by Tara Frejas
“Why so distracted, Kuya Mon?”
“Ga!” he exclaimed, surprised to find his cousin Garnet standing in front of him. He got up and angled for a hug. “What are you doing here?”
“Late lunch with the team,” Garnet replied and hugged him tight. As if on cue, a couple of ladies, all lugging duffel bags over their shoulders, made their way into Balai Esperanza. They were followed closely by three middle-aged men in green polo shirts. Coaches, Ramon supposed, if the De La Sierra University basketball team insignia embroidered on their breasts were anything to go by. “Dad did mention you were coming back home for good, but you never showed your face at home. How come?”
“Lots of things going on, sorry. I was planning to go to one of your games when the season started.”
“One of my games? Just one?”
“You’re not the only one who’s busy, Ga.”
“Fine.”
“Did you just come from a game? Practice?” he asked, noting Garnet’s damp hair, pulled up in a tight ponytail. “Your hair is still wet. Why’d you tie it up?”
“Tune-up game. And oh my god kuya, we haven’t seen each other in so long and you’re already nagging me!”
“Well...I figure you might’ve missed it.” He clicked his tongue. “But seriously, your hair is still wet.”
“Fine, fine. I’ll untie it, sheesh.” Garnet pulled her hair tie off and flashed an are-you-happy-now look at Ramon. She spared a quick glance to his table and looked back at him with knitted brows. “Were you waiting for someone?”
“I was.”
“Did you get jilted?”
“What? No. It’s—” He sighed and squeezed the nape of his neck. “I’m not sure where she is right now, actually.”
Garnet grinned. “Aha, so it was a girl!”
“Ga.”
“Tell me about her.” Garnet dropped her bag on the floor and sat at his table. “I’ll join my team later. Let me catch up with you!”
* * *
“Were you even planning to tell me all this?”
“Why are you acting like I’m keeping a huge secret from you?”
“This is huge, okay? I remember you telling me about this girl before!”
Ramon shook his head, reminded again of his close ties to Garnet. Both only children of their respective families, their dads saw to it they developed a strong bond growing up. And while he was older than her by almost three years, Garnet enjoyed bossing him around every now and then.
Ramon found Garnet’s presence to be a welcome distraction. As she chatted up a storm, he forgot his disappointment over Erin’s no-show, albeit briefly. He discovered Garnet’s teammates to be a lively bunch as well when she dragged him over to their table and made the introductions.
“There’s nothing to tell.” Something dry lodged in his throat when he emphasized the word. “As you can see, I got stood up.”
A frown replaced the enthusiastic smile Garnet had on. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Then…I don’t like her.”
“And your opinion matters why?”
“Hey!” The creases on Garnet’s forehead became even more pronounced. “You’re my kuya and I’m just looking out for you.”
“It’s not her fault, okay?”
“Then why didn’t she show up? Why won’t she answer your calls?”
The universe seemed to have heard Garnet’s accusatory tone and decided she was being unfair. Right then, a waitress approached their table and asked if Ramon’s name was Ramon Figueroa.
“Yes, that’s me,” he replied, eyeing the neon pink Post-it in the lady’s hand. “Is there anything wrong?”
“Ms. Erin Javier called our reception and left this message.”
Ramon took the pink piece of paper when it was handed to him. Mumbling a distracted “thanks,” his heart sank to his stomach when he read the note.
Pls look 4 Ramon Figueroa. Tall, bald guy. So sorry, can’t come. Feeling sick. Erin Javier.
He looked up at the waitress. “Did this call come in just now?”
“A few minutes ago.”
“I’ll get the bill, please,” Ramon said and motioned to the untouched dishes on the table. “I’d like these wrapped up as well, thank you.” The waitress only nodded and called the attention of another waitress who came over and helped her.
Ramon stared at the Post-it again and shook his head. “Something’s not right…”
“Do you think she’s lying?”
