“It’s all okay, though. I didn’t belong there anyway, and as soon as Cooper gets his act together, he’s going to ask Darden if I can sing at the club. Then I can pick up some part time work, maybe at the outlets or something, and I’ll be golden.”
Mrs. O’Donnell patted my hand. “You’ll be just fine,” she said.
“We all will be just fine, you’ll see.”
“Hey!” we heard from the other room. It was Tommy, yelling from his spot on the couch. “There’s a cop pulling in the driveway. Cooper, must be for you, buddy.”
“Oh, little brother, what did you do now?” Shane Jr. chimed in.
Michelle ran out of the kitchen, anxious to be the center of the action, and I led Mrs. O’Donnell out to the living room slowly by the hand.
The entire house fell silent at the sound of the knock on the door, and for a moment, I thought I would have to be the one to answer it. Everyone was just still. But finally Michelle bounced over and swung the door open with dramatic flair.
“Good afternoon, Officer.”
The officer, who couldn’t have been more than a year out of the academy, blushed when he saw Michelle. In his defense, she was giving him the full court press; hand on hip, chest puffed out, twirling of the hair and big, doe eyes. The poor guy.
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, uh, sorry to bother you. I was told I may find a one James Archer at this address?”
Michelle turned slowly and all eyes were now on Jay. He looked confused, and then maybe a little annoyed. His court date had been set for next month, and he was told as long as he didn’t try to flee California, he could go about his business until then. Unless he got into some other trouble, I didn’t blame him for being peeved. And here they were tracking him to the O’Donnell’s and interrupting Sunday dinner just to mess with him.
“I’m here.” Jay stepped forward. The officer looked up at him and an entirely different look of discomfort came over his face.
Again with the clearing of the throat. “Uh, Mr. Archer. I’m gonna need you to come with me for a moment, if you don’t mind. I’m afraid we have some bad news.”
4
Jay’s father was dead. Less than six months after losing his mother, Jay now had no living parents. Was a twenty-three year old still considered an orphan?
He sat on the swing set behind his parents’ house. The officer had dropped him off at the O’Donnell’s to pick up his car, but he hadn’t gone inside. Instead he had walked the once familiar route through the backyards of the two neighbors that separated Cooper’s house from his own. As he sit there, the darkness and the chill in the air settling around him like a thin, scratchy blanket, he wondered why there was even a swing set in the yard. They had moved into the house when Jay was already a teenager. If they took down the swings, his mother would have had more room for a garden, and his father would have had an easier time mowing the lawn.
He nearly laughed out loud at the thought. His mother never planted a garden. In fact she rarely went outside during the day. And his father hired some random lawn service to mow once a week; it had never even occurred to him to ask his own son to do it.
He heard the crunch of footsteps in the grass and looked up, surprised to see Izzy. He was also kind of amazed that he was happy to see her. Unfortunately, as usual, his words didn’t match the tone of his thoughts.
“What are you doing here?” he snapped.
Izzy stood a couple feet from him. She was close enough that he had to look up if he wanted to see her face. He chose not to.
“I was about to go home and saw you out here. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Jay felt a solid lump form in his throat, making it hard to swallow. His face felt hot, and he wanted to be anywhere else. In anybody else’s body except his own.
“Am I okay, you ask? Well, my father got in the car last night and decided that literally driving off a cliff was preferable to living on earth with his only son. In two weeks, just after I figure out how to bury my last remaining parent, I get to stand before a judge who likely will send me to prison to set an example for all the other wayward young people who think that selling drugs is an easy way to make money.”
He finally looked up at her. “So no, Izzy, I am most definitely not okay. But wow, hey, thanks for asking.”
She didn’t wince at his words, she didn’t cower in fear, she just looked him steadily in the eye, not responding.
