by Leanne Davis
He came towards her, his hands on his hips, elbows pointed out as he asked, “It’s not like you to consent so easily. What gives?”
Ally smiled softly and touched his face. “I only argue when I’m sure I’m right. I don’t mind acquiescing when I’m wrong. You made a convincing case. I’m sorry I upset you.”
His eyebrows lowered. “You don’t apologize as a rule either. What’s really going on? Do you have more drugs stashed away?”
She couldn’t help laughing as she replied, “No, Nate. Why would I? I didn’t know they were any problem for you. If I kept them in my medicine cabinet, why would I hide the others? By the way, why were you digging around in my medicine cabinet?”
“I was looking for aspirin. I had a headache. Now? It’s more like a migraine.” Nate was prone to frequent headaches. Ally had noticed that in their short time together. She took his hand and led him to her bed, which was neatly made. She pushed off the decorative pillows before gently coaxing him down. He kicked his shoes off and swung his head back. Ally shut the blinds and dimmed the lights before getting him the aspirin and a glass of water which he eagerly took. He closed his eyes and she lay down next to him. He sighed. The lines around his mouth showed his discomfort, but he mumbled, “Thank you. For letting me flush them. I don’t want to worry about what they could be doing to your health.”
“Just rest, and relax, I’m fine. Finer than most of the time.” She bit her lip to keep the nasty smirk off her face. Oh yes, she was a bastion of physical and mental health; just look at all the chemicals she didn’t use.
“I should know that. But you are so strong, I thought maybe you needed them to be that way.”
“No. Nope. No pills for me. I promise.” And she wasn’t lying. She could easily agree and follow along with no more pills for her.
“Will you stay in here with me for a while? I like your company.”
“I can’t possibly see why. I wasn’t very nice to you.” Her heart pinged at the simple statement: his need for her. A migraine and he asked for her presence still? It was a greater compliment than being told how pretty or accomplished or capable she was to get such awesome grades. Her presence was desired by Nate because it somehow made him feel better.
His smile was brief, but filled with appreciation for her humor. “Don’t you have to go to dinner tonight? With your family?”
She groaned. “Yes.”
He turned and buried his face in her long hair. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’m glad you didn’t ask to come.”
“I know better. No family.”
“Does it bother you?”
“What? That I’m your dirty, little secret? No, I like it. Perfect Ally’s sexy secret. Don’t worry, I’m fine with our arrangement. As long as you are.”
Surprisingly, she was fine with it too. She liked Nate, more than she ever imagined. She was sexually attracted to him, which surprised her, but she also liked him and how much they had in common.
Chapter Six
WHEN NATE WOKE UP later, Ally was gone and so was most of his headache. It had been niggling at him all day, and exploded when he confronted Ally about what he thought would be a serious allegation. He wondered if she’d need some kind of rehab or intervention. He honestly had no idea, really, but taking other people’s drugs seemed like an ominous sign of something worse. But no. It was nothing like that. Ally seemed genuinely shocked at his concern over it. All of his well-rehearsed arguments turned out to be convincing points. It surprised him that she didn’t argue more. On the contrary, she was most agreeable to his suggestion, and pleasant. Even going so far as telling him to get rid of them? Nate watched her face carefully but she was completely natural, and had a very much at ease expression. She was not trying to act calm, and she truly seemed fine over losing the pills and promising not to use them again. In all honesty, Nate was rather astonished she’d reacted that way.
Groggily, he got up and rinsed his face in the bathroom sink. When he couldn’t see a towel to dry off with, he opened the cabinet under the sink and moved some stuff around to find one. A white, plastic grocery bag toppled out. He picked it up, and noticed a bunch of wrappers. Every variety of candy bar or Hostess snack product was represented. Surprised at his discovery, a smile appeared on his face. Ally had a sweet tooth. Who could’ve guessed? She was so rigid and disciplined, from her school work, to her class schedule, to her clothing and certainly even to what she ate, which was pretty bland and boring insofar as Nate ever witnessed. He usually ate at restaurants, and whenever she joined him, she always picked carefully through her food and barely ate anything.
