I nodded. Every time we were together, it felt like Vincent was saying things to me without the use of words, but I couldn’t be sure.
I let my eyes drift to the scenery around us. It really was a gorgeous view, and although there were a few puffy white clouds in the sky, I didn’t see even a hint of the rain that Seattle was famous for.
“Brody, you have to believe me that I didn’t really know until I met him. I mean, maybe deep down I did, but I got so good at denying it that I was just able to pass it off as being related to stress.”
“You mean being gay?”
I nodded. “And my problems with women. I just never…I never associated one with the other. I mean, when we were kids, I was so certain that some of the thoughts I had were the devil trying to get inside of me. If I thought some guy was good-looking, it wasn’t really me…it was the sin of the devil trying to lure me away from the side of the righteous.”
Even now, saying the things that had been drilled to us in sermon after sermon made me want to throw up. The fact that I’d actually believed them…that I’d thrown my brother aside in favor of believing the lies I’d been fed since birth…
“I’m so sorry, Brody,” I said with a shake of my head. “I wanted to protect you and that night when you told me that, I thought the devil was trying to steal your soul and-”
I fisted my hair in the hopes the pain would keep me from throwing up all over the place as my cruel words rang in my ears.
“I know, Nathan,” Brody said, and I felt his hand close over one of mine. He gently pried my fingers free of the death grip I had on my hair. “Believe me, I thought the same thing about myself. I didn’t want it to be true.”
“I should have talked to you…I should have listened instead of going to Dad.”
Brody’s fingers squeezed mine hard. “Nathan, please look at me.”
When I did, he said, “I know why you did it. You always did your best to protect me, and that’s what you thought you were doing that night.”
I dashed at the tears that threatened to fall. “I wish I could go back to that moment. I wish I could do it differently…there are so many things I wish I could have done differently.”
“Me too,” Brody murmured. “But I ended up where I was supposed to, Nathan. Just like I think you did, too. I don’t…I don’t want to live in the past. I don’t want to wonder how things could have been different, because every outcome I can think of would mean I never would have met Quinn or Beck. And the idea of not having them in my life…”
“I know,” I said quickly when Brody’s voice caught and he dropped his eyes. I forced his chin up. “I’m so happy for you. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better life for you.”
Brody smiled and nodded. “Nathan, I hope all this means you’re back in my life for good.”
“It does,” I said with a nod. “If you want that.”
Brody’s fingers closed around mine. “More than anything.”
I felt something inside of me ease at his words. I hadn’t been sure that was something he wanted, but knowing he did…it put me on cloud nine.
“I’m okay with us revisiting the past if and when we need to,” Brody murmured. “But today, I want to talk about the present…and the future.”
“I’d like that,” I said as I wiped a stray tear from my eye. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I glanced at the arm that was in the sling. “I really thought he’d leave you alone if I stayed away.”
Brody gently opened my hand to reveal the line of stitches. “Did he do this?” he asked, his voice uneven.
I nodded. As much as I didn’t want to tell him about the attack, I knew I had to. He deserved my honesty, even if it was something that would be hard for him to hear.
He held my hand as I recounted the night of the attack. I heard him choke back tears at times, but he remained quiet. When I was finished and he still didn’t speak, I gently gripped his fingers and said, “I’m safe, Brody. Vincent won’t let anything happen to me.”
Brody nodded and wiped at his eyes. “Promise me you won’t go back there until this is resolved,” he said. I figured he was talking about my house, since that was where I’d been attacked.
“Promise,” I agreed.
“You said it was Beck’s father and uncle that asked Ronan to find someone to watch out for you.”
I nodded.
Brody chuckled. “Bastard’s been torturing me and Quinn for weeks.”
“What?”
Brody shook his head. “Cade. You know, playing the overprotective dad role. Making me and Quinn sleep in a different bedroom when we come for a visit. Sending us threatening looks and having some of the guys at family dinner give us subtle warnings.”
I must have looked startled because Brody quickly said, “It’s all in fun, Nathan. I think it’s some kind of family ritual with these guys…razz the newest members.”
The concept was both odd and comforting at the same time. Our own family had always been so serious that I couldn’t even imagine the banter Brody was talking about. But to know he’d been accepted into a family so different from our own…
“So things are good for you,” I clarified. “Here?” I asked as I looked around the big house.
“It’s an amazing family, Nathan. We’re not even the only guys in a threesome. Beck’s uncle and his husbands have been together for ten years now. They’ve got two daughters. And Beck’s cousin, Tristan, is in a relationship with two other men. So not only do we fit in, we don’t even stand out.”
I chuckled at that. “Well, I’m glad you’ve got a future father-in-law who’s looking out for you.”
“It could be the same for you, Nathan. Even if things don’t work out between you and Vincent, there’s still a place for you…with us. In Dare.”
My throat felt too thick to speak, so I nodded. Even though I knew I was going to lose Vincent at some point, hearing Brody actually say it somehow made it hurt even worse.
“Everything’s so fucked up right now, Brody,” I admitted. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
That wasn’t quite true. I did know one thing I wanted, but it was the one thing I couldn’t have.
“You’re not locked into anything, Nathan. There’s still time to make changes.”
