by Jenna Kernan
It was unanimous. None of them wanted him here. They stood in the living room, like a stone wall.
“Samantha?” he asked again.
“She doesn’t want to see you,” said Aldara.
He lowered his chin and glared at his sister. “That wasn’t what I asked.”
“You have been absent for months. You did not even attend your own sister’s wedding. Why now?” asked Michaela Proud.
“My mother tracked me down. She told me...” How did he say this? “She told me where to find her.”
Her dad took a menacing step in Alon’s direction, but his wife’s hand stayed him.
“Let him finish,” said Samantha’s mother.
Alon knew he had been a fool and that his misguided effort to protect Samantha had actually hurt her deeply. He did not blame her loved ones for trying to protect her from further harm.
“I thought...” He stopped, checked himself and then realized he would not be able to keep his dignity. He would not be able to appear as anything other than what he was, a fool who had used their daughter and then tossed her aside. If he was going to get to Samantha, he’d have to begin with that. “I have feelings for Samantha.”
Her dad’s hands curled into fists.
He hurried on. “But I didn’t believe I was right for her.”
“You left without a word because you cared? Is that what you expect us to believe?” asked Blake.
“I did.”
The lines about Aldara’s mouth softened and her brow lifted, giving him the first sign of a willingness to listen. “What changed your mind?”
“I was wrong, Aldara. What I said to you, what I believed about us. All wrong. Mom told me she saw Greg and Gail on the Spirit Road. She saw their immortal souls. We have them, Aldara. We all do.”
Aldara’s shoulders slumped and she swayed against her husband, who wrapped his arms about her instantly. She nestled against Blake, buried her face in his coat and wept out her relief. Blake’s eyes pinched closed and his head bowed. Alon understood then. She had told him and he had accepted her anyway.
“Blake? What?” asked Sebastian.
Michaela spoke now, moving past her husband to stare at Alon with a look of absolute astonishment. “You doubted this?”
He nodded, grimly. “I was certain...so certain that I made a grave mistake.”
“Letting her go?” asked Sebastian.
“I need to speak to her.” He put it all out there, telling them the truth, not trying to keep his pride, for he had none left. “I need to tell her that I was wrong, that I’m sorry and that I love her. I just wanted her to be happy, and I couldn’t see that I could ever make that happen. But if she’ll give me another chance, I’ll spend the centuries trying to make up for what I’ve done.”
The room fell so silent that he could hear his own stomach growling. No one moved as his gaze flicked from one frowning face to the next.
At last, Blake stepped aside and extended his hand toward the twin staircases that rose from the foyer to the second floor.
“I’ll take him,” offered Aldara.
Michaela glanced to her husband, who nodded his consent, then her attention swept back to Blake.
Alon followed his sister up the stairs, across the landing that overlooked an enormous grand room. The Prouds all stared up at him as he crossed to the hallway and out of their sight.
Aldara paused partway down the hall. “So we have immortal souls?”
“Yes.”
She drew a great, long breath. “I’ve been afraid to have children. Afraid they would be soulless like us. But now...”
The bright smile radiated hope for a moment and then gradually faded as she returned her focus to him.
“You’ve got an uphill climb, brother. She’s been grieving for months. Inconsolable. The entire family has been worried. If not for...” She stopped herself.
“For what?” he coaxed.
“For your sorry ass and your assumptions none of this would have happened. You would have been with her all along instead of having to crawl back here with your mea culpas. And, brother, she needed you. I don’t know how you’ll make this right, but you best give it your all.” She lifted a finger and pressed it deep into his chest. “Don’t screw up again.”
With those final words of encouragement, his sister paused, drew a breath and then lifted her hand to knock on the closed door.
Samantha’s lovely musical voice responded, calling out a question.
“It’s Aldara. May I come in?”
Samantha invited his sister to enter. When he tried to follow, she pushed him back in the hall.
“You got by them. But you don’t get by me unless she wants to see you. Wait here.”
The door slammed in his face.
Chapter 21
Samantha closed the door to the nursery where her two newborns slept at the same moment the knock sounded on the door to her suite. Aldara called a greeting and Samantha bade her enter. Aldara did so, firmly closing the door behind her.
Samantha noted her sister-in-law’s rigid posture and tight expression. Something was wrong.
“He’s here,” said Aldara without preamble. Her penchant for bluntness struck Samantha like a slap to the face.
She did not need to ask who “he” was. She knew and suddenly it hurt to breathe.
“Here?” She glanced to the door of the room where the twins slept. If her babies followed their usual pattern, they would sleep for at least another hour.
“He asked to speak to you. If you don’t want to see him, I’ll send him away, but...”
She let that sentence hang. But—the children were her brother’s, as well. But—he had a right to know. But—she should at least listen to what Alon had to say.
“Is he here for the twins?” These were her children and she’d fight anyone for them, even him.
“I don’t think he knows of them. May he come in?”
“Where is he?”
Aldara motioned to the closed door. “Just outside.”
