by Cora Reilly
Guilt flashed across Fiona’s face. “You aren’t fat,” she said.
“Don’t sugarcoat it. I’m nowhere near a size zero.”
Not for lack of trying, by God. Deep down I wondered why Xavier had slept with me at all. I couldn’t blame it on an alcohol-induced slip in judgment because we had only drunk non-alcoholic beer. Maybe he’d wanted to find out how it was to bang a curvy girl.
“I’m sorry, Evie. I’m a bitch.”
I nodded. She hugged me. “Do me a favor: forget him. Move on. There are so many decent men out there that will treat you right.”
As if it was that easy. “I don’t think I can,” I said miserably. “And I’m his personal assistant. I have to face him every day. I don’t think I can bear seeing him with another girl again.”
“Then quit. You’ll find a new job. Give him your three-week notice and let him continue his shitty life. With a little luck, he’ll get a bad case of syphilis and his dick falls off.”
“There’s a clause in my contract that I can’t leave until I’ve found him a suitable assistant or six months have passed.”
“It can’t be that hard to find a new assistant for him.”
“Last time you had to get me from the States because all the respectable assistants wanted nothing to do with him.”
“Well, then he’ll have to settle for a lousy assistant. That’s not your problem.”
I sighed. If this had been only sex, maybe then it could have worked but for me at least, emotions had been involved.
“Come on, let’s watch one of the horrible splatter movies you’re into,” she said, turning on the TV. “Just let me put the ice cream in the freezer since you already have two buckets.”
I nodded and leaned back. Fiona returned, wrapping an arm around me. Turning on the TV, we watched in silence for a long time until I got tired of the itchiness of my skin that reminded me too much of last night. “I should grab a shower. I didn’t want to do it in Xavier’s penthouse this morning.”
Fiona wrinkled her nose. “You should have told me that you still have Xavier all over you, then I would have put on gloves hugging you,” she said teasingly. I shoved her and she fell back with a smile.
My own lips pulled into a small grin. Trust Fiona to make me feel better. She’d always been good at consoling me. When people had teased me for my weight in school, she’d let me cry on her shoulder, and later kicked their asses.
I got up and winced. God, it hurt like a bitch. Fiona gave me an understanding look. “Sore?”
“Yeah,” I said, embarrassed.
Fiona got up. “I can’t believe you lost your V-card to that asshole.”
“I’m already in pain, do you need to add fuel to the fire?”
“That bad?” she asked, then shrugged. “I mean you kind of deserve it.”
I rolled my eyes.
Her eyes hardened, turning protective. “Was he being an inconsiderate asshole?”
“He didn’t know.”
“Yeah well, doesn’t mean he has to act like a caveman.”
“Fiona, I really don’t want to talk about it, but he was really careful after he figured it out.”
“Then why are you so sore?”
I cocked an eyebrow in Xavier’s manner. “I don’t have to compensate for anything.” Even just imitating him sent a stab into my heart.
“Oh man, I’m going to announce my entrance next time,” Connor muttered.
Our heads whirled around. He was leaning against the doorway with a disturbed expression on his face and his gym bag in his hand.
Heat shot into my cheeks. That was the icing on my embarrassment cake.
“How long have you been eavesdropping?” Fiona asked accusingly.
“I’m not eavesdropping. This is my home and you were talking loudly in the middle of the living room.”
Fiona gave him a look that could have lighted a drenched piece of wood on fire.
“Great,” I muttered. “Now I can’t face Xavier and you.”
Connor gave me an understanding look, but I didn’t want his pity. It was my own fault for forgetting what kind of man Xavier was.
“Do you need painkillers?” Fiona asked quietly.
Connor shook his head, grimacing, and went upstairs. “Do me a favor and lower your voices when you discuss your female needs.”
I gave her an exasperated look. “This day needs to be over quick.”
