Alexandra shook her head. “Not really.”
“Dreams clean out the clutter. When we wake, our minds are clear to take on the day.”
But her mom’s wringing hands sent Alexandra’s stomach plummeting. “Oh, God, no,” she whispered. “That wasn’t a dream. He hit you, didn’t he?”
“Your father was a monster.” Kimberly’s hushed delivery sent a chill down Alexandra’s spine. “One night you woke up and saw him attack me. You were wild with fear.”
Alexandra started shaking, the tremors jolting her like earthquakes. She didn’t want to believe it, but the truth was impossible to ignore. Her amazing, doting father was an evil bastard. She choked back a sob as tears flowed down her temples.
The nightmare finally made sense. And the other one, too. The man kissing a lady that wasn’t his mommy was her child’s brain wresting with the fact that her father was kissing a woman that wasn’t her mommy. I saw him with another woman. Nausea blurred her thoughts while her heart thundered in her chest.
“Everything changed the day I found the courage to boot the son of a bitch out. You, Colton and I forged a new family. And loving, peaceful one.” Kimberly smiled. “Though I miss Cain terribly, I’m thankful you and Colton survived the horror of Wilson Mitus.”
“Why didn’t Colton tell me?”
“He was a tormented little boy. After Wilson left, he became your protector, then time and our love healed him.”
Her heart broke for her mom and for the brother she adored and admired. Silence hovered, the harsh reality sinking in. When she felt like she could move, she curled up next to her mom on the couch. “I’m sorry for the hell you endured. I resented the secrets I knew you both were keeping, but now I understand why you kept them. What happened to Wilson?”
Kimberly stiffened. “He vanished. Recently he attempted a hostile takeover of the Francesco Company and Colton almost lost Crockett Boxes.”
“Wow. Where is he?”
“He’s an executive at MobiCom in Northern Virginia.”
“Thank you for telling me the truth, Mom. Talking about this wasn’t easy.” Alexandra hugged her mom.
“It was necessary.” She hesitated. “I won’t always be around forever to protect you, my angel.” She patted Alexandra’s leg. “Now, let’s talk about Crockett, shall we?”
Alexandra drove home in a stupor. Though grateful for the truth, the conversation with her mom had wrecked her.
It was after ten. She’d stayed later than expected and hoped to find Crockett sprawled on his living room sofa. The roaring gas flames greeted her with silent waves along with a note on his dining room table. “Wake me.”
She glanced down the hallway and into his dark bedroom. Was his open door an invitation for her to go in? Let him sleep. She turned away. The disappointment of not seeing him, of not being near him, of not touching him left her feeling empty and alone.
After storing the leftovers in the refrigerator, she poured herself a glass of wine and sat at the dining room table, admiring the panoramic view. How much did Crockett know about Wilson? Was he privy to the Mitus secrets? The resentment she’d harbored against her mom and Colton disappeared. Not only had they each endured a world of pain at the hand of her father, they’d sheltered her from the abominable horrors. For as long as she could remember, she envisioned a day when she’d be reunited with her dad. That dream fizzled, but the loss remained. She’d idolized a man who had abused the two people she most adored.
Maybe the alcohol contributed to the building emotion, but when she downed the last sip, the rush of grief and anger came thundering out in a tornado of heartache.
Crockett woke with a start. Pushing past his tired muscles and aching bones, he got out of bed. Wearing only the cotton pajama bottoms he’d fallen asleep in, he found Alexandra curled on his sofa, her head bowed in her hands, sobbing. Though her cries were muffled, he’d heard her in his dreams.
She’s upset about Kimberly.
Sitting beside her, he put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Rather than ask her if she was okay—which she wasn’t—or ask what was wrong, he just stroked her back until her weeping subsided. When she lifted her tearstained face to his, he kissed her. One tender kiss because he could not resist. Even sad, her beauty astounded him.
After grabbing a handful of tissues, he waited while she dried her eyes. Somehow, Alex made nose blowing cute. Her teeth chattered, so he covered her with a blanket.
