by Mia Ford
Chapter Thirteen
Lexi
The music thumps so loudly it rocks through my body, the drink is bitter, I’m not enjoying the spice of drinking it at all. The lights flicker, infecting my vision, making me blink a whole load of times. I don’t feel right. I’m with a group of people that I know from the waitressing job I used to have, so I should fit right in… but I don’t. When Tammy, who I used to work with, called me up for a night of fun because she and the other girls miss me, I jumped on the chance… only now, I don’t feel right here. I feel as if I don’t belong.
As they all laugh and jump around on the dance floor, having the time of their lives, giddy and carefree, there’s a chasm of difference between us. This all feels pointless and annoying to me, it’s like the moment Jane got taken into the hospital, I have outgrown this lifestyle.
I sigh and suck back my drink, desperate for a bit of a buzz. This is supposed to be a night for me to blow off some steam, which I should need after everything that I have been through, but it’s more of a chore than fun.
“Come on, let’s dance Lexi!” Tammy screams while waving her hands wildly at me. “Join us.”
I hold my glass high and make the sign for one minute, not that I intend to join them. I will only bring their energy down and make them miserable as well… either that, or I will be unable to have fun and it will just be awkward for me. Neither way is good for me, and I’m not in the mood for it.
What is wrong with me? I ask myself angrily. Why am I not like everyone else?
The problem is, my life is different. It’s been different for a very long time. Ever since my mom got sick, I haven’t been the same as everyone else. I haven’t usually let that bother me, but tonight it does. I guess that’s because before, I would always have Jane with me, someone to complain to, and now it’s difficult with her situation. While I can talk to her about things, it isn’t the same. I need to be careful because she’s sick.
All night it has been obvious, all night it’s been a big part of me. The knowledge that while they are chatting, being carefree and fun, I have blended into the background. I haven’t had anything to say, because I don’t have the same lives as them. I don’t have the fun and freedom, and I don’t even work with them now, so I don’t even have anything to say in that department. I can’t complain along with them.
All of a sudden, unexpected tears well up behind my eyes, as a strong sense of loneliness overcomes me. I really do feel like I’m completely alone. No one can understand what I’m going through, at work, with Isaac, or with Jane. Plus, the knowledge that I might end up with nothing soon, no anchor, is too much.
No, don’t think like that, I scold myself. The treatment will begin soon. Jane will be fine.
I hastily wipe the tears away from my eyes and head to the bar. I need another drink, even if I’m not enjoying it. I need something to burn, and take this pain away. To stop this boredom as well. There needs to be something that I can do to enjoy myself, to make this a little better, before I give up and leave.
I get in line at the bar and stand behind a man taller than me with longer black hair, the sort that I would usually like. I watch him for a moment, until he must sense my eyes upon him, and he spins around.
“Hey.” His eyes light up, he looks pleased to see me… not that I know him. “I like your outfit.”
I glance down at my rockabilly dress and smile. “Thank you very much, I like it too!”
“You’re the first cool girl that I have seen here all night. I think that me and you should hang out.”
He has piercings, a band tee shirt on, a real ‘I’m with the band’ look, which I would normally love. I do like it, it looks really cool on him. It’s a bit like the way that all of my exes look, but I’m indifferent. I don’t know why. There isn’t a glimpse of excitement in me at all.
“Thanks, yeah, maybe we should,” I reply a little distractedly. “I do have my friends here.”
“Yeah, my friends are here too, but I would much rather hang out with you.”
I don’t know what is wrong with me. I plaster a smile on my face but it’s fake. In this moment, all that I can think about is Isaac. Sure, there are no promises between us, it’s definitely not a ‘thing’, it’s more of a business arrangement, but even talking to this man feels a little wrong.
Do I have feelings for Isaac, my boss? I grip my hands around my stomach. Do I really feel something for him?
That’s seriously dangerous. Feeling anything for that man is a risk. I never ever thought when I went into this situation, that there was the slightest chance that I would end up catching feelings… but I might be there. Shit, that’s seriously problematic. I’m going to end up a freaking mess if that happens. I don’t want heart break, I’m not in the right frame of mind for it. I don’t know if I can take that with everything else that’s going on.
“So, do you want a drink?” my new unwelcome friend asks me. “I can buy one for you…”
I glance in his eyes, wondering if I should cleanse my pallet a bit, have a chat with a man who isn’t Isaac, to prove to myself that I’m not too attached to him, but honestly, it isn’t worth it. I don’t want any of it. I certainly don’t want to lead this man on, when it definitely isn’t going to go anywhere.
“Actually, do you know what, I think I need to get going. I have somewhere to be.”
His eyes grow wide, he looks shocked as hell. Like my rejection of him comes as a massive surprise. I don’t like that, I’m allowed to reject him if I want to. He doesn’t control me, I don’t even know him. If I don’t have any promises when it comes to Isaac, then I certainly don’t have any promises to some guy I don’t know the name of. I barely even listen to him as he replies to me, my brain is already somewhere else.
