by J. Bengtsson
—Kyle
22
Kenzie: Charity Case
‘Keep your dick away from me?’ Oh god, oh Kenzie. Why? At that moment, I wanted to cut my leg on a jagged rock and fling myself, bleeding, into a shark-infested ocean. Somehow that demise seemed easier to deal with than having to face Kyle again. The dumbfounded expression on his dazed face said it all. Despite his incessant flirting, he clearly did not see us as anything more than platonic friends, nor did he have any clue as to the extent of my infatuation with him. Until now, of course. What in the world was I thinking? And why would I do it now, when he’d just revealed he was Jake McKallister’s brother? I mean, talk about shitty timing. I had outdone myself today. It was no wonder I was still single. I had to be one of the stupidest females alive.
After squatting over a patch of ground and cursing the droplets that splashed onto my legs, I used a leaf to wipe away the remnants of pee, although nature’s toilet paper was hardly as efficient as the store-bought variety, and I had to spend an extra minute drip-drying. I took that moment to reflect on my complete and utter embarrassment. My face was burning hot, and I actually felt nauseous. As hard as I tried, my mind could not envision any scenario where this humiliation ended favorably. I pulled up my shorts and paced back and forth. When that didn’t ease my suffering, I hunched over, hands gripping my knees, and tried to control my breathing. I felt close to hyperventilating. Think, Kenzie. How could I hide from my man-crush on a frickin’ reality show? Maybe if I stayed here long enough, Kyle would get bored and go. Yeah, that was a good plan. I’d just wander around the smelly poophole wasting time.
Five minutes must have passed before I heard his voice calling out to me, “Are you coming?”
“Just go back without me,” I yelled back. “I’m going to be awhile.”
“Are you sure? I can wait.”
“No, I’m sure. Go back. I’ll be there soon.”
He didn’t respond right away, and then I heard him say, “Okay.”
I let out a huge sigh of relief and stood in place, formulating a plan in my head. Once I got back to camp, I would pull Carl aside and talk some strategy with him. Kyle wouldn’t dare interrupt a session with Carl, seeing as I was the only one who wasn’t afraid of him. And then what? How could I avoid him? Oh, man, this was bad. Really bad! Why hadn’t I kept my big, love-spewing mouth shut? Not only might I lose my friend, but also my most important ally in this game. Now I understood why it was never good to mix business with pleasure.
It was time to take a step back. Kyle was clearly not interested in me beyond a good laugh. And why would he be? He spent his days in the company of a famous rock star. He was Jake McKallister’s frickin’ brother. I mean, please! Had I known, I never would have gone for him. Suddenly our differences seemed glaringly obvious. It wasn’t just a matter of north versus south, of a small town girl versus a big city boy. No, this was a matter of an ordinary life versus an extraordinary one.
Knowing Kyle’s resistance to going anywhere alone, I gave him ample time to clear out before making my way back through the bushes. Scanning the area where we usually met up, I sighed with relief. He wasn’t there. At least I’d have the walk back to clear my head. At the sound of a rock hitting the ground, I swung my head toward the ruckus and found Kyle propped up against a tree, his long legs crossed at the ankles. He was chewing on a skinny twig.
Kyle flashed me his adorable smile as if nothing was amiss and then, using the tree for support, he stood up. “You all set?”
“I told you not to stay.”
“I know, but I didn’t have anything else to do, so I decided to wait.” Kyle headed off back toward camp. I did have to hand it to the boy-he was nothing if not reliable. When I didn’t immediately follow, he called over his shoulder, “You coming? Don’t you have an etiquette class planned for Carl?”
So that was how he was going to play this? Feign ignorance? Nice, Kyle. Then I realized it might not be the worst strategy. If he was okay ignoring my declaration of love, then it was in my best interest to just follow his lead. Giving in, I jogged up to him. “As a matter of fact, I do.”
“And how’s that going? Are you seeing vast improvements with the ogre?”
“We’re making progress.”
“Honestly, Kenzie, Carl is a lost cause. He hates everyone.”
