Becca didn’t waste any time. She got up, grabbed her purse off the coffee table, and hugged me. “Call me later.” She ambled up to Kade. “It’s great to see you.” She tossed a worried look over her shoulder before she walked out.
When the front door clicked shut, my heart stopped. Kade hadn’t moved. I tried to get my legs off the couch, but I didn’t think blood was pumping through me.
Finally, Kade took in a deep breath and made his way over to me. He eased down into Becca’s spot. “I need to tell you something.” He puffed out his cheeks.
My stomach knotted. “Did something happen to your mom?” His mom had had angina, and maybe the ailment had progressed.
He scooted closer to me. His big body suddenly made me feel claustrophobic. His hand found mine. “It’s not my mom. It’s me. I have a brain tumor.”
Blackness swept into the sides of my vision as I clutched my chest. “I’m not sure I heard you.”
A tear ran down his face. “It’s a meningioma. The doc says they’re normally benign. My mass is at a good size where he’s concerned. So he wants to operate.”
My pulse pounded in my ears. The blackness started taking over my vision. I knew a panic attack was imminent, but I couldn’t let it happen. Kade needed me. For so long, he’d been there for me when I blacked out or had nightmares. He was the one who had always worried about me. I did worry about him, but not as much. After all, he was the protector, my protector. He was the one who took care of me. He was the one who took care of his brothers and his family.
Oh my God. I’d been such an idiot. He had traveled to Oklahoma because he’d known he had a tumor. That was the reason he’d appeared as though something bad had happened. I should have been angry he hadn’t told me then, but the shock in my body was overpowering all my emotions. Besides, arguing wouldn’t change the fact that he had a tumor.
“That’s why you came to visit me. Isn’t it?”
“Come here.” He grabbed my hand and nudged me to sit on his lap.
So I straddled him then slumped my shoulders before I allowed the tears to flow.
He kissed my hand. “I didn’t know. But the doc suspected that my scans wouldn’t come back clean.”
All of this was making sense. He was pale when he’d shown up at my college dorm. He staggered that day when he’d gotten out of bed. He’d been rubbing his temples more frequently. I attributed all that to his migraines.
“So it wasn’t just headaches you were having?”
“The dizziness was getting more intense, and I’ve had other symptoms like weakness in my right arm.”
So I wouldn’t pass out from the onset of a panic attack, I leaned in and kissed him. At first, my lips brushed over his until he became a crazy man as if he were never going to get the chance to kiss me again.
I pulled away and started bawling. “You can’t leave me.”
He tugged me to him, rubbing my back. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I can’t. We have a life to build. We have a family to start. We have to grow old together.”
He only made me cry harder.
“Make love to me,” he whispered.
I couldn’t deny his request. I didn’t want to, either. He was the love of my life, and I needed him more than ever. Yet as we shed our clothes, I couldn’t help but think that this could be our last time together.
When we were naked and he was on top of me, he said, “ No matter what happens, I want you to play baseball.” He nibbled lightly on my chin. “I know I’ve been a little pushy on starting a family, but we only get one chance at life, and we should live it.”
I snaked my hands around his waist. “You’re right. But we do things together. Baseball isn’t the end-all.”
“I want you to live your dream, Lacey Robinson.”
“You are my dream, Kade Maxwell, and I will not leave your side.”
He entered me slowly and steadily, and as soon as he was all the way in and our bodies were moving in sync, I let the tears flow as I memorized every part of him.
Chapter 12
Kade
I made love to the one woman I wanted forever with. She moaned and cried and moaned and cried, but each time she whimpered, my chest tightened.
I stopped moving and gently dragged my hand down her warm, wet cheek, staring into her eyes. So much sadness lived in her cloudy green irises that I almost started bawling. I locked my jaw tight. I’d done enough crying before I’d gotten there. I had to be strong. I had to think positive thoughts. Besides, the stats were in my favor, or at least I had to believe they were.
She flattened her palms on my jaw. “We’ll get through this.” Her voice wasn’t that convincing.