“Oh, but… I thought that we were getting somewhere here…”
I roll my eyes. I wasn’t going to end up in bed with this guy if he bought me a drink. What did he expect? Not a chance in hell. I shake my head and completely ignore him, turning to leave. I glance at my friends who are still on the dance floor, wondering if I should bother saying goodbye, but they look like they’re having the best time so there’s no point in bothering them with this. I will just call Tammy tomorrow and tell her that I felt sick, so I had to get out. She will understand, I’m sure. And if she doesn’t, then she just won’t ask me out again, which is a shame but it’s fine with me. I haven’t enjoyed it anyway.
I grab my bag and head towards the exit, a weight lifting off my shoulders as I go. As soon as I head out into the fresh air, I breathe in deep, and smile to myself. The night club life is not for me, not anymore. I might be young, that might be what is considered fun, but I’m over it. I have better things to do. I’m different, my life is my own, and I am going to live it in the best way that I can. And right now, there is only one place I want to be.
I flag down a cab and immediately read off the address of the hospital. I would much rather be with Jane than in any night club. I would love to be by her side, talking with her, and forgetting everything else. I know that visiting hours are over, but if I get the right nurse, they might just let me in anyway. Sometimes, they do.
I lean my head back and allow my eyes to fall closed as we drive, blocking out the whole night. It was okay to see my friends, but I don’t think they’re my friends anymore. We’re too far apart. That doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a bad thing. It’s just changed, that’s all. I can cope with the change.
The driver wakes me up as we arrive at the hospital, which is a very embarrassing moment for me. But the sleep has done me good, it’s sobered me up. Not that I was drunk by any means, I am ready to see my sister. I pay the driver and head inside to the hospital, glad when I see one of the nurses that I know. She will let me inside.
She does, she takes me to Jane’s room, and I’m surprised to find my sister awake.
“Hey, Jane, are you okay?” I ask her, shocked. “What are you doing being awake so late?”
/> “What are you doing here? I thought that you were out with the girls tonight.”
I roll my eyes and take my seat beside her. “It was lame. I didn’t enjoy it at all.”
“Oh no, why not?” Jane looks really concerned for me, like my issues are more important than hers.
“It was just boring. The club was dull, the drinks were expensive and the people were…”
Jane narrows her eyes at me, trying to read the truth behind my gaze. I need to hide it inside because if I tell her that I didn’t fit in, that my life is too different, she will blame herself. I don’t want that to happen.
“Anyway, what’s going on with you, Jane? Are you okay?”
“I got the date of my treatment today. I guess I’m just thinking about it.”
“When does it start?” I gasp, happy and scared. “Oh wow, this is good news, right?”
“Yeah, I guess so. I’m just a little nervous, that’s all. It’s going to be a big change.”
I hold her hand and lean my head against her. “I will be here for you, Jane, you know that, don’t you?”
She nods, but remains silent, still lost in her own worry. I’m so glad that I didn’t have a good night and that I came here to be with Jane, I can tell that she needs me right now. She won’t ask for me, she’s too proud for that, but she needs me all the same. I climb into the bed with her, intending to stay here tonight. It won’t be the first time, and I hope that it won’t be the last.
“We can do this, Jane. Me and you. We can. We’re strong.”
“Kick ass,” she laughs thickly through her emotion. “Both of us. Especially you.”
I don’t think it’s me who’s the strongest, but I don’t have the strength to argue so I will just take that in. Kick ass, I can be kick ass. As much as I need to be. I have been kick ass recently, and I can carry that on. For Jane, and myself.
Chapter Fourteen
Isaac
“What now, Charlie?” I ask with a doubtful sigh as he calls me into yet another meeting. I’m suspicious as hell, this can’t be good since Lexi is still working with me. “Am I about to lose my job here?”
“Actually, no, that isn’t the case at all.” He shakes his head. “He wants to send you on a business trip.”
“A business trip? He never sends me on business trips. He likes to do it himself.”
“I know, but he wants to show his trust in you. He wants you to see that he has faith in you. You have been improving so much recently and he wants to show that he’s proud of you. This meeting is more of a formality, if I’m honest with you, your father has laid the groundwork, you just need to get the paperwork signed, but this is a step in the right direction. If this goes as well as can be expected, then he will give you more.”
This is huge actually, and it isn’t something that I ever would have wanted before. I never wanted to get deeper into this business, but now I like that I have been asked to do this. It shows how well I’m doing. I didn’t ever expect to feel pride in this company and what I’m doing, it was always more of a burden than anything else, but now my mind is opening, and I don’t know what the future holds for me.
“Okay, I can do that. I can be a part of this business trip. I just need to get the paperwork signed, right?”
That doesn’t sound too bad, and if it will impress my father, even better. If I can make him feel proud of me, then there’s a chance that he will let Lexi stay here. He will see that she’s helping me improve and he’ll allow her to keep this job. I really don’t want to have to deal with that nightmare again.
“That’s it. Exactly. It won’t be hard, but it will make a massive difference if you make it work.”
