“Of course he will, sweetheart,” Jen said with as much confidence as she could. They’d walked to the Sterns’ dozens of times when the weather was good, but Teddy had never gone alone, and Jen wasn’t sure he paid attention to the route. “You were so smart to think of that. And brave, too.”
“But it’s my fault Dad got shot. If I hadn’t tried anything, maybe Ryan wouldn’t have done it.”
“Oh, honey, no, it is not your fault at all. You are not one bit responsible for what those...lunatics do.”
“Is Dad hurt really bad? Ryan wouldn’t let me see. He dragged me back down here right after and I didn’t see him. Is he going to be okay?”
Livvy hadn’t seen how badly her father was hit, and so Jen minimized it. “The bullet went through clean. And I don’t think it hit anything important.” Which might be true...but probably wasn’t. “He’s alert and talking. You did good, honey. You did so good, I’m proud of you.”
“But, Mom...I feel like I made everything worse. Dad’s hurt and Teddy might get lost and it’s so cold out there.”
“It’s going to be fine, sweetie,” Jen said with a confidence she didn’t feel. “Teddy will find his way and Mrs. Stern will take care of him.”
“Do you think there’s any way he’d be able to tell her? About what happened?”
Jen hesitated. Sure, it was possible. The therapist said that Teddy was making great strides in his exercises at school. But these things didn’t have a timetable. And in a situation like this, under stress, it seemed to her that Teddy was less likely to verbalize, not more.
“I don’t know about that, honey, but we just need to focus on getting through tonight, and then tomorrow it will all be over.”
“Why, what’s going to happen tomorrow? Where did you even go?”
Jen gave her an abbreviated version of the bank trip, saying only that she had to wire funds that would be ready tomorrow. “It went smoothly,” she lied. “We just have to go back and pick up the money, and then Dan and Ryan can leave.”
She could feel Livvy relax in her arms and prayed she was right. The money would land in the account by tomorrow afternoon. They’d return to the bank and get the cashier’s check before it closed. Of course, one little hitch would mean that they were up against the weekend, and then there was a good possibility that the money wouldn’t be ready until Monday at the earliest and—
Stop, Jen told herself. She forced herself to take several slow breaths, the way she’d learned in yoga, imagining breathing in vital oxygen to fill her lungs and exhaling her worries.
Teddy was fine. She could believe that. She would believe that. Cricket would take care of him. If she came to the house, Jen would lie brilliantly and talk her into keeping Teddy for the night. She’d say Livvy was sick—she could even use that excuse for not inviting Cricket in. Tomorrow, when Jen didn’t show up to pick Teddy up, she’d be worried enough to do something. But that was good. Once Dan and Ryan left with their money, Cricket could bang on the door, call the cops, do whatever she wanted.
The breathing helped. After a while, Livvy’s eyes fluttered shut and she dozed in Jen’s arms, and it was almost peaceful. Ten minutes passed, maybe more, and Jen even began to get a little sleepy herself when the door at the top of the stairs opened again.
Dan came down carrying a pot in one hand and a couple of bowls and spoons in the other. He set them on the coffee table as Livvy sat up groggily, rubbing her eyes.
“You better eat,” Dan said, lifting the lid off the pot. He’d made macaroni and cheese and stirred in what looked like cut-up pepperoni. Jen felt a faint wave of nausea and struggled not to show it.
When neither Jen nor Livvy made a move toward the food, Dan spooned half the macaroni into each bowl, shoving them back across the coffee table. Jen picked up her spoon and took a bite, trying not to gag on the cooling, powdery noodles.
“Okay, I’ve made some decisions,” Dan said. “We’re going to go look for Teddy, me and you, while it’s still light out. If he didn’t make it to his friend’s house, I want that damn kid back here where we can keep an eye on him.”
A bit of pasta lodged in Jen’s throat and she started to cough. The coughing turned to gagging for breath, and Dan cursed and looked around the basement.
