"It's obvious to me that you need a man in your life," Jared said, his commanding voice only slightly muted by the thickness of the door. "Leave you on your own and you start doing all sorts of crazy things."
Wonderful things, she thought. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.
"And I—oh, so you finally decided to come out. Your hair's a mess, by the way, and what's with the sweater? I saw it on your bed and figured it was out there because you'd finally decided to give it away. Don't tell me you've taken up skiing. You are so not the skiing type. One trip down the bunny slopes and you'd—"
"Jared, do you think you could shut up for two seconds?"
He stared at her. "What do you mean?"
"I mean shut up. Close your trap. Stuff a sock in it."
He blinked, then narrowed his eyes. "You sound different."
"That's because I am different." She studied him and acknowledged that he was a handsome man, but the arrogance in his brown eyes spoiled his dark-haired, movie-star good looks. "Now, what are you doing letting yourself into my apartment at this hour?"
"I came to see you, and you weren't here, so I—"
"Made yourself at home?" She glanced around at the newspapers scattered over her white sofa, the half-eaten sandwich on a plate on the coffee table and the opened Coke can that had left rings on the glass.
She also noticed that her red pillow was lying at the end of the sofa where she'd left it after she and Greg had frolicked there. The thought that Jared had put his head on the same pillow while he waited for her to come home brought a fresh surge of anger. "You certainly did make yourself at home."
"This used to be my home, too," he said quietly.
"In case you hadn't noticed, you moved out six months ago. And funny thing, but now that I'm paying all the rent, I have this crazy idea that the place belongs to me."
"Well, now, it does. It most certainly does." His tone softened and he used that slow, sexy smile that once had made her feel lucky that a man who looked like Jared wanted to be her guy. "And I didn't mean to trespass. I just needed you, honey, so I acted on impulse and came over."
"There's no law against that." She didn't acknowledge his astounding statement that he needed her. She'd have to take time to digest that one. During their relationship he'd never uttered those words. Instead, he'd usually carried on about how much she needed him. "The problem is that you came in and spent the night here."
"I thought I'd surprise you."
"Oh, you did that."
"And I thought, since you didn't ask for the key back, that you were hoping that one of these days I might show up."
Bingo. She hadn't wanted to admit that to herself, but there was some truth in his assumption. Now that she had more self-confidence, she was embarrassed to think that she'd secretly wanted Jared to come back, despite knowing that he was loud, arrogant and sloppy.
Greg had shown her that she didn't have to settle for Jared. Just in time, too. If she hadn't spent the past three nights with Greg, Jared might have been able to swoop in and bulldoze her again, especially considering that it was the holiday season.
"What do you say, Suzanne?" He stepped closer. "I've missed you. And you know what? Your hair looks kind of sexy like that."
The scent of his aftershave was familiar, but it failed to thrill her the way it used to. She backed up. "It's too late, Jared."
"I can't believe that. I've been an idiot not to realize how great we were together, but I can see that now. It's Christmas, honey. Let's find a sprig of mistletoe and make up. I think it's time you and I started talking about what kind of wedding we'd like."
She stepped back again before he could reach for her. "I'm afraid not, Jared."
His look of amazement was followed by a scowl. "There's someone else, isn't there?"
"As a matter of fact, there is."
His scowl darkened. "Who is he?"
"That's my business."
"I saw how bedraggled you looked when you came in here, with your hair going every which way. You were with him, weren't you?"
"I don't have to answer your questions, Jared. Come to think of it, you've overstayed your welcome." She held out her hand. "I'd like my key back."
He ignored her. "If he's the kind who left you to find your own way home, then you'd better reconsider, babe. It's not every day that a guy like me comes along and makes you an offer."
"There's no doubt you're one of a kind." She wondered how she'd ever considered this pompous fool as a marriage prospect. If he'd proposed six months ago, she would have accepted. The thought made her shiver.
"You're damn right. So let's forget this nonsense and get back together."