I lean back in my chair and try to picture the future in my mind. The future where I remain here, giving up the side of me that wants to do something on my own, and becoming the man that my father really wants me to be. With Lexi working with me and making it pleasant to be here, I don’t mind staying.
“I will make it work, you don’t need to worry about that. When do I need to go?”
“I have the tickets for you already. You leave later today.”
“Oh right.” My eyes open wide. “That soon? Okay, fair enough. I can go now. Do I need anything?”
“It isn’t a long flight. You will be there and back in a day. You don’t need anything. Just you.”
I rise into a standing position and straighten my tie, nodding to myself. I’m determined to make this work.
I sit across in another conference room table in another office in another state, smiling at the older woman in front of me. I have the paperwork sitting on the table, waiting for her to sign it, but she’s running her eyes up and down me as if she’s sizing me up. I guess if she was expecting my father, this must be a surprise.
“Thank you for meeting with me, I really appreciate it,” I say again. “I’m happy to get this deal done.”
“The deal isn’t done yet,” she says, shocking me. “There is something else that needs to happen first.”
“Oh.” My blood runs cold. I don’t know if I can handle more. I’m usually good at being charming, and talking my way out of anything, but I wasn’t expecting to deal with anything else today. “I see. What’s that?”
She leans across the table with a twisted smile in her face, and all of a sudden, I get a chill. This is why she wanted everyone else out of the room. She wants something else to happen between us.
“I want me and you to connect in another way.” She winks at me. “If you know, what I mean?”
Of course I knows what she means, I’m not an idiot, and it disgusts me. She wants me to fuck her for the deal to go through… what is that about? Although… isn’t that a bit of what I did to Lexi? I told her that I would pay her double the salary, knowing that she desperately needed the job and the cash, if she was willing to perform sexual favors. I don’t know if I thought that I would go through with it at the time, but I have, so I am no better.
Fuck, I really am no better. I feel like shit about myself. In that interview, Lexi must have felt a bit like I do right now. She only agreed because she needs the money for some reason, and I would only agree to make this deal go through because I want my father to be proud of me for making this work.
Although what if this is a trap set by him? He could be getting this woman to hit on me to see if I really have changed? But he also might kick my ass for fucking up a deal that’s supposed to be done. I really don’t know what the hell is going on here, and I don’t like it one bit. I stare at this woman, wondering what she expects me to say. Does she really want me to lie her across the desk and fuck her? Is that for real?
“Are… are you serious?” I gasp out in the end. “This is a joke, isn’t it? You are kidding?”
She leans back in her chair and smirks at me. “Do I look like I’m kidding to you?”
I actually consider it. I don’t see that I really have any other choice, I need to think about it. For the sake of the company and my future, but I really don’t want to. I don’t feel like I can degrade myself like that for my father’s approval. Plus, now I feel utterly dreadful for what I’ve done to Lexi and I can’t really focus on anything else. Even if this means that the deal doesn’t go through, I need to get the hell out of here.
“I can’t agree to that,” I tell her with a shake to the head. “I’m sorry, I’m just here for the deal.”
“You are Isaac, aren’t you? Because I have heard that you’re wild. I might not be the sort of woman that you normally go for, but I can assure you that you will have a good time with me.”
“That isn’t it, I just don’t want to do business that way…”
“Do you have a wife? A girlfriend? There has to be some reason why you’re saying no.”
Instantly, Lexi comes to my mind, even though she isn’t any of those things. Not even close, which is a shame, because we have such a powerful sexual chemistry, and I like her as a person as well. Maybe if I had allowed things to happen n
aturally, then we could be in a good place now, but I had to be an idiot, didn’t I? I had to mess around and try to get a rise out of her, for my own satisfaction.
“Judging by the look on your face, it seems like you don’t have a girlfriend,” she continues. “So, I don’t see what the issue is. Even if you have something a little complicated, nothing is set in stone.”
“It doesn’t have anything to do with whether I have a girlfriend or not. This isn’t how I do business.”
She leans forwards, the tips of her ears going red as she grows angry and probably embarrassed too. I spot a vein in the middle of her forehead, popping furiously. “I will tell your father about this.”
“You will tell him that I didn’t want to sleep with you for a deal? He might be happy about that…”
“I know how much you want to impress him, it’s written all over your face, and I will tell him that you fucked up here. He barely trusts you, am I right about that? It’s why he did most of the work before you arrived. Plus, it’s no secret that he isn’t a fan of your behavior. It doesn’t matter what I tell him. I can make anything up and he will believe me. He’ll certainly pick my story over yours.”
“This is blackmail. Do you see that? You don’t really want our meeting to go that way, do you?”
She smirks not looking bothered at all. She is ruthless! “It’s up to you to decide how this will go.”
I hate being torn, I despise the fact that I’m even considering this, but I don’t have a choice. I need to think about my future and where it will lead. I need to worry about what will happen to Lexi if this deal falls through. This was supposed to be my ace card, the moment that I had something to defend Lexi’s position, but at this rate, I will have nothing at all, and she will lose her job. Whatever mysterious reason she needs it for will be gone.
