He was not a rock star but a wannabe rock star and that was good enough for me, for now. Plus he certainly looked the part.
Right now, I was underneath this sexy man/boy whose cock was planted deeply and firmly inside of me and as I writhed in ecstasy under him, he moaned his delight on top.
He then turned me over and I straddled him. His cock felt even longer to me now that I was on top. He reached and grabbed my little breast and squeezed them with a gentle forcefulness that was a real turn on.
I rocked back and forth on him and he pulled me down to kiss him. He came suddenly and let out a moan and his body jerked as he climaxed.
I came too and fell over onto my side. We lay there for a few moments, exhausted and spent.
We fell asleep to the sounds of the Neil Young album and the scent of Jasmine. I was in heaven.
Waking up…I was in hell.
It seemed that somehow during the night, the contents of the van had infiltrated the bedroom.
In the stark morning light, I could see bags of trash and beer cans strewn all over the room. Ashtrays overflowing on both nightstands and the dresser. The blissful scent of Jasmine, long since gone, was replaced by the stench of sex, sweat and tobacco.
Tim/Flash reached over to me in a haze of nasty morning breath and mumbled, “Good morning Babe.” His hair was a mess, his rock star makeup smeared all over his face and he stunk. I stunk, the whole place stunk.
I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom to take a shower. As I crouched over the filthy gas station toilet I reached for a lop of paper and there was none. I had to use the washcloth from the night before to wipe my ass.
As I got up to shower, the door opened and there was a strange guy staring at my naked self half sitting on the toilet! “Oops, sorry,” he said as he backed out of the bathroom.
Seems Tim/Flash had a roommate, Freddy, that he had neglected to tell me about. I quickly showered and grabbed my never know bag and got dressed. I put on my makeup and plugged my blow dryer into the rusty looking outlet only for it to shoot sparks, flickering the lights.
“Don’t use the outlet in there,” came the voice of the roommate. Too late, I thought.
I went back into the bedroom and Tim/Flash was already up and in the kitchen.
I had not had the pleasure of seeing the kitchen the night before and thank God since I would have probably fainted.
It smelled like rotten food and there were dishes piled two feet high in the sink and all over the counter top.
The stove was covered in chili crust and there was putrid water in a small bowl on the floor decorated with a paw print. Don’t tell me there is an animal living here amongst this filth. Where is it?
They were trying to make coffee and came to the realization that when you don’t have a coffee filter, toilet paper will do just fine.
Oh, I thought, that is where the paper went. When offered a cup of java, I declined.
Tim/Flash, who had not showered, washed his face or brushed his teeth came over and planted a wet French kiss on me. I flinched as his beer/pot/sex breath stung my nostrils. His wild, sexy hair from the night before was now a matted mess of black curls.
Freddy, dressed in nothing but a stained robe, looked on.
Somewhere in the other room, I heard not one but two cats meowing as a small bag of Purina rattled them to attention.
Welcome to rock and roll baby!
Twosomes, Threesomes, Foursomes
Tim/Flash had asked me to crash with him for a while saying that Freddy was headed up to Maine to visit his parents. He would be gone for two weeks and since I had nowhere else to go, why not spend it with him. I said okay.
Over the next few days, I cleaned up the house a bit and got ready for the next show on Friday. Cindy and Bing were a constant at the house and they always brought beer, dope and steamed shrimp.
The nights were spent with us crashing on the couch, the TV on but muted, and the record player playing softly in the background. We got high and drunk every night and slept till noon the following day.
I knew that Cindy did coke and she was always snorting and rubbing her nose. I’d watch her as she took a bump them offered some to the other guys. Some nights Marco and Rich would stop by, other times, the house was full of people and no one seemed to have a job.
I would go to bed and it was just me and Tim/Flash but wake up to loud rock music and a couple of whores on the couch and a new guy on the floor.
There were shot guns lined up in the back hallway and a large aquarium in the front living room that contained a large boa constrictor.
There was a smaller cage off to the left that contained mice they raised to feed the snake.
We would go to a gig every weekend and afterward, come back to the apartment, get high and have mind blowing sex.
One night, Cindy was there without Bing saying he had some family thing to attend to and he would stop by later.
I went into the kitchen and walked back in to find her and Tim/Flash kissing on the couch. I stood there shocked and they stopped and looked at me.
“Oh, it’s cool,” he said, “Cindy and I used to be together and sometimes we still hang out. Bing knows all about it and he‘s cool with it.”
I just stood there. “Come here,” he said as he motioned me to join them.
She reached her hand out to me and as I bent down to greet her, she gently kissed me. I had never kissed a girl before and it was different than kissing a guy.
Her lips were softer and smaller than Tim/Flash’s and it felt weird to me to be kissing her.
I didn’t love Tim/Flash and at the moment, wasn’t even sure if I liked him anymore, but he was a good lay and it was a place to stay…for now.
So, I went along and kissed her back. She was very passionate and I could feel the excitement building in Tim/Flash’s jeans.
I was now sitting on his lap and Cindy was on his left side. His right hand was on my breast and the other one between her legs. Her hands were roaming between both of our crotches.
