by Abby Blake
“Thanks,” she said, somewhat relieved that she knew at least one of her neighbors.
“I’ve got about ten days left of my vacation time so feel free to drop by. I’d be happy for the company.”
“I thought you said you had plenty of things to do at home.” She was sure she recalled him saying something like that at Maya’s collaring ceremony.
He shrugged. “Turns out they didn’t take as long as I expected. I had a list the length of my arm but it only took three days to work through it.”
“Oh,” Bianca said as she wondered if she should make a list also. So far her only real plan was to find a job. Considering her lack of skills and experience, it might be very difficult. When she’d been making these decisions, things had seemed a lot less complicated.
“Well, anyway, call me if you need anything, or maybe even just a friend to talk to. I’d be glad of the company.” He nodded as if to say good-bye and then went to turn away.
“Um, Brick,” she asked impulsively, “do you know of any jobs that I could apply for?”
She cringed at the questions that were likely to follow—What are your skills? Where did you last work? What sort of education do you have?—but instead he rubbed a finger against his chin and seemed to give her question some serious thought.
“They’re always looking for help at the nursing home where my mother is living. I doubt it pays well, but if you’re interested, I could find out what’s available.”
“That would be wonderful,” she said enthusiastically. A part of her acknowledged that she was still getting help from a man, but in this case it was only information. He wasn’t applying for the job for her.
“I was planning to visit my mom tomorrow. Would you like to come with me?”
Bianca hesitated. She’d only met this man once, but he was Derek’s best friend. It was obvious that Viper trusted him. Otherwise he wouldn’t know where she now lived. Not even Maya knew about her change of address yet.
“I’d love to come,” she finally said quietly.
He gave her a warm smile. “Is ten o’clock too early?”
“No, ten is fine,” she answered, surprised to be given a choice. It felt kind of nice to be consulted on something. But again that familiar guilt wound through her stomach. Viper had given her everything she’d needed, when she’d needed it most. It wasn’t his fault that she’d grown and changed even if it was a result of the way he’d protected her.
“Things will get easier,” Brick said, apparently easily interpreting her reaction. “I’ll see you at ten tomorrow.”
“Thank you.” Bianca glanced at the paper in her hand, pleased to see that Brick’s handwriting was very clear and the numbers easily discernible. “For everything.”
“That’s what friendship is about,” he said easily. “Make sure you lock that door.”
She nodded, swallowing the instinctive reaction to say, “yes, Sir.”
She closed the door, and then watched him on the monitor as she turned the lock. He nodded, perhaps even knowing that she could see him, and then moved out of the camera’s view.
* * * *
The next morning Bianca opened the door almost before Brick had a chance to knock.
“Ready?”
“I think so,” she said, nervously running her hands down the side of her pants. “I’ll just grab my purse.”
Brick was a little surprised to realize how much he was looking forward to visiting his mother this week. He adored the woman, but her gradual slide into dementia had taken its toll on him and his brother. Every visit took more and more emotional fortitude to get through.
At least by taking Bianca with him, the knowledge that he might be helping her to find a job would take the sting out of his mother not recognizing her own son. Her condition meant she had good days and bad, but explaining who he was and why he was there was becoming a more and more common occurrence to his visits. He would continue to visit, no matter how much it hurt, but knowing that she would eventually forget him entirely was soul destroying.
Bianca was quiet in the elevator and on the short drive there so he was a little surprised to realize she was smiling as they drove into the parking lot.
“That wasn’t very far.”
“No, I usually walk, but the forecast is for rain so I thought it best to bring the car.”
“That’s such a relief,” she said with a quiet laugh. “I used to catch a cab whenever I needed to go somewhere. I doubt that would be possible with an entry-level job.”
“You don’t drive?”
She blushed and looked away as she took a deep breath. “I lived overseas when the kids my age were doing driver’s ed, and well, when I got back home, it didn’t seem a priority.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, knowing from Viper how painful that part of her life had been. “I didn’t mean to stir up bad memories.”
She turned to face him, the sad smile on her face making him want to drag her into his embrace. He understood why Viper was having trouble letting go. There was just something about Bianca that stirred the caveman in him, but it was clear by her next words that she was determined to stand on her own two feet.
“It’s not your fault,” she said. “I have to start learning to cope with life instead of avoiding it. Maybe I’ll look into getting my driver’s license.” She offered him a happier smile. “That might even be fun.”
“You know what else might be fun?” he said with a grin. “Self-defense classes. I know I’d feel better about you walking to work if you were able to defend yourself.”
She glanced nervously out the car window, and he could have kicked himself for worrying her. Damn, with this woman he seemed destined to say all the wrong things.
“Bianca, this is a fairly safe neighborhood. The chances of you even needing self-defense skills are quite low but there’s no harm in learning them anyway.” He resisted the urge to reach over and touch her face. Where the hell were these emotions coming from? He was helping a friend, not rescuing a damsel in distress. “Cam asked me to take over the lessons at the youth center while he’s away. If nothing else, it’s good exercise.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” she said, looking a little less freaked out. She turned to look at the front door of the nursing home. “Hopefully I can get a job first. I won’t be walking anywhere if I have nowhere to go.”