His shoulders slumped and he stared off to his right, into the night. He wished he had happy memories of this house, this backyard. He thought of other kids who got to grow up in the same place all their lives; building forts, digging for worms, communicating with their best friend with walkie-talkies late at night when they were supposed to be sleeping. He’d kind of had that, back in North Carolina, back before the shit hit the fan and everything in his life was ripped out from under him like a cheap rug. No, this yard was foreign to him. He spent very little time here. Since he moved to California, most of his time was spent at the O’Donnell’s. He was lucky to have them, at least. Because having nowhere else to go, to escape the hell that had become his home, would have been intolerable.
Izzy sat down in the swing beside him. He felt the earlier surge of anger seep out of him slowly, leaving behind a dull numbness that was only marginally better. He idly thought that he wished he’d sat in the other swing. It was cracked and he hated that Izzy was subject to sit there. If he were a gentleman, he’d switch with her right now…
He needed to stop procrastinating and start planning out what to do next. He had so much to sort out. Planning the funeral wasn’t that difficult – he’d just done his mom’s without any help from his father – but figuring out how to pay, and sifting through whatever mess of papers his father had left behind, seemed like a huge undertaking. He wanted everything organized before he was carted off to jail, and he had very little time.
A brisk wind began to kick up in small gusts, and Jay caught Izzy shivering out of the corner of his eye. She wasn’t dressed for cooler weather; mini skirt, bare legs, double-layered tank top. Even her blue hair was pulled up off her neck in a messy, artful style.
“You should go home,” Jay said, his voice soft.
“Nah. I think I’ll sit here awhile. When you’re ready, we’ll drive back together.”
“I don’t feel like talking.”
Izzy shrugged. “No need. We can ride in silence, if that’s what you want.”
“What I want, is to drive home alone.”
Jay looked away, but he heard a deep sigh from Izzy. He didn’t really want her to leave. He wasn’t lying when he said that he didn’t want to talk, but her presence was comforting somehow.
“Here’s how it’s gonna work.” Izzy stood in front of him, her hands on her hips. “You and I are going to drive home together sometime tonight. I don’t care if you need to sit here another three hours, or if you’re ready to go in five minutes. I’m not leaving without you.
“Also, I will drive you back here tomorrow or maybe the next day, and help you go through the house. Your dad will need a suit, you have to make all the arrangements, and I’m sure you’ll want to get ready to unload this place, since time is of the essence.”
Jay shook his head, but Izzy held up a finger to stop his protest. “Listen, I don’t know you that well. You seem to hold everyone - especially me - at arm’s length, and that’s fine. But I am the perfect person to help you get through this. Cooper is useless, and Michelle and Mrs. O’Donnell are too emotional. I promise not to try to get you to spill your feelings or any of that shit. I’ll just help you get done what needs to be done, and that’ll be that.”
Jay stared at her for a long moment, then just shook his head, a tiny smirk teasing his mouth. She was so bossy. He didn’t have the energy to argue. Besides, what she said really did make sense.
She grinned when she saw he was complying, and reached out briefly to touch his cheek. The gesture was oddly intimate, and he backed away insti
nctively. He thought he noticed her smile slip a little, but he may have imagined it.
They sat for just a few more minutes, then he let himself be led to Izzy’s car and they made their way home. He looked out the window the entire ride and no words were spoken aloud.
5
I sat at the bar nursing a Pepsi, that was really mostly rum. I hated drinking this early in the day, but I had a lot on my mind, and the slight buzz gave me an excuse to be reflective and think deep thoughts. Right now I was thinking that I felt as if I was constantly in flux; just waiting at the station for the train to take me on to the next part of my life.
“Love the hair, Izzy. How do they like that at your new job?” I looked up to see Kate as she discreetly refreshed my drink. I was grateful for the interruption. Soul searching never really worked out too well for me.
I laughed. “Not sure anyone at my job actually noticed, what with the uniform and all that.”