Setting the bag aside, he found a clean pile of hand towels and brought one out. He soaked it wet with cold water and rubbed his eyes, trying to eradicate the last grip of the headache.
Eventually, he headed out, but only after making sure Ally’s roommates weren’t around. Janice and Tabitha were in and out a lot, since both girls had their own boyfriends, so it was pretty easy for him to sneak around. If he happened to get caught there, he could always mention their school project, which was the obvious excuse. Why they were keeping their relationship such a secret still mystified Nate. But beggars couldn’t be choosers when it came to Ally, and he was begging for any scraps from her. The relationship that was growing between them was moving along far better than he could’ve ever dreamed.
Nate went home and finished the assigned reading for his Planning for Sustainable Communities class. It was a core capstone class that he had to excel in. He also went to the laundromat to tackle his pile of smelly laundry. Before leaving, he swung by his dad’s house, which was in the area. His dad and Vickie lived on the outskirts of Marsdale in a condo that had an inviting pool and beautiful landscaping, situated on a golf course, where his father often played. Nate used to stop by fairly often to check up on his dad and give him some company. Now, however, Vickie replaced the need for that; but still, some habits were hard for Nate to break.
Vickie answered the door when he knocked. She was wearing slinky pants and a tight tank top with a filmy cover-up. Her hair was teased in a pretty, long, curly mess around her face. “Nate,” she exclaimed as she leaned forward and kissed his cheek with her bright red lips. He cringed at her familiar habit. Ally would not have liked that. She had valid opinions about their interactions, Nate was beginning to realize. Vickie was an attractive, flashy and helluva sexy woman. She used her sensuality in every single interaction she had, even with Nate still. Her stepson. Who used to have sex with her on a regular basis.
Though Nate rarely thought about Vickie in the nude anymore, it was understandable why Ally wanted him to keep his distance from her. In deference to her, he quickly pushed Vickie away as discreetly as he could. Vickie knew Nate well enough that if he started acting weird with her, she’d want to know the reason why. Telling Vickie about Ally was even worse than flirting with her. He didn’t dare admit he even had a girlfriend for fear that Vickie would then guess who it was.
“Dad home?”
Vickie waved her hand and replied, “Out with the guys, playing a round. Won’t be done for an hour or so. Wanna wait? And have dinner?”
“Sure.” Nate stared out the large picture window towards the verdant golf course. A round referred to his dad’s weekly golf club booking.
Vickie sat down and crossed her legs, dangling her heels. “So what’s new with you? You’ve been pretty busy the last few weeks?”
Turning, Nate easily fell into conversation with her, after years of habit. He didn’t know what Vickie was to him according to the family tree. Until now, there was no reason for him to give it any thought. Vickie was just Vickie. She taught him a lot about sex. Nate was bumbling and pretty new at it when Vickie introduced him to all kinds of new, maybe even hedonistic moves that were very satisfying carnally. She was extremely demanding too, which taught Nate how to please a woman, although he intended to keep that tidbit to himself. Since then, however, no matter how odd it seemed, Vickie
was content to be his friend. She always took his side when he told her about anything that bothered him. It didn’t matter what the subject matter was or if Nate was even in the right, Vickie invariably supported him. It pleased Nate, in all honesty, to have someone who was always so unconditionally loyal. Not exactly maternal, since it was Vickie, but she still loved him in a way that Nate appreciated receiving from her. So in truth, he genuinely liked and cared about her; and she seemed to feel the same way towards him now too.
His dad came home within an hour. Vickie was setting the table and bringing out the leftover vegetarian lasagna. Nate shook hands with his dad and chatted about his golf game, as well as Nate’s school and work. It was a pleasant encounter. His dad and he were more like friends than a father and son. Nate was always self-sufficient, maybe because he was an only child. Whatever the reason, he rarely needed help or guidance. Nate took care of himself as well as all of his shit from his good grades to his steady finances. His dad paid for his school and books and rent, while Nate worked each summer at the local PUD office, where he earned enough to cover his expenses throughout the school year. He was good at budgeting and had no trouble sticking to it.
Nate and his dad were sitting at the glass-topped table, their legs stretched out with dessert between them while Vickie chatted on the phone. All of a sudden, her loud exclamations drew their attention.
