She didn’t look convinced. “But hey, if you don’t want to go, I guess I can ask someone else . . . ”
“No!”
The whole class turned to stare at them. For the first time since he started playing football, Ryan felt himself shrink away from the attention. “No, you won’t be my date, or—”
“No, don’t ask anyone else.” Kennedy twirled a braid round her finger. “But, uh, do you think you could take me on a date before then?”
“Sure, how about this Saturday?” Ryan knew that he shouldn’t have accepted. He didn’t know what Clara would have planned for the weekend. However, the innocent joy on Kennedy’s face compelled him to show her a good time before he crushed her.
• • •
Kennedy twirled in front of her bedroom mirror. She had bought herself a new dress for the date. She had begged her mother for the money, but her mother had chosen her father’s medication over her teenage daughter’s happiness. That was when Kennedy had done something totally contrary to who she was. She had taken the money anyway and bought herself a pair of shoes and a dress for her date and used the rest of it to rent a dress for prom. She would be among a handful of juniors invited to senior prom. She had to look her best; she had even swiped some of her mother’s make-up.
In her mind, Kennedy could see Ryan picking her over Clara. He would go to college and become a football star while she finished senior year. Then she would join him, and they would be the star couple. She could already see the huge mansion they would live in, their wedding, and their three children. Tonight was the beginning of forever.
Kennedy never thought that she would ever have such confidence. Her entire life, she had hidden behind her braids. She didn’t want anyone looking at her and seeing what she really was—a poor, unattractive girl totally lacking a social life.
Once she thought she was ready, she slowly crept past her parents’ bedroom where her father slept, and ran down the stairs and out of the house. She walked down the road and took a bus into town. There was no way Ryan was going to see her house, or the shady part of town she came from. Today she was determined to be the girl she wished she was.
• • •
Ryan couldn’t stop himself from staring at Kennedy for most of the night. The ugly duckling was gone. Her braids were pulled back, exposing the beautiful contours of her face. This was the first date he had ever had with a girl who was purely interested in him and not in his claim to fame. They hadn’t talked football once all night. After her initial nervousness faded, Kennedy had quickly shown herself to be a vibrant, fun-loving girl. Ryan was pleasantly surprised to realize he wouldn’t mind taking her to prom solely for the pleasure of her company.
“How come you didn’t have a date for prom?” Ryan brought the subject up, hoping that she had changed her mind or might suddenly tell him she had actually accepted someone else’s offer. But judging by the stars twinkling in her eyes, she was dead set on going with him.
“I’m not as popular or as beautiful as the other girls.”
“You’re not like the other girls. You’re radiant; your beauty comes from the inside. Everything special about those girls comes out of a bottle.”
Ryan mentally cursed himself. He shouldn’t have said that. The last thing he needed was for Kennedy to form an attachment to him. “I mean, you shouldn’t compare yourself to them. The only person you can be is yourself.” He shook his head, muttering the rest almost to himself. “Some of us would kill to be ourselves.”
Kennedy stared at him. “Thank you.”
He coughed, the awkward moment. “So, you know, I could have picked you up tonight. At least I would know where to tell the limo driver to go on prom night.”
She hesitated before answering. “I thought it would be easier to meet here.”
Ryan could tell she was lying. Kennedy wore her emotions on her sleeve. It was obvious just from spending a few hours with her. He didn’t know why she would lie. Maybe she didn’t have permission to go out with him. “What about prom night?”
“If you give me your number, I’ll tell you where.”
“I could drop you at home.”
“No!”
Her rushed and firm answer confirmed what he thought. No one knew she was out here with him. This made him feel almost predatory. Although he supposed he was in a way, and the innocent girl before him was his prey.
“Okay.” The seconds that followed were filled with silence. Ryan thought it was better to end their date then. “I have to get going. Do you want me to walk you anywhere?”
“No, I’m fine.”
