God’s Final Surprise
Over the next couple of weeks, when Billy returned from school, he found Jennifer waiting for him at Nazareth House. She would give him a kiss and then they would go to the cottage for Oliver. They would usually play for half an hour in the wood, then visit Mr Bell. Jennifer loved those days when they sat in front of the fire, chatting and laughing. She became fond of Mr Bell, and some mornings, if she had been baking, she would call in, bringing a basket of cake and a few scones. There was really no need, as Cook kept him well supplied, but it was an excuse to see him, which everyone knew. Jennifer loved chatting to him, and they would often take a walk in the wood or he would show her how he mended things. It was hard to know who was gaining the most benefit from their time together. One day they were sitting in front of the fire when Mr Bell told Jennifer about Josephine and the ‘thingy’, the walking-frame he had made for her, and about how the children had managed to hide Oliver for so long. ‘With Nancy and Cook’s help,’ he told her. ‘Those two are a force to be reckoned with, you know, yet they have hearts of gold, but I’m sure you know that already.’
Jennifer told Mr Bell about the forms she and Michael had had to fill in for the adoption and all the questions they’d had to answer. Now it was finalised and they were waiting to be given a date when they could have Billy. ‘I know everything’s in order,’ Jennifer told him. ‘Now I just want to take him home.’
As they sat in the cottage one Friday afternoon, waiting for Billy to return from school, there was a knock on the door.
‘We’ve heard!’ Nancy shouted, as soon as Jennifer opened the door. ‘The children’s officer was going to contact you but I asked her to let me tell you and she agreed. The final papers will be brought next Friday and then you can take Billy home.’ Jennifer hugged Mr Bell, who looked embarrassed, but Nancy hadn’t missed the look in his eyes.
When Nancy and Jennifer had left to hurry down to the house, Mr Bell stood in the doorway of his cottage with Oliver at his side. Sadness had returned to his eyes. ‘Things will be changing now,’ he told Oliver, as he closed the door. He walked over to his chair, and Oliver curled up in front of the fire. Mr Bell sat down and reached for his photograph of Margaret. ‘Be just you and me again soon, lass,’ he said sadly.
There was great excitement in Mother Superior’s room as she explained to Nancy and Jennifer what the procedure was and when it would take place. Both Jennifer and Michael would have to attend on Friday, when the final papers would be signed. They would then be free to take Billy and Oliver home with them.
Jennifer had no idea what to say, even if she had been able to open her mouth to speak. Instead she grabbed Nancy’s hand and squeezed it.
They left Mother and climbed the stairs to the nursery kitchenette. Nancy’s answer to everything was a strong cup of tea. When they were sitting comfortably opposite each other, with the teapot and a plate of cakes between them, Jennifer said. ‘Nancy, how do you do it? I’ve seen the way you look at them. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last few weeks it’s that you know every single one of these children inside and out. I have been told so many stories of the lengths you go to to make sure they’re happy. I know all about the Ragdoll Express, the years you made snow buckets and ragdolls for the children when there was little else for them to open on Christmas Day. Mother told me how they survived the upset of evacuation. Your heart must be as big as the world and the hundreds of little children in your care must have felt so loved. How do you do it, Nancy? How do you let them go?’
Nancy smiled. ‘It’s because I love them that I let them go with a smile, and joy in my heart. God loans them to me for a while to prepare them for a new family like yourself and Michael. It’s the greatest job in the world, Jennifer. I’m a mother to many children for a while. My job is to ease the pain in their little hearts and make them happy again. Yet I do admit I’ve cried. I’ll cry when you leave with Billy and Oliver because, for a little while, my heart will hurt because I miss them. Then there will be a new child who needs my help and my heart will heal while I help them learn how to be happy again. Then I’ll remember you and I’ll smile because I helped to make your dream and Billy’s come true. It’s the most wonderful feeling, Jennifer.’
‘Am I really a mother, Nancy?’ asked Jennifer.
‘In every single sense of the word,’ Nancy replied. ‘You grew him in your heart. Do you remember seeing Billy that very first time when you hid behind the tree in the wood? What did you tell me? Can you remember?’