"The key, Jared." She stuck her hand out again. He fished in his pocket and pulled it out. But as he put it in her hand, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her roughly into his arms.
"Jared, stop it!" She struggled to get away. "Come on, Suzanne." He held her tight. "You've forgotten how good it could be between us."
"Ha. It wasn't that good, as you always reminded me. Now let me go." She regretted not starting at the gym a few months ago, so she'd be stronger. He, on the other hand, was plenty strong.
"Nope." He managed to get hold of her chin and lowered his head.
"I'll bite you."
He didn't look the least worried. "That's not your style and you know it." He covered her mouth with his and thrust his tongue inside.
She made good on her promise.
Yelping, he leaped backward. "You really did bite me!" He stuck his tongue out and wiped it with his finger. "I'm bleeding!"
"It was either that or knee you in the balls. I thought you might prefer the bite."
"Suzanne, you've gone wacko. I—"
The doorbell buzzed.
Suzanne started toward it with a sigh. "Now see what you've done. With all your carrying on, you've disturbed one of my neighbors." She opened the door, ready to apologize, and faced Greg.
As he stared at her, his smile faded. "I, um, came up because I—"
"Suzanne? Who is it, honey?" She cringed.
Greg's eyes narrowed. "Is Jared here?"
"Yes, but—"
Jared came up behind her. "Hey, I know you. You're the handyman guy. Suzanne was just in the shower. Did the apartment below report a leak or something?"
Suzanne stood there in an agony of indecision. She didn't think it would be a good idea to let Jared know that Greg was the man she'd been involved with. For one thing, Greg might not appreciate that. They'd shared so much, but they hadn't talked about where they were going from here. She thought she knew, but she wasn't sure enough to go public, especially in front of Jared, a man she didn't want to know her personal business.
But she didn't want Greg to think what he was obviously thinking, seeing Jared here at this hour of the morning. Then she noticed Greg staring at her mouth, and remembered that her lipstick was probably smeared. Worse yet, she didn't have to look to know that Jared would be wearing some of it, too.
Greg's gaze was bleak. "Actually, I made a mistake. The tenant in 46B asked me to come up this morning and check a light switch. I'm off by a floor. Sorry to have bothered you."
Finally Suzanne had an inspiration. "Listen, as long as you're here, the pipe under my bathroom sink has been giving me problems again. When you're finished in 46B, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop back by and check it out."
"Unfortunately I can't do it today," Greg said. "Put something under it to catch the drip and I'll try to get to it next week."
She panicked. Although she'd straighten this out eventually, she didn't want Greg to go any longer than necessary with the wrong impression. "It's a terrible leak," she said.
Greg looked into her eyes. "In that case, maybe you should have Jared take a look at it."
She was desperate to get him to come back. "He doesn't know anything about plumbing."
"Hey," Jared said. "I know enough to check a leak. I'll—"
"See?" Greg said. "You
'll be fine." Then he turned and walked away.
She wanted to call him back, but now wasn't the time to stage a scene. She closed the door and realized she had the key still clutched in her hand.
Fury boiling in her, she stalked over to the sofa where Jared had tossed his coat. Snatching it up, she threw it at him. "Get out of here," she said in a tightly controlled voice. "Get out of here right now or I'm calling the cops."
"You are getting weird."
"Too weird for you. Now, are you leaving, or shall I dial 911?"
"I'm leaving." He touched his wounded tongue gingerly with his finger. "You've changed, Suzanne. You've definitely changed. The way you are now, I wouldn't want you."
"No, I don't believe you would. Goodbye, Jared."
Shaking his head, he opened the door. "Man, have you changed." Then he walked out and closed the door behind him.
She ran over and locked it before hurrying back to the phone. After dialing Greg's number, she paced, waiting for him to pick up. She got his machine and wondered if he was there, listening to her urgent message.
Hanging up the phone after begging him to call her, she unlocked her door and went out into the hall, making sure she had the key this time. She charged down the fire stairs to the basement. Then she rang his doorbell. And rang it some more. Damn. Apparently he'd left the building entirely.