• • •
On prom night, Kennedy let the tears fall where they may. She was grounded. When she had arrived home late from her date her mother had unexpectedly been home. Rebecca Bailey always worked the graveyard shift at the hospital, so Kennedy had thought that she would be able to sneak back in the house undetected. But her father had called her mother when he couldn’t locate his pain medications or Kennedy. What was worse was that they found out that Kennedy had stolen the money. Now she was grounded. And she’d had to stay home from school all week, so she hadn’t even been able to tell Ryan that she couldn’t go.
All Kennedy could do now was stare at the beautiful yellow gown that hung in her closet. Her life with Ryan had come to an abrupt halt. The thought sent her into a panic. Se had to go, she had to show Ryan that she hadn’t ditched him. Kennedy looked at her watch; it was just eight o’clock. Her father was sleeping soundly. She could go for an hour and be back before he even knew she was missing. She hurriedly got dressed and ran to school, three blocks away.
When Kennedy got there she was out of breath and disheveled. She used the reflection on the glass door to straighten up and walked into the school gym with the pride of a peacock. Her eyes scanned the room for Ryan, but before she could go to him, he spotted her and took several large strides to her.
This was where she thought he would ask her to dance. She thought that he would twirl her around the room, showing her off and seal their night with a kiss. But Ryan didn’t do that.
Instead, he took her hand and led her out of the gym to the parking lot. He seemed drunk, but Kennedy brushed that off. It was prom night after all. She didn’t argue when he silently led her to the backseat of his car, or when he pushed her dress to her waist. She didn’t say a word when he unzipped his pants and positioned himself between her legs. Never did she protest when his fingers invaded her. When he touched her, she came apart in his arms. And when his eyes filled with sorrow and lust bore into hers, she didn’t push him away. Instead she shimmied down, making sure she was comfortable, that he was comfortable. He placated her with kisses, silencing her cry of pain when he entered her. Her arms held him tightly in place as he moved over her. Her back arched, her legs scissor locked at his back. She rose and fell to his urging, begging him to go deeper and to take her harder.
When they rode out their climax, he held her in his arms. She kept up the silence when he led her to the front seat. Ryan pretended not to see Matt, recording them on his phone. He only wished that Matt hadn’t been there the whole time. He took his place behind the wheel and drove her home. She was still silent when he held the door open for her. She didn’t even ask how he knew where she lived. Ryan kissed her again, tenderly, gently and sweetly. She was so satisfied by his actions that she went into the house without saying a word to him.
• • •
Kennedy’s summer wasn’t what she had pictured. Ryan didn’t come to see her. He didn’t ask her out on dates or spend his days with her. She had not heard or seen him in three months. But his absence wasn’t the only thing that devastated her.
For the first time in years, Kennedy was excited to go back to school. She was a senior now. She expected some sort of respect from her schoolmates. She’d been Ryan Carville’s prom date, after all.
But the snickering behind her back and the pointing whenever she walked down the halls wasn’t something she’d
expected. Kennedy plucked nervously at the oversized sweatshirt she wore, pulling it away from her stomach, but the looks kept coming.
It wasn’t until she walked into the library and sat down at one of the computers that she understood. Someone must have used it right before her, because on the screen she saw her picture on a website beneath a bright, blinking banner that read The United Tastes. Her photo was under Ryan’s and next to it was her name, grade, her address and the title prom sacrifice.
Kennedy blinked as the words registered, and her eyes ran down the list of the other players and the other girls, all outcasts at Charleston. Like she was. She quickly ran out of the room, the laughter of her classmates following her. Even worse were the looks of pity that people shot her.
She was an idiot. Hate, anger, and bitterness flooded through Kennedy. She was going to hate Ryan Carville for the rest of her life. And if God had any mercy on her, she would leave this earth without setting her eyes on him ever again.
She made it home and ran into her mother’s arms. Her father looked on, worry lines marring his already exhausted expression.
“Mama, I’m so sorry. Mama, I’m pregnant.”
