by Cydney Rax
“Oops, I am being rude. Dani,” Vette says, “let me introduce you to Karetha, my cousin LaNecia’s best friend. When those two get together, don’t pay them any mind. They’re young and wild like the rest of the fam. Ka may as well be in the fam as much as she hangs around.”
Karetha produces a forced smile, and I want to throw up a hand and tell her, “Save the phoniness. Don’t bother.” But I swallow my pride and grin, extending my fingers for a handshake. “Pleasure to meet you. Hey, Vette, you don’t have to explain. I was their age once.”
Karetha starts snickering right in my face.
“Um,” I say coolly, “I don’t know why you think that statement is so funny….”
“Damn, Dani, please don’t start. You don’t have to turn every incident into an argument.” Vette smiles and rolls her eyes. “There’s already enough of that going on.”
Karetha laughs and glances briefly at Scottie, LaNecia, and the clergyman.
“That man of God doesn’t care too much for rap music,” Vette says. “But Scottie feels since he’s the deejay, he can play whoever he wants. And poor LaNecia, of course, she’s gonna back Scottie. But I think they’re all trying to work things out. Some things just aren’t worth an argument.”
Several minutes pass as Vette and Karetha gossip while I spend time playing peekaboo with Brax.
We’re interrupted when Scottie and LaNecia wander over to our table. He apologizes for the commotion about the music and suggests we strike up a spades game while he takes a break. LaNecia immediately grabs his arm, pleading to be his partner, and he says okay. I look at Vette, but she shakes her head like she’s not interested. I decide to wave at Neil, who is seated two tables over. He quickly comes to see what I want and agrees to team up: me and Neil against LaNecia and his brother.
Vette holds Brax in her lap so they can watch us play. Neil is seated across from me, and Scottie is on my right side, with Vette and Brax on my left. LaNecia sits across from Scottie, and Ka is seated next to Neil.
“I’ll shuffle,” Neil offers, and he deals the first deck.
“First hand bids itself. No bidding,” Scottie instructs us.
I try to concentrate on my hand but find myself blushing when Neil offers me warm gazes from across the table.
“You bothered by something?” I ask Neil as he places a card on the table.
“What are you talking about?” Neil asks as LaNecia tosses her card.
“You keep giving me these peculiar looks. Watching me like a hawk.”
Neil studies Scottie and says, “Just making sure you’re not cheating.”
“Whoops, sorry, boyfriend,” I say to Scottie, as a warning that my card is about to beat his.
“He’s not your boyfriend.” LaNecia stands up and glares at me, then sits back down.
“Excuse me. Have you forgotten you’re just his little cousin?” I ask, just to antagonize her.
“Dani, not now,” Neil pleads. “Ignore LaNecia. It’s your turn.”
“Here, how’s that?” I slap down a king of hearts.
“Play ya game, baby. I ain’t mad atcha,” Scottie says.
I proudly scoop up the cards. We continue to play, and I’m trying to have fun. It feels good to know that, surprisingly, Neil and I are winning, earning more books than Scottie and LaNecia. Winning makes me feel good and powerful. Especially since my competition is clearly a woman who has eyes for Scottie Meadows.
“Neil? Dani?” Uh-oh. It’s Anya Meadows. Fine time for her to show up.
I take a long, hard look at Neil’s wife, a woman who sometimes acts catty with me for obvious reasons. Anya’s shoulder-length hair is filled with new auburn and blond highlights. Her slightly puffy stomach makes her resemble a kangaroo. And look at how she’s dressed. Her outfit consists of a multicolored hoodie (of all things) with a matching do-rag covering the crown of her head, a pair of gold macramé Egyptian sandals, and some extremely tight blue jean shorts. She’s standing at the card table next to Neil. Reese, their eight-year-old daughter, races by laughing as she’s being chased by a couple of rowdy boys.
“Well,” I reply. “Hmm. Is that Anya Meadows?” I say jokingly.
“You got that right, Dani,” she fires back. “I am a Meadows.”