I got up and dressed. As much as I wanted our intimate prelude to continue, I couldn’t bear to see the despair written all over her pretty face no matter how much I wanted to feel every part of her. And some part of me said that this wasn’t the last time I would make love to her. This wasn’t it for me.
I buckled my belt as she sat naked with her hair messy, looking like a fucking angel. Nope, I couldn’t leave this earth or her. I wouldn’t.
She rose and snaked her arms around my waist. “I will be strong for you, for us.”
A noise in the kitchen made me flinch. Then I realized her old man could be home. I checked behind me.
She sniffled. “My dad isn’t home.” Then she began to dress.
I lowered myself to the edge of the couch, threw my head in my hands, and sighed.
She pressed a hand to my back. “Let’s go to Vegas and elope.”
I jolted up. “Seriously?”
She blinked away tears as she gleaned the wedding magazines. “It’s too overwhelming to plan a wedding. We can get married now, and when things settle, we can have a party.”
“But what about baseball?”
She buttoned her jeans. “Baseball has consumed me. It’s time to let loose and build that family you want.”
I raked my gaze over her, my eyes landing on her stomach as a bolt of hope zapped me. “Isn’t today the day you’re supposed to get your period?”
She gathered her long hair and twisted it up on her head. “Let’s not worry about that. I just want to get married.”
I couldn’t help but wonder if she wanted to rush to get married because of my news. I would like to say it didn’t matter. After all, I’d wanted to jet off to Las Vegas only a few days ago. But I got the feeling I was somehow forcing her hand to tie the knot sooner than she wanted.
“Did the Dodgers not sign you?” When I’d left her in Oklahoma, they still hadn’t given her an answer.
She sat on the coffee table in front of me. Then she slid her hands up my thighs. “Whether they do or not, my life is about us, not baseball.”
Her words were music to my ears, but I couldn’t help but remember the conversation we’d had right before I’d proposed.
I grasped her hands as though she were my lifeline. Hell, she was. But I needed her to be happy. I needed her to want marriage as much as she wanted baseball, and even though her words said her life was not about baseball, I wasn’t sure I fully believed her.
I brought one of her hands up to my lips. “Baby, you can have kids, marriage, baseball, all of it. I don’t want you to have to settle on one thing. Any baseball organization who respects your talent will work with you when you get pregnant.”
One side of her mouth turned upward. “I know.”
“We probably shouldn’t run off to Vegas, either. My mom would be devastated if she didn’t see us get married.” She’d been so excited when I told her that morning that I’d proposed to Lacey.
She gave me a slight nod as my phone buzzed. I fished it from my jeans pocket and opened the screen to find a text from my dad. Son, I need you to come home. I’ve called a family meeting. Bring Lacey.
I showed her the text. She hopped up and found her shoes.
“You’ll have to drive,” I said. “My dad dropped me off.”
Within minute
s we were out the door.
All the way to my parents’ house, we held hands as she kept her other one on the steering wheel.
When we finally parked in the driveway and got out into the late-afternoon sunshine, she said, “I had a weird feeling in the cemetery in LA. Now I know why.”
I draped my arm around her as we walked into the house. “I believe you have a sixth sense.”
“Maybe I’m psychic,” she cooed with a little happiness in her voice.
I chuckled for the first time in days. The feeling felt as if someone had taken a suction hose and sucked out all the bad mojo inside me. Maybe that was a sign that I fell in that ninety percentile. Still, things could go wrong during the operation, and with that realization, I tensed as we entered the house and then the dining room. I became even more anxious when I laid eyes on Kelton, Kross, Kody, and Mom.
Oh, fuck!
I had to break the news to my mother. If anyone wouldn’t survive the news of my tumor, it would be my mom. I regarded my dad, who had his chin up and shook his head once at me as though he knew what I was thinking. From my mom’s calm expression, I knew my dad hadn’t told her a thing.