After a few minutes, he got up and led us into the bedroom. A red scarf had been hung over the lamp to create a soft ambiance.
He took off his clothes and lay down on the bed. His cock was harder than I had ever seen it.
Cindy undressed but kept her underwear on and lay down next to him. They invited me to join them.
I took off my jeans, again revealing the fact that I was panty less and then removed my top exposing my flowered bra.
Us girls lay on each side of him stroking and caressing his manhood. We took turns kissing him then kissing each other.
At one point, she lay me back on the bed and began to explore my tight and (by now) wetness.
I had never had anyone go down on me before, not even Tim/Flash. I don’t know why but it was something that had never happened but now it was happening and I was in pure, utter ecstasy.
Her soft lips slowly kissing my inner thighs as she made her way to my waiting puss and slowly, she stuck her tongue inside me. I almost screamed.
Tim/Flash slowly rose and got behind her and began fucking her from behind. I don’t know if he was in her ass or not but his key had found the right keyhole.
As she lay with her head between my legs filling me with pure joy, I could feel her move with every thrust of his cock pounding her from behind. It only added to the intensity.
He began to moan and I felt he was about to explode then he pulled out and she then lay down beside me.
I had never been that close to another woman but she had obliged me without question and I felt I should do the same.
In the same position that I was previously in, I slowly put my head between her legs. A slight musky odor rose from her inner thighs but it was not offensive. It was the scent of anticipation, of wanting me to lick her as she had done me moments before.
I felt Tim/Flash come up behind me, reach a hand down between my sopping wet mound as h
e entered me, and let out a moan of pure delight.
I bent down and touched her womanly place with my fingers and she squirmed. I then put my tongue on her folds and began to lick her. She was already wet and the taste was sweet, salty and intoxicating.
I held open her female folds as I licked them and then instinctively and ever so gently, put my finger up inside her. I fucked her with my middle finger while I licked her clit and felt her come inside my mouth.
Tim/Flash continued to pump me from behind then suddenly and without warning, he pulled his cock out and it gently found its way to another opening back there that had been forbidden up until now.
My front side was screaming in ecstasy and was ready for anything at that point.
Cindy had changed positions and was now underneath me licking me again as Tim/Flash, using his cock, gently teased a new, tighter home that he had found.
As I instinctively backed onto his waiting cock, the pain was short lived and I could feel the firmness of his cock as it lay on the inside of my tight canal.
He pounded harder and then at the moment of climax, he pulled out and rained his hot juice all over my back.
Meanwhile, Cindy was still underneath me and as I came, she began to suck harder which threw me onto my side and left me trying to catch my breath.
At that very moment, the door opened and in walked Bing. He looked at the sight on the bed before him and I thought he would blow a gasket.
Instead, he threw off his clothes and jumped on the bed between us. His cock already hard and ready to go.
He was a big guy, about 200 pounds, but a lovable teddy bear and I was to soon find out how lovable he really was.
Tim/Flash had gotten up to shower and told us to “have at it and enjoy yourselves.”
Which is exactly what we did.
It was that night that I tried coke for the very first time. I was sore from all the bed romping and ready to crash when Cindy approached me in the kitchen with a vial of white powder.
“Why won’t you try it?” she asked.
I just shrugged my shoulders. Up until then, I had only smoked pot, drank beer, took some diet pills and tasted whiskey which I preferred over beer any day of the week.
I was starting to acquire a taste for Jack Daniels and Coca-Cola which to me tasted a hell of a lot better than that nasty piss in a can.
The guys were on the couch bullshitting and Cindy and I walked into the room. I had just fucked both of them, well actually all three of them, and I didn’t know who to go to.
Tim/Flash reached out his arm to me, which told me to sit with him, and I did and he and the other two started snorting coke.
They knew that the next day, well actually today since it was after midnight, was my birthday and to “celebrate” they wanted me to try cocaine for the first time.
I had seen how it affected Tim/Flash. He would snort a few lines, than get hyper then kinda paranoid, he couldn’t sleep, then his dick would go limp and he couldn’t fuck.
Or he became too hard that he could fuck but couldn’t get off and I ended being worn out and sore the next day from hours of trying to get him off. Then it hurt like hell when I tried to take a pee.
Who needs that shit?
Cindy was always hyper and I really couldn’t tell any difference with her after she snorted it and Bing would snort then walk around talking about the buzz and the nasty drip in the back of his throat.
They laid out a small pile of white powder on the nasty coffee table that was littered with dirty ashtrays, coffee stains and an old National Enquirer. With a razor blade, they would cut the pile into several thin lines. Sometimes they would cut the lines on a mirror so they could watch themselves get high.
In their hands was a rolled up money bill that I guess in their minds was a $100 bill when in reality, it was a one or a ten.
Rock star wannabes.
They each did a bump then Tim/Flash offered the bill to me. “Go on,” he nudged. “Don’t be afraid, we’re all right here with you.”
I took the bill out of his hands, he instructed me on what to do, and I slowly leaned in toward the table.