“That girl. I can’t believe her. The low-down scum-sucker. And he always was. Of course Ally is upset. She adored him. You know how much. She thought he was the moon and the stars. Someday, she’ll realize she doesn’t have to be perfect or try to live up to that ideal, that I swear, she still insists upon.”
Nate sat up as if a steel wire was suddenly rammed up his back. Ally? Upset? Over what? Whom? His gaze focused now on Vickie like a laser as she paced the kitchen in obvious agitation. Whatever the subject and whomever she spoke to about it managed to make always-take-things-as-they-are Vickie, visibly anxious. Nate drank liberally from his water glass, totally tuning out his dad until his dad’s voice faded away. “Nate?”
“Who’s Vickie talking to?”
“Gretchen.”
“Something must have happened.” Nate nodded absently, resting his elbows on the table and hunching his body over to hide his face so no one would question his sudden need to know both the subject and to whom Vickie was talking.
Finally, after numerous promises to call tomorrow, Vickie hung up and walked over to the men. “What was that about?” Nate asked, pouncing on her almost immediately. Vickie looped an arm around his dad’s neck before sitting in his lap. His dad pushed back from the table to accommodate her. “There was some hoopla at Tracy’s house tonight. Kylie went off and saw their father. Ally is a complete mess over it. Gretchen was just letting me know. I’m going over there to get Julia, and give them the night alone. Ally’s pretty upset, I guess.”
“At whom?” Nate asked, looking puzzled.
“Kylie. If you knew what their dad did to them. The low-down, fucking snake. I honestly can’t believe sweet little Kylie would go and shake up that wasp nest. But anyway…”
“Of course, we’ll take Julia for the night.” His dad jumped up and hurried off to find his keys.
Nate kept his gaze on Vickie. “Is Ally still there?”
“Ally left. She was really mad, I guess. Kylie left with Tristan, and was also upset, but ironically, so much better off. Which is a switch, usually it’s Ally who is better off than Kylie. Tracy’s upset, I offered to take Julia for the night, and she agreed.”
“You knew their dad?” Nate interrupted as Vickie had turned to Dane with the bit about Julia.
Vickie nodded, making a disgusted face before her expression turned solemn. “He left them. With no warning, he stole a bunch of money, and was about to get arrested so he ditched them. They were… God, it was the saddest thing I ever witnessed. I’ve caused some sad shit in my life, and you know, I don’t deny it. There’s a good reason my sister raises my child, but at least I knew who and what I was. I always owned up to it and tried to compensate for my faults and shortcomings by making sure Julia has good parenting in Donny and Tracy. Even though I love her. But Micah? He’s Ally and Kylie’s dad, and Micah just left them. He didn’t check in on them to make sure they were okay. I’m not proud of my faults, but at least I admit them and make an effort to compensate for whatever I can. I might not make up for everything, but Julia will never be abandoned or devastated or screwed up like what Micah did to my nieces. What he did to them was unforgiveable.”
Nate leaned over with a small smile on his face. Vickie was nothing if not honest. He touched her hand. “Julia loves you.”
Vickie shrugged her shoulders and squeezed his hand. He gently withdrew it, knowing Ally would not like them touching, not even in sincere kindness. “It would be like your dad leaving you, Nate. Micah was a lot like your dad. He was a good, no, a terrific father and husband. I truly believed Tracy had the perfect marriage and family. Until he left all of them stranded. Those girls were destroyed. It did something to all three of them that even Donny couldn’t fix. He became their father, as much as he could, but he couldn’t fill the holes in their hearts that their father left them with.”
The perfect family. Perfect. Wasn’t that what Ally always strove to be? Somehow, that word inevitably popped up in regard to Ally. And also managed to become the anthem by which Ally lived her life and the ideal she expected to attain. She tried to ignore her grades and not be so judgmental of herself, but Nate knew how much she obsessed over that B+. There was something almost sinister about how much it meant to her. Ally double-and triple-checked every single thing they did for their project, and always casually, as if she weren’t so anal. But Nate witnessed it often enough to recognize it. She didn’t leave anything to chance, nor allow herself to miss something twice, like she did on that geology test.
