by B. N. Toler
“Does it feel good to touch yourself, Nicole?” he purred in my ear before biting the lobe.
“Yes,” I whimpered as he dropped my hair and used that hand to grope my breast, his fingers finding my hardened nipple and pinching softly.
“Are you going to make yourself come?” he questioned, gently rubbing his thumb over my nipple.
“Yes,” I breathed.
Immediately, he dropped his hands from my body. In a flash, he had me pinned against the door. Still recovering from our heated moment, I didn’t know what was happening until he was on his knees, my right leg over his shoulder. He held me up with a strong, wide palm to the stomach as his other hand powerfully gripped my thigh, my back against the door as he licked and sucked and bit my aching core.
I wondered where my panties went. They were on me a second ago! My head thumped back against the door as Parker’s wicked tongue worked me over. My back arched, my body begging for more of him. His hands left their previous bruising positions and gripped my ass, squeezing hard as I cried out in pleasure. As my high ebbed slightly, he slid my leg down gently and stood, his face and mouth glistening with the evidence of my arousal. Leaning in, his mouth met mine, my own wetness smearing across my lips and face, the tanginess of myself hitting my tongue. I wanted to be disgusted or grossed out, but I wasn’t. My arms wrapped around his neck as I kissed him harder. I gently bit his tongue as it swept inside my mouth, earning me a deep groan from Parker. Stepping back from me, he unbuttoned his pants and slid them off with his boxers. My eyes widened when I saw his erection. He was huge. Yes, I was a virgin, but I’d seen a few cocks. A few guys that I sort of became serious with got blow jobs, but that was it.
Putting his hands on his hips, he stared at me as I remained glued to the door. “On your knees,” he said, a little breathless. My brows furrowed. He was ordering me to suck his dick? “I said, on your knees, princess.”
My face heated. Why did he keep calling me princess? Was he challenging me? I pulled back my shoulders and smiled. I would meet his challenge. Anything he could throw at me, I could take, right? That’s what I had promised and that’s what I intended to do. Slowly, I bent to the floor and began crawling to him. His nostrils flared and his eyes darkened as he watched me slither across the floor. When I reached him, I kissed up his legs until I reached his cock. Taking it in my hand, he hissed softly, and his head fell back as I stroked it slowly.
When his eyes met mine again, he growled, “I want your mouth on my dick, now, princess.” I didn’t hesitate. I took all of him until his engorged tip hit the back of my throat. He moaned roughly as one hand gently fisted my hair. I hummed loudly as I took him in and out, keeping a steady rhythm.
“Fuck,” he breathed. I looked up to find him staring at me; a burning heat in his gaze. “You are so fucking beautiful,” he gritted. “Sucking my cock . . . fuck, Nicole. Beautiful. ”
I moved faster at the mention of my name. It set me on fire, burned through me and drove me insane. I was nothing but a blaze of desire. As new and scary as this had been, I was realizing I liked it. I enjoyed that by doing what he demanded, I could undo him. I liked that in some backwards way, I had that kind of control over him. And in some inexplicable way, I liked that he had control over me; that something about him made me willing to do anything he said.
“Stop,” he ordered, and I took him in and out twice more before I let him slide out of my mouth with a moist pop. He stroked one finger down my cheek before moving to his nightstand. He returned seconds later, tearing open a condom with his teeth. My eyes instantly widened. This was happening. A part of me wanted to tell him that I was a virgin, but I knew if I did, it would make me sound scared, and he’d hold back. I didn’t want that. I wanted him to take me roughly and hard, not like a damn princess.
Once he had the condom on, he came down to his knees behind me. Oh. We were going to do it on the floor. Definitely not like I had envisioned my first time. He pushed me forward slightly so that I had to land on my hands. Oh, God. Doggy style? Shit. Could I handle that my first time?