‘It was just a feeling, nothing I can really put into words, but when I looked into his eyes I felt like he belonged to me that very moment.’ Jennifer laughed, ‘Oh, Nancy, it was so funny when I told Michael – he thought I meant Oliver. It wasn’t, though. It was Billy. From that moment he was my son and I knew it. How does that happen?’
‘I imagine it was quite simply God’s will,’ Nancy replied, ‘and somewhere deep inside you knew that.’
‘That day seems so long ago now,’ Jennifer said. ‘So much has happened. Does he still talk about the stars in the sky? How often should I mention his mummy and daddy? I don’t want him to forget them. That’s the right thing to do, isn’t it, Nancy?’
‘What a wonderful mother you’re going to be, Jennifer. I think you can take the lead from Billy. If he wants to talk about them, then listen. That’s all you can do.’
A little later, Jennifer stood up. ‘Goodness, look at the time!’ she exclaimed. ‘I must get home – and I want to pop in and see Mr Bell before I go. He seemed a little sad today. I want to make sure he knows Billy and I will be visiting every weekend and during school holidays. Billy loves him so much.’
‘I think the feeling is mutual,’ Nancy said, ‘and I suspect you care for him too.’
‘I’m going to tempt him out of that cottage – see if I can get him to come and visit us,’ Jennifer said. Then she was gone, almost skipping down the nursery stairs.
Nancy sat for a moment, lost in thought, then began to clear away the tea things. When she’d finished, she set off to see Mother Superior. She paused at the top of the stairs and looked at the huge clock that hung on the wall. The clock ticked and Nancy stood and listened. There was nothing to tell her that another day, in the not-too-distant future, she would stand there and watch a tiny baby being handed over at the big oak door. That child would change her life in a way she could never have dreamed of.
Nancy jumped when she heard Mother call up to her. She hurried down the staircase – Mother was gesturing for her to come into her room. Dear God, please, don’t let anything be wrong, she thought. Not now, when they had all come so far. That would be too cruel. She entered the room. Mother Superior had a piece of paper in her hand and looked shocked.
‘Dear God in Heaven, what now, Mother?’
‘Nancy, you’re really not going to believe this.’
‘Believe what? Is something wrong? Please, Mother, just tell me.’
‘God, it seems, had one more surprise up His sleeve, Nancy.’ She held up the piece of paper.
Nancy went to her. She was puzzled until Mother pointed to the middle of the page. She gasped, then had to reach for a chair and sit down. ‘Let me see that again, please,’ she said, and Mother handed her the paper. Above the fireplace the Madonna and Child gazed down on them, smiling.
Adoption Papers
Father’s Name: Michael Harrison
Occupation: Train Driver
Nancy handed the paper back to Mother and almost ran along the corridor to the chapel where she opened the doors and raced down the aisle. A little out of breath, she looked up at Our Lord. ‘A train driver! A train driver – oh, my goodness, a train driver.’ Nancy laughed and knelt at the altar. ‘Oh, dear God, what a wonderful surprise.’
The Ragdoll Express
Finally the day had arrived. There had been one or two hold-ups that nobody had foreseen, throwing everyone into panic. Jennifer had cried, Michael had soothed and Nancy had given ev
eryone a piece of her mind, but eventually everything was in order. It had been a long process but now everything was in place and little Billy Miller was sitting in bed, unable to sleep. The children were dreaming their dreams but he was wide awake. Somewhere outside he could hear Oliver barking and he smiled. Nancy had told him his parents would not have been angry that he had hidden the puppy. ‘Maybe the stars in the sky sent Oliver to you. Imagine that,’ she told him.
Billy asked if the stars had sent him his new mummy and daddy, and Aunty Nancy had said, ‘Oh, yes, without a doubt.’
‘Will my first mummy and daddy forget me now?’ Billy had asked, and that was when Aunty Nancy had lifted him up and carried him to the window.
‘Never ever will they forget you, darling,’ she told him. ‘The stars in the sky are there for ever and will never fade or disappear. Every time you look at them they will send you love and you can talk to them and send your love back to them. They must be very happy indeed to have specially handpicked new parents for you.’
