by Clare Revell
“Will I ever be able to?”
“We hope so.”
“But you don’t know for sure?”
He shook her head. “No, I’m sorry.”
“OK, just do what you have to do to help me.” She glanced at the ring on the side. “Before you start, do you have an envelope or piece of paper, please?”
Dr. Coleridge nodded. “Sure.” He pulled an envelope from the back of her notes and offered it and a pen to her.
“Thanks.” Niamh wrote on the envelope and placed the ring into it. She sealed it and looked at it. “Could you see that Jared—Mr. Harkin gets this next time he comes in, please?”
“I can’t hold on to it personally, but I’ll take it over to the nurse’s station for you.”
“Thank you.” Niamh closed her eyes as he started attaching the leads to her head.
****
Jared stood at the nurse’s station and sighed. “I know it’s not visiting time. But I’ve just got off the night shift. I’m due back tonight and I need to sleep. Please, I only want five minutes.”
“I’m sorry. The doctors are with her right now.”
He sighed. “OK.” He turned to go, pausing when the nurse spoke again. He turned back and took the envelope she held out to him. “Thanks.” Glancing down he read Niamh’s writing. Jared Harkin. Please keep this safe for now.
His skin grew cold and his heart turned to ice. His hands shook as he tore open the envelope and tipped his wife’s engagement ring into his other hand. He turned and stumbled from the ward, his breathing coming in gasps and tears blinding his vision. Searing pain filled him, and he was aware of nothing else as he strode down the hallway, the ring clutched tightly in his hand.
He started running, pushing doors aside, letting them thud into the walls, no idea where he was going. Finding himself outside a final set of doors, Jared realized he’d found the chapel. He went inside and sat on one of the pews.
Tears fell like rain as the gold dug into the palm of his hand. He didn’t even have the words to pray, the only thing coming to mind was the phrase Oh, God. First Dayna and now Niamh. Why? Over and over again, like a mantra. Sliding off the pew onto his knees, he sobbed, his heart breaking, as he leaned upon the only One he had left.
5
Half an hour after Dr. Coleridge finished all his tests, and Dr. Anders had done his ward round with half a dozen medical students, Niamh looked up as another man came over. He wore a short white tunic over grey slacks and looked like a dentist. She hoped he wasn’t. She hated dentists. She was also tired of the constant parade of doctors wanting to see the ‘freak who’d lost all her memories’.
He pulled the curtains around the bed, before he turned to her and held out a hand. “Hello, Niamh. I’m Gray Williams the physiotherapist. I know you don’t remember me, but I’m in the same home group from church as you and Jared.”
“Hello,” Niamh said. “Are we good friends? Is it still Headley Baptist?”
“Yes. And yes, I like to think we’re good friends.”
“OK. Am I a church member? I remember applying, but I don’t remember if it got accepted or not.”
He pulled her notes from the bottom of the bed and flicked through the charts. “You are. How about I get Pastor Jack to pop in? He’d be better placed to answer any church questions you may have.”
She furrowed her brows in thought. “I don’t know him. Is he Pastor now?”
“He has been for about eight years or so.”
“OK. That would be good. Maybe when I go home or…” She broke off. “I have no idea where home is. Or what it is. It could be a tent or a shed.”
Gray laughed as he made a note on the chart. “It’s neither of those. I’ll give him a call. Chances are Jared already has, but I’ll do so anyway. OK, now if my treating you is going to make you uncomfortable in any way, since I know you from church, I can send someone else.”
She shook her head. “It makes no difference to me. Don’t take it personally, but I don’t know you. So, why do I need a physiotherapist?”
He smiled. “It’s my job to get you up and walking again.”
She shot him a droll look and pointed to her leg. “Yeah, right. How am I meant to accomplish walking like this?”
“Crutches,” he told her. “First step though is learning how to stand and sit down again.”
Niamh looked at him. “I can’t do that.”
He looked at her. “Am I right in assuming the nurse removed the catheter?”