He flashed Garnet a look. “Okay, I’ll shut up now,” she squeaked.
Erin’s number was still out of reach when Ramon tried contacting her again. Impatient, he pulled a couple of bills from his wallet and placed it on the table.
“Ga, please take care of the bill. I’m sure this is enough to cover everything.” He got up and dropped a kiss on Garnet’s hair. “I have to go.”
“Kuya…”
“I’ll come visit soon, I promise.” Ramon squeezed her shoulder and dialed Mark’s number as he made his way out of the restaurant. As far as he knew, Erin lived by herself. And alone is the worst thing to be when you’re feeling really sick.
He wondered if Erin had eaten something bad from her date last night, or got herself sick drinking. He didn’t recall her to be much of a drinker, but he trusted she knew her limits.
“Pare, what’s up?” Mark’s cheerful voice broke his train of thought.
“Mark—hey, this might sound like a weird request, but…I got word that Erin’s sick right now, and I’m worried she’s alone. Do you have her home address?” Ramon asked, digging his pocket for his car key. “The last one I remember was the dorm she stayed in a few years ago…”
There was silence on the other line, and Ramon assumed the stage manager was contemplating on whether or not to give the information he asked for.
“I can’t reach her, Mark. Her phone’s dead,” he added. “I’m just really worried.”
“I found it. I’ll text it to you—is that okay?”
“Yes, please. Thank you.”
He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Garnet there, holding a brown paper bag with the Balai Esperanza logo on it. “You forgot this,” she said. “Ate Erin might need some comfort food.”
Eleven
Lame. Lame, lame, lame. Laaaame.
Erin buried her face into a pillow and groaned. What was happening? What had she done? Just last night, she was having the time of her life wining and dining with Pio Alvez, but now…
What is this feeling?
She shouldn’t have kept herself awake thinking of Pio kissing her on the cheek when he dropped her off in front of her apartment building at two in the morning. She shouldn’t have hit the Snooze button on her alarm clock when it went off at nine. What she should have done was charge her phone before falling asleep and get out of bed on time to meet Ramon for lunch.
But of course, she failed on both accounts.
She made it to Balai Esperanza, an hour-and-a-half late, rehearsing apologies and thinking up ways to make it up to Ramon. She hated being late for anything, and she felt terrible having to make her friend wait for over an hour.
But her guilt took a backseat when she stepped into the busy restaurant and found Ramon being affectionate with another girl.
Conclusions were made about the girl’s identity even before Erin could stop herself. Sierran, athlete, probably a junior or senior. The emerald green and white varsity jacket tied around the girl’s waist was a dead giveaway. College Girl seemed to be introducing Ramon to more girls gathered at a long table. Basketball team. A Lady Hunter, she concluded upon spying a basketball on one of their vacant chairs.
Erin hadn’t felt like a total outsider in a long while until she found herself watching Ramon reach across the table and shake hands with the other girls. He laughed along with them and put an arm around College Girl’s shoulder. College Girl snaked an arm around Ramon’s waist, and Ramon pulled her close to kiss her hair.
He. K
issed. Her. Hair.
Why that bothered Erin so much was beyond her, but she spun on her heels and exited the restaurant anyway, confusing the receptionist who ushered her in.
Did she feel like she intruded on something very personal? Maybe. Ramon was supposed to meet her today! Granted, she was horribly late but…was that reason enough for him to call someone else to have lunch with him instead?
Impulse fueled everything Erin did after that. She hailed a cab and returned to her apartment, plugged her phone into an outlet—she really should buy herself one of those power banks soon—used her landline to call the restaurant and asked if they could relay a message to a Ramon Figueroa.
But now, now she laid in bed, kicking the air every few minutes. Did she just throw a tantrum?
That was such a stupid move, Erin Javier. Why are you even so worked up about this?
You should be happy Ramon didn’t bore himself to death waiting for you.
It’s a good thing he found someone to have lunch with.