“True,” Brick said, smiling perhaps just a little too enthusiastically. He really hoped he wasn’t setting her up for disappointment.
* * * *
Bianca wanted to take back her last sentence. She realized that today was only about meeting the people who worked here and finding out about any jobs that might be available, but the way it had sounded suggested she was expecting some sort of interview, or maybe an immediate start. But if she said any of that out loud, it might make the matter worse. Maybe Brick hadn’t picked up on her poorly chosen words.
“My mom is in a secured wing of the home. She suffers dementia and these days she has a tendency to wander off.”
“I’m sorry,” Bianca said, really not knowing what else to say. She only knew a little bit about the degenerative disease, but she couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard it would be to slowly lose someone she loved one memory at a time, eventually replacing them with a complete stranger.
Brick nodded, but let the comment slide. He’d probably heard that often, but in the end they were just empty words. It didn’t change anything or make the situation easier to cope with.
They signed in to the visitors’ logbook and then waited patiently for one of the attendants to let them in the locked area of the nursing home. It was quieter than what Bianca had been expecting, but that was probably more due to her own skewed perception of nursing homes from television and movies. It wasn’t really something she’d ever had to deal with in her life.
With her parents gone and Viper having grown up in foster care, elderly parents hadn’t been an issue for either of them. Of course, if it had be
en, Viper would have handled it like he had everything else. Guilt swelled through her again at the thought of leaving the man behind. He’d given his all to a relationship she’d practically thrown back in his face.
Brick must have noticed her melancholy because he stopped to look at her more closely. “Sorry, I should have introduced you to the personnel manager first. We can…” His words faded away as he turned to go back the way they’d come.
She almost let him, so used to letting Viper handle all of the details she was a little slow in reacting. “No,” she said, trying to get in his way so that he couldn’t walk them back to the reception desk. “You came to visit your mom. We’re almost there, aren’t we?”
“Yes,” he said, standing still but glancing both down the hallway where they’d been headed and back the way they’d come. Finally he stopped and turned his eyes to her. “I don’t know what sort of mood she’ll be in. Some days she remembers where she is, and some days she gets angry and yells her frustration and fear, but mostly she just mixes up people and memories. Please don’t take offense to anything she might say. Before the dementia she was a very different person.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” Bianca said, wanting to offer her emotional support but unsure how to go about it. “I’m not easily offended.”
“Okay,” he said, looking as about un-okay as a person could get. “Her room is at the end of the hallway.”
* * * *
Brick wasn’t sure what demon had possessed him to bring Bianca to meet his mother. Last time he’d visited he’d spent nearly two hours listening to conspiracy theories on why they didn’t get green jelly with marshmallows anymore.
As far as he knew, it had never even been on the menu but thanks to a lifetime love of reading spy novels his mother saw deceit and treachery everywhere. It sometimes made it very challenging for the staff to care for her. That and her tendency to wander were the main reasons for him and his brother having to place her here nearly a year ago. The progression of her disease had only gotten faster since then.
It was a question that would likely haunt him the rest of his life. If they’d been able to keep her home longer, would the worst effects of dementia have been slower in coming? Would they have been able to hold on longer to the woman who’d been their loving mother?
She was dozing in the chair near the window when they entered her room.
“We can come back later,” he said quietly, hoping that he wouldn’t disturb her sleep.
“Brick?” she asked, rousing to wakefulness almost instantly. “Is that you?”
“Yes, Mom,” he said as he stepped into the room and moved to sit in the chair beside her. Bianca held back, perhaps understanding the significance of his mother recognizing his voice. His mom gave him a startled look.
“You really need to get a divorce. You’ve aged ten years since I last saw you.”
“I’m working on it, Mom. It should be official in a few weeks.” In actuality it had been quite a few years, but telling her that would only upset her. He chose not to upset her.
“Good,” his mother said. “When your brother gets home from college we’ll go buy the biggest turkey we can find. Thanksgiving this year is going to be nice without that little whore sitting at the table.”
“Mom,” Brick said, glancing at Bianca before wondering what the hell to say. He’d had this conversation with his mother many times over the past few months. It was almost like she’d gotten stuck in a loop replaying a very painful part of his life. “Justine was just confused. She’ll be happier once we’re divorced.” In fact she had been far happier with her new husband than she’d ever been with him. Of course the fact that the man was seven years older, more established in his career, and the son of a wealthy, influential family had certainly sweetened the deal.
“Good, and now you can be happy, too. Have you found a new girlfriend yet?”
The last time he’d answered that truthfully he’d endured the next hour being lectured on how men weren’t meant to be alone and how they needed a good woman to look after them. His mother had always believed in old-fashioned ideals. Considering that he and his brother both had happy childhood memories, he really couldn’t complain about her methods.