I wondered for a minute where Kross’s wife, Ruby, my niece Raven, and Kelton’s girl, Lizzie, were. But I quickly shucked that thought. I was certain Kross and Kelton had rushed over from Boston as soon as my father had called. Kody lived in town, so his trek was minimal, and I would bet his girl, Jessie, was working.
Kelton scanned me then Lacey. “You two look like shit.”
No one else said a word. Anytime my dad called a family meeting, we knew it was something big.
My mom’s blue eyes widened as fear overpowered that calmness she’d had a moment ago.
Lacey squeezed my hand. “It’s going to be fine.”
“Wait,” Kody said, his attention on Lacey’s left hand. “Bro, you’ve finally proposed?”
A loud squeak came out of my mom, and all that fear vanished in an instant. “Martin, is that why you called the boys to come home?”
The fright on my dad’s face said otherwise, but no one noticed as Mom and my brothers crowded Lacey and me with kisses, hugs, and congratulations.
“You know, Dad,” Kelton said, “the news of Lacey and Kade’s engagement wasn’t enough to get Kross and me to speed down the highway and drop everything we were doing.”
“Yeah, Dad,” Kross chimed in. “What’s really going on?”
I didn’t blame my brothers for questioning my dad. I would’ve too.
My mom, who had her arm around Lacey, lost her smile.
Fuck me.
“Everyone,” I said, “let’s sit.”
My mom went back to her chair next to my dad. “Martin.” Her light voice took on a high-pitched sound.
Lacey tugged me to a chair at the head of the table, opposite my dad. My brothers filled the three chairs on my right. Lacey found the empty one on my left next to me.
Once everyone was settled, I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.
Lacey intertwined her fingers with mine in my lap.
I pushed out all the air in my lungs. “Well, there is no easy way to say this.”
Dad held up his hand. “Kade, wait. I’m the patriarch of this family. I’ll start.” Dad considered my mom. “I called this family meeting because what I have to say can’t be said on the phone.” He then acknowledged my brothers. “First, I want to say I’m sorry that Kade and I haven’t said anything up until now. But we had to be certain before we could share the news.”
“Honey,” Mom said in a frail voice. “Just come out and say it.”
It was my turn to hold up my hand. Dad had taken on too much of the burden in times like these. Not to mention, he seemed to be struggling, which was not his MO. As strong as he was, he always seemed to hide his feelings to ensure that our family saw his confidence.
“Over the last month or so, I’ve been having some symptoms that I thought were just part of migraines.” I watched my mom, who was riveted on me. “This morning I had an MRI and CT Scan on the advice of Dr. Thompson. It turns out that I have what they call a meningioma, which is a mass here.” I touched the right side of my head, above my temple. “Ninety percent of the time, they’re benign.” I didn’t want to scare my mom any further, seeing the fright on her face.
Nevertheless, a sharp intake of air came from my mom.
“Fuck,” came out of Kelton’s mouth.
“Martin,” Mom said. “Is this true?” She knew my dad didn’t call a meeting for nothing. She also knew my dad wouldn’t subject her to news like this unless it was true.
Dad reached out to grasp my mom’s hand. “I’m sorry, honey. Kade does have a mass. It’s probably nothing to worry about. This type of tumor grows on the surface of the brain rather than within the brain. Hence, why they’re mostly benign.”
Tears welled up in Mom’s eyes. “It’s that ten percent that scares me.”
I went over and sat in the empty chair next to her. “Mom, I’ll be fine. I have a great doctor, and nothing is going to happen to me.” Even though something could happen during surgery, I still had to instill the belief that I would be okay, maybe more for myself than anybody else.
Jumping on my bandwagon, Kody chimed in. “He will. I feel it in my gut.”
I jerked my head toward Kody. He was the brother who had brooded and mourned for years over the death of our sister then his high school sweetheart. He’d been the one to run and hide at bad news. He was the brother who would immediately jump to the worst-case scenario. He was the brother who always believed that bad luck followed us. As of late though, he’d been a changed man, thanks in part to his steady girl, Jessie.