“No one is a lost cause. Carl is really sweet. You just have to get to know him.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t really have the time.”
“The time? What else do you have to do?” I questioned.
Kyle shrugged. “I’ve got finger painting at noon.”
I couldn’t help but crack a smile. I really wished Kyle weren’t so enjoyable to be around, especially now that I knew where his head was. While I was falling hard, he was standing up straight. Kyle liked me – that much was obvious – but he didn’t like like me. He’d thoroughly friend-zoned me, and after all the time we’d spent together in the last two weeks, if he didn’t see me as anything more than that, chances were he never would. Clearly I didn’t have the physical attributes he was looking for in a girlfriend. No wonder he’d had such a kinship with Aisha. She was the type of girl who probably got special treatment by the security guys at concerts. I’d been in those crowds once myself, desperately trying to stand out in a sea of leggy beauties. I’d watched as the pretty ones got called up and let through, as if they were chosen disciples of the rock gods. I plainly remembered desperately trying to make myself look hot enough to get the nod to go in and meet the singer, all the while instinctively knowing I would be left standing on the sidelines.
I should have realized he was far beyond my wooing capabilities. Lineage aside, guys with his looks and the personality to back it up didn’t go for nice girls with good, sturdy childbearing hips. They wanted sexpots… and, unfortunately, I had long-term baby mama written all over me. Maybe I just needed to give up my dreams of adventure and find myself a nice, boring Bigfoot enthusiast and call it a life.
Frustrated with my current predicament, I wondered why I always dared to dream bigger. Why hadn’t ‘good enough’ ever been good enough for me? I had to wonder if a wedding photograph of my parents that hung on the wall of my home was the reason why. How many hours had I spent staring at that picture? After Mom died, I sometimes even took it off the wall at night and propped it next to my bed. Their smiles and the way their eyes danced as they stared at each other, as if they were in on a joke no one else was… the affection that radiated off their faces… it really was a thing of beauty.
I suppose the reason I never settled was because I knew what love looked like. And I knew the devastation and heartache that came with it. My father’s adoration for my mother was so raw and so deep that the loss of her thoroughly crushed him. That’s when you knew you’d really, truly loved. If I was going to devote my heart and soul to someone, it had better damn well be worth it, because if I was going to lose that person someday, I didn’t want to settle for anything less than complete devastation. If I were lucky enough to have what my parents had, then I would be lucky enough.
To Kyle’s credit, he didn’t discuss my earlier admission, nor did he give me that standard brush off: ‘It’s me, not you.’ In fact, he managed to keep the awkwardness in check, and we fell back into our comfortable banter rather quickly. If he was willing to ignore, who was I to argue?
The others were gathered around the fire, the chill of the morning gradually being replaced by the sweltering heat that would bear down on us for the rest of the day. I plopped down next to Bobby, knowing that Kyle would have to find another spot to sit because, one, there was no more space, and two, he didn’t like the guy. Nobody liked Bobby; but we needed him for just a little bit longer, and then we’d cut him loose. Bobby was a dead man walking.
In recent days he’d taken it upon himself to woo me, presumably because he assumed that with my being female, I wouldn’t be able to resist his chiseled good looks. I had rebuffed his obvious ploys at persu
asion on multiple occasions, although I had to admit that being pursued by a hot guy, no matter how nefarious his intentions, was an ego booster, especially after Kyle had only very recently crushed my fragile self-esteem into a million pieces. And now, when I knew Kyle wasn’t interested in more than just being a buddy, what would it hurt to do a little flirting with a smoking hot guy like Bobby?
“Kenzie,” he greeted, dipping his head in a sexy way.
“Bobby,” I answered back, mimicking his gesture.
“You were gone a while.”
“Did you miss me?” I flirted.
“As a matter of fact, I did,” he said, flashing me his hottest leading man smile.
“Kenzie had a bad stomach,” Kyle blurted out.
My mouth dropped open in shock as I shot daggers in Kyle’s direction. His annoyed expression confused me. Why would he care if I did a little innocent bantering with Bobby? “I did not have a bad stomach.”