But who is she?
What if she combed through Ramon’s Facebook friends so she could find College Girl? Maybe they took a picture at the restaurant and posted it online. Ramon wasn’t too much of a social media person, but maybe College Girl tagged him or something?
Jesus Christ, Erin—seriously? Burn that idea to the ground.
Exasperated, Erin pulled the blanket over her head. She probably needed to go back to sleep.
* * *
Frantic doorbell ringing roused Erin from her afternoon slumber. A glance at her alarm clock told her she lost an hour to a nap that didn’t help make her feel any better about her life choices.
She shuffled out of the bedroom and went straight to the door, tiptoeing to peek through the peephole. The sight of Ramon jolted her awake. How did he know where to find me?
Why is he here?
“Erin?” He knocked, perhaps deciding the doorbell was useless at this point. “Are you in there? It’s Ramon. I just need to know if you’re okay…”
She considered not answering so he’d just go away, but she couldn’t ignore the concern in his voice. He genuinely believed she was sick and came all the way here.
Oh god, what have I done?
Erin undid all three locks and pulled the door open, revealing a distressed-looking Ramon. They stood there for a good three seconds saying nothing to each other until he reached to touch her forehead.
“Oh good, you don’t have a fever.” His words sounded like a relieved sigh. “How are you feeling?”
She didn’t know what to say. Her guilt was eating her alive.
“May I come in?”
“Y-yeah, sure.” She pulled the door open wider and stepped aside to let Ramon in. She told him it was okay to keep his shoes on, but he took them off anyway and placed it on the shoe rack nearby. Erin’s heart sank when he handed her the takeout bag from Balai Esperanza, saying he was worried she didn’t have anything to eat.
“How did you know where I live?”
“I called Mark,” came his reluctant reply. “Your phone was off, and I was worried. Especially after getting that message.”
“You shouldn’t have worried—so much. It was just a stomachache,” she lied.
“Ate something bad?”
“I…don’t know. I guess?” Blood rushed to her face. She was running out of excuses. “It just happened. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come to lunch…”
“It’s fine. I’m sorry I rushed here.” Ramon scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat. “It’s just that there was this one time in Singapore when I got really sick. And I mean the I-can’t-get-out-of-bed-on-my-own kind of sick, and I was living alone and it was just crappy in general.”
“Oh. What happened?”
“Bad case of the flu. I couldn’t do anything for about three days. It was a good thing one of my co-workers thought to stop by. He brought me to the hospital.”
Erin nodded. Understanding Ramon’s thought process didn’t make her feel better about lying, but his concern was heartwarming, and she was grateful for it.
“I see. I’m sorry to have made you so worried. I…feel better now, though.”
“Do you keep medicine around?”
“Yes.”
“All right then.” Ramon clapped his hands once and jerked his thumb to the general direction of the door. “I guess I should go.”
She almost yelled “No!” but managed a subdued tone, thankfully. Now that Ramon was here, she felt…fine. Never mind that she still felt mortified over her actions. She was glad he came to see her, and she didn’t want him to leave. Not yet.
“You can stay for a while if you want,” Erin said. “Unless you have to be somewhere else?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I only have you on my schedule today.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Well, I planned to study my audition songs a bit more—”
“Oh, right.” She snapped her fingers. “I have a personal copy of the videos I wanted to show you yesterday. We can watch those if you want.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Twelve
Erin hit the space bar on her laptop keyboard, pausing the video they were watching. Ramon blinked at the frozen picture on the screen and turned to look at Erin, whose narrowed eyes were fixed on him. “W-what? What did I say?”
“You’re not auditioning for lead?” she asked, echoing the sentiment he mumbled to her only a few seconds ago.
Ramon felt as though he was being interrogated, and a wrong answer could land him in prison. That, or he could get stabbed, which was more probable given Erin had a fork sitting in her bowl of rice and sinigang. “W-ell…I considered it.”