Kody rolled his shoulders forward. “What? I do.”
Lacey giggled. Her laugh was contagious as everyone but Mom laughed and agreed with Kody.
“He’s right,” Lacey said, her voice soothing my frayed nerves. “Kade isn’t going anywhere. He has to marry me first, and we have to make lots of babies.”
Again, laughter filled the room, except Mom still wasn’t convinced with tears in her dark-blue eyes.
My dad got up and kissed Mom on her head. “Honey, we’re not losing another child. Kade is strong, and with the power of family, we’ll get through this.” My dad delivered those lines as if he were leading an army into battle.
“You promise?” Mom asked. “Because I wouldn’t survive another death in the family.”
All of us knew that very thing, and somehow a calm feeling washed over me. It wasn’t my time. My mass was a hiccup in the road, and deep down, I felt that it would bring us closer together as a family.
Dad gently pulled Mom to her feet then wrapped his arms around her. “I promise.”
As a doctor, my dad would never promise. As a husband, he would do anything to safeguard my mom’s emotional state. I couldn’t blame him. I was my father’s son. I would do that in a heartbeat if it meant that Lacey would relax, although I knew my dad’s words wouldn’t ease my mom’s worry.
She backed out of Dad’s arms and gave all of us a tentative smile.
Then I hugged her. “You will not lose a son.”
I had to believe my own words.
Chapter 13
Lacey
Kade was sitting up in a hospital bed with a smile on his face. The man was getting ready to have his brain worked on, and he was grinning. I, on the other hand, had a mild case of nausea. I’d been so freaking nervous the last five days. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. And I couldn’t even think straight.
I frowned. “Why are you so chipper?” His mood was a stark contrast to the night before when he’d tossed and turned along with me. Or maybe he hadn’t slept because I’d woken up in a pool of sweat from a nightmare I couldn’t remember.
With the passing of my grandfather, I shouldn’t have been having nightmares. Your fiancé has a brain tumor. It’s natural to freak out. Regardless, Kade had been taking care of me since he met me in high school.
It was my turn to show him I could be strong for him.
I feigned a smile as I stood by the side of his bed.
You’re failing miserably.
Kade grabbed my hand that was picking at the blanket covering him. “I know you’re nervous. You know what’s helping me take my mind off the operation? I keep thinking about our wedding and maybe that I might be a dad.” He prodded me by raising his eyebrows.
Standing on the other side of Kade’s bed, Mrs. Maxwell jerked her head at me, parting her red lips. At eight in the morning, the woman looked as if she’d just stepped out of a clothing shoot. Her black hair was twisted into a perfect bun on the top of her head. Light makeup colored her porcelain skin, and she wore a crisp cotton button-up shirt over a pair of black slacks.
I’d barely gotten dressed that morning. I was wearing jeans that hadn’t been washed in a week. I’d grabbed the first pair I got my hands on in my closet, and I had on one of Kade’s T-shirts. If I couldn’t be with him, I wanted to at least feel as though I were. Plus, his shirt smelled like him, which was keeping me somewhat calm.
Mrs. Maxwell checked on her husband, who was standing near the door, typing on his phone, oblivious to our conversation. Then again, Kade’s voice hadn’t been that loud.
Still, I was five days late, and while I was experiencing a mild case of nausea, I didn’t believe it had anything to do with a pregnancy. I highly suspected I was late because of the anxiety from everything going on—the stress of baseball, my grandfather, and now Kade’s operation. I was ninety-nine percent sure I wasn’t carrying his child.
Mrs. Maxwell brought her dainty hands to her lips in prayer formation. I would bet she was praying that I was carrying their third grandchild. Kross’s wife Ruby was due with their second child in a couple of months. They’d announced the good news at Christmas.
She flashed her big blues at me. “Lacey, are you?” Her tone bordered on excitement of huge proportions.
I sucked in my lips, shaking my head. “I’m on the pill. So I don’t think so.”
Dare to Breathe Page 9
