“LizAnne?” Richard asked sweetly.
“What, Richard, need some more pot roast?” I was tired, tired of him, tired of Eddie, just tired.
I‘m really sorry all of this is happening to you.”
“All of this wouldn’t be happening to me if you didn’t allow all of this to happen to me.”
“LizAnne, I had nothing to do with any of this, I’m just trying to protect you,” Richard reasoned.
“Well, you’re not doing a very good job,” I snapped. “I have no car and I have no money!”
Richard raised his voice. “Right, LizAnne, all you have now is just a home where you’re safe, have everything you need and you have people who love you and want to help you.”
“You love me, Richard?” I screamed.
“No, LizAnne, I just meant…”
“You love me, Richard?” I continued screaming. “You let my car be repossessed and you gave all my money to the police! Thank you, Richard, I love you, too. I guess our love is very, very special, so special I can’t understand any of it. Good night, Richard, I‘m going to bed!”
~~~~~~~~~~
“LizAnne?” Richard was peeking in my bedroom door.
“What, Richard, need some more pot roast?”
“Just checking to make sure you’re comfortable in your bed.”
“Thank you, Richard, that’s very kind of you, I’m very comfortable.”
“Good night, LizAnne, and yes, I’m having some more pot roast.”
“It’s midnight, Richard, eating this late will make you fat.”
“Good night, LizAnne, we’ll need to get up early.”
“Pot roast for breakfast, Richard?” I snapped.
“No, Larry will be here early to discuss your divorce from Ed. Good night, LizAnne.”
“I need to see him, Richard.”
“Who, Ed?”
“Yes, please, Richard, will you take me to see him in the morning?”
“Absolutely not, LizAnne, now good night.”
“Richard, I need some more of those little carrots,” I whined. “Eddie loves those little carrots. I should take him a little bowl of carrots when we see him in prison in the morning.”
“LizAnne, no!” Richard shouted, closing the door.
I yelled, “They probably don’t serve those little carrots in prison, Richard, buttery little carrots, with a hint of pot roast gravy. Richard, will you bring me a bowl of those little buttery carrots, with a hint of pot roast gravy.”
Opening the bedroom door again, Richard smiled. “LizAnne, it’s late, good night.”
I smiled, sat up in bed and shrugged my shoulders. “Richard, some of those buttery carrots and a piece of bread soaked with some of that pot roast gravy. Oh, and a napkin.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Hey, Baby, how you holding up?”
“Hello, Eddie.”
“Baby, who’s this guy…hey, we need a little privacy!” Eddie shouted while staring at Richard.
As calmly as I could I answered, “Eddie, this is Richard Castillo, he’s my employer.”
“Employer?” Eddie questioned. “Baby, didn’t you get the money I left you at the bank?”
“Yes, Eddie, I did,” I told him matter-of-factly. “But Richard called the police and gave all the money to them.”
Eddie started pacing, throwing his hands up in the air. “Who the Hell do you think you are, Castillo? LizAnne, what the Hell do you do for this guy anyway and why is he here?”
“I’m his live-in housekeeper and he drove me here to see you,” I continued in my matter-of-fact voice. “He drove me because he let my car be repossessed and now he wants to tell you something…go ahead, Richard.”
“Baby, can’t you stay at the house until I get out of here?”
“Richard doesn’t want me staying in that big house by myself.”
“Who the Hell do you think you are, Mister, telling my wife where she can and cannot live,” Eddie shouted as he poked Richard in the chest with his index finger.
“I won’t be your wife for long, Eddie, go ahead, Richard tell him.”
“Uh, LizAnne, maybe I should wait outside and you and Ed can have this conversation in private.” Richard was looking uncomfortable and turned to leave.
“Good idea, Castillo!” Eddie shouted at Richard’s back. “You’re not needed here…or wanted. Now, get out!”
Richard turned back around to face me. “On second thought, LizAnne, maybe I will stay and keep you company.”
“Now, Richard, go ahead and tell Eddie how you hired that hot-shot lawyer, Larry Hammer.”
Eddie looked shocked. “You’re divorcing me, LizAnne?”
“Yes, Eddie, Richard thinks it’s best.”
Still in shock, Eddie whined, “Baby, I didn’t do anything wrong, I was set up.”
“Richard doesn’t think so, Eddie, he thinks that money you left me is dirty money, right, Richard?” Richard smirked, raised his eyebrows, and nodded his head towards Eddie. “Richard knows everything, Eddie, he knows about…”
“Time’s up, people,” the guard announced.
Richard and I turned to leave and Eddie began shouting, “LizAnne, Baby, don’t divorce me, you’ll see, I’m innocent! Yeah, Baby, we’ll start over, you’ll see! You’ll be the next First Lady of the State, Baby, that’s what you want, isn’t it? Mrs. Eddie Christie, First Lady…hey, Baby, I’m doing all of this for you! Don’t divorce me, LizAnne!”