Well, he couldn't hide from her forever. Eventually she'd get in touch with him and let him know that Jared's presence there hadn't been at all the way it had looked. Then she headed for Terri's apartment.
Terri came to the door in a nightshirt that had Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the front. She rubbed her eyes and stared at Suzanne. "That's some sweater you got there, chick. Especially this early on a Saturday morning."
"Sorry about this, but I have to talk to you."
"Obviously." She backed away from the door. "Come on. I'll make us some coffee."
Terri's place was the same floor plan as Suzanne's, but there the resemblance ended. Terri loved trendy colors, and right now she was into sage and lavender. Her walls were filled with motivational posters. Although she wasn't messy, her apartment always looked a little cluttered because of all the souvenirs she'd collected while attending sales meetings around the country.
Suzanne followed her into the kitchen. "It's about Greg."
"I figured." Terri loaded coffee into a gold mesh filter.
"I'm in love with him."
Terri spilled the water she'd been pouring into the coffeemaker. Then she swore and glanced over at Suzanne. "You think you are, sweetie, but—"
"I don't just think I know. And he's in love with me, I think."
"Ho, boy." Terri started the coffee and turned back to Suzanne, her eyes full of sympathy. "But he didn't say he was in love with you, did he?"
"Not exactly." Suzanne fought panic. "But I think he was planning to, tonight. Except now he thinks I'm back with Jared."
"Okay. Let's start over. Tell me everything, from the beginning."
Suzanne gave Terri an overview, but she wasn't about to tell her friend the details of her lovemaking with Greg. She did, however, mention that he'd taken her to Jerry's, and that they'd spent most of the night together after that.
"I think he's treating me differently from the others," she said. "I think he's told me things about himself that he didn't tell everyone."
Instead of responding, Terri got out mugs and poured them each a cup of coffee. "Let's take this into the living room," she said, handing Suzanne a mug.
Carrying her mug, Suzanne followed her and perched on the end of Terri's sage-green couch. "You think I'm setting myself up for a fall, don't you?"
Terri gazed at her with a sad expression. "If he's the kind of bachelor type I've been led to believe, I can't see why he'd give that up all of a sudden."
"Because he's found the one he wants!"
"I guess that's always possible, but unless he's said so…" Terri shook her head. "You can track him down and explain about Jared if you want, and maybe that will buy you a little more time. He probably saw you with Jared and figured his services were no longer required. The thing is, eventually that will happen, anyway, so breaking it off now might be less awkward."
Suzanne clutched the mug in both hands. "I can't leave it like this between us. I have to talk to him and explain that I didn't rush straight from him back to Jared."
"But that's how it's supposed to work." Terri sipped her coffee. "Not that you get Jared back, necessarily, but that you're ready to move on to someone new. That's what a rebound man is all about."
"I don't want anybody new. Or old." The lack of sleep and worry about Greg had frayed her nerves to the point that tears were not far away. "I don't want anybody except Greg. And I think he wants me."
Terri seemed to contemplate that as she took another long swallow of coffee. "You left him a message on his machine, right?"
"Right."
"Then that's all you can do. If he feels the way you think he does, he'll respond to that message."
Suzanne wasn't so sure. After knowing how Amelia had hurt him years ago, she wondered if he'd take the chance that it would happen again.
"You know, he might have called you already," Terri suggested gently.
She was right, Suzanne thought, and she wouldn't get the call sitting here. "I need to go check my messages." She stood. "I'll pour my coffee back in the pot. I didn't drink any of it."
Terri waved her hand. "Leave it, leave it. Just go."
She put her mug down. "Thanks for listening."
"Anytime. And let me know if you hear from him."
"I will. I most certainly will." Then she left Terri's and hurried back to her apartment. No message waited for her on her answering machine. But it was early yet. Greg cared about her. She had to believe that he would call.