He glanced at Bianca wondering if she’d be upset if he used her as a distraction. When his mother was lucid, he and his brother not being happily settled with families of their own seemed to be the thing that upset her the most. Bianca nodded as if she understood what he was contemplating.
“Actually, Mom,” he said, holding an arm out in the hopes that Bianca would step into the room. She gave him a shy smile and did exactly what he silently asked. “I brought someone to meet you. This is Bianca.”
“Well now, aren’t you a pretty thing,” his mother said, lifting her glasses to her face to get a better look. He wasn’t sure she’d say the same if Bianca’s tattoo was on display, but she was dressed very demurely so she looked exactly like the type of girl his mom believed would make a good wife and mother. Not that he intended to take the charade that far. Hopefully just the distraction of meeting someone new would derail his mother’s lecture.
He was glad for these semi-lucid days he could spend with her, but there were only so many times he could be reminded that he’d been a failure as a husband.
Surprisingly, Bianca and his mother had quite a pleasant conversation. Of course Bianca mostly listened—even before dementia had gripped her, his mother had been able to dominate any conversation.
“You should marry this one,” his mother said in what he assumed was meant to be a quiet voice. He gave Bianca an apologetic look, but she just smiled in return. They stayed for another hour, his mother reminiscing about things he and Corey had gotten up to as kids, but then, almost as if a switch had been flipped, his mother stopped speaking mid-sentence and asked who he was. He tried to hide how badly it affected him, but staying now would only upset his mother.
“It was lovely meeting you, Mrs. Darnell,” Bianca said as she got up from her chair. She glanced at Brick, obviously giving him the choice to stay if he wished, but he quickly followed her lead. He hated this part of his mother’s condition. When she was lucid—even if she was remembering a decade into the past—he didn’t want to leave, but when things changed and she didn’t know who he was any longer, he had no idea how to leave politely. It always left him feeling gutted.
“Oh, of course,” his mother said, turning back to look at Bianca again. “You’re a pretty one. Maybe next time I can introduce you to one of my sons.”
“That would be lovely,” Bianca said with a soft smile in his direction. “They sound like wonderful men.”
“Oh they are,” his mother said proudly.
Bianca reached over, gently squeezed his mother’s hand, and then left the room. Brick followed, not bothering to say good-bye, knowing from horrible experience that his mother would only get upset if he tried to speak to her now.
“Thank you,” he said as they walked back the way they had come.
“I’m sorry if I got in the way.”
“No, not at all. You were wonderful with her. For a little while there it was like I had her back.” He smiled and had the most ridiculous urge to pull Bianca into his embrace. It was unlikely she would understand how much having her there had helped him to cope. “Most of what she was talking about happened seven or eight years ago, but at least she sounded like herself today.”
“She doesn’t always remember you?” Bianca asked as they reached the security door.
“Only about half the time,” he said, trying to rein in the emotions that fact stirred.
She walked beside him in silence, perhaps sensing his need not to talk or maybe just falling into the habits of being Viper’s submissive. Perversely he wanted to push her out of that instinct, though at that moment he couldn’t have explained why.
“How long were you with Viper?”
She looked surprised by the quick change in topic but answered honestly.<
br />
“It would have been eleven years next month.”
“That’s a long time to live such a different lifestyle. Were you ever happy?”
“For the most part,” she said, looking at the ground as if falling back into her submissive personality. He reached over and lifted her chin up so that he could see her eyes.
“So why did you leave?” When she hesitated, he suddenly realized how personal the topic truly was. “I’m sorry,” he said, snatching his hand away from her jaw. “That was rude. It’s none of my business.”
“Actually,” she said in a slightly shaky voice, “considering that Viper likely told you most of what was going on, it’s probably right for you to know.”
He didn’t deny the conversations he’d had with Viper in the past couple days. Turning up on her doorstep unannounced when she hadn’t told anyone where she was moving to was a pretty big hint. He was actually glad that Viper had called him. He might not know either of them very well, but he didn’t mind helping friends when they needed it.
It was clear that Viper was very much in love with Bianca. Brick suspected the feelings were returned, so it was Bianca’s reason for leaving that had him concerned.
“When Viper found me, I was a mess. I was struggling to cope in the aftermath of losing my family, and well Viper sort of took over, gave me something else to focus on, gave me a reason to keep living.” She looked up at Brick voluntarily this time. “I was happy for a long time, even before our Dom-sub relationship became sexual. Being Viper’s sub filled a hole in my life.” She glanced around, perhaps worried that someone might overhear her words. “But in the last few years I’ve watched the people around me move forward with their lives—building their careers, making commitments, starting families—and well I’ve just sort of been standing still. So has Viper.” She sighed quietly, her eyes filling with tears before she quickly blinked them away. “It’s not fair to hold him back from the life he should be living. Maybe if I can prove to him that he doesn’t need to worry about me anymore, then he’ll find himself a woman like Maya or maybe Emma, someone capable of being both submissive and independent.”