“Where’s the water? Come on, Livvy, where’s the damn water?”
But Livvy was already up, grabbing a bottle from the top of the washing machine where Ted had left them and twisting off the cap. “Mom, drink,” she said, shoving the bottle at her mother, and Jen lifted it up and took a drink. The water forced the food painfully down her throat, and she gasped for breath.
“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Dan said, when she recovered. “We’ll go out the back, search from the woods until we get to the edge of the neighborhood. If we run into anyone you know, you tell them you’re giving me directions. If we don’t find him, we assume he made it to his friend’s place.”
“You don’t have to do this,” Livvy protested. “Even if Teddy runs into someone, he can’t tell anyone his name or address, and he can’t write.”
Dan pressed his lips together. “Maybe we should send you,” he said to Livvy. “You and Ryan, you can go look while I stay here with your folks.”
“No,” Jen said quickly. “If someone has to go, I’ll go with Ryan. Or you go and take Livvy. Please. I don’t want her alone with Ryan.”
Their eyes met and held, and the comprehension in his expression frightened Jen. He knew what she was asking—and he didn’t disagree. He was worried about Ryan, too. Which meant that he didn’t believe he could control his partner.
“Yeah, okay, that could work. I’ll take her. You’ll know where to look, right, Livvy? It’s, what—” he peered at his watch, a cheap Timex “—nearly three now. Plenty of daylight.”
“Mom,” Livvy said, squeezing Jen’s hand hard. “I don’t want to.”
“It’s all right,” Jen said gently. “You’ll be safe with Dan. Nothing’s going to happen while you’re with him.”
She cut him a look, trying to let him know that if he hurt Livvy in any way she’d make it her life’s purpose to make him pay. “Right, Dan?”
“Sure. Right. Look, the sooner we go, the sooner we’ll be back. I’ll get your coat. Where is it?”
Jen told him where to look, and after he’d gone upstairs and locked the door behind him, she turned to Livvy and took both hands in hers. “Listen. I know it’s hard, but I need you to be brave. You can do that, right?”
Livvy swallowed. “I’m not scared for me. I mean, I am, a little. But only of Ryan. I don’t care about Dan. I just don’t want to leave you here.”
“I know, honey. I know. But you’ll be okay.”
“How’s Daddy? Tell me the truth, Mom, is he really okay?”
“He’s just fine,” Jen said. “It looked so much worse than it is. It’s not bleeding anymore.”
Livvy nodded. Jen could tell how much she wanted to believe.
“Listen, honey...I know this is difficult.” Jen bit her lip hard to keep from tearing up. “I know it’s scary. But we’re going to get through it together, do you hear me? We’re going to do what we need to do, one step after another, and it’ll be over. I promise. It’ll be like when you had to get your wisdom teeth out. You remember how scared you were? Everything—getting up that day, and driving to Dr. Pearl’s office, and waiting—it was just one step at a time, right?”
“I guess,” Livvy said doubtfully. “I mean, you’re sure about the money, right? All you have to do is get it tomorrow, and then this will be over?”
“Yes. Just like I said, one step after another. In a month, this will seem like...” She was going to say it would seem like it had never happened at all, but that was too far from the truth. “It will seem like it happened in another lifetime.”
Livvy chewed her lip, an old habit that only showed itself when she was anxious. “Is Dan bringing his gun?”
“Yes, I think so, but he’s not going to use it, not out in the neighborhood. You’re just going to help him look for Teddy.”
Livvy nodded, looking miserable. “Mom...what if all of this is my fault?”
“We talked about that, sweetie. You can’t control those men. They’re criminals. When Daddy got hurt, that was their fault. They made the decision to shoot, not you.”
“I know but—I mean, what if it’s my fault they’re even here? That they came here in the first place?”
Jen drew back and looked at her daughter carefully. “How could that possibly be true, honey? How could you have done anything to make them target us?”
“I don’t know,” Livvy whispered, not looking at her. “Just...somehow.”
