by M. Mabie
Where hadn’t we been in my imagination?
“My bed in my old room,” I confessed.
“Give me that—the way you pictured it—I want that first.”
Ironically, in my fantasy we’d had to be quiet because my parents were down the hall. With Delaney only a few doors down, we’d be authentically hushed to not wake her.
And fuck everything else, I wanted that first, too.
“Well, I would have been a little nervous. I was a virgin,” I admitted.
“So we’re in your room. On your bed, just like this. What was next?”
I wasn’t sure how we’d gotten ourselves in that fun game, but God it was good. Like a second chance, or a first chance, for that matter. I’d give her anything and I’d be damned to pass up the opportunity again.
She sat up, and I came with her.
“I suppose I’d aim to kiss you first.”
“Fire away.” She rose on her knees to catch my mouth with hers.
Accuracy would be a challenge. I wasn’t some boy who didn’t know what she liked, but I’d still enjoy the trip down Fantasy Lane.
Her tongue swept across mine, and the muscles in her back flexed and moved under my hands.
Then the moment took over.
Like I’d imagined in my wildest dreams, she lifted her arms, and I drug her shirt off and kissed her breasts as I unfastened her bra.
“I would have liked this,” she declared, lightly raking her nails over my scalp.
“I would have told you how beautiful you are and made sure you were ready.”
As she leaned back, my eyes met hers and I was reminded of where I was. I ripped my shirt over my head, balled it up, and tossed it at the wooden door. It nearly closed completely, but I didn’t hear it click. It was better than nothing.
In the pitch black it was easy to pretend it was real, and we were living out one of my dreams.
Hell, every dream I ever had.
“You’re beautiful,” I said and then flipped us over.
Her fingers tapped over my face. “You can’t even see me,” she gently argued.
“Oh, I see you. I’ve always seen you.”
She lifted her legs as I worked her underwear and shorts down her silky skin, kissing a trail from her ankle to her calf. I’d never felt flesh that smooth, that soft, as my hands and mouth wandered her body.
She moaned as my tongue occupied intimate places until I tasted her surrender on my lips. I removed my sweats with one hand before I made my way up the bed to a panting woman.
“I’m ready, Aaron.” Her legs wrapped around my hips. “I want you.”
Thank the Lord I wasn’t eighteen because those words would have undone me. Instead, they ignited me and I swept through her like a fire.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
FAITH
As I fought for air, my teeth pressed against his chest. I’d done everything humanly possible not to scream. And I wasn’t a screamer. I’d never even considered it.
Well, until then.
The orgasm I’d had but seconds before still smoldered inside me, enjoying each grind of his hips until he groaned and roared into the pillow over my shoulder.
It possessed him, and then he slowed. I loved his right-after moments. They were so strong and weak and sexy and precious.
I kissed his shoulder, salty and slick with sweat, over and over. The scent of his recent shower lingered on the clean skin at my lips. My palm smoothed over his heaving back, and eventually his breaths became measured and deep. Then his cheek shifted to the side against the pillowcase.
Aaron’s thick voice, close at my ear, leisurely cut through the darkness. “I’d call that an excellent first time.”
My chest caved from sheer joy. “You’ll get better. Maybe last longer,” I teased, or maybe it was more of a taunt.
Did I want more?
How was I so hungry for him, yet full at the same time?
“Are you serious right now? That was twice. Twice in a row.” He was playing and rolled his hips, just enough. He was only toying with me as much as I was with him, though, because I was exhausted and tapping out.
Aaron went on. “I’m totally willing to try round three, but I’m afraid I might not be ready or able.”
As tempting as it was to test his confidence, it was a challenge for another night. Satisfaction wasn’t something I often felt and not appreciating it would have been greedy.
All fears of the day ending badly, of somehow ruining it, were gone. Actually, the day had ended twenty minutes before that, but—let me tell you—the new day was already raising the bar.
My head fell to the side and our cheeks touched. “I’m thirsty.”
“I’ll go get you something,” he offered.
My tongue swiped over my bottom lip finding it tender and needing balm. “That’s okay. I want to check on Delaney too.” I wasn’t obsessive about looking in on her anymore, but sometimes a mother just wants to. Just in case.
“I should see if Smokie wants to go out for a minute.” He rolled away, and I climbed off the bed, legs wobbly, arms limp at my sides, as I made it to the light switch. Not thinking too much about it, only knowing I needed my robe, I flipped on the overhead light to look, as if I were alone.
I squinted, letting my eyes adjust to the sudden brightness. For the moment, I froze and silently studied Aaron’s naked backside when he tugged his sweats up. I stood there impressed, until it was out of view.
He caught me, but I didn’t care.
“Were you checking out my ass?”
Guilty. I nodded.
Aaron came near and cupped my cheeks. “You’re welcome to check out whatever you like, especially if you do it while you’re still naked.”
He caught my lips with his, quickly, and made a delightful sound while he kissed them. It had a ring to it, similar to the one I made when I ate something I shouldn’t. The gesture was just the brief, affectionate snack, to sweeten the moment. I’d think of it as the Yummy Kiss.