I am a pro at reading between the lines. She’s a Meadows. I’m a Frazier. Point taken.
I ignore her rude stares and focus on playing the game. We continue talking trash and slamming cards. And when Scottie calls over a young relative and offers him a dollar to bring me a big cup of lemonade, then openly shares it with me by sipping on my straw, I don’t know whether to act happy or annoyed when both LaNecia and Anya look stunned.
Neil and I win by three books and celebrate with a high five. Anya gapes at Neil like he’s lost his mind, then abruptly turns around and leaves. But Neil barely blinks an eye.
I rise to my feet and take Brax in my arms. Vette stands up, too.
Suddenly, LaNecia verbally attacks Scottie, who’s still sitting at the card table.
“Why the fuck won’t you answer my question, dammit? When you were eating my pussy and going raw dog in me, you wanted to hear every little thing I had to say….”
“Oh, God,” I say, covering Brax’s ears. “I feel sick.”
Vette steadily watches LaNecia. “Humph, you and probably everyone else.”
I take one final look at the man who made me feel like a princess today and decide I’ve had enough. I grab Brax’s hand and head for my car. Vette follows me.
“I’m ready to go. Do me a favor and find my little red cooler and set it aside for me, okay? But even if you can’t find it, whatever.”
“Sure, I’ll get your cooler for you, and I totally understand if you don’t feel like staying any longer. It’s been a heck of a day, girl.”
“Hasn’t it, though? I mean,” I say wistfully, “I enjoyed myself for the most part. I–I think Scottie is considerate and intriguing,” I tell her, my voice rising with emotion. “His approach was adorable, and I love how he was into me, but all this drama …” I laugh abruptly, then stop. “I ain’t trying to go backward. Trying to move forward.”
I wave ’bye to Vette and thoughtfully observe Scottie and LaNecia from the safe distance of the parking lot.
— 2 —
ANYA
My Reality Is Far Different from My Dream
It’s moments like these that make me wonder if time really heals all wounds. In some ways, I’d say that time does heal. You definitely cannot compare the way I feel about Dani now to how I used to feel about her. In the past I could imagine myself taking a butcher knife and slicing it across this pretty young thing’s face.
Yet some folks advise, “Don’t give your energy to the ‘other woman.’ You should take out your anger on Neil. After all, he’s the one who made those vows to you, not the other woman.” And I’d shoot back, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you’re trying to say. Beat his behind. Leave hers alone.” Everyone in the world knows this type of thing is a lot easier to say than do. Even if my hubby broke his vows, he had assistance. And a woman who helps a married man stumble and fall must shoulder some of the blame. She’s an accomplice, and we all know what the law says about accomplices.
This afternoon, watching Danielle Frazier prance and dance at our family reunion is enough to make my blood boil. Why can’t she just disappear? But because of Brax, it’s impossible for Dani to ever be out of the picture. So I am forced to deal with things I’d rather forget.
No matter how much I try to get a solid grip on my life, I can’t. For me, control is like trying to hold something valuable in your hand, but your hand is covered with sudsy soap and water, so the thing you try to clutch on to always slips out of your grasp.
The spades game is a perfect example of my not being in control. Instead of playing it cool and patiently watching my husband and the others play the game, I make disapproving faces and eventually storm away to sulk at a nearby table.
After the ca
rd game ends, I notice Dani leaving with Vette. LaNecia’s loud mouth can be heard even from where I am. She’s shouting profanities at Scottie, and from the look on his face, he wants to yell back. A small crowd has gathered. I think I should intervene. I join the crowd and stand next to Scottie, LaNecia, and Karetha.
“What’s going on over here?”
LaNecia shakes her head like she doesn’t want to talk about it.
To try to ease the tension between them, I offer a hopeful smile.
“Hey, brother-in-law, you’re truly looking good these days. I mean that,” I tell Scottie. “And you’d look even better if you can stop showing off in front of family,” I say jokingly, referring to their public spat a couple of minutes ago.
