by Anne Conley
Instinctually, she shook her head, and the hurt in Michael’s face was clear. “I’m sorry, that was habit. I guess I’ve never really told anybody about Eli…Not everything.” She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly.
“After the group home let me go, I immediately went into the local community college and got an associate’s degree in Criminal Justice. My parents were killed in a mugging gone wrong when I was twelve.” She snorted at the idea a mugging could possibly go right.
“I had this misplaced sense of justice, that if I became a police officer, I could right all the wrongs of the world.” She hugged her knees to her chest and focused on the Abby across the valley as she talked. “Like Batman.” If she focused on something so unreal, maybe the story itself wouldn’t seem so real to her.
“I met Eli my first year working at the dispatch desk when I was twenty-one. He was handsome and charming and pursued me until I agreed to go out with him. I was eager for someone to love me, and he did. He loved me with everything he had. He understood my need for structure and control of my situations after the death of my parents, and while we dated, we talked about my need for balance. He helped me discover the hidden desire I had to give up control of some aspects of my life. So we tried the BDSM thing, and I discovered I loved submitting to him, under strictly controlled scenarios, where Eli was in total domination. I trusted him implicitly, and it was wonderful. I discovered things about myself I’d never known.” She could tell by Michael’s posture he wasn’t really enjoying the path she’d taken with her storytelling, but she couldn’t stop now. She never thought she’d find anyone else she would trust this much, and she knew no matter how hard she searched, she’d never find another person who understood her so completely.
“We got married about a year after we started dating, and when he felt this urgent need to enlist, he couldn’t explain it to me. Nothing he could do would make it alright with me, there was absolutely no given in the situation, it was all unknowns, and I hated it. He promised he’d come back.” She felt a tear track down her cheek and wiped at it absently. “He made friends over there, and I felt left out. Back home, I didn’t have anybody, nothing but work to keep me occupied. When I got the news he’d been killed, I didn’t immediately understand what had happened. Then a letter came from his buddy over there, explaining how sorry he was, that Eli’s head had just appeared after he’d pulled the trigger, and no matter how many words he used, he couldn’t explain what had happened. I knew I had lost everything I’d ever held dear.”
She turned her gaze to Michael, who wasn’t looking at her. He was focused on the grass between his legs, pulling at blades, folding them, and tearing them in two before finding another blade to torture.
“And then you come along, pawing at me, calling me yours, and I reacted, just like any normal woman would in that situation.” She watched as he smiled at the memory. “And when you told me who, or what you were, my first reaction was disbelief, but I thought about it, with everything else that I’d seen you do…” She realized she was rambling now, but was helpless to stop. “… and realized you were telling the truth. If you were telling the truth, you’d failed miserably at your job, and I hated you for letting him die.” She saw him grimace. “But I guess you knew that.” She reached for his hand, letting it entwine with hers.
“But I couldn’t stop the emotions, either. They completely blindsided me.”
Michael tugged on her hand, pulling Faith into his lap, nuzzling her neck. She willingly snuggled against him, looking out over the valley again. They sat like that in silence for a long while, letting the serenity of the setting seep into their bones.
Finally, Michael broke the silence. “He said we’ve been taking on human attributes. For Uri it was apathy, for Gabriel it was impatience, for Rafael it was need. For me…it was anger. I held a lot of anger, most of it at the ones I was created to protect. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know of Eli until I met you. I wasn’t meant to protect him Faith, and I understand why. But if I’d understood what I understand now, I would have protected him. I would have sent him home to you to save you the pain of losing him.”
“Was it true? What the Deceiver said about Eli having to die so you could have me? Do I have no say in this?”
The look on Michael’s face broke her heart. “It’s true that He chose for Eli to die so you would be mine. But you do have a say in the matter. The Father created free will for a reason. You can always choose not to…be with me.”
“Where was Eli’s free will?”
“He didn’t have to enlist.”
“Then he would have died in a horrific car crash or something.”
“He didn’t have to choose you, then. Because you’re mine.” The flash was back in Michael’s eyes, and as much as she hated to, she felt a thrill.
She wanted to go, be alone to think. But she now had nowhere to go. Her cabin was defiled by the Deceiver’s presence, the mark she knew he’d left there. She still couldn’t go home to her apartment, she was probably still wanted by the police for the Howells’ murder. She had nowhere.
“I need to be alone, Michael. I don’t know what to do.” Exhausted defeat seeped into her bones.
He nodded his understanding and stood, enveloping her once again in his embrace before lifting off and soaring up into the sky.
Chapter S eventeen
Michael left her in the lobby of a nice hotel in Rome, where a room awaited her in her name, paid for, without her having to show ID. With only her sweat suit to her name, she followed the attendant to her lavish room where there was a closet full of clothes her size. She didn’t understand how but knew it was Michael’s doing. All of it. And she was grateful.
The first thing she did was sink into a hot bubble bath and wash the day’s memories off her skin. Her skin, no longer marred by the horrific cat of nine tails, was smooth and unblemished. Once she was clean and her muscles were somewhat relaxed, she ordered room service, a hamburger and French fries. It was lame, she knew, being in Rome and ordering something so mundane, but Faith needed something familiar and comfortable. After the day she’d had, she didn’t want to try anything the least bit new.