* * *
Greg walked the snowy streets of downtown Chicago. At first he'd been practically alone, but as the morning wore on, the sidewalks filled with Christmas shoppers. Greg hoped his foul mood wasn't catching. The way he felt, he might be capable of sucking the Christmas spirit right out of these happy crowds of people.
He picked up some black coffee to go from a little shop on Michigan Avenue and sipped it through the slit in the plastic top as he continued to walk. The coffee tasted as bitter as he felt. He couldn't believe that he'd been such a fool as to think that Suzanne would be happy with a handyman instead of some corporate type.
How Jared had ended up at her apartment so damn fast, within an hour of her leaving Greg's bed, was a mystery, but it didn't really matter. Jared had been there, with Suzanne's lipstick smeared all over his face, and that was all Greg had needed to see.
Obviously Suzanne had been upset that he'd caught her with Jared, and he was sure she'd want to talk with him and make some excuse about it. He didn't have the time. From now on, he was steering clear of women like Suzanne. Unless he planned to get a college degree and a corner office, he was doomed to fail with them.
The memory of making love to Suzanne and feeling as if he held the keys to the universe hovered on the edge of his mind, but he pushed it firmly away. He couldn't afford to keep memories like that. They hurt too much. And besides, they were a lie.
He had a problem, though, and that's why he was walking out here on a cold Saturday morning. He'd made the mistake of letting Suzanne into his apartment, so now the place was filled with images of her. Even his cat was tainted. He'd have to go back sometime today, if for no other reason than to check on Matilda. But he was dreading it.
Deep down, he knew that letting Suzanne into his apartment hadn't been his biggest mistake. His biggest mistake, one that might haunt him forever, was letting her into his heart.
* * *
Chapter 16
«^»
When Greg didn't call her back all weekend, Suzanne went down to the basement Sunday night and rang his doorbell. No answer. She rang it twice more and waited. Still no answer. Returning to her ap
artment she called and left another message. This was not going well.
All week she kept hoping she'd accidentally run into him. It had happened enough times in the past to kick start her fantasy life, but now that he was more than a fantasy, she never saw him. Apparently he could make himself scarce if he wanted to. Terri kept suggesting gently that Suzanne should let the whole thing go.
But she couldn't. Whether she was someone special to Greg or just another notch in his tool belt she couldn't let their last interaction be that sleazy scene at her apartment door. She wanted Greg to think well of her, and right now he had the wrong image.
By December twenty-third, her frustration at not being able to talk to Greg had reached a fever pitch. The next day she was scheduled to take the train to her mother's house in Moline for a two-day holiday break, giving her too much time to think. She simply had to clear the air with Greg, not only to explain about Jared's surprise visit but also to get some answers for herself.
Although Terri hadn't been to bed with him, apparently Jennifer had. Suzanne needed to know if there had been the same deep feeling of connection in Jennifer's case. If there had been, it would be a terrible blow, but Suzanne decided she'd rather know than remain in limbo. If Jennifer's experience had been similar to hers, then she'd do her best to forget Greg and get on with her life.
She called Jennifer at work and arranged to meet her for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. She needed to buy a cheesecake to take to her mother for Christmas, anyway. If the news from Jennifer was really bad, Suzanne would buy two cheesecakes—one for her mother and one for her to devour tonight while she cried.
Jennifer arrived at the restaurant looking as fashionable as ever, from her trendy dress to her leather trench coat As Jennifer approached the table, Suzanne wondered if she had the guts to go through with this. Looking at Jennifer and imagining her in bed with Greg was already mental torture. If Greg had said and done the same tender, sexy things with Jennifer as he had with Suzanne, a whole restaurant full of cheesecakes wouldn't be enough to ease the pain.
Suzanne had to work up to the main topic, so she was happy to chitchat about Christmas plans until their sandwiches arrived. Finally she realized they were running out of time. Pushing aside her plate, she took another sip of coffee and noticed her hand was shaking.
THE NIGHTS BEFORE CHRISTMAS Page 17
