by Mia Ford
God, I didn’t think that it was possible to like her more than I already do… but I do.
I try to push that down while we work, so I can just focus on the task at hand, because this really does need to get done, but it’s so difficult. Little sweet moments that we have shared keep popping into my mind. Us kissing, making love, and laughing together. Unfortunately, Lexi is so clearly distracted that she isn’t thinking in the same way. Her head is in a different place.
“Do you need to go?” I ask her curiously. “Because we are about done here.”
“Oh no, not yet.” She checks her watch though. “I’m okay. I’m here until the end because I want to get this done.”
Her face falls, and it aches in my chest that she isn’t opening up to me. I so want her to, it nearly makes me want to push her, but I can’t. I have to try and be patient, allow her to open up to me when she wants to. I have to allow her to be ready. It sucks, but it’s the best thing for both of us.
Then the tense moment is shattered by the sound of her stomach growling so loudly I can’t help but laugh.
“Sorry.” Her cheeks stain red. “I guess I was a bit distracted today, I forgot to eat lunch.”
“Let me order some dinner. I’m sure we both need it.” I grab my phone. “What do you like?”
“But… don’t we need to get all of this done first? I can just get something later?”
“No, no, it will take a little bit to get here anyway, so we can finish up then. It’ll be fine.”
She looks like she might protest for a moment, but finally, she nods. “I like Japanese or Mexican food.”
I smile and put in the order, watching her out from the corner of my eye as she continues to work. She is diligent and sweet. I want to hold her close to my chest and make her feel so much better. She catches me looking at her and grins, which warms up my heart. At least I’m managing to make her feel better for now. It might not be a lot, but it’s better than nothing.
We sit on the floor in the office, like it’s a picnic rather than a work dinner. Admittedly, I haven’t eaten in the office many times before, because there aren’t many times that I’ve been here for long enough, but I’m sure it shouldn’t be like this. But just being with Lexi, everything feels absolutely perfect.
“Wow, I was hungrier than I thought,” she giggles. “Looking at it, I’m starving.”
“Well, I’m glad that I got a lot then. I’m starving myself as well. We’ll be fighting over it in a moment.”
I even have wine here, so I pour us both a glass. Thankfully, Lexi sees that we deserve it, because we’re here so late. She takes it gratefully and clinks her glass against mine before taking a sip.
“Well, we did a kick ass job today, didn’t we? Got it all sent off. Hopefully, it’s okay.”
“Oh, it will be. Trust me. It’ll be fine. What we did was great.”
She nods slowly, before digging in. We eat in silence for a few moments, both of us too hungry to speak. Its been a long day for both of us, so this minute of quietness is lovely. A sense of calm overcomes us both, which I didn’t think that I would see today. Only Lexi can bring that out in me.
“You’re good at this,” she surprises me by saying aloud. “This marketing thing, I mean.”
“Well, I would hope so. Since I’m a manager here.” I laugh. “It would suck if I wasn’t.”
“But your heart isn’t in it? Is it?” She cocks her head to one side. “You want something else.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “I haven’t told you that, have I? I don’t tell anyone that.”
“No, but I can see it in your eyes. You’re good at it, but you don’t love it.”
I need to turn the tables around, so the focus isn’t all on me. “You’re a good PA, but it isn’t your dream.”
“No, but I need a job and I don’t have the resources that you do for more. You could do whatever you wanted. So, I’m wondering why you stay here. Is it just to please your father?”
I shrug, suddenly uncomfortable. “It’s what my father has always wanted for me.”
“But he isn’t the one living your life, is he? You are. So, you should do what makes you happy. Life is short, you shouldn’t spend it doing what other people want of you. It isn’t fair.”
I shuffle, a little uncomfortable with how accurate this is. It’s like Lexi can see through me in ways that scare me. “Don’t you do things that your parents expect of you? It isn’t always easy.”