I placed the bill on the bottom of one of the lines and inserted the dirty money up into my nose a little way. “Not too far,” he instructed.
I then took a little snort and I felt a grainy substance fly up into my nostrils. I was encouraged to take in the whole line which I did.
The granules glided their way up into my virgin nostrils and I could feel them as they made their way up inside me. I had not snorted hard enough, being my first time, and some of the powder fell back out of my nose.
Tim/Flash instructed me to hold the other side of my nostril harder and snort the white powder with everything I had.
I immediately felt a burning sensation in my nose and after a few seconds, got a strong and bitter taste in my mouth as the white, milky residue dripped down the back of my throat. If felt like acid reflux coming back up into my throat and I coughed.
In order to clean up the rest of the line, he told me to lick my finger, wipe up the rest of the powder, and rub it across my front teeth. I did and my mouth began to feel numb.
Within seconds, it felt like my lungs had been filled with God’s own breath and I could see clearly for the first time in my life.
Everything and everyone in the room looked different to me, very clear and aware. I was never lacking in the confidence department but I felt like I could conquer the world. It was an incredible feeling and I could only think of one thing…I wanted more.
Tim/Flash, Bing and Cindy all cheered and then went about their turns doing their lines. I couldn’t wait to blow some more powder up my nose but was cautioned to take it easy my first few times.
That night, that early morning on my birthday was the day I jumped on the road to becoming a junkie.
It had been almost a year since I moved in with Tim/Flash and to be honest, the lifestyle was getting old. I cared about him but was tired of threesomes, foursomes, and living in a shit hole apartment over a garage.
Freddy had come back home by now and spent most of his time getting stoned and staying stoned. He was never interested in sex or being a part of our little party. Most nights, he would be passed out in the chair by 10 o’clock.
Good thing he didn‘t want to fuck me, since he stunk like BO and never seemed to wash his stringy hair.
We were supposed to be heading out to LA, but that plan fell through, “for the time being” I was told.
Bing was going to finance the trip but his parents had a change of heart but did invite us all out to their big fancy house in Marblehead, which was about 17 miles north of Boston. They came from old money and they had a large house out on the water and invited us to spend a week with them.
Bing, whose real name was Nathan, acquired the nickname Bing as a child when he used to hit around on the pots and pans in the kitchen and chant “bing, bang, boom” all through the house. The beginnings of a rock star wannabe drummer.
The gigs were drying up and the band was getting frustrated. Marco had given in to the pressures of mom and dad and signed up for the Marines.
Tim/Flash thought about looking for another bassist but that idea too was put on hold, “for the time being”.
No one ever worked and the money in the coffee can was running low as was our stash of weed, blow and food.
Tim/Flash was drinking more and spending a lot of time with Cindy getting high and I could see where this whole situation was headed…nowhere.
Where was I headed? Somewhere!
We had been living in Cambridge, Massachusetts which was a cool old town not far from Boston. It was full of old houses, hip people and freethinkers with a laid back attitude about life. It could be slightly dodgy at night and it irritated me that it was full of one way streets which made driving the old van difficult. Especially for someone like me who was not used to the area. However, I liked it since it had less
of a city feel.
Our apartment was on Franklin Street not far from the Charles River.
I had not expressed my desire to split to Tim/Flash but I was growing restless and had to keep focusing on the plan I had laid down several months ago. I was not looking for an ‘ol man and a bunch of spaced out party boys, I wanted a real, living, breathing rock star in my bed, on top of me and inside me. A real rock star, not some wannabes living out of a coffee can getting off on fucking each other’s girlfriends and snorting blow.
But since no one there could read my mind, the thought of leaving was ever present and I knew my aunt was in Framingham and just a quick ride down Route 90.
My plan to split was put into motion. However, it took almost another year for anything real to happen.
There was a cool hot spot in Boston called The Paradise Rock Club on Commonwealth Avenue near Boston University. Cool bands like U2 have performed there and one of the biggest bands in the world was coming to play and I wanted us to go.
This band was no ordinary rock band. They were my rock band and I had my sights on the lead guitar player. What can I say, I had a thing for guitar players.
They were the band that Peggy and I first saw together a few years ago.
I had fantasized about this band and my rock star that I had to go and see them up close and personal again.
A lot of big name rock bands had come out of New England, this was one of the biggest, and they loved to come home to their Boston roots.
We scrounged up the $13.50 a piece to buy four tickets and off to the show we went. It meant that we had to live on tomato soup and a loaf of bread for a week but I didn’t care.
The things I do for the love of rock stars.
Backstage Pass
As we found our seats which weren’t very good, I talked Cindy into moving closer to the stage with me. Never one to worry about authority, she agreed.
We left our shitty seats and inched our way down closer to the real action. We told the guys we were headed to the bathroom. They were so drunk by that time, they didn’t even notice that we were gone.
I was 18, 112 pounds, long blonde hair, big green eyes and perky little boobs. I was hardly a muskrat so I thought I would use my feminine wiles to get backstage.
Lick and a Promise-Diary of a Rock Star Groupie Page 3