“You need to stop thinking like that. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re just...we’re all just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But we’re going to get through it.”
Livvy nodded, her chin down. “Do you want me to try to escape?”
It was tempting. God, it was so tempting. If only Livvy could break away, too, then nothing else would matter. Jen would stay behind with Ted, and they would be together, and if the worst happened—if Dan and Ryan killed them both— their children would still be free, would be safe, and Jen could accept that trade.
But what she’d said, about Dan not using his gun—she knew that was naive. He was a con. He was dangerous, and if he felt threatened, if he lost control of the plan, there was no telling what he might do.
“No, sweetie, just go along,” she said. “Help him look, or at least pretend to help him look. Do what Dan says, and soon you’ll be back.”
“But if I see Teddy I am not going to tell Dan,” Livvy whispered fiercely. “I won’t help him. I hope Teddy’s so far away by now.”
“I know. Me, too,” Jen said.
She thought about how, just days ago, she’d had it all. Healthy children and a loving husband and a beautiful home and good friends. How could she not have known how lucky she was?
Livvy was innocent. Ted had been punished. Teddy had escaped. Only Jen couldn’t yet tell what part she played in this terrible story. Had she brought disaster to her family by not valuing what she had? Was she being punished for taking it all for granted?
Chapter Sixteen
Livvy walked along the neighborhood streets with Dan, dragging her feet. Every time she got too far behind he would turn around and tell her to hurry up, and wait while she caught up. He didn’t know about the shortcut from the end of the street to the cul-de-sac the next street over, and Livvy wasn’t about to tell him, because sometimes Livvy took Teddy that way when they were going to the park, and maybe he remembered. The people whose backyard they cut through had a little brown dog that they tied up every afternoon, rain or shine or snow, so it could do its business, and Teddy loved to stand just beyond the limit of its chain, talking to the dog while it strained at its collar and wagged its tail.
She hoped maybe the people who lived in that house saw Teddy outside with their dog and got worried about him and went outside to talk to him. Maybe they had him wrapped up in a blanket with hot chocolate right now, while they tried to figure out where he lived. She wasn’t going to take a chance that Teddy would look out their glass doors and see her and Dan walking by. If Teddy saw her, she knew he’d come running, and that was the opposite of what needed to happen.
“There’s a path that runs along the back of these houses,” she said instead. “If we follow it, we can see into all the backyards.”
Dan grunted his assent and followed her back to the deer path. It was little more than a faint trail in the summer, but in the winter the deer trampled the snow away until there was just a thin layer of dirty ice on the frozen earth below. Livvy chose it because no one ever walked on it; there were too many exposed roots and rocks. She didn’t think Teddy even knew it was there.
Livvy tried to figure out how to talk to Dan while they walked. Ever since Ryan first touched her, putting his hand over her mouth when they forced their way through the front door, she had been sure this was Allie’s vengeance. Allie hated her so much that she wouldn’t think twice about putting her cousins up to this. Especially after what had happened at the party and the way Sean had been talking to her at the locker.
The blue-black cross tattoos on the insides of Ryan’s arms—that was a gang thing, she was pretty sure. The way he’d pulled back her hair, caressed her skin with the gun, it was like he was taunting her. Showing her what happened to girls who went after Allie’s boyfriend.
She could totally imagine how Allie talked them into it, too: Give her a scare, she could have said, and then take whatever you want. Because there was lots to take.
Looking back on it, Livvy couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been. One Sunday last winter when her parents had taken Teddy to Elk River to see her great-aunt, she’d stayed home to study for finals and instead Sean came over—and she’d showed him everything. She had been trying to impress him, trying to find any way to keep him, because already he had begun moving away from her. She showed him the paintings her parents got on their honeymoon and her dad’s collection, the sound system her dad had put in the living room. And it had been wrong, all wrong. Sean had gotten so quiet, Livvy finally figured out it made him uncomfortable, all the things they had. When his family was poor.