“You need to talk to her about that,” Scottie says and points at LaNecia.
“If you don’t mind,” I reply. “I’d love to talk to both of you about things.”
“Women sure love to talk, talk, talk,” Scottie complains.
I laugh and nod. In my opinion, Scottie is good people. He’s never done any harm to me, so I’ve taken a liking to him even though other family members view him as a problem.
“All right, Ms. Anya, give me a minute,” LaNecia replies as Karetha fans her sweaty face with a magazine.
“Girl, calm down. Listen to Ms. Anya. I thought you two had made up. Yet you’re clowning in front of everybody. Screaming and advertising y’all’s business. They’re going to be talking about this for weeks,” Karetha cautions LaNecia as she watches the crowd disperse.
“I don’t care!”
“Yes, you do.”
“Do not.”
“LaNecia,” I cut in, “your friend is right on this one. You don’t need to have people talking against you after all you’ve been through with Scottie. Trust me. I know how horrible that kind of thing feels.”
“Yeah, but, sometimes I don’t care what these Negroes think because they can’t live my life for me,” LaNecia tells me.
Karetha says, “I wish they could. Maybe that’s the only way you’ll get it in your head when it’s time to back off….”
LaNecia sharply interrupts. “C’mon girl, even if you don’t agree with my choices, as my best friend you’re supposed to have my back.”
“Having your back doesn’t mean I can’t tell you the truth.”
“I don’t wanna hear it,” LaNecia sputters. “When I’m upset, I can’t hear anything anyone says. Anyone.”
“LaNecia, believe it or not, Karetha has your best interests at heart. You don’t always have to do what other people say, but it’s good to listen. We see what you don’t see. Okay?” I grab her around the waist and give her a solid hug, something I know she needs. I want to give her the emotional support I wanted when Neil’s family heard he and Dani were having a baby.
When I see how young and innocent she is underneath her tough shell, I believe LaNecia’s true potential is within reach. In some ways, I wish I were still LaNecia’s age.
If I had known then what I know now, I’d have taken the world by its horns and set it on fire. I definitely would have done more with my life than be a housewife, or a woman who briefly held a position in the travel industry. No, I would have loved to earn a degree in international business, globe-trot around the world, and help make an impact on society. But my reality is far different from my dream. Right now, I just want to keep my marriage together and raise my daughter, Reesy, to be responsible and emotionally mature. Life’s just too damned short. About as long as it takes to blink an eye, you look up and life is over. As I inch closer to middle age, I know I want my life to count for something.
LaNecia and I finish our hug. Scottie looks impatiently at his watch.
“We can talk over there.” I point at a wooden picnic table several yards away. All of us, including Karetha, take a seat around the table.
“Scottie, it’s so good to see you. It truly is. I’ve been worried about you, wondering if you’re making out okay since you went to Detroit. How you liking the weather?”
“Sister-in-law, Motown’s freezing temperatures ain’t no joke. Winter lasts more than six months up there. I love the snow and snowballs and Frosty the Snowman and all that, but damn, you know what I’m saying?”
“Does that mean you’re coming back home?” LaNecia says.
He coughs and shrugs. “Don’t know. The economy sucks ass up there with businesses closing left and right. It looks like a ghost town in some parts. Truth be told, my uncle James’s construction business may not be making as much money as it used to.”
“That’s understandable,” I say sympathetically. “You’re always welcome to come live with us.”
“Ha!” Scottie laughs. “I don’t think Neil feels that way.”
“We never know how Neil is going to feel. But you’d be surprised to know your brother loves you more than you think.”
“Yeah, right.”
“He does. He just has a weird way of showing it.”
“Yeah, well, anyway. I know I’d have to get a job right away … if I do end up staying with y’all. Neil used to say all the time, ‘People who don’t work, steal.’”
“That sounds like Neil.”
“I wouldn’t want to be under your roof, living off his money, and have him assuming I’m in his house being a moocher. That ain’t my style.”