Samantha drew herself up to her full height and resisted the strong impulse to shift to her more imposing bear form. But then she could not speak to him. She stared at the closed door, then cast a quick glance to Aldara, nodding once, then immediately returned her attention back to the door.
“Would you like me to stay or go?”
Samantha knew this meeting must be private. She did not want Aldara to witness Alon telling her again that he did not want her or his babies. Well, she wanted them and, contrary to his expectations, she had bore them and lived.
“Leave us, please.”
Aldara opened the door and stepped out into the hall. Samantha heard Aldara speak to her brother. “She’ll see you. Try not to screw this up...again.”
A moment later Alon’s wide shoulders filled the doorway. Her eyes gobbled up the sight of him. Her fingers itched to stroke his strong jaw and dance through the fine, soft hair on his head. His clothing looked as if he’d found them in a Dumpster, baggy jeans, worn hiking boots and a pull-over jacket that stretched tight over his broad chest. He looked tired, she realized, and his expression pinched his handsome face.
The hope that fluttered within her was crushed by his forlorn expression. He seemed like a man about to tackle a very unpleasant task. So her fears were realized. She had become a burden to him.
“Samantha.” He paused to stare at her, his gaze sweeping down her body and then back up once more. Did he mark the increase in her bust? “You’re too thin.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Why are you here?”
He glanced about her bedroom as if looking for the children that she feared he might suspect were here. Could he smell them? She moved to block the nursery door. He sagged then rebounded off the door frame as if he needed the solid structure to propel him forward.
“My mother told me about Blake and Aldara.”
“A little late to join in the festivities.”
“I’m a fool,” he said.
<
br /> Samantha’s ears perked up. Alon was many things, but never a fool. She had seen him in battle, fearless, powerful, a consummate fighter. She’d never seen him make a mistake. Except about motherhood. He’d been wrong about that.
“I don’t understand.” She took a tentative step in his direction.
“I never meant to hurt you. I only did what I thought was best. I believed you’d be better off without me. I wanted you to be a great healer and a member of the Niyanoka. I didn’t want to be the cause of your banishment.”
“So you made the decision for both of us.”
He bowed his head. “Yes.”
“Alon, you left me without a word. You hurt me, deeply.”
He bowed his head. “At the time, I thought it was best.”
“Did you? It must be wonderful to know what is best for another person without even asking her. Did you really believe that I’d forget you, forget what you mean to me and just find some replacement?”
He met her gaze. “I’m sorry, Samantha. I believed that if I stayed, I would keep you from your true path.”
He still had not said that he wanted her. Only that he was sorry for hurting her. She covered her mouth with one hand to keep herself from speaking, from crying and against the pain that now clawed at the lining of her throat.
“After the battle, Nagi told me I’d never cross the Way of Souls.”
She recoiled at this horrible lie.
He kept going, as if in a rush now to get it all out. “How could I be your soul mate if I had no soul? How could I stay with you, knowing that?”
She stared a moment, taking in this news. Finally she shook her head in flat denial. “Don’t you believe him!”
That brought the flicker of a smile. “My mother came to me a few days ago, to tell me of Aldara’s marriage. She also told me that she saw Ghost Children cross into the Spirit World. I was wrong. Terribly wrong, and I am here to beg your forgiveness. I never meant to hurt you. I only wanted you safe and happy.”
She reached for him and then held herself back. “Alon?”
“Yes?”
“You said you were protecting me. Was that only because of your promise?”
“No.” He extended his open hand, but his expression was bleak. “At first it was obligation, but then I fell in love with you. I have loved you since the day you offered to bury the Delta Pack. I never expected to find a woman who would try to protect me or one who could see in me something other than a monster.”
“You’re no monster!”
Alon smiled. “Still my fierce little defender. But I wonder if you can forgive me. I wonder if you could ever love me or if I have lost your heart through my mistakes. Please tell me it isn’t too late for us.”
His hand lay open and outstretched. She wanted to take it, wanted to believe him. A touch would tell her what he felt.
“Let me stay with you.”
She took his hand. He enfolded her in his arms and kissed her with a sweet tenderness blended with longing. The guilt and sorrow struck her first, but when their mouths met she experienced the sweet longing he still held for her. She gave over to the sensation of their reunion. At last he pulled back, resting his forehead upon hers.
“I have been as the dead these last few months. It nearly killed me to stay away.”
“I wish you hadn’t,” she admitted. “I needed you so much.”
“Can you ever forgive me?”
She rubbed a hand over his broad, muscular back. “In time.”
He captured her hands and dropped to his knees. “Samantha, I love you with all my heart and soul. Will you honor me by becoming my wife?”
She drew a breath, overwhelmed by the sincerity of his emotions and the fluttering hope he held in his heart. She drew back, breaking the contact, for her thoughts were still too private to share.
“No, Alon, not yet.” The look of pain flashed across his face and pierced her heart, but she continued on. “There is something you don’t know.”
He interrupted her. “We could find a way to be together that wouldn’t threaten you. Blake and Aldara have done so. We could, as well.”