“I don’t have a father,” she stuns me by saying in a blunt and honest way. “Well, I suppose I must have a father, I wouldn’t be here otherwise, but he hasn’t ever been around. And my mother…” She sucks in deep. “She died years ago. So, no. I don’t have any expectations weighing on my shoulders.”
Shit. I feel awful instantly. This is why I should be a lot more careful with what I say. What an idiot. There are some topics that are just off limits, like this. My heart goes out to Lexi, I want to be able to make things better, but since I’m not completely sure where we stand, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what Lexi wants me to do either, it’s really hard to make things right for her.
“So…?” She smiles brightly, blowing passed that conversation quickly before it can become more awkward. “What do you want to do, huh? Where does your heart really lie?”
“Hmm, good question.” I nod, trying to work this out. I have the idea of going out on my own, but not too much more than that. “I want to help people. But, I don’t know much more than that.”
“Help people with more than marketing? Because that helps people.”
I smirk and give her a look. “I mean I want to really help people. People who need it.”
“That’s nice. I like that idea.” Her face beams with joy. “That’s really sweet. It’s what I would like to do as well. Helping the less fortunate. There are plenty of people who need it.”
Her excitement makes me excited. She’s right, she sees my vision, even if it isn’t fully formed yet. I do know that what I want is to make better the lives of those who need it. With someone like Lexi by my side, I could make it happen. Her passion combined with my own, would allow us to rule everything.
But of course, she will have to open up to me first. There’s no way we can fully be together until this wall between us comes down.
“So, what’s your dream, huh?” I ask curiously. “What do you want to do?”
Her eyes glaze over, she drifts off somewhere else, barely in the room anymore. And her answer is very telling. “I would have a family around me. A happy, healthy family. Nothing else matters more than that.”
I gulp, trying not to assure her that I can give her that if she wants, because that would be utterly crazy. I need to sit back, lean in my chair and wait for her to come back to me. But a family… that’s all she wants. This fiery tattooed girl who has more spunk and fire than anyone I know, just wants a normal life. You never know with people, do you? Everyone can be a surprise. Maybe even me and my want to help others.
Together though, we could make one another happy.
Chapter Nineteen
Lexi
I like knowing more about this man, he’s really special. Not what I expected at all. I thought that he was an arrogant rich man, who didn’t give a shit about anyone. But it turns out that he has a real heart in there. He wants to help the world and try to make it a better place. That makes me yearn for him, I want to hold him, touch him, get back the wonderful selfish feeling that I had once before with Isaac.
Jane did tell me to get a life, she did tell me to have some stories for her. She wouldn’t be mad if I was a little late I seeing her, would she? I’m sure she’d be happy to know that I’m taking her advice.
I smile at Isaac, feeling a pull towards him, like there’s a magnet between us. I lean forward, and I can’t stop myself from doing it. Isaac’s eyes open wide in surprise when he spots me coming for him, but he finally relaxes into a smile. I know that this is what he’s wanted for
a very long time and he’s glad to finally be back in that place. I wish I could tell him why it’s so weird between us. Why I am the way I am, but it still feels like something I need to keep inside, for the good of everyone involved.
To block all those thoughts out, stop myself swirling everything around and around in my mind for five minutes, I grab his shirt and pull him towards me to kiss him. There’s something magical about his lips. He always manages to block the world out.
We kiss for a little while, losing ourselves in one another, but he soon pulls back. For a moment, I panic, fearing that he’s going to demand an explanation for why I’m being such a freak. I stiffen, unsure of what to say, but then he just smiles serenely, happy to take me as I am, and he kisses me once more.
With my heart pounding hard against my rib cage, I begin to unbutton his shirt. We don’t normally do this, the whole stripping one another down and seeing one another, but the timing feels right. My hands slip in his shirt, I gasp loudly at the feel of his muscular body. He’s so sexy, like a sex god.
“Oh wow, nice body,” I groan, running my tongue along his teeth. “Do you work out a lot?”