He had so many different ones, and each was better than the last.
With some effort on my part, I managed to avoid staring at his chest after we parted.
Sure enough, I found my robe, and then realized I hadn’t panicked about him seeing me, naked and in all my glory. I tied the belt in a knot and thought about how I had no clue how many pounds I was down or up, and yet I’d never felt more in my skin before.
I’d never felt as myself as I had since spending time with Aaron.
When someone tells you you’re beautiful, sometimes it’s hard to hear, but when they make you feel it, it’s easier to believe.
It didn’t matter how fat or thin my body was, he was good for me either way. He’d like me either way, and I smiled at him as we walked to Delaney’s room at the end of the hall together.
The door didn’t even creak as I pushed it open so we could peek inside. Just as I’d left her, Del was out, peacefully dreaming.
Smokie’s head popped up when Aaron whispered, “Go out?” After a stretch, the lanky dog crept to him at the door and they left.
I fought the urge to touch Del’s cheek, not wanting to disturb her. Sometimes it was hard not to kiss her again or tuck her in better or to get the hair out of her face or basically fuck with her because I loved her so much. She was my baby and it was going too fast.
Instead of smothering her with stupid mom-love while she slept, I pressed a kiss to my fingers and left it on her forehead.
Even though I was trying to be quiet, every step I took in the bathroom sounded extra slappy in the middle of the night. I washed my hands and found a tube of ChapStick in a drawer. My face was flushed and my hair was unsalvageable. There was nothing I could do to improve it, and the efforts would have been in vain anyway because I was ready to sleep. I didn’t even bother to pull it back before I flipped the switch out and walked down the hall.
“Hurry up,” he said out the front door.
It was strange seeing him standing ins
ide the screen with his arms raised, holding onto the wooden doorframe. I’d always assumed his insides matched his outsides, and in the short amount of time we’d spent together since things had changed, I was surprised that there were even more facets of him to appreciate. For the record, his insides were better.
Without the burden of uncertainty I’d felt for so long, I was able to look at him closer. He was generous and sincere. Thoughtful and easy to talk to. Learning new things about him brought out the adventurer in me.
I’d explore all of Aaron. From the light smattering of hair on his chest to the things I could do to spoil him. I’d find all the details I could.
Smokie trotted through the door and found his dish by the table for a drink.
“Water?” I asked Aaron.
“Please.”
When we climbed back into the blankets, he lay on his back on the usually empty side. My body drifted to his, starting with my big toe, and it wandered to his leg. He moved closer. Then my finger snuck under the sheet in his direction and found his arm.
“Just get over here, Fay.”
I slept in his arms. In my house. In my room. In my bed.
In love.
“FAITH, HEY.”
I inhaled and stretched.
“Faith, I have to go. I have a call.” He was fully clothed, sitting on the mattress beside me. It was still dark in my room.
“What?” I asked.
“I have to go in to work.”
He kissed my mouth, which made me wake up a little more and I tried to sit up. “I’m up.”
He chuckled. “No, you stay in bed. It’s only three in the morning. Sleep. I’ll see you later.”
Aaron was smart because my bed felt so comfy and good. “Okay. I’ll see you later.”
I fell back asleep until the alarm on my phone went off. I’d been up late but felt rested and eager to get the day going. It was a shame he wasn’t there to waste the few extra minutes I had since I hadn’t hit the snooze button ten times. I turned the other alarms off and headed for the coffee pot.
I was finishing my first cup when Madame appeared around the corner.
“Good morning,” I said. “Did you sleep well?”
She rubbed her eyes as she lumbered to me and bent over to lay her head on my lap. I scratched her back and tipped back the last swallow in my mug.
“Where’s Smokie?” Her voice was raspy and her hair was twice as big as it was when she’d gone to sleep.
“He went home. Do you want breakfast here or at the diner?”
“I want eggs.” There was plenty of time to make them at home, but I wanted to talk to Mom and let her know I was starting at the bank on Monday if it wasn’t going to put her in too much of a pinch. She was right about Naydeen looking for more hours. I wasn’t going to worry about it.
What was that old saying? If you worry you’re just suffering twice, or something like that.
I was going for it.
“Okay, go get dressed, brush your teeth, and put some toys in your bag. We’ll eat there.”
She was adorable and possibly not awake enough to argue. “Will you make me some extra chocolate milk?”
Smoothing the hair from her cheek, I hunched over to kiss her. “I will.”
“Good, I need it.”
She’d been up late so it didn’t surprise me that she was dragging, but I’d been up pretty late too and I felt right as rain. Although we didn’t get to the restaurant nearly as early as I’d aimed for, we made it. When Del was set up with her eggs and her milk, I moseyed back to the kitchen to have a chat with Mom.
It was Friday, so she was breading fish for the afternoon before the place got busy. The morning liar’s club was drinking coffee out front, and we wouldn’t have a breakfast rush like we did on the weekends.
Swaying, I sort of danced around the steel table she was working at. “So, I had my interview yesterday,” I began, easing into the conversation.