She winced slightly at the thought of discussing something like that with a man, especially one she supposedly knew. “Yes.”
“So we need to teach you how to stand and sit so you can get to the bathroom,” Gray said.
She nodded grudgingly. He did have a point. She didn’t want to be a burden to the nurses, and the bathroom was something she would rather do alone. Not that she’d let him know that.
She watched as he sat on the edge of the bed and showed her how to push up into the crutches. “OK, your turn.”
Niamh slid her legs off the bed, aware of his hand on her back and arm steadying her. Niamh gasped as she shifted forward slightly, leaning into the crutches.
Gray looked at her. “OK, stop. Where does it hurt?”
“Where doesn’t it hurt?” she whispered. She pressed a hand to her stomach. “Here most of all.”
“OK, rest for a minute then we start again.”
She scowled at him and deepened it as he grinned. “What’s that smirk for?”
“Don’t let pain defeat you, take it and make it work in your favor,” he said. “Right on three, I want you to slide off the bed and stand.”
Niamh took a deep breath and did what he asked, though it was more a cry of pain than of triumph. Her arms trembled as she stood, her broken leg barely touching the floor.
“Well done,” he said smiling at her. “That was really good.”
“Don’t patronize me,” she gasped.
“Oh believe me I’m not. If I think you can do better I’ll tell you so in no uncertain terms.”
She nodded slowly. “Now what?”
“Now you sit down and then we start over. Do that a couple more times, and I’ll teach you how to walk.”
She raised an eyebrow. “We?”
Gray winked at her, pushing his hand through his hair. “We.”
Niamh thought for a moment. “OK, though from where I’m standing it’s more me than we. But it hurts.”
“It will,” he said. “That doesn’t mean you can’t do it.”
Taking a deep breath Niamh slowly followed his instructions and did what he wanted. She smiled as she managed a few steps. It wasn’t as hard as she thought it would be.
“Brilliant. Right, I’ll see you tomorrow. Say hi to Jared for me when he comes in.”
“Can you leave the curtains closed, please?” Niamh sat in the chair next to the bed exhausted. She closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened them again. The pressure in her bladder wasn’t helping the stitches.
Taking a deep breath, she gripped the crutches firmly. She could do this. Her hands shook as she pulled upright and swung herself slowly to the curtain. She reached out for it with one hand, trying to balance on the other. Somehow the crutches slipped and she fell, landing hard on the floor, crying out in pain.
Niamh lay on her side on the tiled floor, pain flooding her. What was she thinking? How could she have been so stupid as to try opening the curtains on her own? She tried to pull herself up to a sitting position, but the cast was too heavy, and her chest and stomach hurt too much for her to bend or roll over. She stretched for the alarm, but even that was out of her reach.
She cried out in frustration. “Help,” she managed. Even breathing hurt. She must have jarred her ribs again when she fell.
The curtain moved to one side and she saw a pair of black boots and navy blue trousers by her face. “Niamh,” Jared said and then yelled, “I need some help in here!” A hand touched her face. “Don
’t move, hon, it’s going to be OK.”
She looked up at him. “What are you doing here?”
“Visiting you, now don’t move,” Jared repeated. “What happened?”
“I was trying to—” She broke off as running footsteps echoed across the ward, and Dr. Anders face suddenly appeared by hers.
“What happened?” he asked. He turned her over, his hands expertly moving over her body.
“I was trying to open the curtain and balance on the crutches at the same time. It didn’t work. I fell,” she said feeling completely stupid. “Agh!” she cried as he checked her over. “That hurts.”
Jared helped Dr. Anders lift her onto the bed. “Where were you going?”
“Bathroom.”
“Why didn’t you ring for help?” Dr. Anders chided. “That’s what the nurses are here for.”
Niamh glowered at the doctor, the pain making her temper worse. “I’m not a child that needs to first ask permission and then be taken to the toilet!” She shifted on the bed. “Speaking of which…” She tried to push up again, ignoring the pain shooting through her.
