by J. Bengtsson
“Oh, god. Skunk. It’s frickin’ hot skunk. It burns,” I gasped, real fear gripping me. “I’m not kidding, guys. I think my insides have caught fire.”
But nobody was listening to my pleas because they were all hysterically laughing at me, no one more so than Quinn, who was literally rolling on the floor. Now I understood why he liked this game.
Jake handed over the whiskey and I took a swig, which only made it burn worse. I grabbed my throat and made dramatic gestures of dying. Again, my torment was only met with laughter.
“Water! Water!” I panted, frantically trying to wipe the taste of butt spray off my tongue with my fingers, but nothing eliminated the burn. Frantic, I dipped my hand into the atrium’s koi pond, scooped up some water, and flushed my mouth with soggy fish shit.
Quinn’s hysterics hit a fever pitch. I wasn’t positive, but I was pretty sure he might actually have peed himself a little bit. Which would have served him right, the little shit.
“You’re going to have to get used to that, Kyle,” Keith said, after catching his breath. “They’re going to make you eat all kinds of crazy crap on the show.”
“Nothing… and I mean nothing will be that disgusting,” I said coughing. “Let’s see how funny it is once you spin!”
Keith grabbed the spinner and took his turn. I felt somewhat redeemed when he got the baby wipe flavor. He tried to play it cool like Jake had, but quickly broke down and had to rinse his mouth with whiskey like the rest of us.
“Well, thanks, Quinn. That was awesome,” I said, expressionlessly.
“You’re just pissed because you ate skunk spray. I found my booger quite pleasing,” Jake joked.
“Oh, did you?” I challenged. “How about another round then, J?”
“That’s okay. I’ll pass.”
“Hey, how come you call each other J and K, but Quinn isn’t Q and Keith isn’t K-squared?” Casey asked.
“They’ve been doing that since they were seven or eight,” Keith shared. “J-K, get it?”
“Huh?” Casey’s face was twisted in confusion.
“Just kidding,” Jake elaborated. “J. K.”
“When we were kids we used to get into all kinds of trouble, so we came up with the tagline J K to ease the punishment,” I explained.
“No way!” Casey laughed. “That’s ingenious.”
“Yeah, it really wasn’t,” Keith countered. “They tried that shit on me when they destroyed my skateboard, and I still beat them both with what was left of it.”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot about your skateboard,” Jake laughed. “We set it on fire, right?”
“No. You blew it up.” Keith frowned as if he were remembering the day quite clearly.
“How’d you manage that?” Casey asked.
“With a firework,” I explained. “We strapped it on, lit it, then sent it down the ramp. It was awesome until it exploded… then it was epic.”
“The firework was called the Red, White, and Bomb! What did you expect?” Keith complained.
“Why didn’t you use your own skateboards?” Casey asked.
“We didn’t want to ruin ours. Geez, Casey. Use your brain,” Jake teased.
“Oh, right. Of course. Sorry.”
“And they thought their little tagline would save them.” Keith shook his head. “So naïve.”
“I don’t remember any of this,” Quinn whined.
“That’s because you were still walking around with shit in your diaper,” I said.
“I missed out on everything! It sucks that I’m so much younger than you guys.”
“Yeah, well, at least you have your whole life ahead of you. We’re all old and washed up,” Keith said with a dramatic sigh.
“Oh, yeah, a group of hot, young washed-up has-beens,” Casey laughed, fanning her hand in front of her face. “If we could all be so lucky.”
In the elevator, after saying goodbye to Jake and Casey, the three of us stood in the glass box with big, dumb grins on our faces.
“Well, that was unexpected,” I offered up.
“Yeah. What the fuck?” Keith replied, looking dazed. “Since when is Jake a player?”
“Since never.”
“He was so damn flirty with her, I thought I was in some alternate universe.”
I nodded. “I’ve never seen him act like that around a woman.”
“I know. When he was with Krista, he could barely control his boredom.”