“For the first time in my life, my mom talked to me like an adult,” she said. “Now I understand why she and Colton sheltered me.”
He tucked her hair behind her ear. “Did you get the answers you needed?” His side ached where he’d been kicked, so he shifted, trying to get comfortable.
Awareness flashed in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so selfish. Did you soak in the bath? Have you eaten?”
“No and breakfast.”
“That’s not enough food. We packed up most of dinner for you.” She threw off the blanket and beelined toward the kitchen. Five minutes later, he was enjoying salmon almondine, mixed vegetables and wild grain rice.
“You want to talk about your conversation with Kimberly?” he asked.
In a quiet voice, Alexandra relayed everything she’d learned about the real Wilson Mitus. His heart broke for a family he loved as much as his own. But he also admired Colton and Kimberly for their inner strength and sheer determination.
When she finished, Crockett’s guts had knotted. He’d also been keeping information from her, for what he believed was her own good. He opened his mouth to confess, but she held up her hand. “You have been there for me and now it’s my turn. Let’s go soak your sore muscles.”
He joined her in the bathroom. With the Jacuzzi filling fast, she poured in Epsom salts. Her gaze traveled over every inch of him, but when her eyes met his, he hoped his grateful smile conveyed what he couldn’t say. Because the next thing out of his mouth would be the truth.
“I’d say you fared pretty well,” she said after examining him thoroughly. She ran the pads of her fingers over the bruise on his side. “That’s gotta hurt.”
“I’ve had worse.”
After the crystals dissolved, he removed his pants and climbed in. While the jet blasts beat against his aching muscles, she massaged his shoulders. He should be comforting her, but instead, he leaned against the porcelain and accepted her loving touch.
When the water cooled, he got out. She eyed his saluting hard on and waggled her eyebrows. “The gift that keeps on giving,” she said with a sparkle in her eyes.
He couldn’t contain his laugh and groaned from the shooting pain. After helping him dry off, she suggested he get into bed.
He had to tell her. Though he ran the risk of losing her, she wasn’t his to lose. Not this time. Maybe if he told her the truth, she would forgive him for what he’d done.
“I have a confession,” he said, and watched her playful expression fall.
22
Unmasked
“Not you, too?” she whispered.
Since Crockett hadn’t planned for this, he had no strategy. Winging things wasn’t his style, but based on the worry in her eyes, he didn’t want to drag this out. After pulling on the pajama bottoms, he clasped her hand. “Let’s sit by the fire.” Though he had a fireplace in his bedroom, he didn’t want to tell her in his bed. Beds were for lovemaking and for sleep. Not for drudging up the past.
After pouring himself a scotch and refilling her wine glass, he sat on the floor by the hearth. She sat on the edge of the ergonomic leather chair and set the wine glass on the side table. Leaning forward, she clasped her legs to her chest. He hoped his words would eliminate her scowl and the anxiety in her eyes.
“I know you loved me once,” he said, keeping his voice low and steady.
She bolted upright. “Please, not tonight.”
“What you don’t know is that I loved you, too. So much. And that’s why I had to let you go.”
&
nbsp; In a flash, she flew out of the chair. “Crockett—”
He held up his hand. “Let me say this.”
Her deep inhale was followed by a slow, audible hiss. “Alright.”
“I met you Thanksgiving weekend freshman year. The only thing you said all weekend was that in four years you were going to journalism school at USC. Do you remember that?”
A tiny smile lifted the corners of her mouth and she sank back into the chair. “I remember a lot about you from that weekend.”
“Good, then you might recall that the day you told me you loved me, you also told me you were withdrawing from USC. More than anything, I wanted to tell you how deeply I’d fallen in love with you. But I couldn’t.”
“You loved me?”
“Yes, very much, which is why I couldn’t be the reason you didn’t follow your dream.”
Her eyes softened, but she stayed quiet. He studied her face, the cute way she’d haphazardly tied her hair in a ponytail and how it hung lopsided, and then he caught a glimpse of hope springing from her deep, soulful eyes. Don’t hold back.