I knew I should have told him and he’d slow down, and take it easy on me. Or maybe be gentler. But my biggest fear was he’d back off completely. Maybe my virginity would scare him away. Clenching my teeth, I jutted my ass out. I could do this. I wanted to do this.
Fuck me.
She wasn’t as much of a princess as I thought after all. Staring at her on all fours, her ass stuck out, inviting me to thrust inside her . . . fuck. I was a man of control in the bedroom. I liked calling the shots . . . I enjoyed appearing impassive. But Nikki was fucking that all up. She was confident and met me head-on. But even with her assurance, I knew she was nervous. And as I stared at her beautiful and perfect ass, I realized I really liked this girl. I realized I wanted to have this with her more than once if I could. Maybe fucking her doggy style our first time wouldn’t be my wisest choice.
“Get on your back, Nicole,” I ordered her. I needed to make a connection with her. I needed her to see that although I liked things a certain way in the bedroom, I wanted her . . . not just a piece of ass. She hesitated a moment, then gently dropped to the floor and rolled over. Her breasts were fucking perfect. They were large, real, and sat round and high on her chest. Her body was thin and toned, her legs . . . fuck me six ways to Sunday, her goddamned legs were my kryptonite.
As I positioned myself over her, she swallowed hard. I wondered if maybe this was all an act. Was she just pretending to be this into it? “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” I told her. I’d told her once we started this, there was no going back. And I’d meant it. I knew it would’ve been hard as hell to let her get up and get dressed, especially after I’d tasted her, but I would’ve done it. The last thing I wanted was for her to regret it.
My body hovered over hers, the head of my cock at her entrance, waiting for the okay. She was wet, ready for me. I could feel her heat. “I want this,” she said as she bucked her hips up slightly. “Please.”
Leaning down, resting my weight on my forearms on either side of her, I kissed her as I slid inside. Her body tensed and my mouth swallowed the groan she released. I groaned myself as my vision blurred momentarily. She was so fucking tight. Her nails clawed at my back as she clenched around me.
I moved again a few more times and she whimpered, her perfect mouth slightly parted, her eyes closed. When I kissed her again, she drew up and met my lips with more urgency, determination and desire in her eyes, and seemed to let go of the inhibitions I saw before. Her mouth pressed to mine as her hands pulled at me, begging me for more. I thrust faster, and she mewed as I pulled her legs on my shoulders and leaned forward as I pumped in and out of her, getting as deep as I could.
I slowed my rhythm, knowing I’d finish way too soon if I didn’t. Besides, watching her . . . feeling her, was too fucking good. I wanted it to last forever.
“Parker,” she moaned and I felt the buildup barreling down my spine. I was close. “Parker,” she cried out again, and I exploded, my orgasm pumping out of me as she whimpered. Letting her legs fall to the sides, I lay on top of her and kissed her neck and chin softly. When I met her gaze, she almost looked misty-eyed. Shit. Was she crying?
“Did I hurt you?” I asked, somewhat panicked.
She snorted and chuckled slightly. What the hell did I say that was funny? “No,” she answered and smiled softly, her eyes still heavy with emotion. “You didn’t hurt me.”
I remained inside of her as I kissed her softly. Her hands ran up and down my back as we lay on the floor. “I better toss this condom,” I told her as I sat up. When I stood, she lay on the floor, her blond hair fanned out, and her perfect body naked and open.
Fuck me.
Sighing, I headed for the bathroom. Flipping on the light, I went to the toilet to remove the condom and flush it, but froze. There was blood on the condom. My brows furrowed in confusion. I went back to the doorway and found her still lying on the floor. From where I sto
od, I could see what looked like a little blood on the back of her thigh.
“Are you maybe on your period or something?” I asked stupidly.
She quickly sat up and pushed up to her feet. Her eyes darted anywhere but at me. “No,” she said simply.