She wiped her brow with her forearm, careful not to use her gloved hands. “I thought that was today?”
I pulled the plastic wrap off the second bowl of egg wash she’d made, noticing she was nearly finished with the first, and swapped them out. “Nah, Howie called yesterday and moved it up.”
“Well, how’d it go?” Her eyes darted to me and then back to what she was doing, gauging by her expression she was just as excited to hear good news.
“I got the job.”
“Oh, Faith. That’s fantastic.” She pulled her gloves off and met me halfway around the table for a hug. “I knew you’d get it. I’m so happy for you, sweetie. So tell me the details.”
I helped her prep the fish and told her all the specifics. Apparently, she’d already talked to Naydeen and they were just waiting to hear.
After breakfast was finished and everything was washed up, I got things ready for lunch and it all started to sink in.
Then the bell over the door rang and I knew it was him in my bones.
“Honey, Aaron’s out front,” Mom said in passing on her way to the cooler.
I peeked in on Del. She was engrossed in an episode of Paw Patrol, so I strolled up front. I wasn’t sure he’d make it in since they’d been called out early that day, but I was glad he was there. I hoped he’d be as excited about my news and he’d help me celebrate.
“Now that I’ve told my boss my news, I guess I can start telling my customers.” I placed his ice water on the table, and since no one was around, I bent to kiss him hello before he could reply.
His lips were life.
When I pulled away, he latched onto my arm and brought me back for a little more.
“I hope you don’t greet all of your customers like this, but I can see how it would keep them coming back for more,” he praised with a shit-eating grin. “Now what’s this news that’s got you smiling like that?”
“I got a job at Bank of Wynne.” I bounced and shook my ass. “So this is the last time I’ll be serving you lunch.”
He froze and the color faded in his cheeks.
“Faith,” Mom called from the back. “Honey, can you give me a hand real quick?”
I studied his face as I answered, “Yeah, be right there.” I reached for his arm and he tensed. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine,” he stammered.
“I’ll be right back.” I rounded the dessert case and glanced at him once more, confused about his reaction.
I ran through the kitchen and found my mom holding onto boxes and standing still at the cooler door, about to drop the top ones. “Help,” she pleaded. “They’re about to go.”
After I pulled the top two from her load and set them on the table beside her, I was already headed back up to Aaron as she thanked me.
He was gone, and the glass door was still closing. I jogged to the front and stepped out onto the sidewalk just in time to hear him.
“Hey, Howie. It’s Aaron. We need to talk.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
AARON
It had been a long time coming, but I finally did it.
Well, most of it anyway.
I’d finally put an end to something I’d been doing for far too long, and I’d deal with those consequences when they showed up. However, I had a suspicion they never would.
The last change I needed to make would be more difficult because before I could stop, I’d have to talk to Faith. I’d have to tell her what I’d been doing. Come clean and take my lashes if there were any to be had.
Deep down, the conversation had been looming for weeks, like the only cloud in our otherwise sunny sky. Sometimes it was easy to push aside, to ignore, but I had to do the right thing. I had to find the right time.
After I’d spoken to my banker, I realized how rude I’d been to Faith when she told me about her new job. How I’d frozen up. How I’d panicked.
I was ashamed of myself, but she easily let me off the hook when I apologized for leaving in such a hurry. I never went into detail about it, never lied, onl
y told her I was sorry that I hadn’t said goodbye. Then I had two shifts in a row that weekend, and by the grace of God, she was glad to see me Sunday afternoon, which was awesome because every time I walked past that one side of engine number one I’d get hard as hell thinking about what we’d done there.
I honestly thought she’d bring my attitude up some other time, and that would be my sign that it was time to put everything on the table. But she didn’t, and the days only got better and better.
The end of the summer had flown by, and it truly felt like a new season in Wynne. Faith loved her banker’s hours and actually enjoyed her days, even cutting her bartending hours down by a lot. Although she’d been overwhelmed with so much to learn at first, after a few weeks had passed, she was becoming more confident.
Randy and I promoted Wade to the position I’d been in and Randy backed down to part-time. So that meant, at least for the time being, I could have most weekends off. Unless there was a call.
We took a trip to Browning and bought Delaney’s first wardrobe of school clothes, supplies, and even found her a Moana backpack.
Being there for those firsts—Delaney’s firsts—was incredible.
My feelings for Faith only grew, but being in Delaney’s life was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Here was this sweet, feisty, beautiful, smart baby girl, and day-by-day I was learning this whole new brand of love.
When she giggled, there was nothing in the world more important to listen to. When she needed help, I wanted to be someone she could come to for it. When she cried ... well, I did not like that. Not at all.
Honestly, it made me feel like puking.
“She just bumped her head,” Faith appeased before bed one Sunday night.
Watching the mother care for her child, I was one second away from calling Will and Carol over to check her.
Faith put her hand on my arm to calm me down, but Delaney’s crocodile tears looked serious. “Aaron, she’ll be okay. There’s not even a knot. It’s not her first head whack and it won’t be the last.”