“One weekend during sophomore year, I’d come home with Colton. You were still wearing dark clothing and Goth makeup and you rarely spoke. Something I said made you giggle. Your belly laugh lit up your face and the room. It touched me, too.”
“I remember your surprised expression made me laugh harder.”
He tipped the lowball glass into his mouth and swallowed down some scotch. “The day of our graduation party, I checked with your mom to confirm the gorgeous woman in the flowery dress was you. The transformation was astounding. Eleven years later, you’re breathtaking. But it’s your inner beauty I love most. That summer was bittersweet for us both. I fell in love with someone I knew would be leaving. The end was inevitable.”
She slid off the chair and scooted close, but faced the fire. “Can I say something now?”
“Go ahead.”
“I had a crush on you from the moment I met you. After four years of hiding behind my Goth, I decided to take a chance. On you.” She tilted her face and peeked through her lush lashes. “I didn’t expect to fall so hard.”
“Ending something that good killed me, but I didn’t see how a long-distance relationship would benefit either one of us. Every time you came home during college, Kimberly made sure I knew you were in town. But you wouldn’t see me.”
“I couldn’t. It hurt too much.”
“When I realized it was you at Incognito, I went after you. Sophia’s absence haunts me every day, but life becomes bearable when you’re by my side.” He tossed back another sip. “I don’t give a damn about what those men are doing at Incognito, but it’s important to you, so I’ve made it a priority. That woman—Sage—I haven’t thought twice about her, but you care, so I’ll do whatever I can to help you shake the nightmares. You needed a safe place to live, so I moved you in with me. But goddammit, Alex, I need more. A lot more.”
“Crockett.” She murmured his name like a prayer.
“I need to tell you what I couldn’t say all those years ago.” He clasped her hands, stroked her skin with his thumbs. “Eleven years ago, I wasn’t in a position to make you mine, but I’ll do whatever it takes now. I see the way you look at me, the way you find excuses to touch me, and how connected we are, even at the club. I adore you, Alexandra, but if you don’t feel the same way, now would be the time to put it out there.”
Alexandra was convinced she’d misheard him. Was now the time to admit her true feelings? Tell him she’d never stopped loving him. Admit she’d dreamt of a life with him. Though the room was toasty warm, a shiver ran through her. She wasn’t ready to talk, but she might be able to show him. “I used to be good at making your pain go away. Where does it hurt?”
“Where doesn’t it hurt?”
She kissed his cheek. “Here?”
“That helped.”
“And here, too?” She kissed his other cheek, then his earlobe and his neck. When her mouth found his, she knew she’d come home.
Despite the trembling, she needed to take this next step. But her deep-seated fear of abandonment had crippled her. She hadn’t made love to a man in eleven years. Sex, yes. But sex and lovemaking weren’t the same thing. Letting Crockett into her heart would leave her vulnerable, but she needed to be close to him. In every way possible. She needed to push past her fear and take this next step.
Moving off him, she stood. Though her heart raced and she had to keep reminding herself to breathe, she peeled off her sweater, then her pants. Once naked, she helped him remove his pajama bottoms.
“You’re shaking,” he murmured. “Let me hold you.”
“After, you can hold me all night.” His knowing smile boosted her confidence. “Would you be more comfortable in bed?”
“The only place I want to be is inside you.” His voice had dropped. His huskiness made her heart pound faster and her insides clench with need.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t leave me,” he murmured.
God, his honesty was stirring up a maelstrom of emotion. “I haven’t done this in a long time.”
When he stroked her breast, his fingers grazed her nipple. Excitement shot through her. “Condoms are in my night table.”
While she wanted to feel his hard, thick shaft without the thin layer of latex, she wasn’t ready for that level of intimacy. Small steps. She retreated into his bedroom and returned with a packet, which he rolled on.
As she straddled him, she watched for signs of pain. If Crockett was uncomfortable, he hid it well. “I want to make love,” she murmured. “But I’m afraid. I have no mask to hide behind. I’m vulnerable and so are my feelings.” She gobbled down a jittery breath.