I knew what he was talking about. Of all the people in my life, he was probably one of the few who suspected the profession I’d chosen to pursue wasn’t a choice I’d made with my heart, but rather with my head.
“Fuck, Nathan,” Brody whispered as he suddenly stood up and wrapped his free arm around me. He bent over me and pressed a kiss to my head. “I hate what this is doing to you.”
“Sorry,” I said softly, even as I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my head against his stomach. “You can feel it, can’t you?” I asked, since I couldn’t fathom that he’d picked up on my distress just from my words alone. He had to be picking up on my emotions through the bond that came with being twins.
“Yeah, I can. And I promise, we’ll figure it out. Okay?”
“Nathan?”
Vincent’s worried voice had me pulling away from Brody and climbing to my feet. He was walking towards us, his concern clear as day.
“I’ll give you two a second,” Brody said as he took a few steps away from us.
“You okay?” Vincent asked when he reached me.
I nodded. “Yeah, just…memories, you know?” I murmured.
“Yeah,” he replied before he pulled me into his arms for a quick hug. “Ronan called.”
I pulled back. “Is it Reese? Is he okay?”
“He’s awake. He’s lost feeling from the waist down, but his doctors are hopeful that the paralysis they’re seeing is temporary.”
I managed a nod, even though I felt sick to my stomach.
“Listen, Ronan was also calling me to tell me his guys caught the shooter.”
“What?” I asked, not sure I’d heard him right. They’d gotten the guy who’d attacked me? It was over?<
br />
“One of the shots Reese fired at the guy hit him, and he eventually passed out from the blood loss and crashed his car into a ditch just outside Dare. Ronan’s guys found him before anyone else could, and they’ve moved him to a secure location. I’m flying out there to question him myself. I want to find out if he was a lone wolf or if he was working for someone. I need you to stay here, okay?”
“Okay,” I said as my head spun with all the information he was throwing at me.
“Don’t leave the property, do you understand me?”
“I won’t, I promise.”
Vincent brushed his mouth over mine. “I’ll call you when I land.”
I nodded and kissed him again. “Be careful.”
“I will.” One more kiss, and then he was gone.
I sank back down on the chair I’d been sitting in. I wasn’t surprised when I felt Brody’s hand on my shoulder. I reached up to grab it, grateful he was there.
It was a lot more than I deserved.
But I’d definitely take it.
Chapter 28
Vincent
It was early afternoon by the time I arrived in Missoula. As eager as I was to question the man who’d tried to kill Nathan and who’d hurt Brody and Reese, I needed to check on Everett first. I hadn’t been completely honest when I’d given Nathan an update on Reese’s condition. I’d heard the despair in Everett’s voice, and while I knew he had some support in the form of Agent Nash and Ronan, I knew it wasn’t enough.
The hospital was quiet and the man who’d picked me up from the airport – another of Ronan’s men – led me past the information desk and straight to the third floor. I’d expected him to take me to Reese’s room, but instead, he showed me to what looked like a small conference room. Nash was standing stiffly outside the door.
Ronan’s man bid me farewell, leaving me and Nash alone.
“What’s going on?” I asked. “Is Everett in there?”
Nash nodded. “He is.”
I glanced around us. “Why isn’t he in Reese’s room?” Panic flared in my belly. “Did something-”
“No,” Nash quickly interrupted. He dropped his voice. “His son asked him to leave.”
“What?” I asked, not sure I’d heard him correctly.
“When Reese woke up and saw him…” Nash hesitated and dropped his eyes. “It wasn’t pretty.”
Anger simmered through me. “Thanks,” I said to Nash as I opened the door. Everett looked up at me from where he and Ronan were in deep conversation. My steps faltered as I took in Everett’s disheveled appearance. His rumpled clothes were the same ones he’d been wearing yesterday and his hair was all over the place, like he’d been running his fingers through it over and over. His eyes were swollen and red, proof he’d been crying.
I walked over to him and instead of sitting down next to him, I crouched in front of him. I put my hand on his arm. “Talk to me,” I murmured.
The only time I’d ever seen Everett like this had been the few times he’d gotten drunk and allowed himself to truly mourn the loss of my brother. He’d always hidden his grief behind closed doors otherwise.
“They…they aren’t sure if he’ll be able to walk again,” Everett whispered, his voice hoarse.
“He’s strong, Ev. Look at everything he’s been through. Gets that from his father,” I said softly.
Everett nodded and wiped at his eyes.
“What about his other injuries?” I asked. “The burns.”
“They’re mostly on his chest and arms,” Ronan said. “He’ll need skin grafts. It’s going to be a long recovery process.”
My stomach rolled violently, but I managed to quell the urge to vomit. “He’s going to make it, Everett. You’re going to get him home and take care of him.”
Everett began shaking his head. “He won’t let me see him, Vincent. He’s…he’s so angry.”
Frustration went through me as I climbed to my feet. I was heading for the door before I even realized what I was doing.
“Vincent, don’t!” Everett called.
But I ignored him as I left the room. I had one goal in mind.
“What room is he in?” I asked Nash, my voice cold.
“315.”