“You considered…and?”
“Come on, Erin. We all know Pio Alvez is going to get lead.” If he sounded bitter saying that, it’s because he was. Pio had everything going for him. He could act and sing and dance, and his pretty face was the shiny red bow that held all that talent together. What’s more—he had a huge fan base, and that meant income for the theatre. Anyone who had eyes, ears and common sense would know he was a definite shoo-in for the lead role.
Was he only thinking about the lead role in the musical? Of course not. Because Pio was a shoo-in for the role of Erin’s leading man too, judging by the way her eyes twinkled when she described their first date earlier.
“So? Alternates exist!”
It was too late for Ramon to realize that Erin wasn’t joking. His laughter was cut short when she asked him what was so funny.
“Erin, I’m not going to get that part, okay? I’m almost 100% sure they’re not going to give it to me no matter how—”
“How do you know?”
Erin was getting upset. He knew by the way the tip of her nose slowly turned a bright shade of pink. If he failed to get his shit together, he knew her cheeks would soon turn crimson.
“Listen. I’m just not the type.”
“Who said that?”
“Every director I auditioned for?”
Ramon wasn’t exaggerating. He never got to play the roles he wanted. Even in college, he was told he was too lanky, too tall, too…everything each time he ventured to audition for something. He was praised for his talent, only to get shot down because he just wasn’t the type they were looking for.
Over time, he began comparing himself to the actors who won the roles he auditioned for. It became a bad habit every time cast lists came out and he didn’t find his name on it. And while he learned to be content working behind the scenes, somewhere along the way, he resigned himself to the fact that this was where his type belonged. Backstage. As one of the many faces in the ensemble, a shadow in the background.
“Well, they’re wrong,” she said, the conviction in her voice so strong he was almost convinced she spoke the truth. “Ramon, I know that a lot of us have to deal with a hundred ‘nos’ before we’re given a chance on that stage, but that doesn’t mean we should give up fighting for the �
�yeses.’ What you’re doing now—that’s giving up, and I’m not going to let you do that to yourself.”
Wait. He blinked at her.
“You remember the words, don’t you?” she asked, her gaze challenging. “I can see it in your eyes. You remember.”
He did. They were almost the same words he told her when she cried over her sprained ankle, convinced she wasn’t going to be able to go to her audition.
“Chin up. It’s fine to cry, but when you’re done, you mind this ankle. If you need to stay in bed a day, two days, that’s fine. But don’t stay there. Don’t give up. I’m not going to let you.”
Ramon sighed. “I can never dispute that memory of yours.”
A slow, arresting smile spread across Erin’s face, bewitching him once again. She must’ve said something he didn’t catch, because she waved her hand in front of his face, as though checking if he was still in there, somewhere.
“I’m sorry…what?”
“I said, let’s go.” She pulled her laptop screen shut, picked up her bowl, and got up from the carpet where they were both sitting.
“Go where?”
“To the mall. I’m giving you a makeover.”
“What? What for?”
She winked at him. “You’ll see.”
* * *
God, help me. She is so adorable.
Ramon still wasn’t sure what this exercise was meant to teach him, but here he was anyway, standing in the middle of a department store’s men’s clothing section, watching Erin rummage through racks and racks of clothes. Every now and then, her lips would pucker as she examined a piece of clothing. They broke into a smile when she found something she liked.
Sometimes she would look up and stare at him, and he’d end up wondering if he was supposed to say or do something in response.
He wasn’t. As it turned out, she was sizing him up.
“You have really nice shoulders, you know.” A couple of different-colored shirts were draped over Erin’s left arm when she walked up to him. Lifting a hand to his collarbone, she measured the length between his neck and shoulder.
Ramon felt a shiver down his spine. He saw a smile tug at the corners of her lips when she seemed satisfied at her measurement. But before his thoughts could wander, he felt a gentle shove to his chest.