Richard and I drove back to his house in silence. As we pulled into the driveway, I tried to think of something congenial to say. “Thank you for driving me to the prison, Richard.”
Richard looked over at me and smiled. “It’s not a prison, LizAnne, just the county jail for now…prison comes later. Yeah, I sure hope Ed stays in prison for a long, long time because I’m pretty sure he’s going to kill me when he gets out.”
“Richard, why would you say that, Eddie’s not a killer.”
“He will be once he gets out.”
“By the way, Richard, I won’t be home when you get home from work, I made plans.”
“Plans? What plans?”
“I’ll put your dinner in the refrigerator and you can just heat it up when you get ready to eat.”
“Plans, LizAnne, what plans?”
“I made these plans before I came to work for you.”
“What plans, LizAnne?” Richard asked with aggravation building in his tone.
“I’m having dinner with Jonathan Strong.”
“Jonathan Strong!” Richard yelled, “The Hell you are, LizAnne, the man’s a dirt bag! You’ll have dinner with me, end of discussion.”
I frowned and raised my eyebrows. “End of discussion, Richard? I’m having dinner with Jonathan Strong, and that’s the end of the discussion. Goodbye and have a nice day.”
Richard tugged on my arm as I got out of the car. “Wait, LizAnne, I’ll walk you inside and make sure everything’s okay inside the house before I go back to work.”
“Thank you, Richard, that’s very kind of you.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Richard, what are you doing home in the middle of the afternoon?” I yelled over the noise of the lawnmower, my knees still vibrating to the music of the engine.
“Well, LizAnne, you said you…”
“What?” I yelled.
Richard yelled back, a little louder, “You said you were going to mow and I forgot to check the oil in the mower.”
“What?”
“LizAnne!” He shouted with frustration, “Turn off the damn…”
“What?”
Richard yanked the key out of the lawnmower’s ignition. “Okay, that’s better. You said you were going to mow and I forgot to check the oil in the…”
“I checked the oil, Richard, you showed me how, remember?”
“Oh, yeah, I guess I did. Well, looks like you’re finished here so why don’t I put the lawnmower up and you can go
get ready…I need to drive into town and drop off some papers for a client so I thought maybe you would like to go with me and we could have an early dinner down on the River.”
I rolled my eyes. I knew what this was about. “I’ll put the lawnmower up, Richard, finish making your dinner, and then I’ll get ready for my dinner date with Jonathan Strong, end of discussion.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“You look very nice, LizAnne.” Richard was reading the newspaper and had not looked up when I entered the living room.
“Thank you, Richard. There’s a salad in the refrigerator and a chicken casserole in the oven… needs another fifteen - twenty minutes. Oh, and there’s a peach pie cooling on the kitchen counter.”
“So what time will you be home from your date with Jonathan Strong?” He asked, still reading his newspaper.
“I don’t know, Richard, after dinner some time.”
“Before breakfast?” He asked calmly, still reading his newspaper.
“Richard!”
Richard shot up from his chair and slammed his newspaper on the chair’s arm. “I don’t want him touching you, LizAnne,” he dictated.
“Richard! That’s none of your business!”
“And, I don’t want him kissing you or telling you a bunch of…”
“Richard!” I yelled, stopping him.
~~~~~~~~~~
Richard was sitting on the front porch when I returned from my date with Jonathan Strong. “Home a little early from your dinner date, LizAnne?” Richard smiled and wiped the peach pie from the corners of his mouth.
“So, how’s my peach pie?”
“Best one I’ve ever had, and, if you‘ll sit on the porch with me, I’ll get you some.”
“Thanks, Richard, that’s very kind of you.”
Richard walked towards the front door and turned to ask again, “So, why are you home so early?”
I snapped, “Jonathan Strong is a pig, just like you said, end of discussion. Oh, and, Richard, you can stop smiling now.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Yes, my pie is very good.”
Richard peered over at me as we sat on the front porch and said in a very sincere tone, “LizAnne, everything you cook, everything you do around the house is exceptional.”
“Thank you, Richard, that’s very kind of you. So, tell me, was Celia a good cook?”
“Yes, she was, maybe not at first but she kept at it until she became good at almost everything she tried.” Richard began laughing. “Thanksgiving dinner was almost always a disaster, though. Ce just couldn’t get the hang of cooking a turkey, so after a few years we started heating up a ham or buying one of those already-cooked turkeys.”
“That’s funny, Richard, Celia was always so perfect in school, I just assumed there wasn’t anything she couldn’t do, including baking a turkey, one of the easiest things in the world to prepare.”
Richard shrugged his shoulders, tilted his head, and grinned. “Well, LizAnne, we’ll just see how you do on Thanksgiving.”
“Yes, Richard, you shall see. So, Richard, you and Celia were never with anyone else, I mean, since high school?”