And Allie...she couldn’t stand thinking about him telling Allie about it, making her hate Livvy all that much more. Hating her for what she had, when all Livvy had ever wanted was Sean. But once Allie knew, all she had to do was tell her cousins. They’d know who to call. But it got out of control. They weren’t happy with just the stuff in the house; they made her mom go to the bank. Her poor mom, she was totally unprepared for this—she was just a nice suburban lady who had no idea what went on in the real world. Hell, her mom thought everyone should just be polite and the world would fix itself; she was always writing thank-you notes and cleaning the table when they went out to eat to make it easier for the busboys.
“You should leave my mom alone,” Livvy blurted as her boots crunched through the frozen leaves, walking ahead of Dan.
“I’m not trying to hurt anyone,” he said. She could tell he was really pissed to be outside, that he was stuck trying to fix Ryan’s mistake. “I’m just getting the goddamn job done. You want to blame anyone, blame yourself for letting your brother go.”
“Ryan let us upstairs,” she said. “It was Ryan’s fault, not mine.”
Dan just grunted, and they walked without speaking for a while.
“Listen.” Livvy decided she had to know. It wasn’t like it would make anything worse. She stopped, and Dan was forced to stop, too, because the path was only wide enough for one person. “I just want to know something. You can just say yes or no, you don’t have to tell me the whole thing. But did a girl from my school put you up to this? I mean, her cousins? Their last name is Morris. I think.”
Dan raised his eyebrow. He swiped the snow off his hair, then wiped his hand on his pants. “What the hell are you talking about? What kind of crazy question is that?”
“I’m not going to tell,” Livvy assured him. “I just want to know. For personal reasons.”
“Christ,” Dan said, more to himself than her. “Turn around and get moving.”
They walked for a while without saying anything, and Livvy was convinced he wasn’t going to answer her.
When he finally did, it wasn’t an answer at all. They were walking along the edge of the ravine, where the black water flowed over the icy rocks down below, and you could look across at the electrical lines and dumpy houses on the other side in Hastings. They came to the bend where the path turned back toward the edge of the neighborhood, when Livvy tripped over a
root and almost fell. She grabbed for a branch and managed to scramble back up, but Dan did nothing to help, just stood there watching her.
“You think you got it bad,” he said, gazing gloomily over her shoulder, at the backyards of all the houses on Dogwood Lane, with their play structures and barbecue grills and outdoor furniture covered with snow. “You think you got something to complain about.
“Christ,” he muttered again, and spat, the gobbet landing just a few inches from Livvy’s boot.
Chapter Seventeen
Dan and Livvy had only been gone a few minutes when Ryan came down into the basement. Jen jumped up off the couch, glad for the coffee table that separated them.
“Your husband won’t shut up and he smells like shit. If I’m going to be stuck here another day I don’t want him keeping me up all night. We’re going to bring him back down here.”
“We can’t move him now,” Jen protested. The more they disturbed his arm, the worse it would be for the wound, not to mention painful for Ted.
On the other hand, she didn’t want Ted alone with Ryan. So far he’d shown no trace of human emotion or compassion. He seemed to care nothing for anyone else, including Dan. Wasn’t that the mark of a psychopath? Since shooting Ted, he hadn’t shown any remorse. What would stop him from hurting Ted again, just because he felt like it?
“We are moving him,” Ryan said, shoving the table against her legs, bumping her knees painfully. “He’ll be fine. Now get your ass moving and help me.”
Jen knew that arguing would get her nowhere, so she started up the stairs, with Ryan following close behind. When she opened the door to the bedroom, the smell hit her first, the metallic sweetish scent of blood mixing with Ted’s sweat and the mustiness of the room. Ted grunted and his eyes fluttered open, but Jen couldn’t tell if he saw her.
Ryan went around the bed and started working at the knots that secured his good hand to the headboard. “You got scissors or something up here?”
Ted coughed. “Wire snips in the box on the bathroom floor,” he rasped. “In my toolbox.”
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