Kennedy was carrying the quarterback’s baby.
Chapter One
Kennedy Bailey woke up from the same nightmare she had been having for the past six years. It didn’t help that she had spent the night staring at her tormentor. Ryan Carville was now a Boston Rebel, the first-string quarterback for their local NFL team, called back home only months after he graduated from Oregon State. He had been the youngest recruit in the team’s history, thanks to a sudden injury for the team’s previous quarterback. Kennedy frowned. She wouldn’t put it past Ryan to be the cause of that injury. She had learned long ago that he looked out for himself.
“Mommy!” A loud shrill pulled her out of her trip down self-pity lane.
With a groan, she dragged herself out of bed, waiting for her overzealous and melodramatic son to come running down the hallway to drag her to the kitchen for breakfast. But the sound of little running feet thudding against the hardwood floors didn’t come, and the next call wasn’t as strong as the last one. Kennedy ran down the hallway when she heard her son’s feeble attempt at calling her once more, her heart racing as her blood pumped loudly in her ears.
When she reached her Riley’s bedroom, he was halfway out of bed. He lay back facing the ceiling, seemingly immobile apart from shakes his little body made. Kennedy rushed to his side and picked him up. Immediately his hot skin burned hers, his usually toffee skin pale. He seemed disoriented.
“Mama!” Kennedy called as she rushed out of her son’s room. It was just the three of them now. Ever since her father died, her mother had made a home with Kennedy and her son.
“What is it?” Her mother, Rebecca, appeared from the kitchen, apron on and spatula in hand. She had a smile on her face that immediately dropped when she saw the little limp body in Kennedy’s hands.
“Something’s wrong! We need to get him to a doctor,” Kennedy said as she handed her son to her mother. “Take him to the car. I’m going to grab my purse.
“You better put some shoes on, while you are in there,” Rebecca pointed out.
Kennedy looked at her son and thought about forgoing everything else and running the little boy to the hospital in her bare feet. Her hand on her chest, she forced herself to take a calming breath. It wouldn’t do her or Riley any good to panic.
“Please, please, please,” Kennedy pleaded five minutes later with her tin can of a car when it refused to start. A nervous tear escaped and rolled down her cheek when it stalled the second time. Resting her head on the steering wheel, Kennedy let out a sob. “Don’t do this to me, not today.”
“Let’s just call Kevin,” Rebecca suggested. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind picking us up.”
Kennedy hesitated but then nodded in agreement, as she dialed the number of her co-worker. For the longest time she had tried to avoid interacting with Kevin on a personal level, since it was obvious to her that he had feelings for her. Ever since her run in with Ryan Carville, Kennedy had been happy to live a life of celibacy. But if she had to risk the attentions of a man to get her son to the hospital, she would.
• • •
“What’s his name?” The doctor asked as he took her boy from her.
“Riley Ryan Bailey. He is, um… He’s, uh…” Kennedy’s mind stopped working when Riley reached for her, but the nurses moved him away. She wanted to go to his side, hold him in her arms, and kiss all the pain away.
“He is five years old,” her mother picked up, “He was fine yesterday and he hasn’t been sick before this morning.”
“And you are?” the doctor asked.
“Rebecca Bailey. I’m his grandmother.”
“You will need to sign a few papers to permit us to run a few tests on him.”
Kennedy nodded as he spoke, her eyes not leaving her son’s. Riley was everything that she knew she wasn’t: strong, determined, beautiful, and brave. She guessed he got all that from his father, along with the jet black hair and the piercing blue eyes. Those eyes are what earned him Ryan as a middle name. Sometimes she thought all that she contributed was the light tint to his skin and this weakness that she was now witnessing.
“I’m being punished,” she whispered as her heart clenched from Riley’s loud cry for her. She could sense his fear from being alone with strangers, and somehow it increased her fear of losing him.
“Why do you think so?” Her mother hugged her as she whispered into her ear.