After stuffing herself with food, she slipped under the covers of her bed and closed her eyes. As she drifted off, she prayed to a God she hadn’t prayed to in years. Not since before Eli. She said the ritualistic prayer she’d recited hundreds of times in her adolescence, but hadn’t put any meaning to. This time, as she spoke the words in her head, the meaning behind them became clear. … Pray for us sinners, now and in the hour of our death…
She knew Michael was near, somewhere. He was her protector and would probably be with her the rest of her life, whether she wanted him or not. She thought of Eli and what he meant to her, what Michael had said about him. In bed, trying desperately to grasp at tendrils of sleep, she forced herself to think about every good memory of Eli she had. One in particular seemed to rise to the surface.
They were lying in bed after a fantastic round of lovemaking. She was snuggled in Eli’s arms, tracing the lines around his tattoo, a snake on his bicep.
“You’ve never told me about this.” She felt him shrug nonchalantly as he kissed the back of her neck.
“Do you ever get the feeling we’re not meant to understand?” His deep voice laden with sleep and the remnants of desire vibrated through her body.
“Tattoos? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Don’t be cryptic.”
His chuckle shook the bed. Eli wasn’t a big guy, but he surrounded her, not only physically, but his aura seemed to envelope her as well. “Not the tattoo. I honestly don’t know why I got it. I just did. But it reminds me that I don’t understand everything that happens. I felt a pull towards this, and I had to get it.”
She snuggled deeper into his embrace and listened to him talk, his deep voice rumbling through her. “Sometimes I feel like my place here is so fleeting, I need to do all I can while I’m here. I don’t understand everything
, but sometimes I feel like I have a bigger purpose here, something I’m supposed to do. But I don’t know what it is. Like this tattoo. I know I was supposed to get it, but I don’t know why. I just sat down at the tattoo counter and drew it. I’ve looked for the image and can’t find it anywhere.”
A chill of unease passed through Faith, but she shook it off, choosing to turn around and climb on top of Eli, straddling him and kissing him thoroughly. As she felt him come to life between her legs, she whispered, “I think it’s sexy, and I know what I’m supposed to do. The only thing that feels right to me is loving you, Eli. And I will love you forever.”
He growled at her in response, as he rolled on top of her and the interlude was over, surpassed by tender lovemaking that lasted all night long.
Faith knew her decision had been made for her long before she even met Eli and fell in love with him, and knowing that it was all out of her control somehow eased her mind. She fell into a deep sleep filled with dreams of Michael and Eli, cementing her resolution.
Chapter Eighteen
A week later, Faith was about to crawl out of her skin. She’d been walking all over and seen some beautiful things, but she wanted to share what she was seeing with someone, and the nights were lonely. She missed Michael.
Faith was used to being alone, but before dropping her in Rome and leaving, Michael had been a constant companion to Faith, even when not directly in her presence. She knew he’d been in the woods, watching her.
Now she felt his absence. Her loneliness was a constant companion, and it was unwelcome. She wanted to see those silver fucking eyes crinkling at her in some unknown amusement, even if it was at her own expense.
She wanted to feel his arms wrapped around her in his comforting embrace.
Faith hadn’t felt the hum since he’d left her here, and its absence made her feel naked, exposed. She felt like she’d lost an arm or something without the humming vibrating through her bones.
He had made such a big deal out of protecting her, and then he’d left her here. In a foreign country. Alone. She had to admit, it pissed her off, and if she ever saw him again, she would let him know. But she honestly wasn’t sure if she would see him again. And that thought terrified her. The idea that she would be alone forever, stuck with memories of the men she loved.
She wanted Michael, not memories of Eli.
Michael had somehow scaled her defenses, crawled under her skin and seeped into her blood. Now he was pulsing through her veins, even in his absence. She could feel him with every heartbeat.
Faith was working the crossword puzzle of the complimentary USA Today she’d requested from the front desk when the faint humming she attributed to Michael jolted her. Tiny pinpricks of anticipation filled her belly as he finally came sauntering into her room, seven days to the minute after he’d left her in the lobby.
“Where the hell have you been?” Tossing down the puzzle angrily, she stood, her hands on her hips.
“Lovely to see you again, too.” Ignoring her outburst, he sunk into the chair opposite the one she’d been sitting in.
“You can’t just leave a woman in a foreign country with nothing, Michael. I don’t have identification, money, nor do I speak Italian. I’ve been lost for a week, and you haven’t even come back to check on me.”
His mouth quirked up in a smirk, and she wanted nothing more but to throw herself on his lap, but she was having too much fun being mad at him.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all.” He spread his hands wide in a gesture of complacency, and Faith couldn’t handle anymore. She stepped between his knees and slapped him across his cheek. His eyes flashed dangerously, and she felt her core clench with need.
“You left me, Michael. After everything that happened, after all that heart pouring that we did at Sacra San Michele, you left me.” He smiled broadly when she slapped him again, this time harder, across the other cheek.
