by Carrie Daws
Brittney pushed back from the table. “I’m going to go put my bag upstairs. Want me to take yours too, Pops?”
Before he could answer, she grabbed both and hurried to her room. Sitting on the bed, her mind spun. Father, I don’t know what to think. Almost everyone will be living here. I don’t see Logan moving back here, but he is on this side of Portland, not too far away. What do I do? Stay at Doernbecher? I don’t know if my heart can take another case like Gracie, but I know it will come. Those sweet children will penetrate my defenses, and I will become emotionally attached to them. And I will lose some. What should I do? So much is changing. Is it time for another change?
She thought of Ryan and how much her heart was getting tangled up in him. She looked forward to his e-mails, and a text in the middle of the day always brought a smile to her face. But he hasn’t said he’s moving. And what if he does take the job, but the hospital doesn’t assign him to Crossing? It would be nice to work with Dr. Williams. But if I move here and then Ryan ends up in Portland… And lest I forget, Ryan has yet to declare his undying love for me…
Brittney sighed and walked over to the dresser. She looked at her anxious reflection in the mirror. “I’m talking myself in circles. I need to have this conversation with Ryan, not myself.”
She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and walked back downstairs.
“Brittney!”
Amber waited at the bottom of the stairs for Brittney to descend, and then she enveloped her in a hug.
“Hey, Amber! You’re back! How’s it going?”
“Better than I dreamed,” Amber gushed. “How about you? I was sorry to hear about Grace passing away.”
“Yeah, that was tough. But the kids I’m working with now look good. Joshua especially is responding very well to treatment. I think he’s going to be home in record time if he keeps progressing like he has been.”
“That’s great.”
The door to the mudroom opened, and Peter stepped inside with Ryan. “Look who I found wandering around outside,” said Peter to Amber.
Amber slipped back into the kitchen to give her brother a warm hug. Brittney followed but hung back slightly.
“Apparently he’s turning into quite the local hero,” said Peter.
“Doing what?” Amber asked.
“We ran into a bad car accident coming down this morning. Ryan managed the scene and began triage until fire and rescue got there,” Brittney explained with obvious pride for Ryan’s skills.
“Wow,” said Amber. “I’m impressed. Do Mom and Dad know yet?”
“I was just doing my job.” Ryan waved his hand dismissively. “Not a big deal.”
“Which might have saved one man’s life. Not sure I can boast so much from my job.” Peter clapped Ryan on the shoulder.
“So what’s the plan for tonight?” said Ryan, changing the subject.
“No emergencies,” said Amber decisively.
“I could go for that!” said Brittney. She wrapped her arm around Amber. They strolled into the living room and sat on the couch, leaving Peter and Ryan behind to discuss the repairs to the Mustang from the accident in McWilliam.
“So what’s really going on?” Amber shifted so she was facing Brittney.
“What do you mean?”
“Your mind is on something.”
Brittney laid back and put her head on the back of the couch. She focused on the snowy mountain peaks outside the windows. “Well, one thing is Stephanie Malone.”
“Why is she bugging you?”
“I’m not sure. She irritated me a few weeks back. It was right after Gracie. Ryan and I were going up to see Josh. He got to the front entrance before me, and when I walked in, I saw her fawning all over him.”
“I’m not sure I would have handled that well,” said Amber, clearly remembering her own experiences with Stephanie.
“I didn’t. I never liked her, even before you came along! I sauntered over and gave her the impression that Ryan and I were together. And then I rubbed your marriage in her face.”
Amber pulled both legs up, wrapping her arms around them. “Oh! I would have paid to see that!”
“Yeah, well apparently since then, she’s been snooping around, asking questions about me at work.”
“What kind of questions?”
“The kind that make it seem like she’s trying to get me into trouble.”
“Can she do that?”