“I kept him from his father.”
“I don’t think you would be punished from keeping Riley away from that jackass,” her mother swore.
A throat-clearing noise interrupted them. “I’m sorry. I hate to run out on you, but I’m going to have to leave for work now.”
Kennedy turned her attention to her savior, Kevin, who had gone unnoticed for the past couple of minutes.
“Oh! Sure. Thanks again, Kevin.”
“No, problem,” he said, with a smile. “If you need anything else, call me. I’ll let the supervisor know that you won’t be coming in.”
Kennedy waved goodbye as Kevin walked away, and scowled when her mother said, “Why don’t you go out with him? I’m sure he would be a wonderful father to Riley.”
“I don’t doubt it. But there’s just one problem.”
“What is that?”
“He’s a man,” Kennedy retorted. “Besides, we have bigger problems, Mama. What do you think this hospital will do when they realize my insurance won’t cover shit? I probably won’t even be able to afford the medicine they’re gonna give him!”
“Then I think it’s time you visited a certain Boston Rebel.”
“I’d rather slit my wrists first,” Kennedy swore unthinkingly, making her mother flinch. How could she be so insensitive? Kennedy had tried to block out the memory of her high school overdose. She’d been trying to kill herself, kill the baby. She was a teenager, and she couldn’t handle the disappointment in her parents’ faces each time they looked at her.
Looking away from her mother’s pained expression, Kennedy breathed a sigh of relief as she saw the doctor approaching them. He had a grim look on his face that told Kennedy to bear down.
“He’s dying?”
“No, no, but he is quite ill,” he replied. “We have to wait for further test results to confirm my diagnosis, but I’m afraid your son might have leukemia.”
Kennedy actually stumbled back as the weight of the word hit her in the chest. She felt like she was caught in a soundless slow motion clip as everything around her kept rolling in real time. She watched as her mother and the doctor talked, as patients and nurses rushed past her. But her mind registered nothing but the fact that her son was probably going to die.
“What do we do now?” a feeble whisper escaped her lips.
“Well, you need to get tested as a possible bone marrow donor. His father should get tested to
o, and all your relatives.” His father, Kennedy closed her eyes. She had sworn that she would rather die than see Ryan Carville again. Death would have to wait. She had to save the life of her little boy. Still, she wouldn’t relish seeing him again.
“Is there any other way?” she blurted. “I mean, is there anything else that might help?”
“Well, an infant’s cord blood can be an even more effective source for stem cells than bone marrow, especially a sibling’s cord blood. If you were pregnant…”
The wheels in her mind started to turn even before the doctor finished talking. It took Kennedy only a split second to decide what she was going to do. She was sure she could get Ryan to get her pregnant without revealing the existence of their son. It would mean deceiving him, but after what he did to her, she certainly didn’t feel any guilt or remorse.
And Ryan definitely shouldn’t have a problem with sleeping with her.
Chapter Two
Kennedy knew she was stalking him at this point, but she was determined to talk to Matt Brown at whatever the cost. She had endured being kicked out of functions by his security and cozying up to his many “girlfriends” to find him today. And since Matt had been part of the original problem, he was going to come up with a solution for her.
“Hey Matt!” Kennedy yelled, as she stepped out of her car. She could see immediately that he didn’t recognize her, but the look of desire in his eyes did not escape her.
“Hey sweetheart,” he said, as he walked towards her, a sly grin on his lips.
Kennedy felt her body cringe as he sized her up, probably wondering if he could take her home. His pungent cologne nearly choked her when he got closer. Ignoring the repulsed tremble of her body, Kennedy put a smile on her face and pulled Matt in for a hug.
“If you don’t want me to go to the press, you will walk me into that café and talk to me,” she whispered in his ear.
She felt his body go rigid as he took a step back. Matt studied her once more, this time probably trying to size up exactly what kind of a threat she was. “What is this about?”
The Rebel's Own (Crimson Romance) Page 2