It took less than a minute to find the room. The curtains on the glass walls were drawn, so I couldn’t see inside. I took a deep breath to calm myself before opening the door. I stilled at the sight of the young man in the bed. His upper body and arms were wrapped in layers and layers of white bandaging. There was another bandage around his forehead. His face was turned away from me at first, but when I stepped farther into the room, he slowly turned to look my way.
“Can I help you?” I heard someone off to my right say.
I glanced at the man I hadn’t noticed at first. I guessed him to be in his early forties or so, with a head of thick, gray hair. He was heavily built. In his hand, he had a cup of water with a straw sticking out of it. He put the pitcher in his other hand down and approached the bed.
“Vincent!” I heard Everett call, though his voice was low. A second later, he was pushing into the room.
Just like that, Reese’s eyes went from pain-filled and tired to sharp and pissed-off.
“Get out,” he said, his cold eyes on his father. “I told you I didn’t want to see you.”
The young man shifted in the bed and immediately stifled a cry of pain. The older man put his hand on Reese’s bandaged shoulder. “Stay still,” he said softly.
“I’m…I’m sorry,” Everett stammered, his voice shaky and uneven. Watching my best friend, one of the most confident, powerful men I’d ever met, transform into an insecure, uncertain man practically before my eyes reminded me why I’d come here.
“Reese, I know you’re hurting-”
“Vincent,” Everett said, but I ignored him.
“Vincent,” Reese repeated. His mouth pulled into a tight frown. “I know you,” he said. “You’re his brother.” His eyes shifted back to his father. “You fucking him now?”
Everett let out a little gasp, and I was striding forward before I even realized what I was doing.
“Don’t,” the man with the gray hair said as he stepped into my path. He was my size and probably had a few extra pounds of muscle on me, but I didn’t care. But it was the calmness in his voice that had me stopping my forward movement.
“He’s in pain,” he said softly. “And he’s scared to death,” he said so quietly that I was likely the only one who’d heard him.
I managed a nod because I knew he was right. My instinct to protect Everett had overridden my common sense. I stepped back and let my eyes settle on Reese. “I’m sorry,” I said. “Thank you for what you did for Brody. It took guts, and because of you, we caught the guy.”
Reese seemed caught off guard by my words. He hesitated for the briefest of moments and then gave me a slight nod. “Please leave,” he said after a moment, before turning his face towards the window again. “All of you.”
The gray-haired man followed us from the room and slid the door closed behind him.
“Gage, this is Vincent St. James,” Ronan said as he motioned to me. The gray-haired man, Gage, shook my hand.
“Thanks for that,” I said as I jerked my chin towards the room.
He nodded. “I’ve partnered with Reese a few times now, so I’m starting to figure out what makes him tick.”
“And this is Everett Shaw,” Ronan said to Gage.
Gage turned his attention to Everett. “Mr. President,” he said quietly as he extended his hand. “I’m sorry, I know how difficult this must be for you. But your son is one of the strongest men I know. He’ll beat this.”
Everett nodded and shook the man’s hand. I noticed that Gage didn’t release Everett’s hand until the older man looked up at him and their eyes connected for several long beats. Only then did he let go of Everett’s hand.
“Gage is going to take you to question the suspect,” Ronan said. “We’re holding him in a ware
house on the outskirts of the city,” he said in a low voice.
I nodded and then looked at Everett. “You going to be okay?”
It took a moment for Everett to respond. He looked dead on his feet. “Fine,” he mumbled.
“Ev, you need to go get some rest. Let Nash take you to a hotel,” I suggested as I glanced at the Secret Service agent whose watchful eyes shifted between our surroundings and Everett.
“Can’t,” Everett said tiredly. “My boy might need me.”
My heart broke for my friend, but before I could say anything, Gage said, “Mr. President, you won’t do Reese any good if you make yourself sick. He may not act like it, but he’s going to need you, sir. He’s going to need you to be strong for him when he can’t.”
Everett was quiet for a moment before he finally nodded. “Okay,” he murmured. “Maybe for a few minutes.”
Ronan nodded to Nash who immediately came up and put his hand at Everett’s elbow, as if to steady him. The agent’s gaze connected with Gage, and I swore I saw a flash of something between them.
Everett allowed Nash to lead him away, but he stopped long enough to say to Gage, “Thank you, Gage. Call me Everett.”
“You’re welcome…Everett,” the other man said with a nod.
Once Everett and Nash were out of sight, Gage turned to me, his expression hardening. “You ready to go?” he asked. “Been waiting all morning to get my hands on the fucker.”
A man after my own heart.
“Lead the way,” I said with a smirk. I cast Ronan a nod over my shoulder as I followed Gage.
Time to do what I did best.
All my cylinders were firing when I walked into the small room that Ronan’s men had stashed the guy in. He was tied to a chair by both his hands and feet. A small amount of dried blood was caked on his forehead, probably from where he’d hit the steering wheel when his car had crashed into the ditch. A considerably larger swath of blood had stained his shirt on the right side of his body, just beneath his armpit. Since they’d caught the guy hours ago, I had to assume the injury wasn’t life-threatening.
Defiance (The Protectors, Book 9) Page 25