“Well, it would probably be hard. She is on the board in her father’s place, but normally for a nurse to get called before the board you have to be having doctor issues. I don’t think my supervisor would give her two minutes, but the HR department? I don’t know.” Brittney sighed deeply and put her hair behind an ear.
“So what else is going on?”
Brittney took a deep breath. She and Amber had talked many hours about all kinds of things, but Amber had usually been the one opening her heart. Not Brittney. “Some friends at worked thought I’d be moving down here soon,” Brittney finally admitted.
Amber’s eyes lit up. “Why would they think that?”
Brittney grabbed the pillow on the couch beside her and hugged it tight. She looked at Amber and watched Amber’s eyes look toward the people still having a conversation in the kitchen.
“Ryan?” said Amber quietly. “Do they think he’s going to take the job in Crossing, and so they expect you to move down here with him?”
Brittney closed her eyes for a moment, unsure of how much of her heart she really wanted to expose to Ryan’s sister.
Amber laid a hand on Brittney’s arm. “Do you like Ryan?”
She looked at Amber. “As a friend? Yes,” she hedged.
“You know what I meant,” Amber said with a hint of impatience and a poke in the arm.
“As more than a friend?” Brittney shrugged self-consciously.“I don’t know.”
“How long have you not known?”
Brittney looked at Amber and answered slowly. “Since about the wedding. I think. Maybe.” Brittney sighed and laid her head on the back of the couch. “I’m doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“It seems like every time I start thinking about life with him, or the possibility of life with him, I start talking in three and four-word sentences. It’s like I can’t put a coherent thought together.”
“Sounds like you get flustered thinking about it.” Amber grinned knowingly.
“Maybe so.” Brittney glanced at her face. “What are you grinning about?”
“We could be double-related soon!”
“Now you’re jumping way ahead.”
“Jumping ahead of what?” said Peter, ambling into the room with Ryan behind him.
Brittney and Amber looked at each other. “Nothing!” they said together, breaking out in giggles.
Chapter 21
A LITTLE BEFORE DINNER, RYAN pulled Brittney off the couch. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go for a walk.”
They stopped in the kitchen long enough to let Faye know they’d be back soon before grabbing coats from the mudroom and heading out. Brittney picked a well-worn path through the trees that led to the river.
“So, I wanted you to know before it comes out at dinner tonight that I’ve made a decision.”
Brittney walked quietly beside him, seemingly focusing on the trail.
“I turned down the job in McWilliam.”
Brittney stopped in the path and looked at him. “Oh,” she finally said, releasing her breath. “I’m not sure I expected that.”
“Well, in the short-term, the money would have been better, and the experience would have looked great on my resume.” Ryan grabbed her hand and turned her so they could continue down the path.
“So why turn it down?”
Ryan glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “Because I’m slowly learning to look a little farther than the near future. And I’m beginning to see greater value in some intangibles.”
“Intangibles?”
<
br /> They reached the edge of the river, and he looked appreciatively at the flowing water and the sturdy firs along the bank. “Things like having time to relax with family, forming relationships that last.”
He turned and looked directly at her. “Love and family have definitely moved way up on my priority list over the last couple of months.”
He looked for something in her eyes that would give him the courage to proceed, but he saw conflict. He’d sensed she was holding something back since their dinner at Romano’s last night, but he couldn’t tell if it had to do with him or not. Hope of a life with her fought to survive.
She turned from him and stepped closer to the river, seemingly fascinated by the small branch that was floating past. “So does that mean you’re going to try to get the job in Crossing?”
Ryan stood behind her, uncertain. “I’ve already talked to my boss’s contact in human resources. He’s sending my application packet through the proper channels, but he doesn’t think it will be a problem. He’s trying to rush it so Dr. Williams won’t be on his own for too long.”
He waited quietly. Come on, B. Deflect or change the topic. Give me the sign that this is important to you, that this hits close to your heart and you don’t want to talk about it.
She appeared to be looking upstream, staring off into space. Finally, she turned around as if she had come to a decision. “Come on, I’ll show you my mom’s favorite spot not too far from here.”