The next day I didn’t wake to Evie’s snarky comments or the warning hiss of my espresso unit. When I checked my phone, the first thing I registered was Evie’s short message, telling me she was sick and couldn’t come to work. After that my eyes found the time: I had exactly five minutes to get to training. Damn it!
I jumped out of bed. So close to the start of the season I really couldn’t risk the coach putting me on the bench.
I got ready and reached the training grounds in record time, but still too late.
Connor jogged up to me after the coach was done screaming at me for being twenty minutes late. “One day without Evie and you are already late.”
“She was supposed to wake me. She didn’t show up with some half-ass apology about being sick.” She wasn’t sick. We both knew it. Guilt hit me like a fucking wrecking ball again.
Connor narrowed his eyes. “Can you really blame her? She probably didn’t want to see you.”
“She’s my assistant.” The possibility she was still my friend was highly unlikely, and the stab that sent through me almost knocked my damn breath out of me.
“And she was still asleep when I left. The painkillers knocked her out.”
I stopped mid-run. “Painkillers?”
Connor kept jogging in place beside me, the corners of his eyes crinkling in that annoying way. “Apparently you acted like a caveman with your enormous stick.”
“Did I hurt her?”
Connor began to laugh softly, eyes full of mirth as he jogged in front of me.
I shoved his shoulder, pushing him out of my way. “You know what, Connor, fuck you.”
I started running again. I wouldn’t get another lecture from the coach because Connor was messing with my mind. Connor fell into step beside me again, still with that fucking air of self-righteousness.
“I don’t know why you are pissed. You didn’t have to listen to Fiona and Evie talk about being sore all night. That’s not my idea of a relaxing evening, trust me.”
“Is she all right?” I asked.
“Ask her yourself if you really want to know. I’m not getting involved in this. I’m already the bad guy because you’re my best friend, so thanks.”
“I assume that means I’m no longer invited to barbecue tomorrow?”
Connor groaned. “Fuck, I forgot about that.” He glanced my way. “I’m not sure if it’s in your best interest to be around Fiona at the moment. I can’t guarantee your safety. Fiona is royally pissed at you.”
“More pissed than her usual pissed self?”
“Trust me, Xavier, you haven’t seen Fiona this pissed yet.”
I would have loved to see Fiona that pissed. Pissing her off was my favorite pastime, but I was wary about being around Evie after what happened. “Don’t worry, Connor. I can keep myself entertained. Enjoy your barbecue while I find somewhere I can put my enormous stick.”
Connor shot me a glare. “Really? You’re just going back to fucking the next random girl?”
I returned his glare. “What else am I supposed to be doing?”
He sneered. “I don’t know, but maybe you should start thinking about it.” With that, he sped up even more. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Since when was he the authority on women? I still remembered our bachelor days too well, before Fiona.
After training, I picked up my phone and tried calling Evie but she didn’t pick up. She also ignored my messages. Evie wasn’t the petty or vindictive type, so if she acted this way, she was really hurt.
I wasn’t sure what to do, and that was the worst.
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I sent Xavier a message that I was sick and ignored his messages and calls. When I didn’t show up the next day either, Connor cornered me in the kitchen where I was preparing an afternoon snack for myself. Fiona was gone recording a workout with another Instagram fitness star, or he probably wouldn’t have dared to say the banned “X-word.”
“Xavier needs you. You need to return to work, really,” he said imploringly as he stepped into the kitchen.
I raised my eyebrows over my cup of coffee, then took a bite of the chocolate mug cake I’d made in the microwave. “I’m sick.”
“No, you’re not,” he said. “Xavier is an asshole, I’m giving you that, but he’s my best friend, and the best player on our team. I can’t have him messing up this season because you don’t kick his ass. I know you’re hurt because he did what he always does, and never stops talking about.”
I flushed at the realization that Xavier probably shared everything with his best friend. Had they had a good laugh about me? I didn’t want to know how badly I’d embarrassed myself, having no experience and not looking the model-type. “I hope you enjoyed his stories about me,” I muttered.