Dr. Anders looked at her. “I suggest you stop acting like a child, if you don’t want to be treated like one. You can’t go anywhere until I’ve had this chest x-rayed.”
“This can’t wait,” she whispered. “Please, don’t make me beg, this is hard enough as it is. And I don’t want one of those bed pan things either. Look, if my rib is broken, then two minutes won’t make any difference, will it?”
Dr. Anders held her gaze, but she didn’t flinch. Surprisingly support came from Jared.
“I learnt years ago you can’t argue with her when her mind is set on something.”
Dr. Anders nodded. He vanished for a moment and came back with a wheel chair. He lifted her into it. “I’ll get a nurse to take you and then you go to x-ray.” He turned to Jared. “Thank you.”
Jared nodded. “Welcome. Niamh, are you OK? How are you feeling? If that’s not a really stupid question.”
“Other than sore, I’m confused. It’s like I’ve woken up in the middle of a film or a story and don’t have the faintest idea what’s going on when everyone else does. And I hate it.”
“Well, I can tell you about me. If you’d like me too, that is.”
“Yeah, I would.” She’d thrown him out, but he kept coming back and was offering to fill in the gaps. Maybe between him and Li she could piece things together again.
His eyes lit up as he smiled. “Then I will. I’ll come back tomorrow. I’ve just got off the night shift and am due back at six tonight. I thought I’d come see you first.”
Niamh smiled back, grateful he had turned up when he did. “Thank you.” Was he going to say anything about the rings? He hadn’t mentioned the fact she wasn’t wearing them, but maybe he’d got the engagement ring and seen the other one around her neck.
He paused for a moment, then leaned in and kissed her cheek. Her skin burned where his lips touched it and butterflies raced in her belly. “Bye.”
“Bye.”
****
Jared watched her go. He very nearly hadn’t come back, but something had told him not to leave without saying goodbye. His heart had almost stopped when he got on the ward in time to hear Niamh cry out and then pulled the curtain back to find her collapsed on the floor. He’d feared the worst for a moment and still did. He eyed the doctor carefully. “What do you think she’s done?”
Dr. Anders looked at him. “Without the x-rays we won’t know for certain. Her ribs are more painful than I’d like, but that could just be bruising.”
“Can you ring and let me know?” He paused. “I know she doesn’t know me, but I’m still her next of kin until she says otherwise. And Liam will only tell me anyway.”
Dr. Anders nodded. “Of course, but I can only do that until she specifies otherwise. After that, I’m afraid I can’t tell you anything.”
Jared nodded. “That’s fine, thanks Doctor. Any idea when she can come home?”
“Probably in the next day or two. Maybe even tomorrow, but that does depend a lot on these x-rays.”
“Thank you. If you need me I’ll be at home until about five thirty, and then I’ll be at work from six p.m. until nine tomorrow morning.” Jared left the ward and headed for the car park. He sat in the car for a moment, and pinched the bridge of his nose before he started the engine.
Nine years of history wiped out in the blink of an eye. He took a deep breath.
I will wait for you. I will always wait for you. And if you don’t remember me when you come back, then I will find you, and make you fall in love with me again and never let you go. Niamh had told him that once years ago, right after a huge fire which left several Firefighters from his station dead and one suffering severe brain damage resulting in total memory loss.
How do I deal with this? Oh, Lord, help me because I can’t do this alone. I look at her and see the woman I love, the one I spent the past nine years loving and caring for and protecting. Yet she looks at me like I’m a stranger. But perhaps the stranger is her. The stranger with her face. Is this Your will? That I do for her what she promised me all those years ago, should I be severely injured? To find her and bring her back and help her remember? Then that’s what I’ll do. Help her remember, woo her and make her fall in love with me all over again.