I’m noticing how LaNecia dreamily stares at Scottie. Watching how she acts around him is kind of disturbing. She should learn how to let go of Scottie because she’s never going to have it her way. Even when I first heard about these two, that they were going out and hanging around each other all hours of the night, I didn’t think much of it. But when I’d go over to Sola’s, my mother-in-law, and they’d come around, too, I’d notice how LaNecia would act really possessive over Scottie. A blind person could sense they were screwing. A woman can always tell when another woman is having sex with a man. Body language. How comfy the man and woman look when they sit next to each other, how they stare into each other’s eyes as if no one else exists. Yep, my experiences with Neil and Dani have taught me much more than I’ve ever wanted to know.
Maybe the lessons I’ve learned can be shared with LaNecia and Scottie. I hate to say it, but I think that had their child survived, it might have grown up confused, mocked, and rejected.
“So, about that little confrontation you two just had. Is everything okay now?”
“Yeah, I regret that things got a little out of hand,” he replies, eyeing LaNecia. “But we’ll be okay in time.”
“How can that happen when you barely talk to me right now?”
“Scottie, I think she’s asking a legitimate question. I’m not trying to get deep in your business, but I can act as a mediator….”
“Hell, I could’ve done that.” Karetha looks offended.
“I’m not trying to take your place, Karetha. But you are so close to the situation…. Maybe I could be a little bit more objective.”
“The fact is, LaNecia and I needed to have a private conversation right after the card game, and I was trying to tell her that we were through,” Scottie says.
“No, Scottie, you were. I’m not.”
“What do you want?” he asks.
“Another chance.”
“Fine, it’s out on the table,” I say. “LaNecia knows what she wants. Now what does Scottie want?”
He pauses. “I wanted to hang out with someone else, to be honest.” He looks back toward the family reunion. “But I don’t see her anymore.” He hops up to his feet and squints. A worried expression flashes across his face.
“Oh, so it’s obvious you’re feeling something for her?” I ask, knowing he’s referring to Dani.
“I hope she knows …,” he says, but stops himself.
“She’s gone,” I tell him. “Maybe she has stuff to do.”
“She could have at least … dammit.” Looking defeated, he slowly sits down. “What can you tell me about …?”
“She’s a handful,
but knowing what I know about both of you, y’all might make an interesting couple.”
“How can you say that to Scottie with me sitting right here?” LaNecia sputters. “Scottie, don’t you know that woman is just a tramp whore who thinks she’s better than everybody. I don’t like the bitch.”
“Don’t be calling folks out their name.”
“Scottie, don’t be trying to push up on another woman in front of my face. That’s very disrespectful.”
“Are you always respectful, LaNecia? Are you?”
“She’s been hurt, Scottie,” I explain.
“I have, too,” he says sadly.
“Not more than me, though,” LaNecia says. “I think you owe me.”
“Look, LaNecia, I’m trying to be nice, but you don’t run me. Give me some space. You’re pressuring a brotha. I have decisions to make, a life to live. And that’s all I have to say.”
I decide to jump in to ease tensions. “LaNecia, what if something happened to Scottie and he decided to return to Michigan and never come back? Could you handle that and move on with your life?”
“I–I don’t know, Anya. It’s hard to think about that when I can see Scottie right in front of me. I mean, damn, how you expect me to act when it’s my first time seeing him since he hauled ass and left me.”
Scottie stands and looks like he wants to comment, but he spins around and faces the family reunion. “I gotta go.”
“Girl, he’s not thinking about you, LaNecia,” Karetha states in a weary, pleading tone. “So you shouldn’t be thinking about him. If you believe you’re going to wear the man down and he’ll eventually give in to you, it ain’t happening.”
“Hey, tell you what!” I say with excitement, trying to come up with a positive spin on this sad situation. “LaNecia, remember back in the day when you had a dream? You used to talk about being the next Gina Prince-Bythewood and would run your mouth nonstop about going to Houston Community College to study filmmaking. Are you still into that?”