‘What does handpicked mean?’ Billy had asked.
‘Well,’ she said, ‘it means chosen just for you. How does that make you feel, Billy?’
‘All special and tickly inside,’ Billy answered.
‘Well, that’s just about perfect, Billy,’ Nancy said.
‘I wish I could take my train with me, Aunty Nancy. Do you think I could ever come back and play?’
‘You can come back as often as you wish, my darling. I’ve never known a better game than the train game you all play. I’ll ask your mummy if you can come and play during the school holidays. Would you like that?’
‘Oh, I would, Aunty Nancy,’ said Billy. For the last time he looked out of the dormitory window at the stars in the sky.
‘Make a wish, darling,’ whispered Nancy.
‘I wish … I wish that I was sitting in Mr Bell’s cottage with Oliver beside me, listening to him telling me stories.’
‘Well, Billy, sometimes dreams come true even when we never believe they can.’
‘Really?’ said Billy.
‘Promise,’ she said, as she produced his slippers and dressing gown.
Nancy took him down the long corridor and into her room, where she sat him on her bed. She put on her hat and coat, and wrapped a blanket around Billy. Then she led him down the nursery stairs and out into the garden.
Smoke was drifting out of the cottage chimney. Thank goodness there’s a fire burning in there, thought Nancy.
Oliver alerted Mr Bell to the fact that visitors were approaching and they were welcomed inside. Mr Bell was delighted that Billy wanted to spend his last evening with him. ‘It’s all going to be different now,’ Mr Bell said, ‘and I’ll miss you, little man. In fact, I have something for you. I was going to keep it until tomorrow but as you’re here I think you should have it now.’
‘Oh, but I couldn’t possibly not see you again,’ Billy told him. ‘Mummy said she’s going to bring me every weekend and some nights after school and you have to come to our house for Sunday lunch. Daddy said she’s the best cook in the world and you can sit in front of our fire with me and Oliver. Mummy said that Granddad Harrison has a car and can pick you up and take you home. Then sometimes, when we have to go places, she’s going to leave Oliver with you until she can collect him again. Will that be all right, do you think?’
Mr Bell thought it was more than all right. It sounded perfect. He got to his feet, went into his workshop and picked up a parcel. It was just as well Billy hadn’t gone any sooner. It would never have been finished in time. Mr Bell remembered when he had first had the idea. It had taken time and a lot of effort. Some days he’d still felt weak from his illness, but it was a labour of love, something he had wanted to do, especially now Billy was leaving. In all these years he had never felt happiness, just a sense of doing what was right, giving to the children of Nazareth House something he had never been able to give his own child. He would be there at all times, no matter what they needed, and there was a sense of peace in knowing that his small labours helped. Yet in all that time there had never been the love and companionship he felt now. He had been forgiven, he knew that. Maybe losing his wife and child was God’s way of sending him here to make a difference, and if that was the case, then maybe it was time to be happy again. It had been a long time since he had felt happy and yet this last year he had smiled more than he had ever smiled in his whole life. ‘God’s will has been done,’ Nancy had told him. Well he didn’t know or understand about all that but he wanted so much to believe her.
For the last few weeks he had been in his workshop sawing, hammering and carving until it was perfect. He prayed it meant little Billy wouldn’t forget him or the orphanage that had been his home this year. He picked up his gift, wrapped in old newspaper with a bit of string around the middle, and carried it into the room.
‘For you,’ he said awkwardly, handing it to Billy.
‘What is it?’ Billy asked.
‘Best open it and find out,’ Nancy told him, leaning forward.
Billy slowly unwrapped the parcel. Both he and Nancy gasped when the newspaper fell away. Billy placed it on the floor and looked at it.
It was the most beautiful train, made of wood, with ‘Ragdoll Express’ carved into the sides. ‘Knew you’d miss your train,’ Mr Bell said, shuffling from foot to foot.
There wasn’t a sound in the room. Nancy and Billy continued to stare at the train as the fire crackled in the grate.