****
The x-rays having come back clear, Niamh had a stream of visitors that afternoon and was exhausted. Patrick and her parents had been in, as had Liam’s fiancée, Jacqui. Aside from the fact they’d all gotten old, nothing had changed. And Jacqui was sweet. Niamh had a feeling they’d be great friends.
She’d asked if she could stay at Liam’s, but everyone had insisted she’d be better off at home. In familiar territory. Yeah, right. Nothing was familiar. Her parents’ house would be, but that wasn’t an option either. She had to go back to the house she allegedly shared with Jared. She just hoped he hadn’t given her the bruises on her arm. They were definitely finger marks.
She looked up as footsteps crossed the ward and smiled as Dr. Anders came over. “What’s up, Doc?” she asked, grinning as he rolled his eyes.
“Oh, aren’t we funny,” he said drolly. “I’ve heard that fifteen times so far today.” He perched on the bed next to her. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired. When can I go home?”
“Depending on the remaining test results, tomorrow. So long as there is someone there to look after you. You were lucky earlier when you fell. You didn’t break or sprain anything.”
“I’ll be fine. Just because I don’t remember the last ten years, doesn’t mean I can’t cook beans on toast and make tea. And I can always sleep on the couch if the house has stairs.” She smiled at him.
“OK. But I don’t want you going back to work for six weeks.”
Niamh nodded. “OK. Not that I remember my job. At least not the current one.”
“I’ll get the nurses to ring your husband in the morning once we know if you’re going home.”
Niamh looked at him. “I’d rather you rang my brother. If that’s OK. He might not be able to come, but I know who he is.” She broke off, yawning.
Dr. Anders stood. “I’ll let you get some sleep, and we’ll worry about that in the morning.”
“OK.” Niamh lay back on the pillows. She stared up at the ceiling, her mind full of images of the handsome firefighter who claimed to be married to her. But there was another face. Blond hair, piercing lavender eyes and a scent of some kind, something she couldn’t put her finger on, but she knew it was important. Who was he? And why did his image cause something to stir inside her when her ‘husband’ meant nothing to her.
6
In the end, Jared picked her up just after eleven. Niamh spent the journey in silence looking out the car window. The town hadn’t changed, some of the buildings looked a little more run down in places, and the trees seemed taller, but other than that, she was the one who had changed.
The
car stopped, and she looked at the two-story house. The garden was neat and tidy and late autumn flowers nestled in a rainbow of colors in the window boxes and along the path. Net curtains hung at the windows and pinned back, old fashioned shutters gave the house an almost country look.
Jared smiled. “You like it?”
“It’s amazing. When you said home, I never imagined anything like this. It looks like it should have a thatched roof.”
Jared got out and opened the door for her. “I can’t take credit for all of it. And yes, originally it did. We changed that about seventeen months ago. We needed planning permission, mind you, but we got it.”
She swung her legs from the car and winced as she stood. Taking a minute to balance on her crutches, she glanced at him. “Why was that?”
“Thatched roofs are a fire risk.” His voice was abrupt and stilted.
She’d obviously touched a raw nerve. “OK.” She pulled herself slowly up the path. A beautiful mix of late yellow and blue roses bloomed on the bush growing up the trellis by the front door. Leaning over she took a deep breath, the delicious heady scent filling her nostrils and wrapping her in a warm fuzzy feeling. “They’re lovely.”
Jared smiled. “You planted them. The garden is your domain. No one else is allowed to touch it.”
“Did I? I never planted anything before. Dad always did it.”
“Then you must have gotten your green thumb from him, and your ability to pack a car. I have never known anyone as good at packing as you.”
Her stomach twisted. Again, he knew things about her and their life together that she didn’t. It was the most uncomfortable feeling and one she didn’t particularly care for in the slightest. “Another one of Dad’s many talents.”
He unlocked the front door and held it open for her. “After you.”
She eased over the front step and glanced around the hallway. Pale yellow and smelling new, the paintwork and dado rail glistened. Pictures hung on the walls, opposite a full length mirror and coat rack. “Pretty color.”