I shook my head, having trouble grasping the striking change in Jake’s demeanor. It had been a long time since I’d seen that side of him. Sure, he laughed and joked around with us, and to an untrained eye, he might seem fine; but Jake was a master at concealing his darkness. Sometimes I wondered if I was the only one who knew it still festered. But tonight… Casey… she'd brought the brightest of lights, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, Jake didn’t squint away.
Hope flowed through me. I wanted this for him so much more than I wanted it for myself. His pain was my pain, and as evidenced tonight, so was his happiness. Our lives were entwined in ways no one, not even our parents, understood. Only Jake and I knew what had really happened that day – the sacrifices that had been made. Our whole lives could be traced to that one, terrible moment in time… a moment so cruel that neither one of us had ever dared speak of it since.
“I liked her,” Quinn said, interrupting my dark memories. “She was the only one tonight who was nice to me.”
“Aw.” Keith laughed and wrapped Quinn in a hug, adding a knuckle rub to his head. “We're only mean to you because we love you.”
“That’s messed up.”
“Would you rather be ignored?” I offered.
“Are those my only two options?”
After dropping off Quinn and his moronic bean game, Keith and I went back to my room. We each grabbed a beer and a seat.
“So seriously, what do you think?” Keith asked.
“I think she’s perfect for him. I just hope he doesn’t fuck it up.”
“You think he will?”
I dropped my head and gaped at Keith to let him know how ridiculously stupid his question was. “This is Jake we’re talking about.”
Keith nodded. “Yeah, I get that, but he definitely seemed to be able to relax around her. That’s huge.”
I shrugged. “I mean, it’s definitely unusual, I’ll give you that. I guess we can always hope.”
“Geez, Kyle, way to be optimistic.”
And as if on cue, the door flung open and Jake burst through. The happy, glowing guy we'd left at the elevator was not the same one who stormed into the room in a fiery display of conflict and distress. He was now a bundle of electrified energy and was throwing his bolts of lightning in my direction. I was always the most convenient metal rod.
I glanced at Keith. He raised his eyebrows, seemingly impressed with my psychic skills. Yep. I’d definitely called it. Apparently it had taken less than five minutes for Jake to ruin whatever it was he had going with the girl. Optimism was for idiots.
Jake spent the next few minutes tearing into me for inviting Casey to sit with us. I had shaken up his carefully crafted world, and he refused to admit he’d actually liked it. Dark, ominous clouds hovered over Jake. I knew better than to stir up the storm, but I couldn’t help myself. He was being an idiot and he needed to hear it.
Only thirty minutes earlier, watching Jake with Casey, I'd dared dream. I knew my brother had it in him, but there was something that held him back, something that refused to allow him to grab life and live it. A ragged frustration gripped me. So much for hope. It had gotten me all excited for nothing.
The next day at the wedding, I noticed Jake was ignoring Casey. I also detected the confused look in her eyes. Evidently, she had done nothing to invite his silence. That whole stormy display last night had been all his doing. I wanted to shake sense into him. How could he not seize what was right in front of him?
“What are you doing?”
Jake flicked
his eyes at me and shrugged.
“Did she do something to piss you off last night?”
“No. She didn’t do anything.”
“Then why?”
Another shrug.
“When was the last time you felt something with a girl?”
“Just drop it, K.”
“No. I saw the way you looked at her last night. I just don’t get why you’re doing this. She likes you, and clearly you like her. So what’s the hold up?”
“Why bother?”
“What do you mean? From what I saw last night, Casey seems worth the effort.”
Jake sighed. “I said drop it, and I meant it.”
I balked at his indifference. Shaking his head, Jake walked away from me.
Oddly enough, at some point during the evening, he had an abrupt change of heart. One minute Jake was sitting stone-faced and miserable at the dinner table, and the next, his hands were halfway up Casey’s dress. What the hell? I really didn’t know why his flip-flopping behavior surprised me. I’d stopped trying to figure him out long ago. Whatever his hang up had been, it obviously couldn’t withstand the onslaught of Casey’s undeniable charms.