Ryan suppressed a grin as she pulled him along the path and continued talking.
“How are the repairs to your Mustang going? I saw it was covered in primer. Does that mean it just needs painted now?”
Two weeks later, Ryan pulled into Frank and Faye’s driveway as the evening stars began to appear overhead. The night was clear and slightly warmer than normal for early March.
After parking in front of the garage, he made his way to the porch. He took a deep breath and knocked on the front door.
“Ryan!” said Faye as the door swung open. “This is a surprise. Come on in! What are you doing here?”
Ryan wiped his shoes on the welcome mat and stepped inside. “I’m hoping to catch you and Frank alone. I need to talk to you.”
“Of course, dear. Come on in.” Faye closed the door behind him and led the way into the living room. Frank was comfortably seated in a chair with a book. He stood when Ryan walked into the room.
“Ryan. Good to see you.”
“Thank you, sir. I was hoping you’d be home tonight,” said Ryan.
“We’re usually home,” said Frank. “You just never know how many will be here with us!” He winked at his wife.
“Now, you talk like I have people over all the time,” said Faye, pretending to be offended.
“Quite frequently, love. Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”
“Ryan, I’m sure you don’t want to talk about all this,” said Faye. “Sit down. Tell us what’s on your mind.” Faye sat down on the couch nearest Frank, allowing Ryan the chair where he’d be able to face them both at the same time.
“Well, as you know, I’ll be starting to work at the clinic in a couple weeks with Dr. Williams.”
“We’re all very excited about that,” said Faye with a nod.
“I plan to maintain my paramedic license for now. But I’ve already started the enrollment process at the university so I can finish my bachelor’s and then work towards a physician’s assistant.”
“What’s that?” said Frank. “Is that like a nurse?”
“Not really. It’s more like a doctor, but it’s less school. I’ll still have to work under a licensed M.D., but I’ll be able to do pretty much everything Dr. Williams can do, except for surgery.”
“That sounds wonderful, dear,” said Faye, tilting her head and waiting for more.
“With Dr. Williams and I, plus Betsy at the front desk, that almost fully staffs the clinic on a regular basis. Everyone lives in Crossing, so medical care should improve drastically. The only thing we’ll be missing is a regular nurse.”
“Well, that all sounds pretty good. Certainly better than we’ve had in a long time.” said Faye.
“Yes, ma’am.” Ryan looked at Frank.
“Have you decided where you’re going to live?” said Faye.
Frank covered Faye’s hand with his own. “Love, I think the boy has more to say.”
Keeping his eyes steady on Frank, Ryan said, “I’d like to encourage Brittney to ask for a transfer to the clinic.” Ryan swallowed. “I’d also like your permission and blessing to ask Brittney to become my wife.”
Faye gasped, putting one hand up to her mouth. “Oh, Ryan, dear.”
Ryan remained focused on Frank’s eyes. It’s all out in the open. All my plans. Frank, say something.
“I’ve been watching you, son, ever since you first came here,” said Frank. “You seemed to be sittin’ the fence, not sure whether or not you liked God’s path.”
“That’s true.”
“Has that changed?”
“Honestly, yes. When I first came here, I watched everyone a lot. As I watched my sister and saw how much she was learning to trust God, it made me realize that He was only God to me, some figurehead in the sky watching to see how closely I followed the rules. I didn’t really want to get close to Him if that’s all He was. But as I’ve been here, as I’ve watched you and learned more of the history of this family, I discovered that you believe in more than I dreamed was possible. That your God not only wanted a relationship with me, but that He might actually be pursuing me. So, I put Him to the test.”
“A test?” said Faye.
“Yes, much like Gideon in the Bible,” said Ryan. “I asked for clear direction in my career. And things began falling into place. Within a week, I’d become aware of the issues at the clinic and been given the opportunity to help both Eleni and Billy with non-emergency conditions. And Brittney, not fully knowing what was going on in my head, suggested I go back to school to become a doctor.”