She wanted to tell him he had been wrong about that, that she had delivered the twins. That they were perfect and beautiful and mysterious. But she had to tread cautiously. She did not know how Alon would feel about discovering he was suddenly a father.
“I have to show you something first, and then, if you still wish me for your wife, I would be honored.”
She drew him up and he rose, cautious, uncertain as she led him to the closed door to the nursery. She paused with her hand on the knob and stared into his worried blue eyes.
Alon did not like the conditional acceptance. What was behind this door that she believed might change his mind about her? There was nothing, nothing in this world that could make him love her less. So why then was his heart pumping like a piston and his forehead slick with sweat? Had she found another? Was he there beyond that door?
Samantha pushed open the door with caution, as if something might spring at her as she peeked inside. Alon braced for attack, mentally choreographing his moves, including pulling Samantha behind him. His senses rose to alert, but he heard nothing and smelled only powder and clean linen. Then it reached him, the scent of his own kind. The hairs on his neck rose.
He pushed past her to meet this challenger.
“Alon,” Samantha whispered, capturing his arm in a surprisingly strong grip. “Quietly.”
If she expected to sneak up on a Ghostling, she did not know his kind. None ever found them sleeping.
Alon stood in the strange small room, sweeping the corners for some threat. His head turned, his eyes darted and he saw nothing, no one.
Samantha pushed in, standing beside him. He remained on alert.
“Where is he?” Alon asked.
“Where is who?”
“The male Ghostling. I have his scent.”
The furniture was odd. The dresser held a small plastic pad upon it, and there was a low rocker, two covered baskets and what seemed to be a topless cage made of wood that sat on wheeled legs. Blankets and bedding filled the little container. Above it hung a series of small fluffy creatures tied on strings.
He did not know what this was or why he could not see his rival. He searched the ceiling for the familiar gray smoke but found nothing.
“What is this place?” he said, now keeping his voice hushed as uncertainty filled him.
“Haven’t you ever seen one like it?” she asked.
Was that amusement in her voice? He glanced toward her and saw her smiling.
“Never.”
She snuggled against him, resting her head upon his shoulder. Clearly she perceived no threat. He allowed her to bring him forward toward the square box with wooden slats along one side and a funny little blanket draped over the other.
“Here they are,” she whispered.
They? Alon followed Samantha’s lead, leaning to peer into the raised box. Inside were two tiny pink babies, sleeping side by side with their hands clasped.
He rocketed upright and backed away. He did not stop until he hit the windowsill. Alon tried and failed to speak and succeeded only in lifting one hand to point at the infants.
Samantha crossed to him. “Alon, breathe. You’re turning purple.”
His mouth gaped like a hooked bass, and finally the air returned to his lungs.
“Babies!” he gasped.
She giggled. “Babies,” she agreed, capturing his raised hand and lacing her fingers into his.
His gaze jumped from the sleeping box to her. She smiled indulgently at him as she stroked his cheek with her free hand.
His head spun. He could swear the floor beneath him heaved, for he had to stagger a step to keep from being tossed to the carpet. Samantha held on, an anchor in his stormy sea.
Fingers of anxiety squeezed his larynx. “Mine?”
But they couldn’t be. They were pink and perfect. She shook her head and
he covered his eyes as the truth tore into him. She had found another, had had another the entire time she was with him. Who was he? Where was he? And why had he left her here alone to raise these children?
“Alon, look at me.” She lifted his chin and waited until he opened his eyes. He stared down into the perfection of her face and the lovely dark calm of her eyes. “They’re not yours. They’re ours.”
And he knew it was so, could feel the truth of her words echoing in his heart, but more than that. He perceived her anxiety over his reaction to this news, her hope that he would accept them and her dread that he would not. What was happening here? He released her hands and clasped her shoulders so he could stare at her smiling face.
“Ours?”
She nodded, her sweet, lush mouth curling into a smile as pride beamed in her eyes.
“Yes. Ours. You’re a papa. This was what I had to show you. If you still want to marry me, you will not gain just a wife, but also a family.”
“But how?”
She laughed and patted his hand. “The usual way.”
Her love for him vibrated through him from the point of contact and traveled to his heart.
“But you’re alive. The birth, I don’t understand.”
She snuggled against his side, wrapping her arms about his torso as she rested her head against his chest.
“Helped to have two healers and two Seers and a Ghost Child in the family. Oh, and a midwife, too.”
He looked horrified and she realized what he thought. “Did it hurt?”
“Just the usual amount. A normal C-section and my dad healed me the same day.”
Alon gathered her up in his arms as relief swept through him. It was one of his fears, that she would want babies, babies that he did not dare to give her.
They stood that way a long time and then more questions sprang up in his mind, one after the other, like new green shoots amid a forest blackened by fire.
“What are they?” he asked. “I was born in my fighting form. And I was never pink and...” He stopped himself before he said “weak and helpless.”
She read his thoughts. “They’re not helpless. They can already roll over.”
She clasped his hand and drew him back with her to look at the twins.