“That’s right,” he answered proudly.
“Wow, Richard.”
Richard smiled and asked, “So, tell me, LizAnne, how did you end up with a criminal like Ed Christie.”
“He’s not a criminal, Richard, I’m sure it’s all a big misunderstanding.”
“Sure, LizAnne,” Richard said, rolling his eyes. “Besides, it won’t be long before your divorce is final from that criminal, and hopefully, you won’t miss your love life with that low-life criminal.”
“Love life, what love life, Richard?” I replied matter-of-factly. “Eddie hasn’t touched me in probably three years. Yeah, Richard, I was just the wife smiling in the pictures, no telling who else Eddie was making smile.”
Richard looked shocked and turned to face me, his elbow positioned awkwardly on the chair’s arm rest. “Oh wow, LizAnne, I am so sorry, that’s gotta hurt when your own husband…LizAnne, you are a drop-dead gorgeous woman…” Richard looked embarrassed. “I mean, uh, I just meant you’re a very attractive woman, how could Ed not want to…”
“Come on, Richard, after a few years of marriage love making gets old, I’m sure it did for you and Celia.”
“No, it never did.”
“Come on, Richard, are you saying that…”
“Yeah, LizAnne, when Celia was well, I showed her two or three times every night how much I loved her.”
I began laughing, “I don’t believe a word of that, Richard!”
“Okay, then don’t. Hey, LizAnne, let’s get some of your chicken casserole.”
“Okay, chicken casserole, but two or three times every night, how did you two ever get any sleep?” I asked innocently.
“We got plenty of sleep.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Honestly, Richard, am I going to have to put a lock on my bedroom door?” I asked while watching Richard peer in my bedroom door.
“No, LizAnne, you’re safe. I’m looking for Ruby.”
“She’s right here in bed with me.”
“Mind if I turn the light on?”
“No, Richard, turn the light on and see for yourself, she’s very comfortable.”
“Yeah, Ruby, you do look very comfortable…I guess I’m just a little jealous.”
“Of Ruby or me?”
Richard tucked his head and laughed. “Good night, LizAnne, goodnight, so-called best friend. Oh, LizAnne, before I forget, Jessica called a little while ago, she wants to have a pool party tomorrow afternoon for a few friends of hers.”
“Okay, Richard, I’ll pick up a few things at the store in the morning and make some snacks and things.”
“It’s her friend’s birthday so I guess we’ll need a cake, too. Oh, and his parents are coming, Joel’s parents, I mean, and his grandparents, and Tia has invited some friends, too, as well as her Sorority…oh, and it’s Joel’s grandmother’s birthday, too…”
“Richard!” I interrupted.
“What, LizAnne?”
“Anyone else?”
“Anyone else, what?”
I let out a long sigh. “Good night, Richard.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“LizAnne, what are you doing up at 3:00 in the morning.” Richard was standing in front of the kitchen table running his hands through his hair and watching me while I wrote on a tablet and flipped through a dozen or so cookbooks I had stacked on the kitchen table.
“Making a menu and grocery list for this afternoon’s pool party and then I’ll have to be at the supermarket at 5:00 a.m. when they open.”
“That’s ridiculous, LizAnne, go back to bed.”
I slammed my pencil down. “What is ridiculous, Richard, is that you have given me a few short hours to throw together a party for a whole lot of people. Now, stop bothering me so I can do my job.”
“LizAnne, you’re not driving yourself to the store in the dark, buying groceries and loading them in the car in the dark, driving home in the dark, and unloading groceries in the dark…I’ll drive you…end of discussion.”
I went back to writing and studying one of the cookbooks. “Thank you, Richard, that’s very kind of you.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Richard, I’m not buying you that,” I said pointing to the item he had just tossed into the grocery cart.
Richard raised his eyebrows and retrieved the item from the cart and pointed to it. “Did I ask you to buy me this?”
“You put it in the cart, didn’t you?”
“Yes, which I will pay for with my money.”
“Technically it’s my money, my household account money.”
“Technically it comes from my pocket, LizAnne,” Richard clarified.
“Which you give to me to buy household items and groceries for the house which I deem necessary to purchase for the good of the household, and I do not deem tha
t necessary for the good of the household, therefore, I’m not buying that for you so put it back.”
“Fine, I’ll get my own cart which I will fill up with anything I deem necessary for the good of me!”
“Richard, beef jerky is not good for anyone, especially at 5:34 a.m.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Beer, Richard? You can’t buy beer at 5:37 a.m.”
“Why not?”
“It’s illegal to buy beer before 7:00 a.m. Monday through Saturday and before noon on Sunday.”
“I’m not going to drink it right now, LizAnne.” Richard emphasized every word.
“Fine, Richard, just explain that to the cashier and subsequently to the store manager.”
LizAnne Page 2