Connor’s eyes widened. “He didn’t say anything about you, Evie, I swear. And if he’d tried, I would have shut him up with a fist to his fucking mouth.”
I cuffed his shoulder lightly. “You’re a good guy. Fiona is lucky to have you.”
Connor smiled briefly, then he sighed. “He’s driving us up the walls. The team and me in particular. He was late to a press conference and two trainings so far. The coach is going to lose his shit soon.”
“That’s not my problem,” I said, but it was. Connor was right, and despite what Xavier had done, or rather what he and I had done, I didn’t want to hurt Xavier’s career. He lived for his sport.
“It is. You are his assistant. Act like a grown-up about it, okay? Just save his sorry ass until you’ve found him a new babysitter.” He left without another word, and I stared at his back. Broad and muscled like Xavier’s. I should have never gotten anywhere near a rugby player to begin with.
But Connor had a point. I was a grown woman. I had been raised to be responsible for my actions and accept the consequences they brought. And I would do just that. Tomorrow morning I’d wake up Xavier like I had done every day these last few months. I’d act like his assistant and babysitter like before. I’d do my job until I found someone else to do it for me.
Xavier—The Beast—Stevens wouldn’t stop me. Not because of one regrettable night. So many women had lost their V-card in a worse way; so what if I didn’t get my happily ever after?
I unlocked Xavier’s apartment and stepped in, my stomach in knots. I was a bit later than usual. It had taken more time than I’d thought to give myself a pep talk. I put the mail down on the bar counter and my purse on the stool, then hesitated briefly, taking a deep breath. I went toward the winding staircase to call up for him to get his ass down here when Xavier’s voice rang out.
“Fuck, yes!” Xavier groaned.
I took a step back as silence followed.
Then a female voice rang out. “I knew you’d love to wake up like that.”
“Sucking my dick was a nice touch, yes.”
I whirled around and hurried back into the kitchen area. I snatched up my purse and rushed toward the front door, then paused with my purse clutched against my chest. I wouldn’t run. This was my job.
Evie, you are going to get through this.
I had known what I was getting myself into when I’d started this job. I had read the tabloids, had listened to Fiona’s stories. I took a deep breath and put my purse down on the counter, turned on the espresso unit to announce my entry loud and clear, then climbed onto the barstool.
I sorted through the mail and set it out on the bar ordered by importance. I put two cute fan letters from school classes to the top because they made me smile. Then I checked my phone for appointments for the day. Xavier had training at nine a.m. and an interview at three p.m. I glanced at the clock. It was 8:15. If he managed to finish his business with his conquest quickly, we should be on time for training today.
There had been silence upstairs for a while now. I hoped that meant they were done and not that their mouths were occupied. And as if on cue, a blonde head appeared on the upstairs landing. Everything I was not. Lean, fit, perfect. My stomach squeezed so tightly, I was surprised I didn’t eject my breakfast.
She slowly made her way down, dressed in a micro-skirt I wouldn’t even fit my thigh into and a glittery top. Xavier followed close behind her, his get-the-heck-out face already on, and as usual dressed in nothing but briefs, black this time. But unlike every other morning before today, I knew now how it felt to run my fingers over the ridges of his stomach, how his mouth felt on my skin, how it felt to have him inside me, and I couldn’t unremember it.
He paused briefly when he spotted me, and his expression slipped: guilt.
I lowered my eyes to my mobile, pretending to be busy with business, which wasn’t even a lie. I still had about twenty-five emails I needed to read and respond to.
“Is this your assistant?” the girl asked.
Xavier didn’t say anything, and I didn’t bother to look up or confirm her assumption. His strong legs appeared in my peripheral vision. “Evie,” he said simply.
That deep voice. I was a glutton for punishment. I masked my emotions, and I peered up at him. “We have forty minutes to get you to training,” I said in a professional voice. Sophisticated and in control, both qualities I longed for at the moment.
