primal-self took over, and he was driving into her again and again, furiously pounding for all he was worth. He felt like he was outside his body, watching himself do something that he wasn’t consciously controlling. He was like a wild animal, running entirely on instinct, claiming his mate.
Her nails dug into his back so hard that there was no way she hadn’t broken the skin, and she continued to encourage him to go faster and harder. She dug her heels into the mattress, angling her hips up so he could go even deeper inside of her. As he drove into her, he was overwhelmed by the sensation that this was more than physical. He was penetrating more than her body. He was plunging inside her very being. Her soul. And they were becoming one in the process.
Finally, she threw her head back into the pillows and arched her chest up against him, screaming and tensing up. That was his cue. He climaxed with violent force as his body seized with pleasure. They crested the peak together and finally came down on the other side, he collapsed on the bed next to her, panting and satisfied.
Kenzie slipped her arms around him and curled herself against his side just like she had each time she’d climbed into his bed all those years ago. He wrapped his arm around her and held her tight against him as she snuggled her head into his shoulder.
“I missed you,” she whispered.
“I missed you, too.” He kissed the crown of her head and held her tighter.
Tonight would be an Aerosmith “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” night. He wanted to stay awake because he feared that this was an anomaly, an aberration, a one-time-only occurrence. He wanted to soak in every second of the magic. Sleep wasn’t important. The only thing that was important was in his arms. Time was fleeting, and Eli didn’t want to miss a second of the precious time he was given with her.
Chapter 14
‡
“Have you seen Kenneth?” Candace
Sutton was seated with her back to Mackenzie in the same floral high-back wing chair that she’d owned for as long as Mackenzie could remember.
It was facing the window that overlooked the San Francisco Bay. Still in the hallway, Mackenzie smiled at the fact that there was no way her grandmother could’ve seen that she was here, and yet, she’d known.
Growing up, her grandmother had always said that she had eyes in the back of her head and Mackenzie almost believed her. Her grandmother always knew things, things that her mother and father didn’t. Looking back, she understood that her parents just hadn’t cared enough to pay attention and her grandmother had.
Mackenzie’s shoes sank into the plush carpet as she stepped into the bright room that was bathed in the midday sun. Her grandmother’s room was on the top floor of an upscale assisted living facility in San Francisco, but it was like entering a time capsule. The space was a near replica of her grandmother’s room at her father’s house. Not only was the décor, bedding, and furniture the same, they were all arranged and situated in the precise spots they’d been in her childhood home.
She passed through the familiar surroundings. The queen bed sat to the left. Above the white tufted headboard hung the painting of a haunting female figure surrounded by a field of flowers that Mackenzie used to stare at for hours as a kid. She’d wonder who the woman was and what she was doing in the middle of the field all by herself. The painting had always made her so sad, but she wasn’t sure why. The antique dresser was positioned directly across from the bed and held framed pictures of her grandmother and grandfather, on their wedding day. Another of her father when he was young. And the third was a shot of Kenny holding Mackenzie when she was an infant.
Fire and Love (Hope Falls Book 13) Page 12