“Are you sure?” Again, I’m an idiot. “There’s blood on the condom and you’ve got some on you, too. It’s okay if you are,” I quickly added. I definitely didn’t want to embarrass her. I get some guys are grossed out by it and I can’t deny I wouldn’t want to bag some random girl while she was on the rag, but Nikki wasn’t a random girl. I knew that.
“No. I’m not on my period,” she said as she began scanning the floor. Her face was bright red as she picked up her bra. I was embarrassing her. But why . . .
Then it hit me.
But no . . . really? It couldn’t be.
But what other explanation could there be?
I had just taken her virginity.
Fuck me.
I walked back into the bathroom and tossed the condom. Cleaning up quickly, I ran a hand through my hair. She’d just lost her virginity on my uncle’s bedroom floor. I am such a fucking asshole. But why wouldn’t she have told me?
I didn’t know how to make this right. But I had to try. When I came back out, she was holding up her torn panties, giving me a pointed look with one brow quirked. “Sorry about that,” I laughed.
“Don’t be,” she chuckled as she bent down to grab her dress. God, her ass was the definition of perfection. To top it off, she still wore her heels and I felt my dick getting hard again.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
She didn’t stop to look at me, but continued shaking her dress out. “Does it matter?”
Does it matter? Was she serious? Did she think I was some kind of asshole that wouldn’t have cared? That I wouldn’t have wanted to make it special for her? That pissed me off. “To me, it does,” I seethed.
“It was none of your business.”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” I asked calmly, but the edge to my voice conveyed how much I fucking hated what she’d just said. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? I feel like an asshole right now.”
This time, she looked at me. “Because I didn’t want you to hold back.”
My anger ebbed slightly. I moved toward her and she pulled the dress to her chest, covering herself. Yanking the outfit from her, I tossed it aside. “If you’d told me, I wouldn’t have held back. A man can be gentle and rough at the same time, Nicole.” Her tongue darted out and she licked her lips as I pulled her to me and pressed our bodies together. “I know we only have tonight, but let me show you. Let me show you how walking that fine line between pain and pleasure can be fucking phenomenal.”
She stared back at me, her bright eyes filled with a curiosity that bordered lust. As I leaned down and kissed her shoulder, she whispered, “Okay.”
The Engagement Party
As I ride the escalator down to baggage claim, John stands at the bottom, holding one of those signs like a limo driver would.
The sign reads: Shithead.
I’m still laughing when I reach him and we give each other a quick one-armed hug. “Good to see you, man. Thanks for coming.”
“Of course. Wouldn’t miss it.”
After we collect my lone suitcase, we head to John’s car. As soon as we’re on the road, John asks, “How’s the job going?”
I run a hand through my hair. “Okay, I guess. I’ve got the New York Bar coming up. I can’t wait to get that shit behind me. The office is busy though, so that’s good.”
“Good.” He nods once, his expression stoic. John is my best friend. I know exactly what he’s thinking.
“You thinking you made a mistake?” I ask.
He winces with my words and shakes his head. “No. If I were there, I’d be fucking miserable without her.” I know he’s telling the truth. I spent a few weeks living with him after he first left Edie and he was a fucking mess. I couldn’t even give him a hard time about it and call him a pussy because I’d felt so bad for him.
“Then what is it?”
He sighs, his hands gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. “Old dreams die hard . . .” he explains. “It was something I wanted for so long . . . I guess I wonder about it, is all. Not that I have regrets,” he clarifies quickly. “I thought I’d be working in criminal law. I’m handling property disputes and divorces.”
“I see.” I nod. “How’s Edie?”
His somewhat grim expression fades as a huge smile seizes his features. “She’s good. She’s really good.”
“God, John. I gotta tell you . . . this whole thing shocked the hell outta me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you, and Edie is a gem, but . . .”
“I know,” he laughs. “Surprised me, too. But Edie . . . I don’t know how to explain it without sounding like a huge pussy, but . . . I feel like I’m at home with her. It’s been a long time since I felt that way.”