“You didn’t use the credit I extended you in the gift shop?”
“Yeah, both the trashy romances they had were decent. But I finished them days ago. I’ve been working my way through all the fashion magazines, and I hate fashion magazines.” She knew she sounded churlish and stupid, but she wanted to fight with him. Fighting with Michael was fun, and she’d missed it.
Michael saw the twinkle in her eye, and he knew she was trying to rile him up. A weight lifted from his shoulders, and he could only name it relief. He’d been scared leaving her here alone for a week. Scared she would tuck herself in with her memories of Eli and find Michael lacking. It was an unheard of feeling for Michael, this self-doubt. He’d never in his long life believed he could ever be subpar to anything, but memories of a dead man had scared the hell out of him.
When he’d walked in to see the fire in Faith’s eyes as she stood and threw her newspaper on the coffee table, he’d simultaneously wanted to throw himself at her feet in abject apology and sweep her into his arms and take her to bed. But he did neither. He played along.
Crossing his arms over his chest, he threw her a bored look. “Did you learn anything?”
She looked like she wanted to slap him again, and he almost leaned forward, eager for the contact. But she didn’t, and a flicker of disappointment stabbed his gut. Instead she took a step backward, confusion on her face.
“From the fashion magazines, the romance novels, or from being trapped inside my head for a week?”
He shrugged. “Any of it.” God, he wanted her. She was too far away. He wanted to feel her against his body, wrapped around him. He wanted to breathe in her scent, taste her skin.
And he wanted her to tell him she would stay with him. He needed to hear the words.
She collapsed on the coffee table, as if her knees had given out. Looking exhausted, hands between her knees, she looked at him. “I learned that I missed you, dammit.”
He stood and walked away, trying to keep her surprised. Based on the sound of disgust that came from her, he’d succeeded.
“Miss me?” He looked at the breathtaking view out the window, feigning interest in the panoramic vista. “Or were you just bored and looking for something to do?”
He heard rustling behind him and found it surprisingly difficult to not turn and watch her, to keep up this façade of indifference. He heard the padding of bare feet on the soft carpet, then another rustle. When he finally turned to see what she was up to, his heart swelled with happiness.
She was naked and prostrate on the ground, kneeling and leaning her forehead to the ground in a perfect posture of submission. He stalked around her, looking at the view from all sides. He stopped at her backside, looking at her glistening folds, framed by the perfect round globes of flesh of her rear, sticking up in the air.
“Tell me what you’re thinking, Faith. Don’t think about your answer.”
“You’re sexy when you brood,” came her reply, muffled by the carpet.
He chuckled, the sound rising from him unwittingly. “Well, you’re sexy when you breathe, but what are you doing here? What does this mean?”
He watched her shoulders heave in a deep breath, and she replied, “It means I’m yours, Michael. I have chosen to be with you.” The tears in her voice choked her emotional reply, and Michael felt himself swallow thickly past a lump of emotion in his own throat.
He didn’t answer, instead scooping her off the ground and carrying her to the bedroom, where he gently laid her on the bed before standing back and removing his clothes. As he shed his own layers, he watched her carefully.
The desire had darkened the crystalline blue depths of her eyes to a deep navy color, pools he could dive into. She licked her lips as he exposed more of his naked body to her. When he was completely unclothed, he stood there and stared at her, her eyes glued to the tattoo on his bicep.
They stared at each other for what seemed like ages, the tension between them building to impossible heights. Finally, he broke the silence.
“Speak. Tell me.”
She s
wallowed as a tear tracked down her cheek. “He knew.”
“Go on.”
“He had that same tattoo. Eli did. Of course, it didn’t come to life and turn into weapons, but something made him get that same snake tattooed on his arm long before he ever even met me. He knew something would happen to him.” Her voice was quiet and laden with a mixture of remorse, grief, and acceptance. She ended with a sigh and wiped the tear from her cheek. “He knew I wasn’t his. It just took me some time to realize it too. He was getting me prepared for you.” Her lashes dropped, and he saw her eyes shutter when she put the memory away. When she looked back up at him, they were filled with joy and love, and his own heart exalted.
“I’m not in competition with a ghost anymore?”
She smiled at him, and her face lit up mischievously. “I’ll still remember him Michael. You can’t make me forget him.” Her smile turned to a smirk and he prepared himself for the barb she was about to throw. “Sex with Eli was fantastic. I’ll never forget it.”
Ouch. Even knowing she was joking, the attack on his manhood was brutal.
His voice was a growl as he advanced on her. “You’ve just given me something to prove…”
Bending over and reaching into the back pocket of his discarded jeans, Michael pulled out a handkerchief and used it to blindfold Faith, immersing her in vagueness. It didn’t block out the light completely, but he was confident she still couldn’t see anything. Waving his hands in front of her face, he was satisfied by her lack of reaction, besides the increase of the pulse in her neck and the sudden raspiness of her gasping breaths.
Yeah, he was going to spend all fucking afternoon making her forget Eli and proving he was the best lover she’d ever had. If it killed him, he’d die a happy man.
After she was blindfolded, he pillaged her hotel room in search of things to use on her.