As the evening wound down, I wandered back over to our table and joined Emma and Quinn, who were laughing at something on his phone.
“What are you watching?”
“Quinn filmed Dad dabbing.”
“No way. Let me see.”
No man his age should be caught dead, or at least on camera, doing the dabbing dance move. It’s just embarrassing for all those involved. But I understood my dad couldn’t help being a dork; and really, I never tired of watching him make a fool of himself, so expectantly, I pulled up a chair next to my siblings.
Mesmerized by Quinn’s video, I didn’t notice Sarah until Emma motioned to my left. I turned to find her standing next to me.
“Can I talk to you for a sec?” she asked.
“I’m kind of busy,” I replied coolly. She wasn’t fooling me. The only reason she was standing here now was because Jake was off to nail another.
“It’ll just take a second. Please,” Sarah cooed, running her hand seductively up my arm and across my shoulder.
I opened my mouth to tell her to go to hell, but an instant hard-on gave me away. In a feeble attempt to shield my growing package, my awkward fumbling did nothing but draw more attention to it.
Sarah flicked her eyes downward and her lips tilted into a sly little smile. Damn my traitor dick!
She leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I can take care of that if you want.”
I jerked my head up in surprise. Sarah grinned. I knew damn well she wasn’t interested in me – I wasn’t dumb – but she was back anyway, because, presumably, I was the last available male option with the last name McKallister, if you didn’t count the underage dweeb sitting beside me. God, how I wanted to put her in her place, punish her for her earlier betrayal; but I was a member of the weaker sex, and as such, was a slave to my nether regions.
Without a word to my siblings, I stood up and left with Sarah. From the corner of my eye I could see Emma shaking her head. Yeah, yeah. I have no self-respect. Shoot me!
Away from my family, Sarah sidled up next to me. “How come you didn’t come find me tonight?” she whispered seductively in my ear, as her hand brushed past my dick. It jolted to attention.
I knew myself well enough to know I would have no will power against the likes of Sarah. At the same time, I refused to make it too easy on her.
“So how did it go with Jake?” I asked in a friendly, conversational tone.
Sarah rolled her eyes. “I think you know.”
I grinned.
“You think it’s funny?”
“Sort of, yeah. I did warn you.”
“Warn me about what? Jake hasn’t had a spare moment to talk to me, so we’ll never know.”
“Oh, okay.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I told you he wouldn’t be interested. You’re not his type.”
“Oh, and the skank is?” Sarah asked in a raised voice.
“Casey?” I questioned in surprise.
“How do you know her name?”
“I met her last night. We hung out. She’s a cool girl.”
“Jake hung out with her last night?” Sarah’s voice was high-pitched and pissed.
“Yeah. We all did.”
Her mouth dropped open in shock. “That little…” She caught herself then added, “Well, you don’t know her like I do. She’s putting on a show for Jake.”
With an exaggerated groan, I asked, “Did you invite me over here to talk about Jake again, or are we gonna get it on? Because honestly, Sarah, that’s the only reason I am still talking to you.”
I took a step back, expecting to get slapped in the face, but instead I was treated to a megawatt smile. Sarah really was so damn beautiful. It made me wonder why she didn’t grace the world with that carefree look more often.
“We’re gonna get it on,” she answered matter-of-factly.
“Yay me!” I raised my arms in victory.
After saying my goodbyes, Sarah and I made our way to her room. Originally she’d wanted to go back to my place, but I had visions of her rummaging through Jake’s bag and sniffing his underwear while I used the bathroom, so I vetoed her request. Reluctantly she agreed to a romp in her room.
“So what’s your job, really?”
“I’m a bodyguard.”
“You’re a bodyguard?” she scoffed.
“What? You don’t think I can guard bodies?”
“Well, you aren’t exactly the threatening type.”