“You haven’t answered any of my messages.”
“You can’t be late again. Your coach will put you on the bench next game.”
“I was worried about you.”
“You also have an interview with Women’s Health at three p.m.”
The blonde followed our conversation like a tennis match.
“Spare yourself the embarrassment and just leave,” I told her. “He won’t meet you again. He never does.”
She blanched, then pursed her lips. “Only because you don’t get laid, fatty, doesn’t mean you have to let it out on me.”
I didn’t even feel offended. I was already too broken up to care about an insult from her, and I had heard worse in school. Nothing was as cruel as teenagers.
Xavier whirled on her, making her take a step back. “I liked you better when your mouth was busy swallowing my cum.”
She sucked in a shocked breath. And I stifled my own gasp. That was low, even for Xavier. I’d never heard him talk to a woman like that.
“Leave—you heard what Evie said.”
She shot me the nastiest glower possible before she strode out, her head held high. I wished I’d managed that kind of departure three days ago and found myself relieved that nobody had recorded my walk of shame. That would have been the headline of the year.
“That was unnecessarily cruel,” I told him.
He turned back to me, with a look that made me more than a little nervous. “She got what she deserved. I don’t know why it’s always the same.”
“Oh, you know, women can be foolish sometimes,” I said lightly.
Xavier grimaced. He rubbed the back of his head. “Listen, Evie, I’m—”
“Late, I know,” I interrupted him. “We need to leave now. Get dressed.” I hopped down from the barstool, grabbed my purse and headed toward the door. “I will be waiting for you. You’ve got five minutes.”
I threw a glance over my shoulder at a pained-looking Xavier. “I’ll leave in exactly five minutes with or without you,” I warned as I stepped outside, closed the door and leaned against the wall in the hallway.
Four minutes and fifty-five seconds later Xavier stepped out of his apartment, dressed in his usual training gear. I turned and quickly called the elevator, my back to him.
He stopped close beside me. “How are you?”
Oh my God, was he being serious? “This conversation isn’t happening.”
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br /> “Evie—”
The elevator stopped on the floor and I moved in, then leaned against the wall. Xavier hesitated a moment before he joined me inside and pressed the button for the ground floor.
I had a hard time not checking him out in the mirrors. “I quit,” I said.
His head snapped around to me. “We have a contract.”
“I know. And I’m going to find you a good replacement for me, don’t worry.”
“I don’t want a replacement. I want you.”
Not in the way I want you.
“Six months. That’s the maximum you get. After that I can leave without a replacement.”
He glared. “If that’s what you want.”
I nodded. It was far from what I wanted, but it was the best outcome I could hope for. The moment the elevator arrived downstairs, I rushed out. We didn’t talk again during the drive.
We arrived on the training grounds at five to nine. Xavier jogged toward the field as I took my usual seat on the bleachers.
“That girl of yours saves your ass again,” the coach said with a wave at me.
I smiled in return. Soon someone else would have to save Xavier’s ass, even if it was the sexiest ass I’d ever had the misfortune of knowing.
Xavier and I barely talked in the following days. Mainly because my answers consisted of one-word replies and Xavier wasn’t used to women giving him a hard time, so he just gave up.
I entered his apartment as I did every morning, loudly, to prevent more embarrassing incidents from occurring.
I was busy preparing a cappuccino for myself when the sound of steps drew my eyes up, and I froze when the same girl as yesterday morning came down the staircase. Xavier didn’t do a girl twice. Ever.
I was still staring when Xavier followed after the woman. Then finally I focused on the milk foam, but I listened.
“So tonight?” the girl said in a flirty tone.
“Sure. You’ll pick me up at my place at eight?”
I couldn’t stop myself from looking up. A third date? When he’d moved from one girl to the other it had been bearable, but seeing him with someone for real, the way I wanted to be with him, broke my heart into tiny pieces.