“Gideon didn’t exactly ask for clear direction in his career, son,” said Frank.
“No, sir. He didn’t,” said Ryan.
“Then why focus on Gideon?” said Frank.
Ryan looked down at his hands for a moment, then back at Frank. “I hesitate to tell you because I just… I’m not quite sure how to explain it.”
“Try us,” said Faye.
Ryan took a deep breath. This is a huge risk. “The morning of my sister’s wedding, I… well, to be truthful, I don’t really know what it was. At the time, I thought I was awake, but when it was over, I woke up. So maybe it was a dream.”
He paused and looked at Frank and Faye. Both were paying close attention. Well, that’s good. I haven’t freaked them out yet.
“In this dream, or whatever it was, a man stood by my bedroom door. He said that I was being sent. He said that I’ve been made for more than I’ve taken hold of. Then he told me to read Judges six through seven so I’d know what God does for those who obey.”
“You saw an angel?” said Faye. She looked at Frank.
“He didn’t happen to have blond hair and blue eyes,” said Frank. “Dressed in blue jeans and hiking boots?”
Ryan’s jaw dropped. He stared at Frank in disbelief. “How’d you know that?” said Ryan.
“Peter’s seen him,” said Frank.
“The morning of the wedding?” said Ryan, still slack-jawed.
“No, just before Christmas,” said Faye. “And just after Christmas, Andy talked to him.”
“His name’s Matthew,” said Frank by way of explanation.
“Yeah, he did say that.” Ryan stood and paced over to the hearth, rubbing his jaw. An angel? Ryan had considered the possibility, but to say it out loud seemed ludicrous. Since when do angels talk to humans? Sure, the stories in the Bible, but… modern America?
“Do you know what he was trying to tell you?” said Faye.
Ryan turned to face her. “I think so. He, uh, Matthew, sai
d something I didn’t understand at the time. He said, ‘Being sent does not necessarily mean a change in location. Sometimes it simply refers to a destination.’”
Ryan sat down on the ottoman and rubbed his knuckles. “I realized that in my own way, I’ve been running just as much as my sister had been. I stayed in contact with my family, but I didn’t support them much in their search for her, and I certainly didn’t spend a lot time with them—like Christmas. I’d use any excuse to not be with them, even for holidays.”
Ryan rubbed his jaw. He told himself that he’d already shared so much with Frank and Faye that continuing wouldn’t cost him too much more. “I also changed jobs every time a co-worker wanted to get close. It didn’t matter whether they wanted to meet for coffee or have me over for a barbeque. I didn’t want to take the risk of being hurt again like when Amber left home.”
“So now you’re moving to Crossing and determined to stay put?” said Faye.
“Yes, ma’am,” said Ryan. “I don’t know if Brittney said anything, but I had the option to stay in McWilliam and take a promotion. I turned my boss down. Whether Brittney agrees to move here or not, I’ve made my decision. I know I’ve still got a long way to go with God, but I know that Crossing is where God wants me.”
“You’ve come a long way, son,” said Frank. He paused, looking at Faye before continuing. She nodded her agreement, and he looked back at Ryan. “It’d be my honor if you’d get that girl of mine to say yes to marriage.”
Ryan beamed. He stood to offer his hand to Frank. “Thank you, sir. Thank you.”
Chapter 22
“MORNING, NICOLE,” SAID BRITTNEY AS she arrived at the nurses’ station. “How’d the night go?”
“Good. Everyone’s looking great this morning. Dr. Vanwert wants a call once the morning labs are back on Joshua.”
“Okay. Did Lori sleep through the night?”
“Pretty close. She got about six hours in, much better than the last three nights.”
“Awesome. Sounds like we’re through the worst of it until her next dose of chemo Tuesday.”
Brittney logged onto the computer and checked emails while Nicole finished making her notes.