He chuckles, a throaty sound which vibrates all the way through me. “Now and again, yes.”
“Hmm, I can tell. It feels nice. Can I see?” I lean back and shoot him a wink.
“If I show you mine, then you show me yours.”
“Ah, you want to see my tattoos, I know how it is. It’s always about the body art.”
While he pulls his pants off, I move back and peel my dress off, smiling as I hear the gasp coming from his mouth. He sounds happy to see me, which makes me feel fucking awesome. Once I flick the dress to one side, leaving it in a heap on the floor, I stare into Isaac’s eyes and I feel how turned on he is. He keeps skipping a breath, almost like he can’t quite catch it while looking at me. His eyes run all over me, flickering over the inked and non-inked parts, loving them both equally. I wonder if he’s going to ask me what they all mean, which will be hard since there are some I’m not quite ready to discuss yet, but thankfully, he doesn’t. It’s almost like he can see into my mind, and he knows just what I want.
He rises to his feet and removes his underwear, I do the same. I allow myself to be fully naked in front of him for the first time, which is thrilling and hard all at once. I don’t normally like to be looked at in such a way, but Isaac’s hungry eyes are exciting.
We move, closing the gap, the psychological and physical magnet pulling us together. As soon as we connect, his lips meet mine and his fingers curl into me. Another breath skips, as my wetness soaks his fingers. He explores me, plunging in deeper with every single movement. My body jerks with the sensations, I thrash against him with pleasure. Intense desire. His fingers alone make me realize just how much I’ve missed him.
Life has blurred passed me, I have given up everything for the time being, but Isaac is an addiction that I can’t fully shed from my veins. As his fingers brush over my nipples and he tugs and teases, I know that I’m in this addiction hard. There’s no withdrawal for me, I don’t even want one, I just want him.
His throbbing erection presses up against my leg, making me pant desperately. It takes all that I have not to devour him, but since it’s been a while, I need to just enjoy this moment, to savor it.
“Turn around,” he whispers into my ear, his breath really tickling me. “I want your back to me.”
Hmm, this is new, but nice too. I like the idea. So, not only do I turn my back to him, I bend over and rest my hands on the table, poking my ass out to him. I look over my shoulder, flickering my hair out of the way as I do, and the look on Isaac’s face is everything. He’s in heaven, looking at me in sheer bliss.
“Your body is incredible,” he moans, agony lacing his tone. “You’re so beautiful.”
I feel it. Beauty radiates through me, and a confidence shines through. Then he steps up closer behind me and his arms circle my waist. His lips graze the back of my neck causing the hairs to stand on edge. Goose bumps pop up and down my arms, my head lolls to one side in pleasure. Just the warmth of his body is enough to drive me wild. The butterflies flapping wildly in the pit of my stomach transform to the size of birds. They’re wild and intense, shivering through my veins and if I don’t have him soon, I’m going to lose my freaking mind.
“Open your eyes,” His words are electrifying, I can’t resist doing what he wants. And as my eyes pop apart, I see why. We’re reflected in a glass cabinet in front of us. A slightly blurry image, but a sexy one at that. “Do you see us?” His hand works its way over my nipples. “We look good together, don’t we?”
I blink my lashes a few times, drinking us in, loving every moment of it. His hands explore all of me, every peak, every dip, and we both get off on it. My breaths are labored and sharp, forcing him to take control, but I really don’t think he minds that. He likes the power, he likes the control. The further down my body that his kisses go, the more my legs turn into jelly.
As I hear his knees hit the floor, he pushes my legs further apart causing me to rest more on the desk, and his tongue finds my clit. I see my face brighten as he circles around and around, sending my head spinning. The pressure of pleasure is intense, it’s consuming me, and it’s hard to remain upright. A tight knot coils in my stomach, the waves begin to build, every inch of me shakes.