Kate shook her head as she started cleaning pint glasses in the sink below the bar. “You shouldn’t hide all that light under a bushel, girl. You got a lot going on there.” She held up a glass to inspect for spots, then glanced my way. “Any time you’re ready to shine, let me know. I can convince Darden to put you on display behind this bar in the blink of an eye. You would make mad tips, especially with the crowd they’re starting to bring in.”
I looked up toward the stage where Kate had nodded, and instantly got a sour look on my face. Jay was messing around on his guitar while one of the waitresses draped her body seductively over the lip of the stage, no doubt giving him an ample view of cleavage. He appeared to be ignoring her, which only made her try harder. If I wasn’t so disgusted, I would almost feel sorry for her. She was making an ass of herself.
Apparently, Kate was as irritated by this display as I was. She snorted. “Jessica isn’t even scheduled to work for three more hours. Guess she was feeling super dedicated today.”
I shrugged and took a large gulp of my drink, my eyes watering from the strength of it. “I guess most girls are suckers for a bad boy rock star. I just don’t get the appeal.”
“Ha!” Kate stared at me wide-eyed. “So those moony-eyed looks you send over Jay’s way are simply your way of observing in more of a clinical fashion? No interest there at all?”
I gulped. Had I been that transparent? “No idea what you’re talking about, Kate.”
As if he could sense that we were talking about him, Jay looked up over desperate fan-girl’s head and pinned me with his green magnetic gaze. As always, my pulse quickened and my hands began to sweat.
Since his father’s funeral, things had reverted to the way they always had been between us. He would either completely ignore me or he’d look at me in such a way that it appeared he was dismissing me and mocking me at the same time. And in order to retaliate, I acted catty and standoffish.
We’d shared a moment in his backyard that night when his father died, and we’d spent hours in the weeks that followed, just him and I, clearing out his parents’ house. Sometimes we’d talk, just about stupid stuff, but mostly we worked in silence. Still, we were working together, side by side, and for a minute I really thought we’d turned a corner. I knew he was going through a lot of shit, but I was done trying to figure out what made him tick.
“I’m serious about the job, Iz. Let me know when you come to your senses, okay?” Kate winked and disappeared into the back storage room. I swiveled in my stool so that my back was completely to the stage.
I hadn’t even wanted to come, but Cooper had badgered me into it. This was the last night Cooper’s band, aptly named “The UnAmused”, would play at Darden’s club. Jay left for rehab on Sunday, and the band was on hiatus until he came back in six weeks. Darden had not only promised The UnAmused their slot back, he had also given the approval for me to be the opener for them on a trial basis.
I had mixed feelings about that.
Since I’d had the brilliant idea that performing might be a good way to make some extra money, I had a chance to think about it some more, and I wasn’t sure I was up for it. Without the extra income, though, I had no hope of ever moving out of Jay and Cooper’s place. I had been counting on the meager income to supplement whatever other crap job I landed. Instead I’d been forced to take a warehouse job. Crap hours, decent pay, hideous work conditions.
Hell, I needed to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I pushed back my half empty glass and made my way over to where Cooper and his girlfriend, Trisha were fondling each other in the booth closest to the stage. I flounced down next to them anyway, needing a distraction from the insidious giggling of the waitress trying to get into Jay’s pants.
Cooper smiled at me, and Trisha gave me a look that fell somewhere between contempt and embarrassment. She and I got along okay, but we hadn’t exactly bonded since she’d started dating Cooper a year ago. On her end, I think I just made her uncomfortable. On my end, I didn’t like the way she messed with Cooper’s head. Their relationship was on again, off again, and though he drank too much for my liking anyway, I’d rarely seen him sober since she entered the picture. In fact, I was pretty sure he was plastered right now.
“Jesus, Coop, it’s barely two in the afternoon,” I said, only half teasing. “Can’t you wait ‘til happy hour, like a normal person?”
Trisha got off his lap and he swatted her on the ass before she walked away. “It’s always happy hour in my world. And you should know better than anyone that I’m not a normal person.” He grinned sloppily and draped an arm over my shoulder. I winced. He smelled like he’d bathed in hops.