“Let me love you, my sweet, beautiful Alexandra. Let me show you how much you mean to me. Trust this. Trust us.”
Losing him had been unbearable. Would loving him now result in more heartache? The adoration in his eyes mirrored everything she felt for this man. No regrets.
One simple kiss unleashed a decade of waiting and hoping and wanting. She let go and got lost in everything Crockett. The build was slow and tender. The kissing never stopped, nor did their touching. Neither could look anywhere but into the other’s eyes, into their bared souls. She loved Crockett Wilde with her entire being and she felt his love tenfold.
When their lovemaking ended, she lay by his side, sated and happy. The flickering firelight danced in his eyes, the outpouring of his love undeniable.
After dotting her face in worshipful kisses, he smiled. “I’ve missed you so much.”
She propped herself on her elbow, kissed his shoulder, his chest, his cheek, and when her lips touched his, she smiled.
He slipped his hand behind her neck and pulled her close. One soft, doting kiss turned into many. “I’m still in pain,” he murmured.
“Then I’ll stay up all night and kiss you better.”
23
The Forensic Sketch
Crockett reached out for her, but she was gone. Though groggy, his eyes flew open. He’d dreamt she’d left him and moved back west. Not happening. Dismissing the thought, he stretched…and groaned. His sore muscles and battered body felt the full impact of his bouts the day before. Fuck, I ache.
The sublime image of Alexandra gliding over him sent a surge of electricity pulsing through him. Her soft curves, silky skin and look of love erased his anxiety and soothed his pain. Pushing slowly out of bed, he padded into the bathroom. Upon exiting, he pulled on a T-shirt and sweat pants, grabbed the gift box from his closet shelf, and left in search of his Goth Girl.
Their rumpled clothing lay on the floor by the fireplace and warmth flooded his chest. He’d waited years for last night. Well worth it.
Alexandra stood at the counter, scooping coffee into the filter, wearing yoga pants and a long-sleeved shirt. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and tell her how fucking much he loved her.
“Good morning.” He set t
he gift on the island and wrapped his arms around her. Her beautiful scent surrounded him. Nuzzling her neck, he breathed deep. No perfume, no lotion. Just Alex. Though subtle, her muscles tensed.
Instead of leaning against him or turning to face him, she stepped away, severing their connection. Her tight smile didn’t touch her eyes. “How are you feeling?”
He studied her face, trying to make sense of her chilly behavior. After last night, he’d assumed that their relationship had taken a step forward. Unmasked sex. No role-playing. Beautiful lovemaking. But today, she couldn’t push him away fast enough. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She spun around and finished making coffee.
Bullshit. He grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen and swallowed down four. Yesterday’s injuries were screaming today. His body hurt in more places than his brain could absorb. He pulled out the carton of eggs and a large skillet.
Ten minutes later, they ate in silence side-by-side at the breakfast bar. He’d not anticipated the day would begin like this.
Maybe the food helped. Or the coffee. Maybe the silence did the trick. Could have been his groan when he got up to refill their mugs. When he delivered her hot drink, she offered a timid smile. That’s a start.
With a grunt, he sank onto the stool.
“Are you in pain?” she asked.
He didn’t need a fucking nursemaid. He needed her to talk to him. “What pains me is that you won’t be honest with me.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”
Not good. The tightening in his chest had nothing whatsoever to do with his physical injuries.
“Coming home has reopened old wounds,” she said. “My life is one big lie. My father—whom I adored—is a monster. My mother is dying. ‘Everyone knows, but don’t tell Alexandra’.” She set down her mug. “For over a decade I kept my distance from you. Last night I learned the truth about why you let me go. I’m grateful you would do that for me, but it doesn’t eliminate the heartache. I’ve loved two men and both rejected me. Wilson Mitus didn’t leave me, per se, but tell that to the six-year-old child inside me that he abandoned.”
THE WILDE TOUCH: Book Two of The Touch Series Page 22