Dane walked out and put his coat on as Vickie got up. “You’ll excuse us, won’t you, son?”
“’Course. I’ll catch you guys later. Give my love to Julia. Tell her I’ll come by soon and we’ll watch a movie.” Nate’s brain was already whirling off in twenty different directions as his dad and Vickie left. Julia was only a kid, and his late-in-life stepsister. She was just too sweet not to love and adore. Nate tried to see her every few weeks and spend time with just the two of them, usually settling on a movie or dinner or some other fun event in town. When his dad first married Vickie, Nate was the least comfortable around Julia. Feeling guilty, after having slept with her mom, Nate was glad Julia didn’t really know about that. Right from the start, Julia respected and looked up to Nate.
Nate quickly left his dad’s house and headed immediately to Ally’s. He knocked and Janice answered the door. “Hey, Nate.” She let the door drift open and he stepped in behind her. Nate barely saw her small figure standing before him.
“Is Ally here?”
She waved towards the closed bedroom door. Music thumped loudly behind it, vibrating the walls. “Think so.” Janice wandered back into the living room, where a group of coeds lounged on the available seating.
Nate knocked, but heard nothing. The door was locked so he went to work on opening it, briefly peeking over his shoulder but finding no one particularly interested in his manipulations. Striding into Ally’s room, the music blasted in his ears. He was already stressed from looking for her, and the loud cacophony merely frustrated him all the more. Ally wasn’t in the bedroom and the bathroom door was locked. He leaned against it and listened to some muffled sounds, but mostly just heard the thumping of her noisy music. He didn’t notice Ally listening to music very often. It wasn’t like she clicked on the radio the minute she entered a room or got into the car. There were a few songs she admitted to liking, but not loving.
Nate knocked on the door. “Ally? Open the door.” It wasn’t a question but a command. He wanted her to open the door, although he had a deep feeling in his gut that she would not open it. He jiggled the doorknob for
the audible effect. Hearing little movements, and the crinkle of plastic, which stopped at his knocking made it spooky almost, but for the deafening music.
“Ally, I know you’re in there. I know something happened with your sister tonight. I was with Vickie when Gretchen called. Dad and Vickie left to go get Julia. So I know you’re upset. Now open up.”
More quick, sharp movements and more plastic crunching sounds. Then the toilet flushed and finally… at last, Ally opened the door and came out, almost pushing her shoulder into Nate as she passed him. She walked directly into her room and stood in the center of it with her arms crossed over her stomach. Her hair was pulled back in an elastic, and some strands sprang from her forehead in wayward swirls. Dressed in loose sweats, a t-shirt, and slippers, she didn’t look like Ally ever looked before to Nate. Her eyes were red-rimmed, an obvious sign she’d been crying and she was very pale with swollen eyelids and swollen cheeks.
She leaned over, still holding her stomach, her gaze fixed on the bed skirt as she started shaking her head. “I can’t deal with you right now, Nate. Please. I locked the door for a reason. I just need to be alone right now, okay? I’ll call you tomorrow. I promise. But I… I just need to be alone. Badly. Please leave. Don’t make this harder. Don’t make this about you and me. It’s not. I just need some time to get myself in order. This is… this is how I do that. Alone.”
Staring at her, he knelt beside her as he gently touched her shoulder. “Ally, please, let me help you. Let me be here for you. You’re obviously not okay.”
She shook her head. “I am, actually. I’m in perfect control right now for what I feel and how I deal with this. Please. Can’t you respect that? Don’t make me mad. Accept that I just need to be alone right now.”
Nate sucked in a breath. That was not what he wanted to hear or do. He was reluctant, almost obsessively so, to leave her. But what could he say to her plea? She seemed coherent enough and wasn’t any danger to herself, so how could he simply ignore her direct request? She very politely asked him to respect her. He did respect her, and ached to wrap her slim shoulders in his arms and pull her against him to ease whatever emotions she had to endure. Looking at her, there were some big ones in there. However, he removed his hand from her shoulder and slowly rose to his feet until he was staring down at her, his hands on his hips, and his elbows poking out.