“Then what took you so long?” he challenged.
I just glared at him, unable to come up with any plausible excuse that didn’t include hanging out my dirty laundry for all to see.
Bobby looked back and forth between us, a smile forming upon his face. Obviously he was smart enough to see a crack in our alliance, and by the expression on his face, he was savvy enough to try to exploit it.
“You want to go swimming with me?” he asked, nudging himself up against me.
Ripping my angry eyes off Kyle, I turned to address Bobby. “I would love to.”
Bobby stood up immediately and offered me his hand. Kyle’s irritated expression didn’t escape me, but it also didn’t sway me. I was not about to continue wasting my time pining over some guy I’d never had a shot at in the first place. Of course, I guess I could say the same thing about Bobby. He was so clearly not interested in me. Seduction was a last ditch effort on his part to stay in the game. But what did I care what his motivations were? He was hot, and I was pissed.
I grabbed Bobby’s hand, stood up, and allowed him to lead me to the water’s edge. Once there, my smoking hot companion stripped down to his boxer trunks, leaving very little to the imagination. Still, I managed to find the inspiration to continue undressing him in my mind. Bobby was eye candy. Of course, that fact hadn’t escaped me before, but because I’d been so focused on Kyle and his dorky sexiness, I hadn’t really given the bad boy a second glance. But now? Ooh-la-la. Kyle who? Bobby was my new Man-crush Monday. Or was it Tuesday? I actually had no idea what day of the week it was. I shook my head. I was getting distracted. Focus, Kenzie. Hot guy, straight ahead. My eyes flicked over him in admiration, thinking of all the wonderful daydreams I could have him star in instead of that doofus up at camp, but then, like a bad movie… Bobby opened his mouth.
“You like what you see?” he asked seductively, and he actually ran his hands over his torso in a male-stripper move. I seriously wanted to barf.
So surprised was I by his vain comment and action that I couldn’t come up with anything to say, other than to grunt, “Huh?”
“I know you want it,” he grinned, just before diving into the gentle waves. As he reappeared, Bobby shook the water out of his hair. I felt like I was watching a shampoo commercial. I fought back a giggle. “Come and get it.”
Seriously? Did that really work on women? There was no way to continue to hold it back, and I laughed. I remained firmly planted on land. “No, thank you.”
“What?” he asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.
“I’ll pass, but thanks anyway.”
Bobby’s expression changed. He stared at me in contempt for a moment before saying, “Whatever. I was just being charitable.”
“Ahh. How sweet of you, a ‘ten’ giving back to the less fortunate.”
His eyes rolled over me playfully. “What can I say, I’m a generous guy. But rest assured, I’m no saint. I have a reputation to uphold. I’d never dip down lower than a six.”
Instantly a nervous flutter invaded my insides. I didn’t want to know what number he’d ranked me.
“Stop giving me that constipated look, Kenzie. You’re a solid seven, and I’m not just saying that to be nice.”
“Wow, thanks, Bobby. I didn’t take it that way,” I replied, amused by his flawed attempts at flattery and relieved I wasn’t ranked lower. I mean, wasn’t a seven like a B-?
“You’d probably rank even higher, like a 7.5, if you had a shower, wore some makeup, and shaved your underarms and, you know…” His eyes diverted to my bikini region. “The crotch spiders.”
My mouth dropped open. Irritation swept through me. Again, was it my fault the local salon didn’t offer the Brazilian wax? No, I didn’t think so. The nerve of this guy!
“What?” he scoffed. “Oh, please, you aren’t one of those feminists, are you?”
I actually laughed at his piling on of insensitive comments. He was just digging himself deeper and deeper. “Honestly, Bobby, I think you’d be hard pressed to find any girl not offended by that comment, feminist or not.”
“Look, all I’m saying is, on this reality show, seven is a really good number. Even Aisha only ranked an eight.”
I gaped at him. Really? Aisha? Just an eight? Instantly I felt a whole lot better about his chauvinistic ranking system.
“Come on, the water feels great. I promise I won’t be a douche.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I called out to him.