What could I say to that? There’s no point in pointing out how crazy it all seems. The man is happy. He’s my best friend and if he’s happy, I’m happy. So I let him know. “I’m happy for you, John. Truly.”
“Thanks, dick.” And were back to familiar territory.
“So . . . how’s Nikki?”
John’s brows rise and he sighs loudly. “I don’t know. Edie’s been spending a lot of time with her lately. I think something’s up. I saw Nikki two days ago and she looked . . . off. I asked Edie about it last night and she said Nikki was going through some shit.”
“What shit?” I ask. Please don’t let it be boyfriend trouble.
“Dude, fuck if I know. Edie hasn’t divulged jack shit, not that I’ve really tried to get the scoop. I do have a penis and all.”
“But it’s so small.” I take a stab. That’s what friends are for, right?
“That’s why you were gagging on it last time,” he shoots back and I snort out a laugh, almost choking on it.
“You’re a dirty bastard, John.”
“With a huge penis,” he adds.
“Is that what they’re calling huge these days?”
“That’s what your mom is calling huge these days,” he retorts. “She says hi, by the way.”
“Ugh! Don’t mention my mom and your penis in the same sentence ever again, dude.”
“Okay,” he agrees. “I have a huge penis, period. Your mom says it’s the biggest she’s ever seen, period. There. Two sentences.” And the bastard starts laughing.
I punch his arm. “Stop talking about your fucking flaccid dick and my mother, asshole!”
He laughs again as he rubs his arm, his face turning red. Even though I’m pissed, I’m laughing too. I swear, for two highly-educated lawyers, we have the maturity level of middle-schoolers sometimes.
“Now, back to Nikki,” I order.
John clears his throat, getting his laughter under control. “I honestly don’t know what’s going on. But Edie’s told me before Nikki’s father is a douche and she has this pageant, or something, coming up. Might be that.”
“Hmm.”
“Has she spoken to you?” he asks.
“Nope.” I run a wide palm down my face. “And I’ve fucking tried.” God, have I tried. The girl is relentless in ignoring me.
“Little piece of advice . . .” John begins.
“Yes . . .”
“Let her go. Or, don’t pursue her. I’ve seen her turn down a fuck-ton of men since I’ve been with Edie. If she wants you, she’ll come to you.” The muscles in my jaw tighten. I hate the thought of men hitting on her all the time. And even though John says she’s turned them down, I can’t help but wonder what happens when he’s not there. Has she slept with anyone else? That’s a stupid and selfish thing to think, considering I’ve slept with other people since we were together, but I can’t help it.
“Maybe if you act like you’re over it, she’ll wake the fuck up,” he continues.
I nod. That makes sense. Obviously calling and texting hasn’t impressed her. Maybe appearing indifferent will make her look at me differently.
I have never been so nervous in my life. John picked up Parker from the airport this morning and he’s somewhere in this house. As soon as I arrived, I practically sprinted to Edie’s room, praying like hell I wouldn’t bump into him. Edie’s in the bathroom, primping, and John is checking in with the party planner.
When I ask Edie where Parker is, she says, “They got back a couple hours ago, but I’ve been in here getting ready so I haven’t seen him yet.”
I nod as I plunk myself down on her bed, the frilly skirt of my dress spreading across the white comforter. “I know you’re nervous.” Edie sits beside me.
“I’m okay,” I assure her with a weak smile.
Taking my hand in hers, she squeezes it. “I don’t know Parker well, but Suit thinks the world of him. He’s a good man. He’ll help you.”
“Help me how?” I ask, and there’s an edge to my tone as my emotions seize me in a death grip. Men will always let you down. I remember my self-taught mantra. “He lives in New York.”
Edie turns to me, her white linen robe wrapped tightly around her waist. Her brown eyes are wide as she gives me a look that says, Listen to me. “I know you’re scared . . . for many reasons. But you have to give him a chance. Now, if he acts like a dick, I’ll be on him like a fly on shit.”