“Oh fuck.” I try to claw at the desk, to find something to hold on to, but there’s nothing. “Fuck, Isaac.”
He drags his tongue along my slit and plunges it deep into me. From behind, the sensation is incredible, like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It shatters through me, just about tipping me over the edge. I roll my hips backwards, trying to get more from him, trying to fuck his mouth, needing that release…
Which is the exact moment that he pulls away.
“Oh no,” I groan loudly in agony. I was so close, I could almost taste the pleasure. “Isaac, that’s too…”
The words strip from my mouth, I can’t speak even if I want to. He’s winded me and left me breathless. His cock is then rubbing my entrance, begging to be let inside, which is all I need. I roll back against him, pushing him in, and he soon repays me by slamming back into me, hard and fast. He fills me up in the most incredible way possible, allowing me to feel every damn inch of him. Fuck, this angle is incredible.
“Shit, Isaac.” He pounds against me so hard my hips bang against the desk. “That’s amazing.”
Each thrust is too much, I try to reach back and grab him, but I can’t reach anything. He grabs me. His fingers edge around and explore my hyper sensitive clit, where his tongue was only moments before. My face changes in the reflection, I look a bit like a different person as I watch myself teeter onto the edge of passion. The pleasure creeps through me, like lava working its way through my veins, creating an intense explosion in the pit of my stomach. The bolts flash all the way to my core. I tingle, vibrating under the pressure. It’s coming any minute now…
“Oh shit!” I crash hard, drowning under the waters of orgasm. The scream that bursts through me is powerful. It shatters through me, and I can watch myself the entire time which is so sexy. Then I lean further forwards, and focus on Isaac’s face. I’ve seen him all twisted up in pleasure before, but it’s a sight that never gets old. I adore it… I adore him. I might even more than adore him, which is incredibly dangerous considering the way that my life is at the moment.
But that sensation, that wonderful feeling stays with me as we crash together, panting and laughing as we swim in the bliss of orgasm. It’s lovely. I don’t want this feeling to end. But then bit by bit, a coldness creeps through me, reality, the realization that I do have somewhere else I need to be.
I lean down to the floor and grab my dress, my underwear too, to put it back on. I can’t look at Isaac as I dress, and I hope that he isn’t looking at me either. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something a little awkward about this. No, I do know. It’s me. It’s because I nee
d to get out of here and I’m embarrassed.
“Are you okay?” Isaac asks me curiously. His tone is caring and sweet, which just makes me want to stay more. Unfortunately, I can’t. The other part of my life is pulling me back in.
“I am, I just… I have somewhere that I need to be, that’s all.”
I glance at Isaac, just to see his face fall. It makes me feel terrible, but then he nods in an understanding way. He’s a good man. He’s kind to me in a way that I’m not sure if I deserve.
“Of course. You go. Thank you for all you help tonight. I will see you tomorrow.”
I nod sadly and smile as much as I can. “Yes, of course you will. I’ll see you then.”
I pull away, hating that I need to, but it’s all I can do. It’s for Jane, and that’s all I need.
Chapter Twenty
Isaac
Where are you going? I want to scream. Why do you keep leaving me like this?
I have always known that she’s had a secret, even before the moment I started sleeping with her, but now it’s killing me. The more I fall for her, the more I need to know what that secret is. It’s driving me crazy. The more time that passes without her telling me, the more fearful I become that it’s something that will cause me to get my heart broken. I’m only just letting my heart out of its cage a little bit and I don’t want it to be damaged. Sure, I know that it’s a part of life and I shouldn’t be allowed to get through without it, but it’s the first time I have ever felt anything for anyone, this is terrifying.
What if it’s a husband and she’s married? Something along those lines…
I gulp the thick ball of emotion down, but it doesn’t shift. The idea that Lexi might be playing me for some reason just sticks. Sure, she doesn’t seem like that kind of person, but my judgment might be off. Plus, she might be in a desperate situation and that’ll make people do anything.