Suddenly Billy jumped up and ran to Mr Bell. He threw his arms around him and began to sob. Mr Bell’s eyes filled with tears and, for the first time in thirty-eight years, he bent down and held a child in his arms.
When it was time to leave, Billy hugged Oliver, then Mr Bell waved them off and returned to sit beside the fire. He closed his eyes and began to doze as the dog lay down on the hearthrug for the evening.
‘I think it’s going to be all right after all,’ Mr Bell told Margaret, just before he fell asleep.
The moonbeams shone in through the window and fell on the photograph. Margaret, it seemed, agreed wholeheartedly.
The Blue Room
It had been an extremely busy few days for Jennifer, and for Michael, who had managed to take a little holiday from work. Although he now had the job he dreamed of and didn’t want to let them down by being away, when he had told his boss the reason for his absence, there had been slaps on the back and congratulations. Jennifer had been thrilled. After all, when they collected Billy they should do so together.
Then there was Billy’s bedroom, which Jennifer insisted had to be just right for their son. ‘A dream come true,’ she told Michael, who had agreed. They had known each other such a long time, yet never had Michael seen Jennifer so excited. Billy’s bedroom was out of bounds to him. It was to be a surprise, and Jennifer’s father was helping. Both sets of grandparents had got carried away with the excitement and had been brought to Nazareth House to meet their new grandson. Billy had been overwhelmed, as had they, but when Jennifer had told Billy to tell them about the stars in the sky, they had cried and that was it. He was their grandson and they were going to make up for all that he had lost.
They had all howled with laughter when Billy told them about hiding Oliver. ‘We’ll have to keep an eye on you, my lad,’ Michael’s father had joked.
There had been such activity in the house today. Both sets of grandparents, Michael and Jennifer had been bumping into each other with paint pots, brushes and glue in their hands. There were shouts of ‘Is anyone going to make a brew? This is thirsty work, you know,’ and Jennifer had had to keep stopping what she was doing to make tea.
The house had fallen quiet now and Jennifer was glad because she had one more thing to do.
As evening drew in, she sat on the floor in Billy’s new room, cutting and gluing for what seemed like hours. Michael was not allowed in until she had finished, she told him. It was nearly nine o’clock before it was complete and there was a knock on the
door. ‘You almost done?’ Michael called.
‘Be down in a minute,’ she said. She stood up and admired her handiwork. ‘Lovely,’ she said.
She made her way downstairs to the kitchen, where Michael had supper ready for them. ‘Last night on our own, Jenny,’ he said. They imagined tomorrow night when they would have a child to tuck into his bed. There were no worries about Billy being happy: they had grown close as a family in the last few weeks – Billy’s eyes had lit up every time he was told they were there to see him.
‘I’ve got a surprise for him,’ Jennifer said, taking Michael’s hand. ‘Come and look.’ Together they walked up the stairs and she threw open Billy’s bedroom door. The walls were painted pastel blue and there was a blue rug on the floor beside his bed. The bedside cabinet and chest of drawers were all painted blue. The curtains that hung at the window were pale cream with blue stripes. Jennifer waited. ‘It’s all very … very blue,’ Michael laughed. Jennifer waited. Michael looked up. Jennifer had cut out silver stars and stuck them all across the ceiling. Michael took his wife’s hand and together they lay down on the bed, gazing up at the stars that their son would see every night.
‘Thank you,’ Jennifer whispered. ‘Thank you for giving us your son. We’ll take good care of him, I promise.’
All Aboard
The next morning Jennifer woke early. She could hardly believe that the day had actually arrived. Today they were going to collect their son, with Oliver, of course, from Nazareth House and finally bring them home. At last Jennifer would be a mother. She had not forgotten Nancy’s words and, indeed, would never forget Nancy. She had a feeling they would be seeing a lot of each other in the future. It had been agreed that Billy would visit Mr Bell during the school holidays and at weekends. Every third Sunday, Mr Bell would come for lunch. Sunday Mass was held every week at nine o’clock and Billy, Jennifer and Michael would attend while Mr Bell looked after Oliver.
The Puppy and the Orphan Page 24