“Oh, and what type am I?”
“The stoner type,” she laughed.
“Hey!” I exclaimed and nudged her. “What’s your job?”
“I’m a model.”
Of course. “Are you a working model?”
Sarah gaped at me like I’d asked a ridiculous question. “What do you think?”
“I’m thinking you probably make a very good living.”
“And you would be right.”
We stopped at her door. As she fumbled with the key card, she asked. “So whose body do you guard?”
“I think you know.”
“You travel with him, then?”
Crap. She was back to Jake again. “Yes.”
“On tour?”
“Yep.”
“That’s got to be exciting.”
“Um… yeah, it’s a nice gig if you can get it.”
“Have you ever had to guard his body, like, for real?”
“All the time,” I nodded. “Usually just overzealous groupies, though.”
“What would happen if someone was really threatening him? Would you throw yourself in front of a bullet for him?”
Without hesitation, I replied, “Yes.”
“Really?” She grinned, putting her hands on her hips like she thought I was joking.
I stopped and stared down at her. My jaw cramped as I ground my teeth in irritation. I never joked about Jake’s life. Ever. “I would die for him,” I replied.
Sarah’s expression softened as if she were realizing, for the first time, that I was more than just Jake’s stupid sidekick. “Well now that’s interesting.”
I rolled off Sarah. It had taken about five minutes to finish our emotionless tryst. It was fun, don’t get me wrong, but there was definitely no spark. Not like I expected one, or even wanted one, for that matter. Sarah was just a hook up… one of many.
Afterward, we made uncomfortable small talk. Really, I just wanted out of there.
“Do you live in LA?”
“Just outside. Why?”
“You know, I’m going to be there in a couple of days for work. Maybe we can hook up again.”
“I’m actually leaving for the Cook Islands next week.”
“Must be nice. On vacation?”
“No, I’m gonna be on Marooned.”
“The reali
ty show?” Sarah bolted upright, her attention piqued. “No way!”
“Yes way,” I mimicked, grinning.
“Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“I just did.”
“Kyle, that’s so cool.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”
“I’ve auditioned for a bunch of reality shows but haven’t gotten anything yet. When are you leaving for filming?”
“Friday.”
“I’m coming to LA on Wednesday. Let’s get together. I’m staying in Santa Monica for the shoot.”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure if I’ll have time.”
Sarah crawled onto her knees, her hands snaking up my body. I shuddered involuntarily. “Come on. You know you liked it.”
Regardless of the fact that I saw right through her newfound interest in me, I couldn’t deny that she turned me on, and one more romp in the sack with a smoking hot model wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. I could swallow my pride for one more night.
7
Kyle: Someone For Everyone
The next morning I awoke to “Mom-gate”. After Jake had failed to return from his evening with Casey and subsequently missed brunch, Mom went on a rampage. I frantically texted my brother, but he was not answering. Mom’s initial irritation quickly turned to worry. A missing Jake was obviously not something our family took lightly. I tried to reassure her that he was fine, but Mom was pacing the floor by the time Jake’s text finally came in.
“He’s fine,” I announced with a heavy sigh of relief. “Just overslept.”
“How do you know?” she answered in a frazzled-sounding voice.
I showed her his text. Mom’s posture instantly relaxed.
“Thank god. Now that I know he’s safe, I’m going to kill him!”
Jake sat perched on the edge of the bed, rambling on and on about his night with Casey. He was like a kid at Christmas, his face flushed with excitement.
“And you were gone all night, but you didn’t have sex?”
“I told you it wasn’t in her rulebook. It didn’t matter, though. Last night was so hot. She’s just…” Jake didn’t finish his sentence. He was looking off somewhere, a slight smile on his face. He often spaced out during conversations, but normally he was remembering something unpleasant and his lips were curved in a frown. Today was the opposite. The memory filling his head clearly made him happy, and he was relaxed, as if a weight had been lifted off him. I felt that treacherous hope rising up inside me once more.