He stared me down, a half-smile on his face. “I don’t beg, Kenzie. Ever! Do whatever you want.” And with that, Bobby swam further out. I stood there. Welp, there went that man crush. Even incredible hotness couldn’t make up for a reptilian personality disorder. Still, I was miserably hot standing in the direct, pounding sun, and according to Bobby, I desperately needed an ocean bath, so I shrugged and jumped in after him. Unlike with Kyle, at least I knew where I stood with Bobby. I was a charity case… a stinky, hairy seven.
TV Confessional
“I would rate Bobby a ‘ten’ for looks and a ‘two’ for tact.”
—Kenzie
23
Kyle: Truth Be Told
I watched Kenzie take off with Bobby and was surprised at how much it bothered me. I knew what he was doing – using her to get further in the game – and it pissed me off that Kenzie would fall for his antics. She was smarter than that. Of course, it was possible that she was doing this just to get back at me. I still didn’t really get why she was pissed at me. I wasn’t the one who’d changed our relationship out of the blue. How was I to know she liked me? Contrary to what I’d told Sarah back at the wedding, I was most definitely not a mind reader.
Dale stood up, grabbed the water buckets, and said, “Let’s get some water.”
“I don’t really want to,” I grumbled, glancing back out at the water.
“Yeah, you do. Let’s go.”
I caught Dale’s eye. He wasn’t giving me a choice. His hand was out, ready to hand me one of the buckets. I got up, grabbed it, and followed him out of camp.
“Is something going on with you and Kenzie?”
“No, why?” I lied.
Dale flashed me a knowing look. Sometimes he reminded me of one of those TV dads, whose disapproving looks seemed scripted. Still, Dale had a way of pulling out my honesty.
“It’s just awkward. She basically told me she liked me. Totally out of the blue. I mean, what am I supposed to say to that? We’re on a fucking reality show.”
“I’m not surprised,” Dale said.
“That she likes me?” I asked. Was I the only one who hadn’t gotten the memo?
Dale looked up at me hesitantly before saying, “You flirt with her a lot, Kyle. What’s she supposed to think?”
I was annoyed by Dale’s assessment. “I flirt like that with all girls.”
“Yeah, well, Kenzie’s not all girls. She’s sheltered. She lives in a town with a population of 1,500 people. Chances are she’s never met anyone like you. I mean, honestly, Kyle, you take flirt
ing to a whole new level. Hell, sometimes I think you’re hitting on me too.”
“I am, Dale. You know I love you,” I said, grabbing for him and trying to kiss his cheek. Dale wormed away from me, laughing.
“I’m serious. You need to lay off all the sexy-time talk with her.”
“Who says sexy-time? Jesus, Dale, remember that we’re trying to make you cool. Besides, I’m just being friendly.” Even though I was joking around and trying to portray myself as indifferent, a sudden uneasiness hit my core. Was I really leading her on?
Dale flashed me another one of his canned expressions. “Yesterday she was headed to the beach and asked if you were coming, and you said, ‘Not quite, but I’m getting close.’”
I laughed. “That was funny.”
“And all your food sex references?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I countered.
“The two of you had a sexually charged, twenty-minute discussion about ripe fruit yesterday, and I swear Bobby went off to masturbate.”
“Hey, that was a serious conversation. I was genuinely curious about kumquats.”
“Look, I know you’re just being you, and it’s hysterical. I mean, you crack me up. And obviously Kenzie loves it too, but it’s not hard to see why she might think you’re hitting on her. That’s all I’m saying.”
“So what do you suggest I do – not talk to her at all?” I answered, irrationally.
“Surely you can communicate with women without inserting sexually graphic remarks. I mean, how do you talk to your grandma?”
“We don’t talk about kumquats, that’s for sure.”
Dale laughed.
I inhaled, anxious energy coursing through me. I had a bad feeling that I had just screwed things up badly. “Shit. I messed up, didn’t I?”
“That all depends.”
“On what?”
“If you like her or not… because if you do, you’ve got the girl. Good for you. If you don’t, you’ve led her on, and you’ve got some explaining to do.”