“So, are you ready for tonight?” Cooper asked, trying to focus on my face.
I rolled my eyes. “It’s not my maiden voyage, you know. I’ve been on stage a hundred times. Besides, it’s only one song.” Darden was “testing me out” before he made any kind of formal agreement to let me play regularly. I was a little put off by it – I’d tried out for him when Cooper first approached him about me - but I guess he had every right to see what I could do onstage for a crowd.
“I know that. But you’ve never been an opener for a band with such a large following as The UnAmused.” He waggled his eyebrows and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Yes, you guys are super-famous, here in the booming metropolis of Kingston. People come from blocks away to see you guys every weekend!”
The truth was, Cooper’s band did have a strong local following, but local following in Kingston wasn’t worth the bar napkin it was printed on. Our town lay on the eastern edge of Monterey County; just far enough off of Route 5 to be inconvenient to the whole world, and just inland enough that no one would bother to try and find us. The band was talented. With Cooper’s swaggering lead performance skills and the brooding, mysterious Jay on guitar, there was no doubt about it. But they never really aspired to take things any further, and since they rarely performed any original stuff – which was where the real magic was – they would always be just another weekend cover band in any other town.
“Hey, stick with us, and you’ll be going places, baby.”
I removed Cooper’s arm from my shoulder, and scooted away; partly to look at him and partly so that I could breathe some fresh-like air. “I don’t expect to go places, Coop. This is just for fun. Singing helps me work off some anxiety. And as an added bonus, maybe I’ll find me a nice boy toy to take home tonight.”
He snorted, right in my ear. Very nice. “Ha! Izzy Delaney, you are the world’s biggest tease. They’ll be lining up out your door, but you won’t pay them any attention. You never do.” He leaned back and belched. “And we both know why.”
“Why what?” I started at the sound of Jay’s voice. He was standing so close to where I was sitting, that my cheek nearly grazed his stomach.
“Speak of the devil,” Cooper said, a conspiratorial look in his eye. I elbowed him hard in the side and he let out a whoosh of air.
“I gotta pee,” I said, worried that my fa
ce was starting to redden. I would rather die a thousand deaths than let Jay see how he affected me. I waited for him to step aside, my eyes carefully averted from his own. But he stood where he was. “Could you move?” I said, the exasperation evident in my voice. He waited another beat, then finally took a small step to one side.
“Don’t fall in!” I heard Cooper yell as I headed to the back of the club. I flipped him the bird over my shoulder.
When I got back to the table, my face back to its usual pallor, Jay was there alone. I hesitated only a moment before sliding in across from him. I shredded a cocktail napkin into strips to keep my hands busy, my eyes searching the room for salvation in the form of Cooper.
“I need to ask you a favor,” Jay said, startling me. He so rarely initiated any communication between us. I looked at him long and hard to see if maybe he was kidding around, but his face was as it normally looked – stony and somber. I leaned across the table a little and nodded, indicating that he should continue. He shocked me by getting up and sliding into the seat beside me.
“I check into rehab Sunday.”
“Uh, yes I know. Hence this fabulous celebration Cooper and I are throwing for you right now.” I gestured toward the empty bar, then thumbed the general area where Cooper was now necking with Trisha openly.
He glanced over, then his eyes came back to me, and he smiled. My heart may have stopped for a moment. I wasn’t sure I had ever seen him smile – at least not at me. And though the expression was brief, and didn’t reach all the way to his eyes, it was definitely something that I would like to see again. And often. The realization of that made me uneasy.
“What kind of favor? You want to get in one last romp in the hay before you go in the joint?” I was teasing, of course, but my chest felt heavy. I was anticipating his response, as if there was a chance he’d take me up on my offer.
He rubbed his hand down his stubbly cheek, and looked down at his hands on the table. “Um, no. Nothing like that.” He cleared his throat. “I was wondering if I could write to you.”
The Duet Page 3
